One of these days I’m gonna figure out the cure to teething. Until then, I’m still looking. Maddie can’t just pop one tooth. No, she has to supersize her teething. I can see she juuuust popped a bottom tooth out, and her top gums are all lumpy and nasty. Which means she goes from this…
and then someone bought her a pony
…to this…
I AM SO PISSED AT YOU!
…in the blink of an eye. It’s kind of unfair, I’m the only one around here allowed to have PMS-like mood swings.

On Sunday Maddie attended the birthday party of her two BFFs Reilly and Georgie (the children of my oldest, bestest friend Tara). Tara made some ridiculous cupcakes.
Tara's fish cupcakes

A couple days before the party, I talked to Tara and she was like, “I can’t get the cupcakes to look the way I want!” or some madness like that. She said she wanted fish cupcakes to go with her beach themed party. I told her to slap some Swedish Fish and M&Ms (for air bubbles, of course) on the frosting and call it a day. Instead, Tara busted out some pastry bags and decorating tips and made perfect fish. If I’d done that the fish would have looked like deflated basketballs. Then the goodie bags were sand castle buckets with shovels and goldfish crackers.
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Freaking Tara with the awesome cuteness!

Maddie had her first taste of dyed frosting at the party.
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clearly she’s crazy about it.

And then her body exploded in a rash. Tara blames the grass. I say that’s TOO EASY, and have continued to send Tara text messages that say, “are you trying to kill mai baybee?” The rash was no joke.

her rash

It was ALL OVER her arms, legs, and feet. But as of bed time some 29 hours later, it was just about gone. It didn’t seem to bother her at all. Or, at the least, it didn’t bother her any more than her teeth did.

Also, it’s creepy how much Maddie’s leg looks like mine. Like, if it wasn’t insanely tiny and covered in a rash, I would think that was my leg. It’s weird when your kids have your body parts. Sorry you got my legs, Maddie. They’re not exactly my best physical trait (I’ll get back to you when I settle on my best physical trait. (Mike do not say my boobs)).

For some reason this reminds me that I have to write a 100 word bio for my new gig as a March of Dimes Mom. Yeah, I’m all about the appropriate segues. That should make my bio REAL interesting. I’m taking suggestions for my bio. Like, obviously, “frequently cuts her fingers but avoids stitches” HAS to be included, right?