August 19, 2008
When I’m feeling stressed out or I need a pick me up, I treat myself to a spa pedicure. As you know, I despise feet. I don’t even like to touch my own. However, I have no problem with people touching mine. In fact, if I didn’t have someone work on my tootsies on a regular basis, they would be horrifying.
By the time my lunch break came around today, I was exhausted. It was too hot to sleep in my car (what, you know you’ve done it), and I felt like I’d crashed on my brother’s couch too much lately. As I walked through the parking lot, I tried to figure out what to do with myself - I certainly wasn’t going to stay at work. That’s when it occurred to me that I should go to the nail salon down the street. I could sit in one of those awesome massage chairs and maybe get a longer foot massage and rest in air conditioning. Perfect.
The nail salon near my office is very clean and new, and everyone that works there is extremely friendly and good at their jobs. I picked out my color (Give Me A Coral Sometime) and sat down in my spa assigned massaged chair. I leaned it back as far as it would go, put the massage setting on “auto” and closed my eyes. My pedicurist was fantastic, she gave me an amazing foot and leg massage - so good that I actually ponied up for the extended ten minute rub. Getting my tired legs and feet worked on while the massage chair does it’s thing on my back is a great way for me to unwind.
I really didn’t think about much of anything when I was sitting in the chair. I forgot how completely silly a person looks in a massage chair. As the rollers glide up and down your back, your body is pushed forward in a rather suggestive manner. This particular chair had rollers that would glide up about an inch and a half, then shake back and forth, causing my body to shimmy from left to right. It felt awesome. I completely forgot that I was wearing a wrap dress that was juuuuuust a little too big on top.
I remembered I was wearing a wrap dress that was juuuuuust a little too big on top when my pedicurist gently placed a towel on my chest. My eyes popped open to see her smiling at me, and she said, “Your dress. It opened.” I peaked under the towel and yeah - my bra and boobs were completely exposed. They’d been jiggling back and forth while the massage chair made my chest do the stripper shimmy. I looked around the salon to see how many people had seen my free show. The women in the chairs to either side of me all had their eyes closed. Phew. But then I looked at the other pedicurists sitting at the foot of each chair, facing toward me. They were all grinning - including the two men who worked in the salon.
When I paid at the front, I felt like I should have been tipped instead of my pedicurist.
Posted in Heather, no one's in the hospital, stuff better left unsaid 
28 Comments »
August 18, 2008
As I’m writing this, there is still about an hour left of my dad’s birthday. He is 30 years older than me, which means next year we’ll both have big birthdays to celebrate.
I didn’t grow up with a grandfather -both of my parents’ fathers passed away before I was old enough to know them. Grandfathers always seemed so cool and mysterious to me because of that. Sort of mythical, in a way. That’s why I think it’s so great to see Maddie interact with my dad.
**
She adores him. Her face lights up when she sees him. I know he lives to make her laugh, and he succeeds every time they are together.
I am really excited to see their relationship develop over the years. As much as I hope Maddie has a relationship with my mom like the one I had with my grandmother, I have similar desires for Maddie and my dad. I want her to be best friends with both of my parents. I can’t wait to see the memories they create together.
Happy birthday, Grandpa! And many, many more.
**Yeah, my dad is totally wearing a Lebowski Fest t-shirt. He is just that cool
Posted in Family, the famous Madeline 26 Comments »
August 17, 2008
Do you ever wake up in the middle of the night and think, “Holy cow! That is a great idea/hilarious joke/beautiful song that I just dreamed of!” This is something I do on a regular basis. I used to keep a pad of paper and a tape recorder next to my bed when I was in high school and college, and I really wish I still had the recordings and scribbles because, while a few of them WERE good ideas, the majority were as decipherable as Bela Karolyi after a fifth of vodka. Mumbled songs that sounded like an alien communicating, and hieroglyphics where my hilarious joke should have been.
I have a bunch of writing I need to do and I’ve been wracking my brain trying to come up with topics to cover. about 10 minutes ago, I had a flash of memory - a couple nights ago, I woke up throughout the night and typed a bunch of ideas onto my blackberry. For a minute I thought maybe I was remembering a dream, but after flipping through my blackberry I saw that I had, in fact, left myself some 2:37 am gems.
Reading through these makes me wonder not only what I was dreaming about throughout the night, but also how the hell I thought any of these things would be interesting, LET ALONE make sense.
dancing and high gas prices
Mike eats all the peanut butter
guns
arthritic diver’s sweatpants
Rigby has rabies
Mike script lobster
So, let’s see. “Dancing and high gas prices”…the only thing I can think is that maybe I will have to start exotic dancing to pay for gas. Over four bucks a gallon is killing me. “Mike eats all the peanut butter” baffles me since we don’t even have peanut butter in our house. “Guns” makes me laugh because seriously, what kind of mommy blog writes about guns? I have nothing to say about guns other than they’re shooty. And I am an excellent shot. So…I have two things to say about guns. But that’s it. “Arthritic diver’s sweatpants,” The only think I can think is that I was watching Olympic diving before I went to bed, and I have arthritis in my pointer fingers. (OLD.) “Rigby has rabies” doesn’t surprise me - have you seen the way she attacks Mordecai? “Mike script lobster”…I must have had an idea for Mike to write about. A really terrible idea.
So, Mike - you should totally write about a lobster that partners up with rabid Rigby, and together they stop people from eating all the peanut butter while simultaneously stitching sweatpants for divers with arthritis, and in their spare time they go out dancing at a new club called Overpriced Gas and wind down by going to a shooting range. Don’t you think that would be a million-dollar script?
No? Yeah, I don’t think so, either. These ideas don’t even make a good blog post. I am clearly going to have to do my brainstorming when I am slightly more awake. Although, I do think I’m going to resume keeping a voice recorder next to my bed to capture my sleepy ideas. I’m pretty sure I wrote the greatest song in the world the other night, but you’ll have to take my word for it.
Posted in Heather, stuff better left unsaid 26 Comments »
