I have a sinus infection, probably the hundredth or so I’ve had in my life (okay maybe a slight exaggeration). In my late teens and early twenties, I got four or five sinus infections per year. The only good part about getting them so frequently was I recognized the symptoms right away and always got immediate treatment. I was not as on-the-ball this time. A few days ago I woke up feeling like my face was going to split open from sinus pressure, so I went to our local urgent care. The doctor there told me to use a Neti Pot and Claritin D and, upon hearing about my NSAID allergy, gave me a three-day supply of an oral steroid to reduce my sinus swelling.

I’ve never been on a steroid for something like this before and man…it was great! In just two hours all my sinus pain was gone, plus I just felt awesome. Seriously! I had a ton of energy, and even though I was still coughing and sneezing, I didn’t feel sick. I figured the Claritin was doing its job. And then…I ran out of the steroid and it became painfully clear that the Claritin was doing jack squat and I needed an antibiotic. Oh, and I needed something other than Tylenol for the sinus pain that was so sensitive I couldn’t even stand my glasses on my face.

Dr. Looove to the rescue! She called in some prescriptions for me, and my mom offered to get them at the pharmacy for me while James and I picked up Annie at school. When we got home, Annie went into her room for quiet time and I sat with James on the floor in front of our couch. He’s been sick, too, and was cranky and ready for a nap. I was cuddling him on my lap in an attempt to settle him down when he pulled that time-honored baby trick of arching his body and throwing his head backwards, colliding with my right cheek.

This would have been pretty painful anyway (I mean, have you seen the size of James’ head? It’s a serious weapon.), but with the sinus situation it was excruciating. I saw spots in front of my vision, and then the next thing I knew, I was laying on my side on the ground. I don’t know how long I was on the carpet, but it was long enough for James to grab my iPad off of the couch and sit back down next to me. (In fact, now I think that was his plan all along…knock me out and grab my electronics! Behind those innocent blue eyes is an evil genius.)

big head
This giant Spohr Head is a lethal weapon. 

I was groggy and disoriented. I realized Annabel was still in her room. Then I saw that Rigby was standing about a foot away, staring at me. My sweet, faithful dog who sticks to me like glue…is no Lassie. Girl did not go get me help. She just cocked her head at me like, “Think you’re gonna feed me soon?” I pushed myself onto the couch, and luckily, my mom walked in right then with my prescription.

In my head I said, “James just tried to kill me for my iPad,” but I think it came out, “Ughsijkwdst@#*@#$?” which was, admittedly, confusing for both of us. Thankfully, my mom was able to figure out what happened and take control of the situation before James stole my lunch money, too.

This was definitely my most interesting child-inflicted injury yet. Kudos to you, James.