Living With Loss

A New Mission

Today, on what would have been Madeline’s eighth birthday, we want to announce a new mission for the charity we started in her name, Friends of Maddie. Friends of Maddie has been helping families since 2009, when we established the charity with money that was generously donated to us after Madeline died. Over the last six years,…

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She Would Be Eight

Tomorrow would be Madeline’s eighth birthday. It’s hard for me to believe I was in the hospital on bed rest eight years ago. When I think back to that time, I remember how not afraid I was. Despite the reading and research I’d done, I was just…I don’t know. Naive? In denial? Both? I do remember…

Glistening Beams Of Light

I’ve been reading the poem my Aunt Kathy wrote for Madeline a lot lately. I wish I could tell my aunt how much this means to me. I miss both of them so much. So Brief A golden haired sprite– she struggled mightily to take her place upon the stage. Her arrival– marked by great…

I Am A Preemie Parent

November is Prematurity Awareness Month, and it’s also Madeline’s birthday month. I am missing my girl so much. We should be preparing for an eighth birthday party and a house full of second graders. When November rolls around, I have a lot of flashbacks to our time in the NICU with Maddie. I’m reposting a…

To The Mother Of A Rainbow Baby

I am connected with many in the baby/child loss community, and in the last few months I’ve noticed a huge uptick in rainbow baby announcements. For those who don’t know, a rainbow baby is a child who is born after a miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant/child loss – the rainbow after the storm. Annabel and James are both rainbow babies,…

Four Or Five Or Six

“Mom, we were counting our family members in school today.” The Kindergarteners have been doing a lot of exercises where they “find numbers” in the world, like counting steps, trees, etc. “That’s fun. Do any of your classmates come from big families?” “Yep! I didn’t know exactly how many to count. There’s four of us,…

Few Are Lucky To Have

Today marks three years since Jackie passed away. I’ve been feeling the knot in my stomach building for the last few weeks…I just can’t believe she’s been gone for three years. I miss her more every day, but I do find comfort in knowing how she’d react to life’s developments since she’s been gone. She’d…

The Tragedy Rule

You know when you discover a new author, and suddenly you come across books and mentions of her everywhere? Or when you get a new dog, and then you see that breed every time you walk down the street or play in the park? There’s actually a term for that – frequency illusion (or the Baader-Meinhof phenomenon,…

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