I spent the last four days squeezing out the last bit of summer with my kids. Annie and I went on a fun road trip to San Francisco, and then when we came back we met up with my mom and James and spent a day at Disneyland. The rest of our summer (only a week left!) will be spent prepping for school – doctor visits, eye exams, haircuts, clothing shopping, etc. So long, summer, we hardly knew ye.
As the breaking news alerts from Charlottesville started to light up my phone, I had to make the decision to put it on my back burner. This is, of course, my privilege as a cis white woman. So many people in this country don’t get to choose to focus on fun adventures with their children instead of systematic racism and LITERAL FREAKING NAZIS.
I returned home yesterday and was up most of the night reading articles and watching speeches and documentaries. I am repulsed by what I saw. I am disgusted that ANYONE could believe or imply that there are “good” white supremacists. I am stunned that anyone would say Heather Heyer’s death was justified. I am awestruck by the bravery of her parents.
Hatred and bigotry have no place in this country. What is happening to us?
I am not going to stand by and let my children or anyone else’s grow up like this. If we don’t all say ENOUGH, then I fear there will soon be no turning back.
This is not okay, and those who are silent are complicit.
“We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented.”
~ Elie Wiesel
I will not be silent.
Brooke says:
Thank you for showing us some love. I’ve lived in Charlottesville for 3 years as of today but have lived within an hour of this perfect city all my life. It’s been my home since the day I moved in. We’re broken but resilient. We will not let the the digusting white supremacists to taint our outlook on life and the way we live and thrive here every day together. They will never take our spirit.
Chris says:
Terrifying isn’t it? To see this happening in our country, in our lifetimes? No words.
Megan says:
Heather, I live in Charlottesville as well, and I really appreciate you posting this. I also attended Virginia Tech (class of ’05). It’s really surreal to see my little hamlets at the top of the national news, but the outpouring of Cville love feels like what we experienced for VT 10 years ago.
I know you know all this already, but for the record, I was following the “fake news” and many local Twitter accounts Saturday, and the “alt left” violence that President Trump described just wasn’t happening. But we’re not going to just sit back and let Nazis take over our city. I stayed home Saturday; I had to because I had to be available for work. But I’m done staying home.
Lindsay says:
I am disgusted, appalled, horrified.
And at a loss.
What do we DO?
It feels ridiculous to be going about my day-to-day life while neo-Nazis and KKK members are walking the streets unhooded. While a morally bankrupt, bigoted, hateful, evil shell of a man sits in the Oval Office.
The young people with whom I work – they are the targets of this unmitigated hate.
I can love them, create with them, hug them, listen to their fears and cries over this administration … but I don’t know how to stop or even dent the hate and vitriol on display against them.
What the fuck do we DO?!?!
Leah says:
Thanks for speaking out. It is truly horrific, and I profoundly hope you will prompt some readers who may be inclined to disagree to think again.
Katrina says:
I have to admit, I am having a hard time referring to myself as “white privilege” because the term just sounds like a yucky person. It sounds like a person who is spoiled. It sounds like a person who thinks they are somehow better than others because of the color of her skin. And I have a hard time seeing myself as those things. When people say, “Oh, you are white privilege” it feels like an insult. It feels like a put down. Maybe it’s not meant to be, but it does feel like that sometimes, especially when it is said in a certain tone of voice. I am a good person and I love all people, all races, all colors and all sexual orientations. I don’t feel like I am “privilege” anything. Heather, and all others who see themselves as “white privilege” or who do not mind being called that, please explain it to me. Does it mean that because of the color of our skin we don’t have empathy for those who are of color who are discriminated against? or does it mean that we just don’t “get it” because we don’t go through what they do? Am I “able-bodied privilege” because I do not know what it feels like to be paralyzed from the waist down? Am I “intelligent privilege” because I don’t know what it’s like to be mentally challenged? Am I “chromosome privilege” because I don’t know what it’s like to live with Down syndrome? Am I “fertility privilege” because I have ten children and there are those who cannot conceive? What makes a person privileged? Is it the not understanding part? Is it the never having to have to fight for rights part? I have never had to fight for equal rights for handicapped people, so then I’m “able-bodied privilege”. — I guess I’m a lot of “privilege” titles. I don’t like being labeled. No one does. But let me tell you, aside from all of that, I am so sadden to see our country being divided like this. I feel we are being set back 60 years in time. And I know there are many Trump haters, but to be fair, the divide just didn’t start on January 20, 2017. The racial tension didn’t start then. It’s been building for a while now. I feel the media really plays a part. It highlights certain parts and doesn’t cover other parts. It flames the fire. Someone is trying really hard to divide our country, to pit us against each other. A country divided is easier to conquer. We need to remember that. And what happened in Charlottesville is truly disgusting. I understand our right for free speech, but I feel there should be limits to it. Like, no “hate” gatherings. The KKK has always been about hate and nothing more. White supremacy is such a joke. It’s common sense that no race is “superior” to another. Why the KKK is allowed to gather publicly is beyond me. And that goes for ANY group that hates a certain race, religion, or sexual orientation. They should never be allowed to gather in a public place and preach the hate. Never.
Heather says:
I had a really hard time with the term “white privilege” at first, because it wasn’t something I wanted, and I definitely didn’t understand it. It’s not something that you or I created, but we benefit from it nonetheless – usually without even realizing it. It doesn’t mean that we don’t have empathy for others, just that things are “easier” for us because of the color of our skin. It’s something that I am trying to be more aware of every day. But I don’t know if I would say white privilege is a label as much as it’s a system that gives us an advantage over people of color.
I think you do raise an interesting point re: other privileges. I think fertility might apply the most closely because most women don’t give their fertility a second thought. We take it for granted that we’ll be able to have babies whenever we want. And I think that a lot of white people take for granted that they’ll be given the benefit of the doubt, that law enforcement will treat them fairly, etc. And I’m probably (definitely) doing a terrible job of explaining it!
I also totally agree with you that none of this started in January. It’s been bubbling under the surface for a long, long time.
Katrina says:
Thank you for your thoughts on the matter. I think you did a great job explaining
Ela says:
I am sitting here in Germany, watching what’s happening and I am so sad, shocked, angry, frustrated – that we are still standing where we are standing in the year 2017.
We could be the generation that solves the problems we as humans have caused. Finally spreading love instead of hate, respect and love diversity, treating people and countries and our nature with respect, giving back what we as white priviliged people have stolen from less privileged.
Instead people want to turn the clock backwards as if history hasn’t thaught them anything.
I am disgusted.
And it’s not just an american problem. Its spreading all over europe, too. I am with you: What is happening?
Thank you for your post heather. And thank you for not being silent. I feel this very strong obligation to not be silent, too.
We can not just watch this happening.
Im sending an extra portion of love to you, your loved ones and all the ppl reading and feeling the need for love.
xo from Germany
Stephanie B. says:
As someone said this week, these people used to hide themselves under hoods. Now they’re out in the open. It’s horrifying. I can’t believe the whataboutism I’m seeing everywhere, including from our President. It’s disgusting.
Hate is learned. It’s not inherent. We can’t be silent in the face of hatred.
Auntie_M says:
Preach the truth sister!
Lisa F. says:
Amen to that!
twingles says:
The men who served in WWII, must be rolling in their graves right now, they sacrificed so much for this to happen, on our soil?? It’s unreal. And while I wasn’t crying in my Cheerios when Trump was elected, this has felt like the longest 7 months in history.
Toni says:
ABSOLUTELY – IT IS NOT OKAY!!!! It’s appalling what is going on in our country right now.
Lisa says:
I went to the Phoenix protest, silent no more!!!!