Living With Loss

She Would Be Ten

Madeline’s tenth birthday was on Saturday. Not long after her first birthday, I flipped ahead on the calendar and saw that her tenth birthday was going to be on a Saturday. Perfect for a blowout 10th birthday bash. Instead of planning a party, I withdrew into myself. I’ve been on autopilot for a while, without…

Thoughts And Prayers

When Madeline died, people from all over the world sent us their thoughts and prayers. I’ve said hundreds of times that I don’t know what we would have done without them. The support and love held us up when we could hardly breathe. It meant (and still means) so much to us. But our family,…

A Decade Ago

Labor Day is a holiday that the honors the American labor movement and the contributions that workers have made to the strength, prosperity, laws, and well-being of the country…but for me, it will always be the anniversary of one of the scariest days of my life. Ten years ago on Labor Day, my water broke…

I Wonder

I spend a lot of time (probably too much time) wondering about things. I wonder why I still get car sick at 38 years old. I wonder why the grocery store isn’t arranged in alphabetical order. I wonder if Lee Corso will ever acknowledge me. But mostly, I wonder about Jackie and Maddie. Last week…

Unsubscribe

As you all know by now, April is a crappy month. We have the anniversary of Madeline’s death at the beginning, and the March of Dimes’ March for Babies at the end. And while the March for Babies is a beautiful thing, it’s also emotionally debilitating. I hate asking people to join my team, and…

Ten Years Of Marching For Maddie

The beginning of the 2016 March, where we were the Family Ambassadors. I spoke in front of all of those people. Holy crap! If you can believe it (I can’t), this is our tenth year participating in the March for Babies, the March of Dimes’ biggest fundraiser. By participating, we help the March of Dimes champion the…

It’s Okay To Live

As you’ve likely heard, writer/actress/mental health advocate Carrie Fisher died two days ago. Like many people, I was terribly saddened to hear about her passing. I loved Fisher’s brilliant writing and thought she was a hilarious actress. She was only 60 years old. Yesterday, her mother, actress Debbie Reynolds, passed away. At 84 years old,…

38

I’ve looked at this photo A LOT this week. It was taken less than a month after Jackie’s brain tumor was discovered. Things were moving fast and there was a tremendously scary path in front of her. I know I personally would have been curled up in a ball. But that wasn’t Jackie. To prep…

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