The little girls have been so cute together on this vacation.
a miraculous moment where they were both still
Whenever they are apart, they ask for each other. It’s really cool to see them interacting, talking, figuring each other out.
I said yesterday that the girls follow Danny around like ducklings, and that is still true. We laid it on him hard last night at dinner. “Danny, you know that the girls look up to you. If you’re on your best behavior, they will be, too.” It was like a light went off in his head. “Girls, shhh, it’s dinner, we’re on good behavior!” Self-policing, YES.
When I see all the cousins together, especially the little girls, I can’t help but wonder where Maddie would fit in. Spencer, at seven, wants to be with the adults. That leaves Danny to play with the little girls. If Maddie was here, would she and Danny be off together? Or would they be bossing around the younger two together?
I always have these pangs when the cousins are together, but I think it’s going to hurt the most when we’re on this annual trip. It was the last place they were all together before Maddie died. The timing is always going to put us back here right before the horrible anniversary of her death. Try as I might to make the sun shine, there is always going to be a bit of a shadow over this trip.
When I see the two little girls hugging, it makes me smile and it breaks my heart. They would have loved Maddie.
Night night, Kayla. Hug and kiss you.
She would have loved them so much, too.
Oh gosh When my kids are with their cousins, it is one of the moments I am acutely aware of their fleeting childhood and how lucky we are to have them, the sense of family going forward I guess. I can only imagine how full your heart feels seeing what is, how it’s wonderful, and thinking what could have been xx
They are super cute cousins
Katrina @ They All Call Me Mom says:
It seems as though the sadness and the joy go hand-in-hand so often for you. I’m sorry
Annie looks like she’s having the time of her life! Cousins can be so much fun
Her hair is so gorgeous! Those curls. Very lucky girl.
Annie has Miss America hair in the first picture. Her hair is gorgeous!
I’m so sorry that the best moments are bittersweet. I wondered how hard it is to go back to the same vacation spot, and how hard it would be not to go back, too. I hope the rest of the vacation is filled with many more sweet memories.
She is absolutely breathtaking in that first photo. I had to look a few times. You normally have it pulled up. Stunning! I haven’t lost a child, but at our family get togethers my heart hurts for my mother..I so wish she was there to soak up my kiddos.
I think about this a lot, too–how my Eliza should have fit in with her cousins and with my group of friends, and how everything will always be different than it should have been. Sometimes I think I miss her the most in those happy moments. Sending you love and light as you continue to honor Maddie’s memory and celebrate the beautiful family you’ve created.
Bittersweet moments. Always that what if question. And no answers, but understanding and sharing with you.
Bittersweet moments… but still priceless.
ook at Annie’s hair. Reminds me of my daughter when she was about that age with curly hair and people would literally aske me if I “permed” her hair… really?!
I think Maddie would be hanging with Danny and bossing the 2 little ones around…
I know it hurts & most likely always will as the 2 situations happened so close together!!! I’m sooo sorry!!! Maddie SHOULD be there in the physical, we all think that but she’s not. I do believe with EVERYTHING I have that Maddie is right there in Spirit though!!! I’m sorry you’re hurting. I wish there was something….ANYTHING that would help that sorrow disappear. Sending you cyber hugs!!!
OMG – Look how much taller Annie is than Kayla!!! WOW!!! I love her hair too!!! She is soo precious!!!! Both of your girls are adorable and loved and will be so FOREVER!!! xoxo
Oh, the tears here. I can’t pretend to know the pain & joy that you simultaneously live through every day, but I know that you are amazing and your daughters are just like you.
Sweet pictures of all of the cousins together.
Thinking sweet Maddie and of you all…
I love the pictures of the girls – they are adorable. I agree – they would have loved Maddie. It is all so bittersweet.
I have the same problem with a family trip. You are much braver – I can’t bring myself to go on the family trip since our sons died. Maybe I will one of these days. . .
Sending you peace and hugs. Take care.
Meg L says:
Such cute photos of the little ones especially that first one with Annies hair do great hair that girl!
I feel your pain and am sure the “missing link” will always be visible to you and Mike…I admire how your strength is carrying you through your journey….
gayatri . lifeunordinary says:
cousins are the best part of childhood. love to the girls.
I can’t concentrate on anything you said because my jealousy of Annie’s hair is all-consuming.
Shana in Texas says:
The kids look so cute! Annie looks a lot like you in that first picture. I was always seeing Mike before. Cousins are the best kind of friends. I know this time of year and this trip is hard. But, I think being around your family is the best remedy.
Big huge internet bear hugs, Heather. This is all so hard.
And for what it’s worth, I think Maddie would have been hanging out with Spencer – she was so attached to him in the photos of them together, and she seemed to be so wise beyond her years in her short little life. So yes, I think Spencer and Maddie would have hanging with the adults.