Lots of men have issues with snoring. I do too, but luckily for me (and more specifically Heather) I only snore when I am on my back. Put this big lug on his side and the snoring all but disappears, a fact which leads to Heather often jabbing me in my ribs and ordering me to turn over.

Recently I was alone with Annie and dead tired, so I decided Annie and I would take a nap.  Once we lay down it dawned on me – Heather wasn’t there to complain if I snored! So I positioned myself on my back and drifted off to blissful, log-sawing sleep.

When I woke up I looked over at Annie and detected an ever so slight grimace on her face. It was then I realized I had subjected her to napping next to a human foghorn because, unlike Heather, Annie couldn’t tell me to stop being a chump and roll over onto my side.

That got me thinking… how many things have I done in front of her that I wouldn’t dare do in front of someone who could speak full sentences?

Memories flooded my mind:

–  Falsetto singing along to an entire Neil Young album with Annie strapped into her car seat in the back.

– Taking Annie into the bathroom with me to do my business when I was home alone with her.

– “Sampling” food off Annie’s tray while she tried to enjoy her dinner.

– Changing in front of Annie and maybe even sniff testing my shirt before tossing it into the hamper.

– Pushing Annie in her stroller while repeating ad nauseum, “You put the lime in the coconut, you drink ’em both up. You put the lime in the coconut you drink ’em both up…”

– Making Annie sit through a “Cops” marathon while she patiently clutched her Yo Gabba Gabba dolls.

– Practicing my smooth dance moves (running man, sprinkler) in front of Annie’s crib.

– Cuddling up with Annie after eating a whole tin of sardines.


I’ve got a feeling that once Annie is able to string words together her first sentence won’t be something simple like “Gimmee cookie” or “I love you.” I’m pretty sure it’ll be, “Dad, we need to talk.”