Living With Loss

Can’t Process

This week has left me feeling numb and shell-shocked. My brain has gone into safety mode. It has just enough energy for what my kids need and what my job needs. And even then, just barely. I’ve found myself staring for hours at the same sentence on my computer screen. The time between lunch and dinner seems…

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Six Years Gone

I’ve always been someone who was strangely good with days and dates. Without looking at a calendar, I can tell you what day of the week a date will fall on. It’s this useless, mildly amusing party trick that lead me to realize a few years ago that 2009 and 2015 are “repeating years,” or…

Marching On

I am honored to once again be volunteering with the have the March of Dimes California Chapter in a communications/social media capacity. One of the most important things I do as a volunteer is help spread the mission of the March of Dimes and their annual March for Babies fundraising walk. The March for Babies is the…

Destined For Greatness

At the beginning of the month, a private plane crashed in Kentucky with five people on board. A seven-year-old girl survived, but her parents, nine-year-old sister, and fourteen-year-old cousin did not. The story was all over the news because not only did the little girl survive but she also walked, injured, through a heavily wooded…

Everyone Is Missing Someone

I’ve been thinking a lot about the people I know who are grieving fresh losses. Holidays are so hard…they are a time of togetherness, and nothing emphasizes who isn’t there like having the rest of your loved ones in the same place. A friend in grief recently said to me, “Give it to me straight:…

The Biggest Party

Today is Jackie’s 36th birthday, the third we’ve celebrated without her. Since Jackie’s birthday fell in November, she was the first in our group of friends to turn a year older. We always threw her crazy parties for her birthday, but the year she turned thirty she decided to throw the party herself. Jackie’s thirtieth birthday was only a few…

She Would Be Seven

I told Mike a few days ago that I didn’t know what to write. All the stories about Madeline have been told. There are no new ones, no new pictures. The questions I had last year are still the questions I have this year. The words have all been written. It makes me sadder than…

I Feel November Closing In

I feel November closing in, threatening. This month holds days that should be full of joy, days of celebration that are instead reminders of what’s gone. I bury myself in work and obligations. Stay busy, keep moving, don’t stop to think about them would be too hard. But I do. What would she be like…

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