A few of you have asked if we still have our fish, Bubbles and Uptown Funk, and the answer is yes. Yes. We. Do. As you know, I wasn’t really thrilled by the arrival of the fish, mostly because I was sure they’d die right away and we’d start an endless cycle of “Can we get more fish? Can we get more fish?” and I am not about that life.
The kids have basically forgotten we have fish. That should be good news, right? Like maybe I could release the fish into the wild and no one would miss them? Except there is one person who absolutely would notice they were gone, immediately: Mike. Mike is freaking obsessed with the damn fish.
A few months ago, he decided that the tank we’d bought for the fish when we first got them wasn’t going to work anymore (this wasn’t a shock because we’d bought the cheapest tank possible). “The filter is crap and the tank is made of plastic!” He said to me, as if I cared. He decided that for his birthday he wanted a new fish tank. The one he picked out is bigger, quieter (the only trait I care about), and definitely looks nicer. He loves it. LOVES IT. I catch him standing in front of it all the time.
Look at him!
What a dork.
And you guys, I swear, he’s going to see that picture and go, “That’s a good looking tank!” I know that because he says it literally every time he stands in front of the damn thing.
I finally said, “Why do you care about these fish so much?!” and he said, “I like to take care of the things our kids love.” When I pointed out to him that the kids never even acknowledge the fish, he initially protested (“What? I saw Annie looking at them just last week!”), then finally admitted that when he was a kid, he was in charge of feeding his family fish and he never did. Unsurprisingly, the fish died. “I am responsible for the deaths of tens of fish! This is my penance!”
“Also, I like to watch them swim. It’s relaxing.” OMG
When I said, “I just can’t believe they’ve lived this long,” he replied with, “Yeah!!! All thanks to me and my amazing fish parenting!”
Steph says:
Oh my, this made me giggle. Your hubby is such a sweet (little bit dorky) parent of kids & fish. I hope it is ok that I said that cause I sure love my sweet (sometimes-dorky-in-a-good-way) husband.
Stephanie says:
I could not stop laughing at this post. Tell Mike that those fish need a nice new handbag. And a pair of shoes too!
Lori in CT says:
Oh my gosh, this is super hilarious…and very sweet too!
Chris says:
LOFREAKINGL!! This cracked me up! “What a dork.” Hahaha!! I bought a fish for my classroom a few years ago and was very ambivalent. It was for my kids. Except I ended up LOVING THAT FISH!!! I was that dork, too. ?
Heather says:
HA! I don’t know, would you gaze lovingly into the tank?! hahaha
Toni says:
This made my day!
Shelly says:
A few years ago my husband decided our two kids each needed a tank of glow fish in their rooms. I’ve spent those years feeding or reminding kids to feed the fish. Recently we lost power for three days in below freezing temps in Michigan. All the fish died except for one that floated on its side. I assumed it would soon join its friends. Nope, he revived. I’ve renamed him Lazarus. I feed him am and pm. Sigh.
yuyka says:
You should get some live plants. The tank will look even better, and the water changes could become a bit less frequent and the fish will appreciate the hiding space. Anubias and ferns are super easy to maintain, and are very hard to kill. I have bough some fern from Thailand, it travelled for 3 weeks in a dry envelope, and three years later it is still alive and well in my tank. Also the bigger the tank is the easier it is to maintain the ammonia levels in the water. So, next birthday you could get Mike a 100 litre tank. Or bigger!
Rebecca says:
Oh, that’s so funny and sweet! I’ve always loved animals, but was never really keen on the idea of dealing with a fish tank. My sister set up an aquarium in her house and everyone still watches it, from her teenage son, both daughters, and one year old. Her fish have had babies, which really kept the interest. But it is so relaxing! I ended up breaking down and getting a smallish tank with a Betta. It’s become my new little hobby that I never knew I’d enjoy!
JustAMom says:
OMG this brings back a memory I feel really bad about now. When I was in 9th grade, my best friend and I wanted to go to the mall. He mom told us we could not go until she cleaned the fish tank. It was a fairly decent size tank with about 10 fish in it. Well…….. we decided that was too much work and we really wanted to go the mall RIGHT THEN….. so the two of us lifted that tank carried it into the bathroom, and dumped all those fish right into the toilet and flushed. Took the tank the the garbage can outside, tossed it, and went to the mall. I don’t think we had ANY remorse at all, in fact, we were pretty proud of ourselves for getting it done so quickly.
OMG I am an awful person. (and now all of a sudden I can’t get Peach from Finding Nemo out of my head. “She’s a FISH KILLER!!”)
Peggy says:
This post is adorable! I’m with Mike–I think watching the fish in the tank is very relaxing too. We have a huge tank in the office I work in and I’m glad it’s nowhere near my desk or I would get nothing done all day! I’d just be sitting there staring at it!
Damita says:
This is one of the main reason a lot of hospitals (especially cancer centers I’ve visited over the years) have them in their waiting rooms.
Leah says:
I loved this.
Nellie says:
OMG, your husband sounds like mine – he LOVES fish and we’ve had all types of fish since before we married. Of course, I managed to kill a slew of them and though I felt badly about it, I wasn’t as heartbroken as he was. I don’t find them relaxing but my husband does and can stare at them for hours on end…no wonder the rest of the house looks as topsy turvy as it does, ha, ha!!
Lisa says:
I used to have a fish tank when I was younger, I loved it. About a year ago I decided that my 9 y/o daughter and I needed to go and buy a small tank and fish. I let her pick the fish, I should not have let her pick the fish. She picked a good ole gold fish and a black gold fish. They said they would not grow too big for the tank, they lied. They got bigger and bigger and bigger to the point where they would dive- trying to escape I am sure- to the bottom and water would splash out of the top. And my daughter could care less about those fish. And they were psycho, every time I walked in the kitchen they would swim at me and go nuts, nothing relaxing about them at all. I recently re-homed them to a neighbor. The black one died on day one and the gold one died the next day. I am no longer allowed to purchase any fish, ever. Mike’s tank looks much more sensible and peaceful than the too tiny tank I had……
Katie says:
HAHAHAHA!! I love this
Molly says:
Just be careful he doesn’t take it any further. My uncle started with liking my cousins’ goldfish and is now the proud owner of about a dozen saltwater tropical fish tanks (and the many fish that occupy them). His fish love now involves thermostats and heater lamps and gallons of salt water and special food for different types of fish. They swim around in circles just like dollar goldfish, they are just so much more expensive.
Heather says:
I am so afraid of this happening!!!