One of the most frequently asked questions I receive is “do you read all your comments?” The answer is yes. Every single one gets emailed to me. I like reading them that way because then I recognize email addresses and blog urls. I know who my regular commenters are and it makes me feel like everyone lives down the street instead of around the world.
In the days after Maddie died, I had to stop having my comments emailed to me. It was too much, too many emails, too many emotions. I shut out everything and just sat on my couch while the world spun around me. The first few weeks of comments after April 7th were unread by me.
With the nastiness my family has been dealing with these last few days, I needed reassurance that there were good people out there. So I started to go through the comments from those first few weeks, working my way backwards until I finally arrived at the post Meghan put up for me on April 7th. The only post on my blog I’ve never read.
I took a deep breath, and I started reading.
As the tears rolled down my face, I felt hideous grief. I imagined how my friends and family must have felt when they received the news about Madeline. I imagined how Meghan must have felt relaying the news. And I imagined the shock my readers felt, the readers that had supported us through every hospital stay.
When I reached the comments, I kept crying, but the tears became ones of gratitude. So many people wrote of their devastation, of their own sadness and grief. I knew that there were so many people that cared, but reading reactions…it really drove it home. All I want for my children is to love and be loved. Maddie is loved.
That love…that support…it wouldn’t have been there if I hadn’t shared my family’s life. It wouldn’t have been there if I hadn’t shown pictures of my daughter. Pictures are how you connect with a story. That’s why newspapers have images, why we have television and movies instead of just the radio. Pictures entertain, they improve a narrative, they DO speak a thousand words.
If my family hadn’t had that support, I don’t know where we’d be. It wouldn’t be a good place.
There are sick and disgusting people out there, but the good and loving people conquer all. They (you) are why I didn’t throw out the baby with the bathwater. As long as there are good, kind people reading about my little family, I’m still going to share our life.
And our pictures.
Kate @ UpsideBackwards says:
Thank you, Heather. It’s a privilege to read about your life, and see your awesome photos of your beautiful family. And it’s lovely to know you think of us as being close to you in some way.
Love and hugs to you.
Karla says:
I agree. It is a privelege to read about your life and I appreciate how open you are on your blog.
Malou's Mama says:
Good for you.
It is amazing to think how many people love and remember your Maddie, and I’m glad knowing that helps you just a little bit.
Your honesty also helps others, of that I am sure.
xo
Annie Y says:
Maddie is loved.
Annie is loved.
You and Mike are loved.
Thank you for sharing your family with us.
Lisa says:
Me and Malou’s Mama got the same thought.
Good for you.
Krystal says:
Heather,
Thank you for sharing your lives with us! My boys (ages 3 & 5) love seeing the pic you tweet of Annie!
I always tell myself, “the sweet isn’t as sweet without the sour”. Its a line Tome Cruise says in the movie “Vanilla Sky”. Tom is my least favorite actor (scratch that I love Top Gun and Cocktail) but that line has stayed with me. I feel like it holds true to life.
I enjoy reading about your life, your family, everything! There are good people out here. I’m sorry you have to deal with the nastiness in the world.
(((HUGS)))
Krystal
tapthatmom.com
Alice says:
Maddie is so, so, so loved, as are you and Mike. But never forget that Annie is very loved by all of us as well. I doubt there’s a single regular reader of your blog who didn’t shed a tear when you announced you were pregnant, or when she was born. She brought hope back into your life and lit up our screens. We love her very much!
Thank you for continuing to share.
Veronika says:
You are amazing Heather! Amazing!
I feel so priviledged to share in your life and to see your beautiful Annie grow. I’m going to share something with you and I hope you don’t take offense.
When April 7 rolled around this year, I was a mess. Which is so odd, because I never met Maddie and you don’t even know who I am. I’d be walking with my family in the store and start sobbing and my husband wouldn’t even ask questions, he knew I couldn’t make sense of Maddie being gone from the world. I’m very private about my online life and don’t share the sites I visit with my friends. About a week later, I shared your site with my best friend, who doesn’t have any children and through the tears and sobs I told her who Maddie is and what happened. She said that you could see Maddie wasn’t well. I couldn’t help it, I opened a can on her. I told her there was nothing wrong with Maddie and that it was hugely offensive to look at such a beautiful child and see flaws. It might be a silly story, but I share it to tell you that your family means so much to so many people, many who you will probably never know. {{ hugs }}
Susan says:
I’m pretty private about my life in general, both online and the real parts, but I shared Maddie’s story with someone I trusted. They respected your powerful spirit and how you handled raising a preemie, even though they themselves never had that experience. Once I showed them a picture of Maddie, the first thing they gasped was, “My God, she’s beautiful. Look at those eyebrows and those blue eyes!” They remarked about her smile, and how bright and positive she looked. I remembered that moment because it stuck with me how a picture of that little girl had an impact like that. She is a memorable, lovely child.
Myself and the people I tell about your blog were overjoyed to hear about Annie, and comment about how she looks so happy and so cute in her photos.
Once again, thank you for sharing your story and pictures with us. If comments help you and your loved ones feel better, than I’m all the more glad you created this blog.
Trina says:
After reading this post I went back and read some of the comments that were left for your family on April 7th. It is so reassuring to know that so many people can be so genuinely supportive and kind, and it just goes to show how much you mean to your readers. You really have touched so many of us through your blog, and Im glad that those comments can bring you a bit of comfort. Im sure I’ve said it before, but thank you for sharing with us. You, Mike and your girls bring us comfort and happiness on a regular basis.
Sally says:
I don’t comment nearly as much as I used to, because like you I am now busy with a baby born after horrible loss (my son Angus is a couple of months older than your Annie and we lost our first born daughter Hope in August 2008) but I wanted to stop and say how lovely this post was and that even though I’m quiet these days, I read your posts every night (they always come through in the evening here in Australia!) and always rejoice in the gorgeous pics of Annie. She looks cheeky like my Angus!
Sending love to you and your family. Keep writing.
xo
catherine lucas says:
Good on You Heather to continue what you do the way you do and how you do it. We can all take an example on you.
I so recognize the support angle, yes, we do get a lot of support from our online friends, and one some days, it’s so good to have groupies as I call them. I love mine…
I am glad that you do find some comfort in our words and thoughts.
We learn from it, learning about Maddie truly has enriched my life greatly!
Cilla says:
Hi Heather, I have been silently following your blog since the beginning of the year when I chanced upon it via another blog (can’t remember which). I find myself going back often to your archives just to look at Maddie’s pictures. She’s wonderful to look at. I can only imagine the deep sense of loss and grief both you and Mike feel. Even I was moved to tears by some of your posts.
Take comfort in knowing that Maddie received so much love and happiness in her life. Even up till now. It is scant comfort for losing a child but Maddie lived a much fuller life in her 17 months than many people in their 17 (or even 70) years.
Annabel is totally adorable. She is so chubby! What do you feed her? She’s got that totally cheeky look!
Heather says:
I’ve read your blog every day, since I heard about Maddie’s passing. I have laughed and cried along with you since then. I start my morning with you each day.
Thank you for sharing your life with us!
Noelle says:
I’ve read every single post you’ve written and I feel so honored to be part of your journey. I’ve shed many, many tears for your beautiful Maddie. She touched my heart in a way I can never explain. And you, Heather? I’ve healed some of my own grief through your courage and strength at sharing yours. Now my 5 year-old daughter and I are enjoying Annie’s adventures (in fact, she said it’s too bad she’s not a baby herself or she would have liked to be the Amazing Annabelf for Halloween
Big hugs to you all xo
Lynn from For Love or Funny says:
This internet world can be a really strange place, but all I know is that I’m glad to be part of your world-wide family.
pgoodness says:
The simple connection is why I am teary at reading about you crying. Meghan is an extraordinary friend and I was thankful that she kept us all updated. I was scared that you wouldn’t come back after the horrible loss of Maddie and so thankful that you did. You could probably post the phone book pages and people would still come here to support you, to check on you, to remember (um, but yeah, the phone book is really boring and we’d rather hear about your memories and new adventures! hehe)
Jen says:
It is strange how connected we all become via the internet. We laugh, cry, support and debate all in the name of friendship and love. Always remember how much you are loved by everyone!
Kim says:
Beautifully said, as usual. Thank you for sharing your life with us, all of it. You have helped me more than you will ever know. Xoxo
CarrieB says:
And you do so with our support, Heather.
“You have to love good more than you hate evil”.
xx
Vickie Couturier says:
I dont always post a note,but read your blog everyday,After Maddie passed,I stood in Church an told your story an requested prayer for your family,you are so right,there are more “nice” people here for you than the rotten ones,im glad youve decieded to keep sharing with us about your beautiful family,Thank you sweetie!
Chantel says:
I read your blog every day (sometimes multiple times per day). I even have Annie’s birth announcement on my fridge and my children know exactly who she is!
I feel like the neighbor who hears everything through a shared wall but doesn’t have the courage to introduce myself because I fear that I would be imposing. Now I know that it’s more like passing in the hall, with a shared smile or a brush of fingertips on those difficult days.
Thank you for sharing your life, your world, with all of us. My life would be less without your family in it.
Kendra says:
I don’t comment here often, but I read everyday. I’m so glad you’re keeping photos here. I htik love is always needed to overcome the scary things in the world.
Jennifer Joyner says:
I am so glad you decided not to let the evil of others stop you from sharing your family’s story. I have seen so many pictures and videos of Maddie, I feel as though I knew her, and I am so grateful. And getting to know Annie and how she is helping you and your husband heal, albiet slowly, has been a great pleasure. Can I just say….y’all make some pretty babies!! And I wouldn’t be able to say that had you not shared your photos.
Sue says:
Your blog is the very first one that I go to each and every morning, Heather. Many, many times it leaves me with tears streaming down my face, but the Friday videos make me laugh out loud, along with being amazed at how talented you & Mike are!!!! It’s sad that the world isn’t as carefree as it once was when I was growing up, but we just have to know that lots of vicious people are out there now, and try to protect ourselves, from them, the very best that we can. You & your entire family are so loved by all of the “good people”, and we appreciate you so much for sharing your lives with all of us!!!!
amanda says:
It’s so overused, but the idea of a tapestry and the bits and lengths of fabrics and ribbons you’ve got, some of us on the east coast, some close to the equator, others bringing reflective bits of mirror that give glimpses into their life…you’ve given everyone the opportunity for a new place, a new home to identify, share and take comfort in. All for what you’ve given. I am so relieved that you are finding the beauty and worth in what you’ve done so generously.
Also, I am tempted to delete the equator part because I am like one of the stupid people on Jay Leno and have no idea what it really near the equator….and should I have capitalized it? Am I spelling it right? Gah.
Carry on.
xo
Al_Pal says:
It has been awhile since I’ve had/made time for ANY blog-reading, but I saw this RT’d tonight & came to look. Lovely. I think of you all, often.
Nearly every time I’ve painted my toenails since Maddie left, I’ve done some shade of purple in her honor. (One time, I went a little lighter, to raspberry.)
Before Maddie, I almost always went for silver. ;p
It really is wonderful, the connections. I’ve enjoyed meeting many bloggers, and getting to spend some time with you a year ago was really special. *hugs*
Amanda Parsons says:
Heather,
Sadly I didn’t find out about your blog until news spread about sweet Maddie. I have read your blog daily since. I was disgusted to read the blog yesterday but it made me take a closer look at my own Facebook account and deleted a bunch of my kids pictures. I think your such a strong woman. I know the saying of “We don’t know how strong we are till we HAVE to be” But girl your one strong lady! I am so happy that you have kept sharing your ups and downs with us. I feel like each day I am checking in on a dear friend. Everyday my kids 9 and 10 ask if there is a new Annie movie lol. You brighten our day!
Lisa says:
People really are much more good than bad. It helps to remember that, I think. While there is evil, living a life trying to avoid bad is no life at all. You have such a gift to share. Thank you for choosing to continue.
Deer Baby says:
Like many, I read you every day. I’m in the UK and you are really the reason I got into blogging. There was a piece in the UK Times about how the internet had rallied round one blogger after the death of her baby and I followed the link and of course it was you. I then read just about every single post in your archives and fell in love with that beautiful face that is Maddie and have been following you ever since. I cried tears of joy when you got pregnant with Annabel. Your story has touched millions and the work you do with Friends of Maddie is an inspiration.
I do believe that the ‘good’ people outweigh the bad and I’m so sorry that some of them get through and say mean things or worse. I’m so glad that you are continuing to share your family’s story with us.
Roberta says:
I start each day “checking in” on you and your beautiful family. Thank you for sharing your family with us.
diana says:
Hello, Heather and Mike!
I think I commented only once or twice before, but I feel the urge to do so now.
The way you live your life, as seen from here, in front of my computer, is genuine and full of dignity. And a lot of other nice things, but my vocabulary in English is not that large.
I want to write about the idiotic comments about Maddie’s appearance.
Have I not seen before premature children, maybe I would have not known. But as in my family there’s an almost 8 year-old who has been born at 27 weeks, I know better. I know how the struggle to hold for life is wearing their features, how every breath is paid also with some of their innocence, how they work twice, or ten times more to achieve things that come naturally to full terms. I SEE HOW BEAUTIFUL MADDIE IS! The twinkle in her eyes is the most precious thing I’ve ever seen; it says that life is worth everything; her smile says that there’s no such thing as a too high price for life. And you know what? Was she to reach adulthood, she’d been a very beautiful woman. She had the face shape, the eyelashes, the smile, and the harmony beauty has.
tonya says:
This blog is my morning coffee. My alarm goes off at six, I go give my girls their ten minute wake up warning, and I crawl back in bed and check on the Spohrs. I typically have blog ADD, and only a few stand the test of time with me, but yours has. I find myself referring to you in my daily life as if you are right here in Small Town TN along with me. And sometimes I feel like a dork because of that, but that’s ok! I told my brother his monthly pictures of his brand new daughter need to include the same stuffed animal, like Annie’s do. He redid the first month’s set immediately, loving the idea. I refer to “Heather’s Maddie” since my best friend has a Maddie as well. I could go on and on, but the point is your beautiful family IS a part of my REAL life, and I thank you for that. Finally, and perhaps most importantly, your daily post is my daily reminder to pray for your family, and I believe in the power of prayer. Thank you for opening yourself up and sharing your family with the world.
Suzanne says:
The first blog I read from your site was the one Meghan posted. I saw a post on Facebook from a friend who reads Mike’s blog which read, “My heart is breaking for the Spohrs tonight.” My heart broke too. I spent hours reading back through months of your blogs “meeting” Maddie, you and Mike. I haven’t missed a day since. I don’t know you, but I feel like I do. I sit at my desk day in and day out reading your posts, laughing and crying. I’m sure my coworkers think I’m nuts! My kids also enjoy Annie’s videos! My two year old daughter loves watching the “funny baby”. You and your family have touched my life in so many ways, as I am sure you have done for countless others. I am glad that you have found comfort and support in your readers, but I also wanted to thank you, for sharing your life and giving hope to many. You are inspiring!
Claire says:
Maddy is loved for sure and so are you, Mike and Annie! You have shared so much with the world…for us to share our love back is just easy. Your blog is the first thing I read i the morning. You all have become part of my life and I am so thankful!
maria says:
Well since you say so…. [that you read all replies!]
I read your blog frequently but rarely leave a comment. I just wanted to let you know that while i love looking at the pictures which accompany your posts, rest assured that I would continue to frequent your blog just because I think you’re cool and funny, even if you stopped including them.
Btw, i also right clicked by accident just so you know!
Desiree says:
I too am a dailt reader to your blog but I rarely comment. I love hearing about your daughters and how life is for you. I thank you for sharing and look foward to you continueing to do so.
Colleen says:
I am glad that you do! Thank-you.
Jenn says:
Thank you Heather….we do care for your whole family and knowing the girls on such a personal level, well, it feels like we’ve know them all their lives (well, we HAVE known Annie since her birth). I know for me, I can’t help but look at the pictures, videos and read the posts and think…how lucky we are!
Ellie says:
I’ve never commented before. I’ve almost commented day after day, but I never had anything to say that I felt was “useful.”
Today, though, I feel like I need to say thank you. Your website is one of the first things I check in the morning. I love reading about your family, your beautiful girls, and your adventures. Even when your posts break my heart, I feel like they break me open to remember to love my boys just a little more.
Missy says:
Heather, yours is the first blog I read. every. day. It’s been so long, I don’t even remember how I met you, Mike, Maddie & Rigby. On Maddie’s good days, I laughed right along with you and was so jeal of the awesome pictures you took. When Maddie was sick, I prayed for her. And for you. Mom’s need prayer too when the little one’s are feeling puny. The few times you talked about the marital struggles you & Mike faced made you seem so real, so like the girl next door. (Even though you live in sunny CA and at the time I was stuck in the middle of corn & bean fields.) Right along with ya I was pissed at the docs who didn’t seem human when they were trying to save Maddie in the ER. Pissed too at the jerk in England who was using Annie’s picture for jollies. Each & every time I could have posted a comment to show you my shoulder was here for the leaning. But I thought, “Gee, Missy. Heather is a CELEBRITY! Don’t waste her space with your little comments.” But now? If you really want me to, I’ll give you a slap on the back when you’ve made me laugh and offer to stalk the next idiot who leers at your babies. Thanks, Heather, for what you’ve given ME…..a friend. Maybe to most an imaginary grown-up friend when I talk about you to my work buddies & they’re like, “How do you KNOW this woman?”, but a friend nevertheless.
Mary Ann says:
I know it sounds strange to love someone you never even met, but through reading your blog that is exactly how I feel about your family. I cried when I read about Maddie, and think about her often on those “anniversary days”. I was thrilled and scared when I read that post announcing your pregnancy with Annabel. I couldn’t stop sobbing seeing that I’m going to be a big sister shirt next to Maddie’s urn, it still brings tears to my eyes when I think of it. I am secretly so happy that you decided to continue with your blog. I start my morning with clicking on it before work along with checking my emails. I love watching Annabel grow, your daughters smiles make me smile. I once read that you are never truely gone as long as someone keeps your memory in their heart…Maddie will alwlays remain in mine.
Tammy says:
Heather,
You have such a healthy, clear way of looking at things. I don’t know how you do it. It’s so impressive.
I know that i appreciate the posts and the pictures. They are what made me fall in love with both Maddie and Annabelle (ok, Rigby too.)
I love that you don’t let the creeps in the world pull you down.
Tammy
Lisa says:
I first heard of Maddie on the 7th of April. I went back and read all about her, and even though she is gone from this earth, I fell in love with her (as I have Annie… oh heck, Rigby too).
My heart broke the other day when you said you’d stop posting pictures, Annie makes me smile so! I’m so glad your sticking it to them!
Elizabeth says:
I read your blog every morning on the way to work. I first found your site a few days after Maddie passed. The first blog entry I read was your speech at Maddie’s funeral. The speech just touched me in a way I can’t explain; especially the “she was going to be a Delta Gamma”. Maybe because I’m a DG and I have the same dream for my daughter? But knowing Maddie and your family has changed my life and I am so grateful. Ever thought about going to DG convention? It’s close to me next year
AmazingGreis says:
Thank you for continuing to share your family with all of us. I wish I lived closer so we could hang out more often.
Stef says:
Heather…I am so glad that this is the decision you have made. You are right, we cannot stop living happy and meaningful lives just because there are a few rotten apples out there watching us. It’s a monumental milestone in life when one decides to stay the course in spite of horrible driving conditions and impending storms. Your blog is wonderful. Thank you for sharing yourself with us.
Fiona says:
Hi
I was so disgusted by what had happened to you that I just couldn’t think of anything adequate to say yesterday. I still can’t think of anything adequate to demonstrate how appalled I am. I live in constant fear of these people. For no particular reason other than the fact I know they exist I always worry someone will break into my baby’s nursery and harm her or steal her. For you these normal fears have become a reality. I feel so terrible for you.
I am so glad that you have decided to carry on sharing. I await your blog every morning when I wake up. I have read every single post. I love it.
So sorry that your family was violated in this way. It is a reminder to us all to never allow ourselves to be complacent.
Much love,
Fiona
Becky says:
Well, since you read every comment, know this: You and your family are loved and adored by ALL of us. Even if we don’t really know you… and even if we feel like we totally do. I laugh with you, I cry with you – you’re totally better than Cats.
keri says:
Heather, I read every day. Thank you for sharing your live and your girls. You’re an inspiration.
Jen says:
Heather,
I had *literally* found your blog just days before Maddie got so sick. It was a post about ice cream, I think.
I read and read that day, just drinking in the story of Maddie and how much you and Mike loved her.
I was shocked as hell (sorry, Mom) to read Meghan’s post. And deeply saddened for you more than I can express.
I think that I can catch a glimpse of what my parents went through at age 20 in the early days of my living on Earth…the uncertainty, the fear, the love…through all the posts about Maddie. I’ve felt an attachment to you (and her) that I can’t express and I don’t know why…I just run with it.
Thanks for letting me (continue to) share in your life, even from a distance… the good, the bad and the hideous. It means more to me than you will ever know.
(((Hugs))) from here!
Jen says:
This is my first time commenting on your blog. Since you say you read them all, here it goes
I found your blog several months after Maddie passed, when you were already well into your pregnancy with Annie. I feel like I’ve “caught up” on a lot by reading your archives, and also by ready every. single. post. you link back to in your more recent posts.
Even though I didn’t know of Maddie until after she was gone, I still love her the way only a stranger who was never lucky enough to meet her can. Her spirit and personality leap off the screen in every picture you’ve ever posted of her. I’m sure hearing this will mean a lot to you, but that’s not why I’m saying it…I’m saying it because it’s the God-honest truth: that little girl has touched so many lives and inspired so many hearts to love a little harder than we would have had she not come into this world and had you not shared so much of her with us in this blog. The loss you’ve suffered is unspeakable and something I can’t wrap my mind around, but the fact that you’re willing to share so much of yourself and your family speaks VOLUMES of what kind of people you and Mike are. You could have very easily – and had every right to – simply retreat into anonymity and silence after Maddie. Instead, you come back here every single day and share everything – the good, the bad, and the ugly. I’m sure having this outlet has its benefits for you personally and I know you don’t do it only for us, your readers. But whatever your reasons are, you make all our lives so much better.
I have a little girl – Emma – born in December 2009. Watching Annie grow up in your blog has been such a joy to me. I get soooo freaking excited every time you pop up in my Google Reader (which luckily for me is almost every day), and even my husband gets excited when I tell him “Those people on the Internet posted another hilarious video of their baby and their dog talking in funny voices! Come watch!” I adore the Amazing Annabel (and by that I am referring to the regular old Annie, not necessarily her Hollywood persona). I love seeing what she’s up to and how similar the stages are that she and my daughter are going through at the same exact time. Certain posts make me literally laugh out loud and think, “That’s soooooo Emma.”
I think this has turned way too long and rambling, but in a nutshell, I just want to say – THANK YOU for sharing every word and picture that you share with us. It means more than I think you’ll ever understand.
Lora says:
I am also grateful that you continue to share your family with us. Maddie has impacted my life as a parent greatly. And my boys would have been heartbroken at the idea of no more silly Annabel videos, lol! (whos kidding, I would have been too, they are about the funniest thing ever on the entire internet!)
Marianne says:
I still remember exactly where I was and what I was doing when I read that post from Meghan. I actually screamed out loud. I was hugely pregnant myself and putting on blush at my desk. I’m so glad you aren’t letting the perversions of one sick person keep you from sharing your beautiful family with us. xo
Jen says:
When I was first told about your blog I read the first few newer entries and then when to the one on April 7th. I wanted to know your story and to know what happened. I was a new mom at the time and it broke my heart to read what happened to maddie. How terribly unfair it was to read how a mother and father lost their child. I cried as I read that post and several others. I was SO excited for you when you announced that you were expecting again and I read every day to keep up with what was going on with you. I live in Ma so by the time I read your post it’s morning here. I read your blog every day with my breakfast and I love hearing your stories, watching your videos and learning new things. Annie is just adorable and I am so happy that she’s been such a joy for you! I am sorry to hear you have had some hard stuff going on recently. There really are some sickos out there. I am proud of you for not allowing it to get to you and for you to continue to tell your story.
Keep up the great work and thank you!
Jen
Hamlet's Mistress says:
I’m so glad you’ve chosen not to let them win. Because like 99.999999998% of your readers… I’ve been completely sucked in to your life and I would feel an actual loss if that went away. So thank you.
HM
Deborah says:
We love you! I’m so happy that I found your blog and got to know Maddie and your family in the small way that I do. Every morning when I sit down in my cubicle, I check your blog. It’s become quite a tradition! Thank you so much for sharing your life with me: I think I’m a better person because of it.
(((hugs)))
Hazel says:
Hey Heather! I just wanted to say that I became a new reader after seeing a headline about Maddie’s passing on msn.com. I never followed any blogs before and didn’t really know what they even were. After reading that post that your friend wrote, I felt a strong desire to know who Maddie was so I read the archived posts. It was so evident in your posts that you were the happiest mom on earth and that you didn’t take Maddie’s love for granted because you were always aware of the fragility of her life before she was even born. Your writing is amazing! I relate to you on lots things as we are almost the same age and have a few other things in common. My kids and I love to watch your silly videos. I want to thank you for sharing so much with us because it really does impact my spirits in a meaningful way! I love that good things are happening for you through your blog’s popularity. If you decided to not post pics, I would still follow your blog since your voice is full of reflection, silliness, vulnerability, and hope. You have a wonderful way with words. I bet you would make an amazing author. Perhaps a series for children with a heroines by the name of Maddie and Annie? Either way, I am sorry the beautiful images of your children were violated. I am glad that it was brought to your attention since it is a scary world in which we live and there are predators that are capable of horrid acts. We as parents must be aware of the risks and provide the protection needed for our children. I hope this awareness reinforces the security and protection measures that you take. Much love to you guys from the Colemans in Va!!
Jodee says:
Heather,
I found your website the day after sweet Maddie passed. And I was so heart broken… I went back and read almost all your archives and cried over each new blog post. It really hit home to me because my own little Boo is only two days older then Maddie.
I read your blog every day. I don’t always comment but I always read it. Thank you so much for sharing your life a with us.. I am glad we have gotten to see sweet Annabel grow up looking beautiful just like her sister. I just wish I had found your blog sooner. Hugs to you all. xoxoxo
Amy says:
Heather, I don’t usually comment much on blogs, but I had to today. When I was looking back at previous posts of Maddie, tearing up over what you’ve gone through, my 3 year old son came running up and said, “Who’s dat mama? She’s boo-tiful!”
I love to read your blog. I love how honest and real you are. And I’m so sorry for your loss. No mother should lose a child. Thank you for sharing your life with us.
Lisa says:
Maddie is loved, you are all loved. Maddie, you, Mike and Annie hold a special place in my heart, and I”m know in the hearts of many.
Your blog has been one of my favorites for a long time. I remember way back when I read but didn’t comment. I remember the first time I commented and you responded back via email, a connection was made. The connections we make through our blogs are strong, amazing, wonderful connections. They become the people that support us and hold us up through the good times and the bad. They laugh with us, cry with us, get mad with us. There will always be a few bad apples, but thank goodness there are more sweet apples than sour.
Love and hugs dear friend. Thank you for sharing your girls and your life with us.
courtney says:
Maddie is loved and so are you!!
Shelley Viestenz says:
I also read your blog each and every day, and have from the beginning. I am not embarrassed to say that I truly grieve for Maddie (even though I have not met her) and that I will always think of her. Through you and Mike she has touched me and many so deeply and meaningfully. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for giving me the gift of deeper understanding for the plight of sick babies and their courageous parents everywhere. Side note: I have six beautiful, grown children, one granddaughter (today is her first birthday!) and a grandchild on the way.
Olivia Singelton says:
I have to admit my heart sunk when I read that you and Mike decided to no longer post pictures of your children. However, I understood the emotions and the logic behind that decision. But then when you announced that you will continue posting pictures of your girls. In a way, I feel like a little part of your family when reading your blog and look forward to seeing pictures of your babies.
Barb from Michigan says:
We’ve loved you ever since Lisa met you and you two worked together in NY. Your family has been on our Church’s prayer chain many a time. I update my Day Care families on little Miss A and gladly show the great vidoes of The Sphor Family Adventures. Our hearts have broken with you , Mike and your family and rejoiced with you all.
I am a day care provider . Our state has a newer Web site to help parents connect with child care options. My biggest complaint is they want us to post photos of our day cares. NO WAY ! I have said since they started this , that that is a dangerous move. Everyone has access to those web sites. I refuse to post photos of my charges or my home where I have my day care. Your experience is terrifying and angering.
Please know there are many , many good people who hold you and your family in there hearts. When we were at the cottage last , the stars were so bright and the Milky Way just twinkled in all its Fall glory. I wondered which beautiful star up there is your Maddie , smiling down at all of us.
Jamie says:
When I read your post yesterday I didn’t know what to think. Admittedly, it scared me a little bit and sharing pictures is something that I always struggle with. For a while, I purposely never posted a front view picture of my kids, to protect their privacy. But, like you I realized that I just couldn’t spend time living in fear.
When Maddie died, I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me. I can’t tell you the tears I cried for you and Mike. I would wake up in the morning and check your blog (you seem to post after I’m in bed) to make sure the two of you were doing as okay as you could. I feel very attached to all of you, which is strange because we’ve never met and likely will never meet. I still wake up every morning and even if I don’t have time to read through my blog reader, I check on you. But, you and your family are part of the reason why I don’t think the Internet is depersonalizing us. I think it’s proof of how much more personal things have become.
MAGGIE says:
I just wanted to say thank you for sharing your family with us. I start each and every day by reading about your family. I feel like I know you even if it is just from reading about you. I came upon your blog over a year ago from being a follower (stalker):-) of Matt Logelin. I am from MN and have been following him from the beginning. I am so glad you guys know each other.
Kris says:
I can’t say anything that hasn’t been said already but I’ll say it anyway. I read your blog every. single. morning. and was devastated when Maddie passed. I’m so glad that you choose to share your beautiful, amazing family with us! You are all so very loved!! I’d read every day, even w/o the pictures but I have to admit I’d miss them. They put a smile on my face every time. Lots of love & hugs to all of you, even your fuzzy baby
angi says:
I’m so glad that you were able to make that decision. It’s a hard one to make. It is obvious how much your writing, your videos and your beautiful photos have touched everyone…I find it hard to believe there are many families out there who are thought of or loved more than your sweet family. Thank you.
Melissa says:
I was so upset for you when I read that post about the UK thing. And I had a similar experience when I first started journaling on LiveJournal when I had my first child. We were living in CA and all of our family was in Chicago. So I “journaled” and shared pictures. Well one day I received a nasty comment about a picture. I abruptly stopped. I never journaled again. So I am proud of you for not letting this stuff get to you. Also know that there are lots o people, like me, who read and share in your life but don’t comment (i didn’t think the people who blog read them oops). love you lots – keep on truckin!
Allison says:
I’m so glad that you know that we’re all behind you. I love seeing pictures of both of your daughters. It makes me feel like you’re a friend. You even inspired me to do the March of Dimes walk this past summer. You are an inspiration every day.
Thank you for sharing your lives and pictures with us.
Diane says:
I have often wondered if you read all of the comments. I have been reading your blog for quite some time and I thank you for sharing your life with us. You all are in my thoughts and prayers daily.
Melissa says:
Do you know I think about your Madeline every single day? I talk about her sometimes too. “A baby I know…” or “This family I know…” Your writing is beautiful and honest, and I love reading it but I am so glad that you have pictures up as well. I don’t want to have lived my entire life, never having seen Maddie’s sunny eyes or curly lashes or attitude-filled smile. Such a character, heh.
Thank you for sharing her with us.
Mrs. Wilson says:
I only started reading your blog a couple weeks before Maddie passed, through a link from Casey I believe. Even though it had only been a couple weeks, I was blown away by Maddie’s beauty and by the love that her family had for her and was devastated when I read that April 7th post.
I’m glad you’re going to continue sharing photos of your beautiful girls online. I’ve considered stopping the photos before, but then, I just don’t follow photo-less blogs as much and figured it just didn’t make sense to deprive my family/friends/readers of photos because of the few creeps.
Thank you for continuing to share your life with us.
Mary says:
I’m glad the things we say (even though mine are often the lamest ones. ) give you some comfort and support. I wish I’d found you before April 7, but I remember the day. April 6 was the one year anniversary of losing my husband and I remember when I read about your loss the next day, I just cried and cried, even though I had no history with Maddie yet. One of my thoughts was, how can there be so much pain in the world? And although our losses are completely different, I felt connected by grief. That sounds pretty weird (I promise, I’m not really creepy!), but since I was still drowning, I was looking for any way to feel less alone. So I’m glad that your blog will continue living as it is. I see that as a gigantic Eff YOU to that unmentionable person.
A final note to make you laugh: While I like to think that we’re similar types and we would be friends IRL, if we were in high school you would TOTALLY be way cooler than me. I would never get to sit at your lunch table.
angela says:
Heather,
I can not imagine how furious you are as a mother to hear about this sick bastard. It makes me ill to think of the millions of victims of these sort of scumbags but the fact that someone was looking at your most precious baby and not sobbing or smiling like most of us do, well it is enough to make me want to go hunt down the jerk for you. I learned about your blog thru Matt L’s and it was April 7th that I started reading. I sat next to my preemie son who was born 11 days after your baby girl. I asked myself, why me….why her? There really are no answers to those questions but I will tell you that there is not a single day that I don’t look at my son and imagine that precious baby girl who would be his age. When you post things like you wonder how long her hair would be, my heart shatters for you. I can not imagine the pain you feel and I am so thankful that you share your feelings. For me, writing is the best therapy and reading your blog makes me realize how very precious life is and to not miss out on a single moment with your children. When I see photos of Maddie it is almost poetic the amount of life she had in that short span. She had just the most fun parents who knew how precious she was and always will be. You remind me of myself in many ways and I’m constantly snapping photos…..it keeps the memory forever……what a shame it would be to not have every one of Maddie. I know Annie is going to grow into an amazing young woman and that is because you and Mike chose to survive the loss of Maddie and take a single step at a time to try and live. I couldn’t say I’d be strong enough but you were! Even on your most sad days, you have survived the most severe loss anyone ever could have……Annie will know her big sister and always love her. I had a brother who was a stillbirth and I witnessed his birth at 17. Just last month I had to write about him just to get the hurt out of my head and heart! I’d like to share it with you. It is a loss from a different standpoint and one day Annie will be wondering right along with you, “what if” but in my heart and soul I believe she is still with you and probably plays with that lil chubby legged angel! I think had she not been born so early, you wouldn’t have known how to keep Annie in for as long as you did. Her big sister saved her life and Maddie’s little sister saved yours. Knowing your story and Maddie’s journey has made me a better mother. And my son, who is a little pistol started out so very fragile too. He had a true knot in his cord and thankfully my water broke prematurely. Had he gotten any bigger, I would have been in your shoes. My dr who was the head of obgyn said Evan’s was the third he’d ever seen and the only live birth. He is so precious to me and your little girl got the most unfair and abrupt ending to her life……but she lived so much in that time and that alone will keep her memories alive. Evan LOVES watching both the Amazing Sphor girls. There are many times when you ask, I wonder what she’d be doing at this stage and I always wanna reply with, she’d be doing this or that……but it feels cruel to do so, so I don’t but today I will share what my little boy has done. He refused to eat anything but fruit snacks for breakfast. After that he dumped a cup of water on the ground and laughed as I cleaned it up. Right now he is watching “Bolt” for the second time today and is picking his nose. I’m quite certain he could be touching his brain with his little finger jammed up there. He talks up a storm….sometimes to much. He has road range and yesterday called a truck an asshole….I can’t imagine WHERE he’d hear that kind of language phhhft! I had to buy two pairs of identical dinosaur pj’s so he can live in them. Most days he stays in them all day long…..he’s old enough to tell me he needs a diaper change and when asked if he wants to try going on the potty, he said “I shink I’ll stick with the diaper for now” I don’t know if Maddie would be doing those things because a) she is a female and we know they are superior and b)she would probably not have road rage and curse like a sailor.
I too, wish I could see what she would be doing now. I’ll settle for watching the Amazing Annabel and know that whatever she is doing, she has a lil angel right along with her.
Angela
http://blahblahblogger.yolasite.com/16-on-the-15th.php
stacey says:
I read your blog every day. Have for quite some time! I look at Maddie’s and now Annie’s photos with my 3 year old daughter. She adores them!
I do not often comment as I most often do not know what to say…but your blog is amazing, real and has touched the lives of many.
I enjoy your blog, your photos and your genuine nature. It’s like you’re a friend I’ve known for ages. It seems many others reading your blog feel the EXACT same way! I think that is a testament to who you are.
Michelle says:
I just read yesterdays post and this post at the same time. I am so sorry that you had to deal with such an awful situation. But, I wanted you to know that your site and reading about your girls (and seeing their photos) is a bright spot in my days. I cry along with you on difficult days and laugh on the happy ones. I thank you for sharing both Maddie and Annie with us.
Alison says:
I feel incredibly lucky to know your family through the power of these here interwebs, your strength, and your courage.
I am reminded of Maddie’s “brave” shirt. We all need to be brave in the face of all the evil in the world, and Maddie, you, and your whole family are shining examples for the rest of us.
xoxo
Paola says:
Once again, you are a true example of a strong fabulous woman. I am so glad u keep writing and keep inspiring us and show us how to get up every morning regardless of the circumstances. We truly admire your strength and dedication but most of all the love for your family and friends.
Elizabeth says:
I know I’m not a constant commenter, I actually just starting posting comments recently. I stumbled upon your blog…actually I don’t remember but anyways I have read the whole thing. I cried my eyes out when I read about Maddie, it touched me as I’m sure it has everyone who has followed your blog. The title pretty much sums it up, the connection is there…..
Adventures In Babywearing says:
So true. We do win, the lovers.
Love wins.
Steph
Lori says:
I am so glad you are still going to share your photos and stories. I discovered your blog earlier this year and have been reading past and present ever since. Your pictures and funny stories of Maddy and Anabel always bring a smile and sometimes a tear to my face. Thank you for sharing (all the way to Boston). Today I had the worst commute and was in a foul mood. I checked my feed and there was Anabel “Ready to Roll” I couldn’t help but laugh and crack a smile.
Melissa says:
Thank You
Knowing that my comment is actually being read makes me feel as though I have to say something profound but that’s really all there is right now. Thank you for sharing your life, family and feelings. Your posts, and definitely you pictures, make my life richer and I feel honored to know about you and your girls. They’ll always be part of my life and I gladly explain exactly who the beautiful baby in the announcement on my fridge is.
Tami says:
All though you dont know me. I want to thank you for posting the videos and pictures of Maddie. I got to see her great big smile and see her huge big blue eyes. It gave me a chance to meet a little girl that struggled each day to keep breathing. It makes me to sick to think of people could make such cruel commets about MADDIE!! I am glad you are sharing Annies pitcures and Videos. She is simply adorable. When she smiles you cant help but smile back. Thank you for making my day!!
Trisha Vargas says:
I love all of you!! Thank you so much for continuing to share with us.
(((HUGS))) from Florida
Tina says:
You may not know it, but your girls (and you) are a special part of my day. xoxo
Katie says:
Heather, I just had to add that you are one brave lady. I read your post about the paedophile and was so shocked and disgusted. It would make sense to me if you chose not to post any more pics of your children, I think that’s what I would do. But I don’t have half the courage you do so I commend you on sticking to your guns. All the best to you and your family!!
Kristin says:
You are such a strong, amazing woman Heather. I’m so glad I have had the chance to read your story and to get to know and love your girls. Thank you.
catherine says:
Oh Heather,
You are the best! I love your writing, probably because it comes from the heart. We cannot and should not lower ourselves to that nastiness in the world by changing what we do. We can’t let “them” win (be they perverts or terrorists).
Be well.
Molly says:
Whenever I see pictures of Maddie and Annie, I think of one of your tributes to Maddie where you called her, and I might be getting this wrong, but embarassingly beautiful. That’s exactly how I’d feel if I was walking around with two such gorgeous daughters, almost ashamed – like everyone’s going “who does she think she is, toting around the cutest baby in California like she’s the queen of Sheba or something”.
Not that the queen of Sheba carried around pretty Californian kids, to my knowledge, but still. It makes it so much easier to follow your story when I can put an image to your words about Maddie’s blue eyes, or Annie’s baby-chub, or even Mike’s impressive Diet Coke consumption. So thanks for the words and the photos, is I suppose what I’d like to say. Thanks so much.
Kristin says:
I wasn’t a regular reader when you lost Maddie but when I heard it was a punch in the gut that such an amazing little girls life was cut so very short. And then I read ALL of you blog to learn exactly how amazing Maddie was, she was gorgeous, and amazing. I am so glad I get to share in that through your words. That I get to learn how amazing your daughters are, both of them are amazing. And both of them are two of the prettiest little girls I ever did see. So thank you for sharing your, and their lives with us. And there is so much love for your WHOLE family, especially from my family. Myself and my kids live for the pictures of the girls. They are just to cute for words. My youngest just this morning when we looked at the picture of Annabel said was I ever that cute haha. I told her she was indeed, but I am partial.
Alicia says:
Good for you. No fear.
And yes, Maddie is loved and will never be forgotten.
Thank you for sharing your family with us.
Jamie says:
Heather I’ve only commented a few times but read your blog EVERY day! Thank you SO much for sharing your beautiful girls with us! They are precious, and I am so glad you are taking pictures every day again!
Megan says:
HI Heather,
I remember those days right after April 7th. I read and reread everything, hoping it wasn’t true. then I prayed for you all, and continue to do so – because it’s not over. But, I see some prayers are answered in the form of a Beautiful, Amazing Annabel (best name – ever! BTW) and your wonderful family.
I’m so glad you will continue to post your photos, and the Annabel videos are sooo funny! My kids gather around to watch them!
I’m glad some of what has come from your blog has brought a small measure of peace. I pray that always continues.
PattyB says:
Maddie, Annie, you and Mike are all dearly loved by the blogosphere, and I thank you for sharing your lives with the world. I am glad that some nutjob in a foreign country isn’t going to alter how you handle your posts or your lives. Good for you, and I can’t wait to keep reading and seeing more hysterical videos featuring the Amazing Annabelle! My family just loves them!
toastgal/Susan says:
I read your blog post about the pedophile a few nights ago but I was so appalled that someone would do such a thing that I couldn’t leave a comment that night. I still feel horrified by it all so I can’t imagine what you & your family must have felt. I am sorry you had to go thru that experience but I am very happy that you will continue to blog and post pictures. It always brings a smile to my face when I see your children.
Peace to you.
Jen says:
I’ve been reading The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion. She talks a lot about grief and how it has come to be seen as something kept private, done behind closed doors. You grieve then you are supposed to move on. Your blog and your openness in sharing your story, helps us all understand the power if grief, but also of love.
harriet says:
Thankyou Heather. I would hate for you to feel pressured to continue with your blog yet I am happy for you to choose to. Your blog is the first page I turn to every morning when I turn on my computer and felt sick all day yesterday after your post, I felt like I wanted to protect you! I run a pub in England and every Friday me and my female staff watch your funny videos, we are just suckers for your cuties!
Joanna says:
Good for you for not letting some awful pervert change your attitude towards your blog. The vast majority of those who read this site care deeply about what your family has been through, and appreciate your blog for what it is: good writing, funny/beautiful photos, etc.
Having said all that, I can honestly say I would enjoy it just as much without the photos. It is really your writing that got me hooked on your blog. Regardless of that, I admire your courage and your ability to focus on the thousands of good people who visit this site instead of on the handful of horrid creeps that occasionally crop up.
QueenFrigid says:
You and your family is loved by everyone. Thank you for sharing your story with us.
Kim says:
Thank you so much for sharing your life with us. I have never even met you before and feel like I know you and your family. I have laughed and cried with you for some time now. You and your family are so amazing! Thanks for everything.
Lorena says:
Heather,
I don’t post very often, but I’m here and read almost every day. Just read what happened to Madeline and your family. Thank you for continuing to post and share pictures of your girls. There will unfortunately always be awful people in the world, with varying degrees of awful. I’d like to think your most recent run-in with awful saw something so wonderful about Maddie that maybe they tried to be less awful. How can that angelic face not inspire anyone who sees it to be anything less than their best? All the best to you, Mike, and the Amazing Annabel, and continued blessings from the Famous Madeline.
Antonia Aruffo says:
Hey Heather, I learned in my life some of the closest people to our hearts usually don’t live down the street and that never showed more true than when my last grandparent, the only one i was close to, passed away. I admire you for being strong and for sharing your life so bluntly with us. I can only hope I share that same amount of strength some day.
Marnie * says:
I’m so sickened by what I read yesterday. I can only hope that that disgusting person in the UK goes to jail for a LONG TIME.
I read your blog everyday. I may not comment everyday, but I do read it. It is hard for me to explain to my husband and others that even though I don’t know you personally, I feel like I know you. I laugh and cry with you. I just want to say thank you for sharing your life with us. I wish you and your family nothing but the best.
Amanda says:
Dear Heather, I am a reader but I don’t normally leave any comments. I read your blog everyday and I really appreciate for you sharing your story with all of us. I, too, lost a baby in March, 2009. And I, too, have a 8 month-old baby girl. Reading your blog comforts me. I have laughed and cried with you along the way. Thank you for everything.
Nicole says:
Thank you. Thank you, Heather for not leaving us and having the courage to keep posting about your life, and sharing amazing photos of your beautiful family. I read every single post, and though I hardly ever comment – please count me as another person in the world that cares deeply about your family.
All my best,
Nicole
cori says:
Thank you for sharing your family with the blog world.
You are so brave to share, please continue.
Remember Love Wins!
Sheila says:
I started reading your blog when the news of Maddie’s passing was retweeted, and let me tell you, I spent the rest of the night reading the rest of your blog and crying buckets of tears for you, Mike, Maddie, and all of the countless precious children who are lost too soon before their time.
What you write and share with us in internet land is a gift, and reading your story has certainly enriched my life. Out of tremendous grief, you have made something that other people can turn to in times of sadness. Plus, you’ve also shown that despite the tears, there are always happy times ahead.
Jeannine says:
Hi Heather,
I think you are completely amazing, and I feel so privileged to be able to read about the life you lead with Mike, Maddie and Annie.
I feel like I’ve known you for years, although in reality I’ve never met your and will most likely never meet you.
When I first arrived on your blog, it was April 8th. I clicked on the link on Aunt Becky’s blog post about Madeline, and my heart just shattered for you and Mike. As I read a few of your blog posts, I decided to click back to your first post and read your blog from the start.
In doing so, I fell in love with your family. I can only hope that someday my children will be as beautiful, smart and strong as Maddie. I hope that someday I’ll be half the mother you are to your girls.
There are truly disgusting people out there, and I wish that there was something I could do to help combat them or keep them away from you and your family.
Until I can figure out how to do that, I’ll just keep sending crazy amounts of hope and love to you guys =)
Thank you for sharing your life with us
Georgia says:
LOVE LOVE LOVE your pictures of your sweet beautiful family….keep posting them!
erika says:
heather, i am so glad you are sharing again. (i am the one who commented about having my blog photos stolen and someone set up a whole blog saying my child was her child)…
so many people did not understand why i continued to blog after what happened, but like you, i feel a strong connection with my readers who have helped me so much through very difficult times.
my identical twin daughters were both stillborn in july 2008, and having my blog has been such a wonderful blessing for me- i also had another blog devoted JUST to my grief (b/c you know it can get a little overwhelming to people to always be blogging about it 24/7)- but now i just have my one blog and feel a lot more “integrated” with my life- if that makes sense.
i found your blog after maddie had died- and i have to tell you, that even after her death, she has had the power to change lives! i really enjoy (not sure if ENJOY is the right word…) reading about your journey through grief. i know our situations are very different- but just seeing how you deal with your grief- it makes me feel like my own is valid and bearable.
if you weren’t blogging anymore, it would be sad- because every day more people get to know maddie and the incredible person she was.
so yea! i am glad you are blogging. i made the same decision- and i am glad that i did. i didn’t want someone to come in and ruin what i had built over4+ years of blogging.
i DO live in Los Angeles, so i find it funny that i read your blog and maybe live around the corner from you but we would never know it! haha! it is a small world sometimes….
love,
erika
Jeannine says:
ive been so busy that i havent read your blog in like, three days, i know.,..forgive me.. anyway so i hadnt see the pedophile post. i would have been major suspicious of those emails too because who writes like that? anyway..gross.
but i am glad that you will continue to share. i genuinely look forward to your new posts and seeing how you and the fam are doing. annie and my youngest son are close in age and it is really neat.
Plus, i think you’re hilariously funny and i love a funny read.
amy d says:
I told my husband last night about the crazy, disgusting person across the world and how it made you and Mike question whether or not to continuing posting picutres of your girls. We both talked, in depth, if we should continue posting pics ourselves. In the end, we share your belief on the matter.
Just so sorry you had to be involved in such ugliness. I am happy that the support of others has brought you and Mike some comfort. I think you guys are amazing parents and I love reading about your family.
xoxo
becky says:
I’m glad you found some comfort in reading the comments everyone wrote to you. I can’t imagine having to go back and read all that again but yes, people did reach out and did love Maddie, me included. Y’all’s story grabbed at my heart from the get go and Maddie will forever be engrained in my heart and mind…and yes you’re right, through her pictures. I’m glad you’re still going to post them.
Connie says:
Good for you for not letting the bad in this world get you down. Always remember that one candlelight can chase away the dark and know that you have a LOT of candles keeping the dark at bay for you. You are indeed so loved my dear!
Kelly says:
So glad that you are going to continue to share your girls with us.
amy froelich says:
I found your blog a couple of months ago. I have never commented because I didn’t know if it was weird for a complete stranger to say anything:) Your family is amazing and your girls are beautiful. I feel like I know you from your fabulous pictures and moving words. Please don’t stop what you are doing because of some freak. You have inspired me to love my family even more and squeeze my kiddos a little harder:) You are often in my thoughts and always in my prayers
Amy from Pittsburgh
Lisa says:
Thank you for continuing to share your children and your life with all of us out here in blogger land. Even tho I don’t post often. I read your blog every day and have since right before Maddie passed away. I have laughed, squealed, had soda come out my nose while reading your posts. I have also cried a river of tears with you these past few years. In doing so it has tought me many things. Hold my kids tighter and longer. Learn to laugh more and enjoy the rain. I truley admire you.(not in a weird stalking way either) Thank you for sharing a part of your lives with us.
Bethany says:
Thank you so much for sharing your family’s journey. I’ve been reading since Maddie was a tiny baby and it breaks my heart to hear what someone did with the pictures. I can vividly remember reading about Maddie’s death and was so shocked, I probably didn’t even comment at the time. I am mostly a lurking reader here You’re amazing!
Megan, Undomestic Diva says:
Unfortunately the phone call between Meghan and I isn’t one I will ever forget. Just reading this now bring backs the absolute ache of that day and the days that followed. Thank you for sharing Maddie with us.
Erica says:
Dearest Heather,
I read this post this morning whilst feeding my baby son and I made a a note to myself that I just had to find the time to come back today to leave you a message (esepcially as you write that you read all your comments). I still read your blog every, single day and I continue to think of your World Famous Maddie (I like to call her that as to me living in Luxembourg and coming from the UK she really is just that!) every, single day. You Spohrs continue to make such an imppact on my life and I continue to be so in awe of you all. You are all such wonderful people, so strong and courageous and an example to all of us. You are such an amazing lady, Heather, I admire and respect you so much. Your girls are so lucky to have you as their Mum, you really are the best, but then of course you learnt from the best! And let’s not forget SuperDad Mike, he’s very special too. Thank-you for continuing to share your life and your family with us, we all learn so much from you.
Sending you all much love from afar
Erica
Chrissy says:
Lucky are we to “know” you and your family through this wonderful network. And lucky are we to know and love Maddie even after she has traveled on through her eternal journey through time and space. Thank you for sharing everything with us.
LaurieSL says:
You’re my hero…seriously! Good for you that you don’t let some sicko people dictate your life! I would have totally understood if you decided to not blog anymore though. You are awesome and you have so many of us supporting you!
Sue says:
I certainly understand wanting to protect your family and I would feel the same way. But I’m so glad we get to keep seeing beautiful Maddie and Annie. I have followed your story since before Maddie passed. I have sat at my desk reading your blog and crying my eyes out as I can only imagine your pain, wishing I could do something to make you feel better. We have never met but I will continue to read your stories, say “awwww” when I see pictures of your babies and support you on your journey. Thank you.
anymommy says:
Not that this has anything to do with me (although, I can make anything about me if I’m not careful ;-), but I have to say that your post about the sick person in Britain kept me awake. I wonder about my own choices on line. (I don’t in any way wonder or judge yours; it just really made me reflect on my own cavalier attitude.) Anyway, this is a long way of saying that I really appreciate how you worked through this, the way you shared your thoughts, and of course your ultimate conclusion! It helped me tremendously to work through my feelings and my fears and find the positive again. XO.
leslie says:
Heather,
I’ve been reading for about a year, but I have never commented. Love reading your posts when they’re silly, and praying for you when they’re not. I enjoy seeing your photography skills grow and always seem to catch Annie’s contagious smile. Your creativity with your videos always has me snickering which sometimes can lead to the occasional snort. Your family inspires me to love my babes, to cherish each day by keeping in mind what is important, and how to fix my hair (if I ever decided to, ya know!). Thanks so much for keepin’ it real!
Kristin says:
I remember the first time I found my way here. It was through a link Casey posted on HER blog about Maddie being in the hospital. I’m pretty sure I read months worth of posts in one sitting. I may not comment all the time, but I read and I think of you every day. I remember my reaction when I saw on Twitter, then read on Meghan’s blog, that Maddie had died. I’m pretty sure my husband and kids remember too. Your story, Maddie’s story, Annabel’s story~they’re so important. I’m glad you’re here. Some day we shall meet! And I will give you the biggest hug.
Sandy says:
Heather, I too have been a reader of your blog back when you were sharing stories with us about Maddie and now I enjoy reading about Annabel. I somehow feel connected to you and have very often kept you and your family in my prayers. I live on the other side of the the US in western NY, but you story has touched my life! I start my everyday reading your blog while eating my breakfast before I go off to begin my day as a teacher. Thank you for sharing, and continuing to share your children with us!
giselle says:
Heather! You always bring tears to my eyes and I love you for it. I’m soooo glad you share with us. My days wouldn’t be the same without it. I hope to someday have the pleasure to meet you!
Lisa says:
Just thank you. For being strong. Throughout history there are people that have to stand through atrocities and I wonder how they could have done it when there was/is evil all around.
Your blog and a few others are all I read for my “news”. After having children I realized I couldn’t watch the news anymore because of the sensationalizing, inaccurate, negative reporting.
At any rate. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Christine says:
I just want to thank you again for sharing your life with all of us. It has been such a joy reading about your family. You guys truly are inspiring!
Nicole says:
Very well said. I thank you so much for sharing your family with us. It is an honor to be apart of your family. It is an honor to see pictures and hear stories about your girls.
I am always thinking and praying for you all.
Angie says:
Thank you for sharing your life with us. Your blog inspires me!
Charlane says:
Thank You! Your muffins are just too sweet to keep to yourself!
Meredith says:
You are all on my heart and mind all the time. Way to stand up for yourself and not be scared away by some CREEP with severe problems. We all love you, Mike, Maddie, and Annie!
Kate says:
I am so glad that you were able to see past that freak. WE LOVE YOU BUNCHES AND BUNCHES!!
Thank you so much for sharing your lives with us. Really.
Courtney says:
I came to your story late in the game…the first night I found your blog, I spent hours reading the archives with tears streaming down my face. Thank you for sharing your life. Your daughters are so beautiful, and I feel lucky to “know” them through your blog.
Lisa says:
Heather, Mike, Maddie & Annie,
I can’t believe some people can be so sick, nasty and mean but…I guess it takes all kinds. It makes me ill when I think about how awful some people can be, but I also know that the number of people who really do love & support you far outweighs bad. Be strong and know how much you really are supported. It makes me happy to see how much Annie is growing everyday and I am genuinely concerned how you & Mike are doing…and quite honestly, when I need to be reminded to smile, photos on your blog of Maddie brightens my computer screen (and mood). I just wanted to say that…and thank you.
xo,
Lisa
Angie M. says:
Heather,
I actually started reading your blog that same day Meghan wrote that entry. My heart broke for you and Mike, I remember sitting at my desk at work trying to hold back the tears and I just couldn’t do it. Ever since that day I’ve followed, through the ups & downs ..everything. I even read back to the very first post.
Your post yesterday really upset me, it was like this “person” was violating MY family and I was hurt and pissed! I just can’t even begin to understand how you and Mike felt. I’m just glad you will continue to let us in your lives..because we appreciate every bit of it.
sending you all the hugs i can muster.
suzanne says:
She is loved. You guys are all loved, and so is your blog. I would obviously support your decision either way, but I am glad that you will keep going with both the stories and the pictures that tell stories. Maddie’s electric smile brought us all together and, in many cases, brought us here to you in the first place. I will never forget the first time I watched your tribute to her. I could not believe she was gone. I could not believe what your family was going through. I was so deeply moved, and I gained a whole new appreciation for the fragility, unfairness, suffering, beauty and joy of life. We’ve all benefitted from her incredible images in so many ways.
Tandy says:
I don’t even remember how I stumbled upon your blog, but I hbe read it every day since I found it. You inspire me. You are so strong. You have a beautiful family and give the feeling through your blog that we would be friends if we knew each other. I am guessing all of your readers feel the same. I know your story has helped me be a better mom and NICU nurse. Thank you for sharing your family with us.
Heather Ross says:
Heather,
I read your almost daily. I have 3 young daughters, my youngest born may of 08.
You have made me laugh, cry and everythinbin between. Thank you for sharing your life, the good and bad. I am a better person, and mom for reading your blog…. Really!
Wendy says:
Thank you for continuing to share your life, family and pictures of your beautiful girls with us. I have been reading your blog for over a year and though I don’t always leave comments, I look forward to reading it everyday! I get excited on Mondays to see how your weekend went. So again…Thank you!
Lisa says:
I have commented a few times but I do read every day.
Love your wit, love your images, and love your love for your children.
May I also state the woman “meaning me” the one who is major clutzy, direction impaired, two left feet, and all thumbs. Yep that bad! Braided her first fish taily braid on her oldest daughter following your video. I rocked it let me tell you.
I am happy you have decided to continue.
Tara says:
You are awesome! I’ve been reading your blog for so long, but rarely leave a comment because there are hundreds there already and I always feel bad adding more (I don’t know why). But I just love you guys and it’s neat to hear how much you appreciate the online friends and followers you have. I read your blogs to my husband and show my 9 month old son Annie’s funny videos. He loves it! Your site is wonderful!
Big hugs!!
Andrea says:
Thank you for making the decision to keep sharing your story with us on your blog. We’ve never met, but I’m so grateful for your blog. With a baby on oxygen not too many people understand the life of a preemie mom. Your posts have made me laugh and cry, and I will continue to pray for you and your family.
Momma Uncensored says:
i love your pictures and stopping by to see how you are doing when i turn my computer on in the morning.
i care.
Liz says:
I’m glad you have decided to continue to share with us. I love the pictures. Since we’re in different time zones, I always see your updates when I’m up early in the morning nursing my son. I look forward to them. Thank you.
Eunice says:
Heather, I am so truly sorry about the recent events. I’m catching up on posts, so I just read what you posted yesterday. I’m happy that you’ve decided to continue sharing your pictures with us. Although there are some sick people in this world, I think we can find a lot of comfort and support in the good ones.
Mindi says:
Heather…you are such a beautiful soul! I really enjoy reading your blog and watching Annie grow. She is so beautiful. Your videos make me laugh. Your girls make me smile. Your words make me think. I pray that your heart will know joy and peace and that one day the hurt will be a little less. Yes, your Maddie is loved, your Annabel is loved…and you and Mike are too!
Ashley Hast says:
Hi again. I haven’t heard (read) what’s going on in Spohr-land the last few days….yet….but just wanted to say that I? Think you guys are *totally* rad.
Amanda says:
Heather,
Thank you for continuing to share your lives and stories and oh so adorable pictures. I can’t even fathom what you’ve gone through the last few days, but I am just amazed at your strength with all you’ve been through.
I haven’t been here since the beginning.. I think I “stumbled” here by chance after seeing Maddie’s stuffed monster and I have been a loyal reader ever since.
Jess says:
Heather,
I’ve been going through a lot in my life right now and the one thing that I do nightly that is sort of like a ritual is read your blog, poobou’s, and Anissa’s. Being invited into your lives, your heartaches, joys, inspirations and even whoops moments (the rug incident comes to mind) makes me realize a) everyone goes through bumps in the road, b) we all survive at different speeds, and c) there *are* good people out there.
Thank you for sharing your life. Thank you for allowing me in, and thank you for introducing your family to me. Not just Maddie and Annie, but Mike, Rigby, your parents, everyone. You have introduced me to things I never knew existed, or only dreamed of (family that truly loved each other) learned new things (hair styles which I need for work!), give me laughs (I’m 28 and still hear “you better hope that comes out of the rug before your mom comes home), and hope. I store away what I learn about raising children for the day I have a child of my own. Sure things will change but all babies teeth and the ideas people gave you was AWESOME.
So again, you are one awesome person. And maybe one day we’ll meet in real life, maybe not. But in the meantime, keep writing. Because you inspire me every single day.
Suzie says:
Love, Love, Love you guys! I look forward to reading your daily posts! You continue to leave me laughing, crying, and in awe of you all! Your babies are beautiful and I thank you for sharing your most personal life details! Keep the pictures coming, it helps us relate to you and brings a smile to our faces!
Michelle W says:
Just amazing how you appreciate all that you have in spite of all that you’ve lost, and amazing how no matter what is happening in your life you manage to keep seeing the good. And I do believe the world is made up of mostly good, even great, people. Your blog is evidence of that. The world needs to start publicizing more often the good that goes on I am sure it would lift the spirits of many. And although your story, your experiences have caused me more heartache than I would have expected for a family I’ve never met it has also inspired me beyond words, filled my heart, brought many smiles, laughter and tears. And you guys are simply beautiful people.
GingerB says:
I am so glad you continue to share your life with us, Heather. I’d been reading you for a few months when Maddie passed, and I remember seeing that post come up and within hours people passing this news, posting on their own blogs, as I did, posting on your friend’s blog about every post about Maddie, and I was absolutely astounded by the power of love within this internet community. If I wasn’t sold on blogging and sharing this way before, your story showed I always will be, even if my girls’ pictures are viewed inappropriately, because I want to be part of this circle of love. And, blogging is helping to save my bacon as it is cheaper and easier than therapy, and bonus: I get to see pictures of other lovely , especially yours. Nothing in my life has come close to having the impact on me that motherhood has had, and I feel privileged to get to share the joys and the despairs of it with all of you. Hugs! Kisses!
Ashley says:
I found your blog right after Maddie had passed away, and have been hooked ever since. When you wrote that you were pregnant with Annie, it reaffirmed my faith in God. I prayed for you over the months and was so excited/happy/grateful when you had Annie and she and you were healthy and OK. I don’t know why, but I think it’s a combination of sympathy/compassion and also a feeling of connection to you through your writing. I feel like you could be my friend…heck, I sort of feel like we are friends (in a one-sided, internet, my IRL friends would think I was crazy, friend way haha). Thank you for sharing your life, your words, your experiences- sometimes something you write touches me, othertimes it doesn’t relate per se (I’m single and have no children and am 24 years old), but I know that somebody out there does, and has needed at some point or another to hear what you had to say about grief, about preemies, about fabulous hair-dos, or maybe even silly wigs. I’m so glad this is fulfilling you, and I hope you know that you are absolutely fulfilling others by sharing your life and your family with us.
Jen says:
i’m glad you read the comments. i sometimes don’t drop a line, though i am here, every day. just because it’s a solid part of my routine that grounds me in an otherwise ungrounded world. but i don’t comment because, well…it seems like it might be lost in the sea of love that seems to crash upon your shores daily. but i cast my love into that sea. and pray that the ebb and flow brings peace and understanding. and humor and lots of grace. thank you for continuing to cast open your doors despite the fact that your home was violated and ransacked.
and besos to the sweet one….
Lynnette says:
Just wanted to add myself as another one of your faithful followers. I feel drawn to your blog and read it every day. I meant to tell you that I have watched a few of the Amazing Annabel videos with my 5 year old. I wasn’t quite sure what she thought of them until I was watching last Friday’s in my bedroom and she came tearing down the hall from the living room when she heard the Annie voice. She asked me to start the video over again so she could see the whole thing. Then she went back out to the living room telling Grandma “I just love the videos of that little baby!” It made me smile. I hope it makes you smile too.
thurieyyah says:
I started reading your blog earlier this year – and wasnt “with” you when Maddie passed away (I think I found your blog via another and by then Annie was a couple of days old) I found it so amazing and inspiring that I started right from the beginning – and the joy I felt when Iread about Maddie’s birth and the pain I felt about her passing (to me it didnt matter that it HAD happened ) it felt that your little girl was a part of my family.
Although I dont comment everyday – I do read your posts everyday and I love your little videos!
I’m glad that you decided to go on posting pics of your babies (Rigby included) LOL.
Thank you Heather!
amanda says:
You are all so, so loved.
Deb Hauer says:
Mike and Heather – I just want to express how much I appreciate reading about your family life on your blog. I go to a convention here in MN for moms and one thing I have learned is that by sharing our stories it helps others to know that we are not alone. I have many times felt like I am a bad mom because….. Or I didn’t do something right because…. Well the truth is many people have made the same mistakes that I have and I am NOT alone. If you didn’t have your blog for those of us to read we would not be able to relate to some of lifes struggles. You are not alone either in the struggles you have gone through. Yes, your struggles may be different or have different circumstances but you are also able to connect with other parents that have lost a child and you can now connect with others who have had a pedophile take from them. Your children are beautiful. I love the smiles both girls have shown proudly. Know that these smiles are shown proudly because these girls have AWESOME parents. I wish I lived near you but I don’t….. so consider this an online hug <<>>>
Lindsay says:
Heather,
I have been reading your blog, daily for a -long- time now.. I never leave comments, but to this post I felt I needed to tell you how inspiring you truly are. I am amazed at all you have overcome. Keep going, stay bright..<3 Lindsay
Superkitty says:
Oh God, Heather. I just read the post about the sicko who had Maddie’s pictures on his computer, and.. there are no words. It’s like a punch to the gut. There will always be bad people out there, and no matter what we do, we can’t change their actions. I’m glad you decided to keep posting pictures of Annie. She’s such an adorable little chubster – I think she looks just like her daddy.
Rachael says:
I discovered your blog because of the outpouring that happened after you lost Maddie. I am so, so glad that I kept reading. You are funny, touching, entertaining, a wonderful writer and mother. I am very glad and feel privledged to have been even a tiny part of this journey you’re taking in life. Plus Annie’s chubby cheeks make me smile.
Ray says:
I am glad that you went back and read all the comments. I can’t imagine how hard that was for you to do. To relieve moments. Emotions… Not that you still don’t. Or will ever stop feeling.
I found this blog because of Maddie’s passing, and wished instead I would have found it when she was still living. That part saddens me. Again though: It’s nowhere near to your level of (for lack of a better word) sadness. Devestation.
Nontheless: Thank you for sharing her with us.
Thank, you.
Ray says:
Ooops! I meant *relive and *devastation. Sorry!
Sharon G. says:
I don’t think I’ve commented before, but I read your blog every day. I think about your Maddie and your Annie and hope that someday I can provide such love and attention and gratitude to those in my life. I suppose today I felt the need to comment because I want to thank you for continuing to share your amazing daughters, your husband and family, and your own words of kindness, honesty, humor and love. Thank you, you inspire me.
dawn says:
oh my god…you read ALL of these through e-mail?!?! You must never stop reading! It is wonderful to know that these words have helped your family, because I can’t imagine the pain. I’m pretty sure there are no words to describe, which is why I am constantly awed by your ability to use words to describe your depth of emotion. Maybe you’ll be on the next book tract with Matt and Maddy Logelin
rachel s. says:
It was Oct of 2009 when I was googling why my daughter, who was born Nov 1st 2007, wasn’t gaining any weight. I came across your site and thought, oh one of those blog-things. I was about to click away when a small purple box asked if I was a friend of Maddie. I thought, who would put fake lashes on a baby?!
So I back tracked from that days post, and as the realization of what I was reading hit me I was hooked. Here was a family just like mine who was going thru unimaginable grief! I back tracked until I hit that post from April 7th and stopped. It wasn’t until recently that I went and read your archives to read about the happier days.
Your daughters are both ” embarrassingly beautiful”. Thank you for sharing
not only the world famous Maddie, but the Amazing Annabel, the horror stories from your jr high days (and present days, *cough-Lincoln-Memorial-cough*)
And your wonderful family adventures. You guys are definitely loved worldwide!
Lisa says:
Heather,
I have a 28-week micro-preemie born in December 2008. When he was just born and so sick, your Maddie was a true inspiration to me. Her lovely little face brought sunshine to my days as I prayed and rooted for my son in his isolette. Reading your blog, I felt a camaraderie as a fellow preemie mom with you right away, and I remember out and out bawling when I read of Maddie’s passing. I was just heartbroken for you and your family.
Your grace in the days since her passing is amazing; you are an inspiration.
Rebecca (Ramblings by Reba) says:
I’d wondered about those first days at it relates to this blog. I was glad to read this to fill in those blanks. I always like the “filling in” posts, though you’re, of course, under no obligation to post them.
Thank you.