In case you haven’t figured it out already, Heather and I are big Halloween people. This explains why – even after acquiring costumes for ourselves, Annie, and Rigby – we found ourselves at the costume store earlier this week checking out the costume selection yet again.
That’s when we stumbled across something pretty disturbing – costumes for little girls that look like knock-offs of the “sexy” ones adult women wear. The one difference though was that instead of being named things like “Naughty Nurse,” these kid versions were called things like “Lil’ Cutie Nurse.” There were even photos of little girls striking seductive poses in these skimpy costumes on the packaging. Heather and I just stood there, staring, and wondered, “Is anyone else seeing how inappropriate this is?”
As a bit of a side-note… I told Heather that I was going to write a post about these costumes, so she suggested I find a photo of them online to show you what I was talking about. I surfed the web a bit, but couldn’t find any photos as inappropriate as the ones on the packaging at the costume store, so I grabbed my keys and headed for the door. Heather looked up, surprised.
“Where are you going?”
“I struck out online, so I’m gonna run down to the costume store and take a few snapshots.”
“You’re going to walk into the costume store all by yourself and start taking pictures of the scantily clad little girls on the packaging?”
“That was the plan. Yeah.”
“Gee. That won’t look weird at all.”
“It’ll be fine. If anyone asks me why I’m taking the photos I’ll explain it’s so I can put them on the Internet.”
It was then Heather forcibly took the keys from hand. So I don’t have any photos to show you, but if you’ve been to a costume store lately – and you likely have considering it is October – you’ve probably seen them yourself.
It’s unsettling to see people trying to take the innocence out of Halloween for little girls. Dressing sexy on Halloween has become a big thing with a lot of women, and regardless of what one may think of that, it is their choice to make as they are adults. But little girls should be able to be kids, play make believe, and have fun on Halloween. They shouldn’t have to see this fun rite of passage turned into a day when they have to worry about how they look, or how attractive they are to others.
Heather and I watched a documentary on OWN called “Miss Representation” the other night and it documented just how much pressure the media and society put on women to achieve an unattainable ideal of what a woman should look like. It also talked about how much women are inundated with information telling them their value lies in their physical appearance as opposed to their intellect or talent.
I heartily recommend “Miss Representation” (especially to other men) as it was a real eye opener to what women go through. I have to admit though that it scared/saddened/stressed me out because as Annie’s dad I want her life to be as happy and full of opportunity as possible, and I’m not sure exactly how I can help her drown out the negative messages that will come her way as she grows up.
I’ll have to figure it out fast, I guess, but in the meantime there is one thing I know. Halloween is going to be about fun, make believe, and enjoying some candy… just like we did when we were kids.
Enjoying Halloween like a kid should
Kirsten says:
As a preschool teacher it really sickens me what little girls are expected to wear. One mom came to me and asked where to find girls shoes because everything in her daughter’s size is high heels. The damage those horrible things do to kids’ feet is surely not worth the price of sexualising a 5 year old girl? Or am I just old-fashioned at 25?
Another pet peeve Are those Bratz dolls that all the little girls love. They’re the first lesson in How To Teach Your 4 Year Old How To Dress Like A Prostitute 101.
Heather says:
we call those dolls the Mattel Prostitot Line
Jenn says:
WOW!!! Look how devoted you are to this blog….to run out just to take a picture for us all to see!! Although I do think it was kind of you to want to show us, I must admit I do agree with Heather. Unless the people who would have witnesses you doing that really understood your blog and your intentions, it wouldn’t look good.
I do have to agree with you guys. As you know, I have 3 kids – Boy (14), Girl (11) & Boy (almost 8). All my children are active but my daughter has bad Asthma so when she gets too active, she has an attack so, she has had to stop a lot of her really active activities unfortunately. Because of this and hormones, she is going through a rather ackward stage and has gained weight…her steriods haven’t help much either when it come to the whole weight thing. Her brothers on the other hand, seem to sneeze and loose weight.
She has been teased b/c of her weight and it KILLS me. Although we validate her inner and outter beauty every single day, I do realize she has to earn her OWN respect which at times is far from easy to do.
I wish I had some profound wisdom to share on how to protect, not only Annie but all of our daughters from the pressures society, the media and our girls themselves put on their shoulders but the truth of the matter is, I am floundering as much as the next person is.
I guess the best any of us can do is thrive to be positive role models as we continue to validate our girls while encouraging them to respect and love themselves as much as we can. Time sure does fly….whether your having fun or not!!
Audra says:
Thank you so much for posting this. A couple of years ago a children’s costume catalogue was mailed to our house and every costume for girls size 6 and up seemed to be some variation of a naughty school girl or a French maid. Even the costumes for Little Red Riding Hood and witches were…well..slutty. Who decided that this was normal and acceptable? From time to time the media does get upset when a mainstream store sells things like T shirts or underwear with suggestive messages marketed at younger girls, but the skanky costume industry seems to be untouched.
Amanda says:
Pigtailpals.com has been talking about this very thing on their blog. I haven’t seen any costumes in person, since we got our daughter’s last year on clearance, but some of the pictures are frightening—and not in a good-scary-Halloween kind of way!
Amanda says:
Found the link! “From candy corny to downright porny”
http://blog.pigtailpals.com/2011/10/from-candy-corny-to-downright-porny/
Cathy K. says:
It is so very true. Work at a kids hospital and went costume shopping for the kids. I actually had a difficult time finding age appropriate costumes for the 8+ year old girls. We find it with regular clothing too.
Jannette says:
I agree. It’s not just halloween costumes but regular clothing as well. My 12 year old and I are constantly arguing about clothing.
Madi G. says:
Aw, what a bummer — I wanted photos! I’ve never seen these sexy kid costumes (and I was just costume shopping for the kiddos the other day!)
C’mon Heather…..let him go take photos! Pretty please?!? I’m dying to see what he’s talking about!!
Kate says:
There is a TON of inappropriate little girl clothes out there, too. I remember a few years ago, when the “text on the butt” rage was at its worst, seeing all sorts of 6-8 year old girls wearing sweatpants with “Cutie” or something similar on the butt. It horrified me. Just – no.
So while this doesn’t surprise me – yeah. I just don’t understand why you would do that to your child. It’s just…. Not okay.
Kari weber says:
I have never understood why any parent wanted to encourage people to look at their young daughter’s butt. I won’t even buy those for myself!
kristafied says:
My husband said that the only thing our daughters will ever have written on the ass of their pants is, “My daddy is marksman certified.”
Wendy says:
Yes! Just talked with someone about the same thing the other day! Ridiculous!
Amy says:
Just wait until you have a 13 year old daughter who needs a costume, has a great athletic figure and now has only the adult costumes to choose from. Not fun. We decided that she would go as a doctor with a very big lab coat. Someone is missing a large target market.
Rachel Jordan says:
Have you seen this ad?
http://www.naildesigners.net/justin-bieber-opi-nail-lacquer-collection/
Justin Bieber now has nail polish. It’s called ONE LESS LONELY GIRL. I found this on Monday while shopping with my 12-year old daughter. I have been fuming ever since.
Jane says:
http://missrepresentation.org/business/re-thinking-halloween/
Skye says:
I noticed the same thing at the costume store last week! The scary thing is, a lot of people must buy those costumes, otherwise they’d stop making them.
Adria says:
My 4-year-old wanted to be Ariel (the Little Mermaid) for Halloween. Even at the toddler age, I had an extremely difficult time finding a costume that covered her up and didn’t bring too much attention to the chest area. Geez.
Diane B. says:
I know exactly what you mean! My girls love pouring over the Halloween costume catalogs and the poses the girls strike are slutty/smutty/inappropriate/just plain wrong. I worry about my 7 yr old especially because she wears larger sizes (tall with a super long torso) and she’s outgrowing the “kid” costumes and is going into the tween section. They don’t fit her her, are not appropriate, and there are no fun cutesy costumes. School clothes are are another issue entirely and it’s not getting any easier. Strong dads bring up strong daughters (I hope) so stay strong and you guys are doing a great job.
Aliesha says:
Did anyone see Modern Family last night? It was a rerun of last year’s Halloween episode…anyhow, the oldest daughter kept dressing up as sexy-whatever. She started out as a sexy cat, moved on to a sexy nurse when her mom made her change, and ended on Sexy Mother Teresa…Hilarious, but mostly because there really are costumes out there for young ones like that, and its so inappropriate!
Anna says:
Ugh, I can’t even stand the trend of “Slutty _____” for adult Halloween costumes, so it’s just horrifying that this is trickling down to little girls.
Carolyn says:
I took the kids to Spirit Halloween last week to get costumes and my 12 year old ended up in tears because there was NOTHING in that place I would let her buy. She wasn’t interested in the sleazy costumes but there was not one that would have been good for her, except maybe the hippie but she was that last year. We wandered thru the adult aisles since she’s tall enough that they would find and OMG!! The slutty ones were bad enough but there were three or four men’s ones that featured, ahem, erections! So unbelievable inappropriate. I had to shoo my younger kids away. http://www.spirithalloween.com/product/dept-of-erections-adult-costume/
http://www.spirithalloween.com/product/dept-of-erections-adult-costume/
Carolyn says:
carp, sorry about the double link!
Pattie says:
I know exactly the costumes you’re talking about, and it is both very distressing and inappropriate. My daughter is only 13 months old right now, but I already know I’ll have to shield her from that kind of stuff when she’s older so she can stick to being a kid on Halloween. I shudder to think how much worse those costumes might be by then.
Trisha Vargas says:
Ventured to the Spirit store on my lunch hour yesterday to try to find a custume for me for work and one for my 3 year old. I couldn’t find one for work that wasn’t going to make me look like a prostitute and apparently all the age appropriate costumes for a 3 year were sold out. Back to my roots and dragging out the old sewing machine for us. I’d rather poke a hole in my finger trying to thread the darn thing than wear or haveve my kid wear what’s available.
Hollie says:
I was in a Halloween store the other day eyeing a super cute costume, wondering if it came in my size. I even got out my camera and took a picture bc I was going to send it to my boyfriend with the caption “Wanna play dress up” then to my surprise I realized I was in the “teen” section of the store. I am sure my outloud “WTF” got me all kinds of looks.
hdj says:
I hear you! I have a 10 year old and she wanted to be a pirate. Please explain to me why in the holy hell and 10 YEAR OLD needs to look like some slutty boat wench. The last couple of years we’ve been vampires or other scary things or things that aren’t particularly girly or not anywhere near sexy, so that’s been good.
But the pirate thing – I said no to a couple of the ones she had her eye on and even the one she picked has a midrif top. Really? For 10 and younger? I told her she has to wear a tank top under it. She tried to resist, but I reminded her that there is this thing called a dress code and if she wanted to wear her costume to school she had to or else she had to pick another costume.
Als0 – Annie – ADORABLE! Seriously, I don’t know how you live with such cuteness all day every day.
Meyli says:
Ugh… maybe this is why my mom made my/my sisters’ costumes until we were in High School (and stopped trick-or-treating). Thats scary. But you and Heather are so creative! You could totally make AWESOME costumes for Annie in the future. Way cooler than the ones sold in stores.
Brigid says:
I totally agree. I thought the same thing this past weekend when looking for a costume for my 2 year old girl at Target… thats why we ended up with the same exact one you all have
Alyssa says:
Living in Michigan, there was usually NO way you could go out on halloween without wearing either a coat or a turtleneck under your costume, it was just too cold. Besides that my mother would never let me out of the house in any sort of “sexy” costume at a young age. However what I have seen is quite a few moms take those sexy costumes and add fabric to them or have the kids where a shirt under the costume. That though brings about the question of why should the parents even HAVE to put shirts under the costumes, because in all reality shouldn’t a costume for a 5-6 yr old not be sexy in the first place!?!
aubrey says:
My daughter, age 3, and I went to a children’s carnival yesterday and I saw a child, age 7ish, in that naughty nurse costume. It was horrible! White vinyl minidress that didn’t even cover here matching white panties. There was nothing cute about it. She had the worst costume by far, but I think my child was the only girl there whose costume did not involve a miniskirt. So glad she wanted to be a pumpkin this year. Fingers crossed for next year.
Karen says:
A couple of years ago, my niece had a Halloween Sweet 16 party. My girls were 11 and 14 at the time. I was practically in tears in the costume store because everything was inappropriate. They ended up as a gangster and an M and M. They haven’t dressed up since.