I unfortunately get emails from people every day telling me about the death of a child. I say unfortunately because it’s just awful to know another child is gone and that people are missing him or her terribly. My heart just breaks. I was once that parent writing pleading emails to other grieving mothers, hoping that they would have the magic words to guide me through my pain. Hell, I still send those emails to mamas farther along on this “journey.”
I know how hard it can be to send those emails. It can take up an entire day’s energy trying to put those horrible, indescribable emotions into words. I remember being up at 3am, desperately scouring the internet for words written by someone who’d been in my position of fresh grief.
If you are lost, if you are hurting, if you are struggling to get through one more moment, here is my advice to you:
- Eat everything, or eat nothing.
- Be sure to drink water.
- Don’t take on more than you can handle. This might mean you do nothing. That’s OK.
- If you need to, take each day second by second.
- You’ll feel lonely, even when you’re surrounded by people. This is normal.
- Lay in bed all day, or go for a run. Focus on breathing and putting one foot in front of the other.
- Don’t worry about what people think. No one expects anything from you, I promise.
- Some people may minimize your grief. They do this for one of two reasons. The first is that they don’t understand what you’re going through and are accidentally hurtful. The second is that they themselves are suffering, and by putting down your grief they somehow feel better. Forgive the first people, forget the second.
- Don’t kill yourself. You may want to die, but killing yourself minimizes the life of your loved one.
- Rejoin the world when you’re ready. It will always be there. You won’t understand how the world can possibly keep turning without your loved one. I don’t understand it, either.
- You’ll have survivor’s guilt.
- It’s OK to laugh. It’s OK to cry. It’s OK to not cry. It’s OK to have moments of happiness.
- Resist participating in the grief olympics. Your grief is worse, because it is yours. Their grief is worse, because it is theirs. There are no winners.
- Don’t worry about returning phone calls, or texts, or emails, or thank you notes, or smoke signals. Everyone understands.
- You’ll wish for your “old” life. You’ll desperately want to be the person you were “before.” You can’t be. It sucks (understatement).
- If someone tells you to call them anytime, put their number in your phone. And if you want to call that person at 2am, do it.
- There is NO wrong way to get through. And even saying “get through” is wrong, because it’s not something you go through and then you’re done. You’ll grieve your whole life. But you WILL learn how to function again, sort of like how amputees learn how to maneuver without their missing limbs.
Take this entire list with a grain of salt. No one can tell you how to grieve, even people who are grieving (exception: please don’t kill yourself).
Bampa says:
Don’t tell anyone who’s grieving, ” God works in mysterious ways” or “It’s all part of God’s plan”. They will feel even more forsaken. Never, ever ask them “are you over it yet”? Grief produces no miracles.
Jenn says:
Great Point Bampa. And NEVER tell ANYONE God can love their child more. NO ONE LOVES THEIR BABY MORE THAN THE PARENTS, GRANDPARENTS, ETC….
Eva says:
In line with that, don’t say “God needed him/her more than you” NOBODY needed him more than us.
The worst we heard though, and this was from my sisters pastor while standing over his body just after he died, was “Perhaps this was Gods way of protecting everyone, maybe he was going to grow up to do something awful so this was to keep that from happening.”
Lindsay from Boston says:
Oh my gosh, Eva!!!!! That’s horrific. How DARE anyone say something that cruel?!
Eva says:
Yeah, I can’t even begin to describe how hurt I was by that, but then, I think a lot of times people get tongue tied and say things like that, that sound awful but in their head probably started out like a silver lining kind of thought.
He wasn’t being an intentional douchebag, but he succeeded admirably anyhow.
Kate says:
That’s horrific and cruel, Eva. I’m so sorry for your loss. Hugs.
Kris says:
What an awful thing to say about anyone, let alone a child who has just died. I’m so sorry for your family’s loss.
Cath @ 7 Million Wonders says:
Maybe we can extend this not mentioning God or heaven or any of that, unless you know for a fact that the person is religious? I personally don’t know what I believe about the afterlife, but being reminded of that great question is not always helpful while mourning a loved one.
Pgoodness says:
xoxoxoxoxo
elinor says:
I am reading this as I lay on a pile of my stuff trying to get motivated to pack to fly home from the UK for a visit… not a happy visit, a visit that will be a few days too late to say good bye to a dear friend. So I just wanted to say: this helped
Sue says:
A lesson plan,,,,,,,,,,,,,,where no loved one should ever have to do the homework,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
J+1 says:
Thank you for this, Heather. I wish there were magic words. There aren’t. Everyone grieves in their own way, and all the rest of us can do is make sure we let them, and support them, no matter what.
Aimee says:
One thing that helped me…the hospital social worker told me, no matter how you feel, no matter what you’re doing, even if you are crawling back into bed, take a shower. For me, this helped me feel somewhat normal.
Jenn says:
My dear Heather….today, you save someone. Thank you!!!
Sharyn says:
Graceful and elegant, and it must have taken a superhuman effort to write. Well done.
Margie says:
There is absolutely nothing you can do for people who are grieving except hold their hand, listen when they are talking and hug them. It’s been 35+ years since my mom lost one of her sons and she gets wistful thinking about it and there is nothing I can do but be there for her whenever she wants to talk about it.
deva says:
THANK. YOU.
Amanda C says:
Hi Heather! I was having a rough day yesterday, a lot of thinking about my late daughter, and then I saw this. I passed it along on my Facebook. You always have such a wonderful way of putting things into words, especially regarding these situations.
Thanks for sharing.
Mandie says:
I found this website after my little girl died:
http://www.glowinthewoods.com/ for all babylost parents.
Regards
Mandie
Molly says:
You are so brave.
Mary says:
Heather, I would love for you to write a blog post about What you would have love to hear in that awful time? What should we said, we want to express love but how? What did you love to receive at that time or what you would have love to receive? Thanks for the blog post it helps everyone.
Kris says:
I was thinking the same thing.
Amy Collen says:
This is such a great question, Mary! My beautiful son, Noah, died at 6 days old and looking back at that time (5 years later) I can say this about the people who made a difference…
1. Contact: I had good friends who would e-mail me every few days or so to see how I was doing. Since I couldn’t bring myself to talk to anyone over the phone this was my lifeline.
2. Listening to me: the best thing you can do is to simply listen and to be there.
3. Be the link to others: it is so helpful for that grieving person/family to have others take some of the daily load off them. Contacting folks, helping to handle the kiddos, daily chores, etc. really helps.
4. Food: always always always a comfort
5. Cards and letters: I looked forward to getting the mail every day just knowing that folks were out there thinking of me, my Noah, and my family.
6. Say the child’s name: not “I’m sorry for your loss.” I loved it and still love it when people say Noah’s name. Totally okay.
7. Stay in touch: send cards, e-mails, notes. The family may not get back to you right away but know that your words were cherished.
8. A great ice breaker for sending e-mails is just to say that you are checking in with them and offer some kind words.
Those are just a few things. Hope that helps :).
Heather says:
Hi Mary,
I actually wrote a post like this a year and a half ago: http://thespohrsaremultiplying.com/heather/what-do-you-say/
Hope that helps!
xo
Tammy says:
Wonderful post.
lisaj says:
It breaks my heart that you have the knowledge to address this topic…
My heart breaks for you every single day that I log on to read you humor or wisdom, or thoughts. Every time I see that sweet girl’s face in your feed and know that you are without, I hurt for you.
I am so sorry that you have the ability to give this advice, because of your loss. But I am so grateful that you keep writing, keep sharing, keep going.
You are a beautiful person.
Jessica says:
Oh every word of this is so true and I’m reading it when my grief is so raw once again as the anniversary of my daughter’s death approaches. I remember those early days so well and truly concentrating on putting one foot in front of the other, because it was all I could do. Such an important message Heather but I am so sorry you have to share it.
Mandy says:
The hardest part for me was realizing that somewhere along the line, every minute of every day wasn’t centered on my grief. And that was okay, even good.
Tiara says:
How easy it is to get sucked into the grief Olympics… great insight. Grief is so selfless yet selfish isn’t it? No one could have loved like you loved right? No one could have felt the pain you feel? If they did, how could they possibly be smiling or moving or existing… It’s a unique club that none of us wanted to belong to but once you’re in it, you’re in it – and God knows, we all have pain. A word on not killing yourself… first, thank you for saying it. In the depths of grief, how easy it seems to just give up… when my brother died, my mother’s first instinct was to say this, to want it… in some ways, it hurt just as much as watching him die. As a surviving child… grieving sibling… not only does it cheapen the life of your loved one but it also minimizes your importance to those that love you. Every day is a struggle but it so important to find a reason… the pain never dissipates or lessons… but we learn to live with the new normal, don’t we? We can only keep moving and exist as they would want us too… There is an Annie Lenox song called Cold… it was on the CD that was playing in my brother’s car the day he died. There is a lyric that says, “Dying is easy; it’s living that scares me to death.” I didn’t get it until I mourned. Thanks so much for sharing this, Heather! I hope it was as cathartic to write as it was to read… we had similar thoughts last night, I guess! I wrote a poem about my grief last night on my blog – check it out if you have the time. Lots of love!!
Abby says:
My son died of SIDS a little over two months ago and his first birthday is this Friday. I am in so much pain, I think I might double over and die of agony. Most of the people in my life just don’t get it and are unintentionally so hurtful. But then there are people who do say the “right” things to me. For me, the only thing that rings authentic to me is, “I am so sorry that Max is gone. It isn’t fair that you have to live in this world without him” and variations on that theme. I think about him all day long, I re-live his death every night in my dreams. Anything less than a sincere sadness for my heartbreak feels empty. Nobody can cheer me up and for them to try feels like a slap in my face. This is where I am….if you can’t meet me here, we will have to put a hold on us for now.
Holley says:
Hugs Abby,
I’m so sorry about your son. There are people who understand.
Kristin says:
I hope this helps even at least one person. I’m sure it will.
You may have done this already, and if so, I’m sorry, but do you think you could write something about what others can do for those that are grieving?
Pattie says:
Thank you for writing this, Heather. And for everyone else posting here who has lost a child, my heart goes out to each and every one of you.
Karla says:
What you’ve written is so true. So, so true. I haven’t lost a child in the sense that you have, but I have endured miscarriages. And I lost my adult sister. I know enough to know I can’t imagine what my parents or you and Mike go through every day.
For those of you who are on the outside of grief, I say it’s never too late to send a sympathy card. I lost my sister 10 years ago; if someone sent me a card today, I’d appreciate it as much as I did the day she died.
Tauni says:
This this of how to grieves ties to so much more! I love this! I have been grieving a lot lately. Mine has not been grief of the loss of a loved one but rather completely loss of a world I knew 2 years (or even 1 year) ago. I know it doesn’t compare in so many aspects as to having a close loved one die but then I read this by you:
“Resist participating in the grief olympics. Your grief is worse, because it is yours. Their grief is worse, because it is theirs. There are no winners.”
That is the exact words I have been trying to put my mouth around. Grief is grief. I would tell myself, “ya but you didn’t” or “ya but you could have” and it hasn’t made me feel better. It wasn’t until about a month ago when I realized the words you just said. Thank you for sharing. While I know mine is a completely different trial aka olympics than yours, those words still rang so true!
Bella says:
Beautifully heartfelt. Thank you for your words. Maddie must be so proud of her strong, brave, good mama.
Gia says:
I don’t care if anyone’s proud of you or not, I am so so so proud. Strength is how you are defined. A big hug for you. No words for the post.
Brigid says:
Very well said Heather. Tomorrow would be my daughter’s 4th b-day. It never goes away and you are right… you don’t ever “get through it”. Thanks for sharing!
Madi G. says:
On this point:
“Some people may minimize your grief. They do this for one of two reasons…”
So I would offer a third reason: they don’t *want* it to be as terrible as it is; they want it to be less painful. So you may try to trick yourself and others into believing that.
I know I’ve done this. It sucks to live with that awful, intense grief. I know in one case, I said “she was in constant pain and that’s over now.” and so on.
Granted, this was a situation where we were both grieving. I *wanted* it to be less painful, less debilitating. What better way than to get others to believe the same thing? It validates it for you if others believe it too. And for me, so much of my grief was for my surviving family members. It broke my heart to see my loved ones grieving so deeply. So minimizing it and making it seem “not so bad” would have worked to that end.
In retrospect, I now realize that minimizing it isn’t the solution. But when you’ve got this huge weight on their shoulders, you want it to be lessened. You don’t want to see your loved ones hurting and you don’t want to experience all this grief either. I *wanted* to minimize it; to make it less painful.
Didn’t work, by the way. But it seemed like a good idea at the time. *shrug*
I certainly understood what they were feeling — I was feeling it too as I was in the same boat, so reason 1 doesn’t really work.
And I don’t feel like I was putting down their grief and benefiting from it, so reason 2 doesn’t really fit either.
Certainly, *I* wanted to minimize it for myself too, thinking that this would somehow make the hurt stop. But more than anything, I wanted the hurt to stop for them. More than anything, I wanted the hurt to stop for them.
-Madi
Funsize says:
Thank you for this post. I’m a little bit farther on this “journey” but I know this will definitely help others who are new on this path.
xo
Holley says:
Yes this is it exactly. I’m sorry you lost Maddie and have this knowledge, but thank you for sharing it.
Dee Dee says:
My heart always hurts for you Heather…big hugs to you! One thing I say people should NEVER say to someone who is grieving…”God will never give you more than you can handle”…
mccgoods says:
Thank you I needed this today.
Dawn @What's Around the Next Bend? says:
Heather,
You are an AMAZING woman! I am continually blessed by how you and Mike have put one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward. You are a true inspiration to us all.
Mommy says:
Love to you and your family. I’m so sorry that you don’t have your sweet Maddie with you.
amourningmom says:
Thank you for this post Heather. I am farther along this journey with my first son but not quite so far with my 3rd son. I have searched for those magic words and I know they do not exist but I do well with lists. So thank you again for this one. Take care.
Ray says:
“Don’t kill yourself. You may want to die, but killing yourself minimizes the life of your loved one.”
That’s very profound.
You’re such a STRONG and BEAUTIFUL person for giving other’s guidance through their grievance, when you are going through yours.
I have a question however: "What about a different kind of grieving? What about a death you want to forget?"
Over three years ago: A crush of mines was shot. I (literally) barely knew the guy. Still. I liked him (for a long time) and I continue to mourn him to this day. I, however, know that it is not normal to mourn someone I barely knew. I want to stop mourning him. To stop grieving (in my own way. Secretly). To say goodbye. To go on without thinking about him almost everyday.
I know that sounds harsh, and that I will always want him. But that's just the thing…I want to stop. I want to be normal. And saying, "Goodbye" to him is the only way.
I just don't know how.
I, of course, am so sorry about Maddie.
She LIVES on in YOU, MIKE, ANNABEL, BAMPA and the rest of your FAMILY!
Always.
<3<3<3<3
Jay says:
I remember feeling this way and asking these kinds of questions. It’s an odd kind of grief, because you didn’t really lose anything, or at least it appears that way to others. For me, it was a deeper issue making me feel such despair over something that other people told me was not worth being so upset about for so long (and logically I agreed with them, though it didn’t change my feelings). I finally saw a therapist and we dug it up together. It was very hard, and still is.
I spent a long time trying to find the answer online. I never did, because I was asking all the wrong questions and looking in the wrong places. I don’t know what your real questions are, but I don’t believe you will find answers here, though of course reading Heather’s wonderful posts on love and grief can still be helpful and comforting. Good luck.
Ray says:
Thank you for your kindness. And I am sorry for your loss.
I guess what I am looking for is Validation, but only God can give me that (and He has). However, it’s still hard…and I imagine it will be for a long, long time.
Trisha says:
You have taught me so much Heather! Thank you!
Nicole says:
Thank you, thank you, thank you.