For all of the things I love about this time of year, there’s one thing I cannot stand: the complaints about Elf on the Shelf. For those of you who don’t know, the Elf on the Shelf began in 2005 when the book The Elf on the Shelf: A Christmas Tradition was published. The elf comes to homes in December and every night, after the kids are asleep, flies back to the North Pole to tell Santa what’s up. The next morning, the elf returns to a different spot in the house from where it was the day before. The kids are supposed to find the elf, talk to it, but never touch it, as touching the elf makes it lose its magic.
Now, full disclosure, we have an elf. Annabel named our elf “Georgie,” and this is our third year with Georgie hanging around. We emphasize that the elf reports on good behavior, so he’s the bearer of good news instead of a snitch. I have an alarm that goes off on my phone every night that reminds us to move it. And, that’s all we do – move it. So sometimes Georgie hangs out on our wine rack, sometimes he’s on our Christmas tree, other times he’s hanging from clothes pins or picture frames. We spend about 30 seconds on moving it each night – and we didn’t even start moving it until last year.
My Facebook feed is jammed with people who are either sharing elaborate pictures of their elves, or sharing the most mean-spirited, parent-shaming articles about how terrible and creepy the elf is. It annoys the crap out of me. The Elf is supposed to encourage good behavior, Christmas magic, and imagination, things elf-haters apparently lost the day they became adults.
It’s sort of baffling to me why so many adults think it’s creepy…is it because it’s a doll with eyes? If that’s what it is, don’t come to my house, you can’t walk into any room without a dozen doll eyes on you (and half of them talk for no reason). Is it because the doll is supposedly an omnipresent, omniscient being? Because, you know, this elf is just another thing in a lonnnnng line of beings watching our every move. *waves to the NSA* Except, spoiler alert, the elf isn’t real.
Do some people put their elves in all-out scenarios every night? Yep! And it looks like a lot of work to an outsider. It might be, it might not be, but it doesn’t matter because guess what? Putting the elf in a situation every day is not required. It isn’t in the book, you don’t have to do it. Who cares if your kids’ friends have crazy elves? You don’t have to keep up with the Joneses. Annabel’s best buddy at school is having a petting zoo birthday party but there’s no way in hell I am having one at our house. I can’t be around Llamas again.
My point is it’s on us, as parents, to manage the expectations of our own children. When Annie wants to know why our elf just moves around the house, but Lizzie’s elf eats tiny donuts and plays video games and has snowball fights, I just say, “Because that’s her elf at her house. Our elf is different. Eat your breakfast.”
And friendly reminder, the elf itself isn’t even a required Christmas activity! It actually has nothing to do with Christmas. I’m rusty on the Bible but unless the Elf’s real name is Matthew, Luke, Mark, or John, I don’t think it was even mentioned (I guess it could have been one of the wisemen…I should google it). I’m pretty sure most church officials don’t even know about Elf on the Shelf. I mean, the new Pope is pretty progressive so I guess there’s a chance he might like, read a tweet about the elf, but I’m pretty sure he’s mostly going to be praying about Jesus and our sins.
So do what makes you happy, and don’t do the other stuff. But don’t crap on the people who do things differently. It’s the holidays, we’re supposed to be nice to each other. Fa la la la la, to each their own.
Pam L. says:
I like your attitude! My girls are older now (18 & 15) and past the Elf “magic” game, but I (kinda) wish it had been popular when they were little. I say kinda because I probably would’ve felt that (self imposed) pressure to do some of the really creative moves. It’s such a short time span to do fun, unique, traditions like this with your kids.
My oldest is away at college now and the opportunity is lost. This year, after seeing so many cute photos on blogs, I asked my 15 yr. old if we should have an elf at our house and she very much protested NO! And her friend who was with us at the time declared that the elf creeps her out. Don’t know why people thinks it’s creepy – maybe it’s the molded hair, the sideways eye glance, the grin? – lol!
Now, the more I think of it, I believe next year I will introduce an elf in our house and make it do elaborate hi-jinx just to annoy my teenager. lol! It’ll be worth the eye-rolls, sighs and OMG! she’ll utter. But I just bet she’ll take a cell phone picture and post our elfie on her instagram, snapchat, twitter or whatever new social media is invented by next year.
Oooh, maybe if I can really get my act together, I’ll get an elf this year to “welcome home from college” my oldest daughter and then I only have to come up with about 5 days of ideas this Christmas season.
Gee, thanks Heather, I thought I was past this stage, now I’ve got some research and more shopping to do! lol!
marcia marcia marcia says:
I love your attitude! My youngest are 15yo also…and this may be a great way to bring a little silly “magic” back to the holidays for them, too. What could it hurt?! I’m in!
Sheila says:
Hear hear! We’ve got an elf and kids love it. Mine don’t know that other elves are crazy we just go by the book and move it around. It’s just one part of getting them excited and we love it. I don’t read about the haters – who has time when you have to move the elf every day!
Eileen says:
Amen! It’s supposed to be fun – if it’s not fun for you, don’t do it! Our elf doesn’t make messes like flour angels or marshmallow baths. My kids make enough messes for me to clean up. I don’t need to create or clean up after an elf too. But, for people who like that sort of thing? Good for them! Whatever makes you happy. Our kids are thrilled with our elf just moving around the house. Like you said, it takes us 30 seconds a day. It’s a fun little tradition.
Miranda S says:
Love this! We have an elf for our four year old and this is really the first year we have actually moved it. I spend about 1 minute scanning the house for a new place to move Fry. Maybe when my kids are older I might do more elaborate things or maybe not (probably not because I’m not that creative). I thoroughly enjoy the posts by my friends that have elaborate elves though. I don’t understand why people still have the mentality of judging others differences in parenting (or anything else for that matter).
Annalisa says:
So, here’s my problem with the Elf: he looks like Chucky. Plenty other dolls with eyes don’t, btw. He just happens to. That’s enough reason for me to skip over the EOTS posts in my Facebook feed. Nope. No thank you.
I also foresee it becoming one more cause for anxiety to my daughter, who freaks out when actual living creatures (the cats) move about the house at night. An elf that moves around the house might just make her forego sleep altogether.
DefendUSA says:
My kids are too old, ha. But not me. I have an EOTS. Why? Because I effing love it, that’s why. And some day when I have grandchildren, we are going to start that tradition…for now, my kids roll their eyes and I tell them, “You’ll miss me!”
Suzy says:
You have a typo there, I think you meant to say, you “elfing” love it!
Ashley says:
I effing love you! Haha! My friend’s kid is too old, but she does it too and you know what – it’s FUN and she likes it!
Shannon says:
Yes! I completely agree! If you want to do the elf than do it. If not then don’t. There’s no need to bash the ones that don’t agree with you.
Laurie Delooze says:
YES!!!!! Let kids celebrate the magic!
Nikki says:
“I’m rusty on the Bible but unless the Elf’s real name is Matthew, Luke, Mark, or John, I don’t think it was even mentioned (I guess it could have been one of the wisemen…I should google it).”
This is the best. That’s all.
Amanda says:
We tried the elf a few years ago, but our daughter (not much older than Annabel) FREAKED OUT and made me throw him away. She literally begged me put him in the trash while she watched so that she knew he was gone. I got him out later so we could try the next year, but nope. Seeing one in a store the next year got her talking about how she didn’t like that “qweep eff” (creepy elf).
Books says:
I’m in the finds the elf creepy because I have a thing about dolls camp. But my MIL gave us one and then my son’s daycare introduced it last year so we pulled it out. Hearing him talk very earnestly about how you can’t touch it because it will lose its Christmas magic sealed the deal for me. He believes in Christmas magic. I’m going to nurture a belief in magic for as long as I can.
Erin Erle says:
Well said Heather, as usual.
Angela says:
I think it’s just the pain of one more thing I NEED to do or my kids will feel left out that all the other kids do it. I’m very scatterbrained so I’ll need alarms for sure to remind me (birth control pills were my nemesis even with an alarm to remember). Also some of the moms on my Facebook have posted photos of their elves with letters a both how disappointed Santa is at their terrible behaviour. I mean, I’m all for Santa helping as motivation to keep them good, but that would have been a little traumatizing for me as a kid. I guess that’s rubbed me the wrong way. My son is isn’t one yet so I have a few years still and I’m sure I’ll love it. My mom was the queen of epic Easter egg has wth rhyming clue scavenger hunts or only using song lyrics, I’m a little sad she never got a chance at this because it’s totally her thing haha.
Nellie says:
Brilliant post! I was just discussing this with my friend last night and how we are nothing like the parents who get super creative with their elf. I am lucky I can get home from work and remember to make dinner, let alone move an elf around the house. My daughter loves searching for her each morning and I was getting a little uptight with myself about not being creative with the Elf, just putting it in another spot but this post, THIS POST, just made me feel like I’m doing everything right and it’s okay if the elf is not swimming in a doll pool or reading a book on my daughter’s shelf with glasses on, etc.
Stephanie says:
My older daughter loves her Elf, whom she’s named Reggie. She’s about seven months older than Annie. It takes us about one minute to figure out where to move him each night. Each morning she runs downstairs to see where he is. That’s it!
Vanessa says:
thank you for this.. We do the Elf and he’s just about spreading Christmas cheer.. none of this naughty/nice list stuff (because let’s be honest, the Big guy is going to bring them presents regardless of whether they are good listeners :P).. I feel like if you don’t want to do it and it’s too much stress then don’t.. It’s the same with crafting.. I love doing it, it makes me happy but that doesn’t mean you have to or that I judge you for not being a pinterest mom!
Lauren says:
So, my mom did something like this years before The Elf was even a blip on anyone’s radar – in other words, like 20 something years ago. It’s kind of a neat alternative to the elf that everyone loves to hate on.
We had this little wooden manger (I’m talking like two inches long), that every evening, if we had behaved well during the day, got a piece of hay/straw added to it. The idea was, we were preparing a place for Baby Jesus… and then, on Christmas morning, Jesus (a nativity figurine) would appear in the bed of hay we’d laid. It kept our behavior in check, and kept it less focused on behavior-driven presents.
Jeanie says:
I love this.
Jackson says:
I guess I do not understand why parents would complain other than blogs seem to invite complaints. It seems to me that what you put in your house is only your business and if you want an elf or two or three then put them in and if you don’t then do not put them in.
Sara Williams says:
H- Can we be friends irl?! You always say what I am thinking (just clearer and funnier “Because… Eat your breakfast.” Exactly!
Beck says:
I have four kids between the ages of 13 and 23. I’m so sad I missed out on the elf thing before my kids were
To old. I considered doing it anyway.. But my kids thought that would be weird????. I’m all for anything that adds a little magic into a kids life. Elf away!
Jess says:
I choked on my Red Bull when you said he wasn’t in the Bible because I was laughing so hard. My fiancé loves Christmas so when we have kids will we do the elf? Don’t know. I think he’s a little scary looking myself. I like the pictures my friends post of theirs and the kids who believe in the Magic. Otherwise to each his own!
Mainemom says:
I wish I hadn’t read the spoiler alert!!
MH says:
I hate our elf. But I do it because my kids love him and I love the joy it brings them! I’m getting good at coming up with excuses on why he didn’t move! So so tired trying to squish it all in! ha ha ha!
Jewl says:
DITTO! we are inbetweeners, some nights he just sits on the tree, others he dresses up and partays (usually on weekends, cuz we are old)! but I love all the creative things people do. As some have said, when it comes to our kids, we encourage being a kid and the fun that comes with it for as long as possible. Adulthood and work comes way too fast, so if you believe in Christmas magic, yay! Our 12yo obviously knows santa and the elf are just made up things, but still finds joy in pretending for her excited brother. Life can be a downer sometimes people, if we find a smile in a creepy elf, so be it! You said it so much better tho Heather…
kristin says:
Haha! I love this furious side of you!
Also, my BFF tried the elf years ago with her then 4-year old. She explained the idea/belief behind it and he looked at her HORRIFIED and asked, “Mom, you know it’s not REAL, right??” Poor little thing thought mom had gone completely mad! Hehe.
Jennifer says:
Amen. To each his own. If you and your kids enjoy the elf…do it. If not…don’t. The end.
Melissa says:
I love the Elf! Some people come up with the most elaborate stuff… I read a blog where on 12/01 their elf cooked a Christmas breakfast for everyone and left gifts.
I thought about doing it just for my husband this year (no kids yet, but one on the way!) but I was afraid our puppy would tear poor Elfie to shreds. But I can’t wait for our little one to get old enough to do it. My grandmother has an elf she hides at our family Christmas party and my cousins and I (all late 20’s to mid 30’s) tear that place up looking for it. It’s all in good fun!
Kim Root says:
We have an elf – similarly named “George” that we’ve had for 3 years. My boys are 10 & 12 and this may be the last season of “true” believing we get out of the little one so the elf moves around every night. I have to admit that some nights it is tedious to find another spot for him but the kids love trying to find him every morning so move him we do. I don’t make elf jacuzzis out of marshmallows or elf zip lines but hats off to the parents that do. For me, I plan to enjoy every year the kids will still “believe” in the elf.
Laura says:
What I took away from this is what did the Llamas do to you that you can’t be around them again? lol!
Sarah says:
I hate the elf, BUT… I hated the elf on site – I had no idea until earlier this year that it was supposedly reporting back to Santa. And that is… weird? I mean, isn’t Santa just supposed to know this stuff? What, he’s getting old, the population is out of control, and he can’t keep track of all the children anymore? Or maybe he’s blowing off American children because they’re already so over privileged? Haha. But I just don’t like the way it looks. We do Jesus, we do Santa, we blend a variety of things together, and adding one more thing to our happily packed December / Advent activities didn’t appeal.
I had *no* idea that there was a whole “rage against the elf” thing going on. One more reason to be happy that I’m no longer on FB.
Annalisa says:
Seconded. Isn’t the big guy supposed to see every good deed automatically? That’s what we’re telling our kiddo anyway (the youngest doesn’t really do the whole “listening to mom or dad” at 15 months).
Cristy says:
Amen!!! Our elf Squash just moves. No parties, no shennanigans… Pretty mellow dude. And we love him that way. :o)
rc says:
My kids are too old for this at nearly 16 & 18. I love your attitude though. I feel the same way – never felt the need to keep up with what their friends’ families were doing.
amourningmom says:
We are Jewish so no Elf in our house (but the Mensch on a Bench is now out so we will see what happens). I am all for Christmas magic and agree with you that people should just ignore the elf if they don’t want to play. I can’t help but quote Taylor Swift “the haters gonna hate, hate, hate”. . .
Amber says:
MENSCH ON A BENCH! I LOVE IT!
allison says:
they didn’t even have this when i was a kid! It’s all news to me.
Jen says:
I have no problem with people using the elf. To each their own. I was never much of a rebel, but I always did rebel by going against the grain. If everyone else likes plaid, I don’t like plaid. So I’m not sure I don’t have a good reason for why I don’t want an elf; I just don’t. My problem is, how do I explain to my kids why we don’t have an elf? My 4 year old is oblivious, but my 9 year old started begging for an elf last year. Why does my 9 year old still believe in Santa?? I wish she didn’t; would make it much easier! Anyone help with an explanation to my daughter why we don’t have one?
alejandra h says:
You say she is 9. She might find out soon enough on her own or from someone else. I would just tell her the truth about santa. My kids have known from the beginning that santa is pretend and that just like any character it’s fun to pretend they are real. But I always made sure to remind them that just because we know he’s pretend doesn’t mean we have to ruin it for others. I also explained to my 6 yr old this year the origin of St. Nicholas. We love Christmas.
Cheryl says:
Thank you! I agree with everything you said
Linda says:
Heather, just like many many other things, it’s a Christmas tradition for some families. My girl is too old for the Elf, but I love seeing what others are doing with him (last night my brothers elf was taking a shower). A few years ago, when our girl was starting to question whether Santa was real, my husband put Elk droppings on our front walk as Reindeer poop. She loved it and still talks about it. Gross? Yes, but a wonderful memory. That is what the Elf is all about.
Julie says:
I’m one of the guilty ones who thinks the Elf is creepy. But thank you for writing this, as it made me look at the entire thing through the eyes of a parent with small children. My “baby” is going to be 24 this month, so it’s been a long time since Christmas was a magical time at our house, thus the reason I could not identify with EOAS. I had no idea the actual story behind it (or that there even was one, I thought it was a just a successful marketing ploy!) so thank you for making me step around the ball and look at this from a different perspective.
I still think the Barbie “Whore in a Drawer” was hilarious though. LOL Some adults (aka me) never grow up.
XOXO and best holiday wishes!!
PS Did you happen to check out my Hallowedding album on Facebook? A great time was had by all!
Heather says:
I am OBSESSED with your Hallowedding album!!! It looked so amazing, and you looked BEAUTIFUL!! It makes me want to get married again, this time on Halloween! LOL
Chris says:
We have an Elf and almost forgot to put it out this year. Ally came home and said “so and so’s” elf showed up this morning, how come ours didn’t. Ooops. We explained it was still only the 1st of December so she (Snowflake is her name) would probably show up tonight. Whew, almost blew it. We love moving her around every night.
Susan Salewski says:
My kids are too old for Elf on the Shelf (they are young adults)but I have already bought 3 for my cousin’s children. I can’t wait for grandkids! I already am planning on keeping an extra elf at my house for sleepovers. I think it is a very fun idea!
christine says:
This is our first year with the elf. My son is 9 and I finally gave in after he reported “he was the only one at school who did not have an elf!” I am so glad I did. It has been great fun! To a degree it has taken the focus off whether Santa is real because he is so into what the elf is doing. He loves looking for him each morning. But the real surprise is the adults – my husband also can’t wait to see what the elf has been up too and my parents wait each morning for the text picture to come across see what the elf has done. If I forget to send it they call to ask. Yes, it can be a pain but the joy it has brought to both the young and the old is priceless.
marcia marcia marcia says:
It’s such harmless fun…why be a Grinch if it is something that is bringing happiness to others?
Glenda says:
Well said Heather! I don’t get why the bashing for those that have fun with it. To each it’s own traditions!
Amy says:
Amen! I agree 150%! We have an elf, Timby, that has been around for four years now. Our elf does do crazy things around our home and is found in outlandish situations, but he does it because our son LOVES it. Hey, he is 8, and it gets him hopping out of bed every morning, on time for school, in search of his elf because he is excited to see the antics Timby got into last night! I love it and wouldn’t trade this little bit of magic for anything. It makes this time of year a bit more special for those in my home.
Jessica says:
Love it! I’m just glad there are people out there whose elf doesn’t do crazy things. I was starting to feel guilty. I would love to do crazy things but many require the elf to be at lower levels and I am certain my youngest (who is 3) would touch the elf and my older son would have an immediate heart attack.
Thanks for posting!
Michelle says:
Love this! Totally agree! This line was my favorite…
I just say, “Because that’s her elf at her house. Our elf is different. Eat your breakfast.”
LD's Mom says:
Amen, sista!!!
Kirsten says:
It’s funny to me that you wrote this post because just yesterday I found out they are doing the Elf in my son’s first grade classroom. Apparently alot of parents are in an uproar about it and I’m like “EH – what’s the big deal???”. We don’t have one only because I know I would forget to hide the damn thing – but I don’t get why so many people are enraged about it being at school. Lame.
Jacquie says:
I was unsure about these EOTS, creepy did come to mind. Then “Jonesy” came to our house this year and we are having fun with him. My son is 3.5 and his sisters are 9, 13 and 20, they are playing along nicely with it. My 9yr old even said the other day “maybe he is real?”
Jacquie says:
P.S. A little magic in our kids lives is not a bad thing in my opinion. Jonesy hasnt been too crazy, although he may be toasting marshmallows tomorrow morning I admit I am enjoying ideas for him from what I have seen online and what I can come up with.
Heather G says:
I heard about the elf from a friend before the Hallmakrk version became popular. I got ours online 8 years ago. It’s a soft, cute, stuffed doll. There was never a rule about not touching it so it (& the 2nd one that came for my younger son) has become a well loved stuffy each holiday season. Like you, ours also focuses on good things. And sometimes they are to tired or are sick and can’t move.
Jordan says:
I’m pretty sure most church officials don’t even know about Elf on the Shelf. I mean, the new Pope is pretty progressive so I guess there’s a chance he might like, read a tweet about the elf, but I’m pretty sure he’s mostly going to be praying about Jesus and our sins.
^this is great.
I grew up before this Elf thing came about, but I think it’s cute. Here are my thoughts:
If you like the Elf and want it to be apart of your Christmas traditions, GO FOR IT!
If you want to make elaborate scenarios or just move it around, GO FOR IT!
If you don’t like it and choose to not include it in your family’s traditions? GO FOR IT!
The world could do with a LOT less judgement.
Not my circus, not my monkeys- do what makes YOU happy, and what YOU are capable of. Let other people do what works for them. Hating and being rude over a dang ELF doll is a seriously insane. Just let it goooo, people.
Veronica says:
I am not a hater, but we don’t do the Elf on the Shelf and my daughters are very thankful for that. They have an issue with Santa coming to our house, and for a few years we had to assure them that Santa was good and he understood their fears and would ship them their Christmas gifts… It stared with a Santa visit to a Christmas party, and he was a good guy, but some older kid tried to carry my daughter up to him and she freaked and had nightmares, about Santa! She kept going on and on about not wanting anything from Santa because she was afraid of ‘that strange man’ coming into our house while we were sleeping, even if he was bringing her a Christmas present. Someone we have always hailed as good, and always focused on the good (we gloss over the naughty and nice list, and tell them it’s mostly for big kids and grown ups who forget their Christmas spirit and try and ruin it for others). So we thought the Elf on the Shelf might be a bad idea. And we have read them the story and my oldest is very happy that we don’t need an elf to watch them. So that’s that, we don’t have one. It’s only because I respect my children’s comfort zones (and it’s a good thing, because I would forget to either move it, or to not touch it…). I agree though, let people do their own things. Why be a hater? Isn’t that a waste of emotions and energy that could be used for smiling, because smiling should be everyone’s favorite!
Annalisa says:
OMG, I didn’t even think of the whole “I don’t want Santa coming to my house” angle of anxiety. I say this because my daughter tends to be anxious about everything, and the additions to the list usually come out of nowhere (thus far: the vacuum, the sound our furnace makes at night, the cats, dogs outside, birds, the toilet flushing, shower heads, swings, grandpa…).
Kim says:
I am 43, and we had an Elf when I was a child in the 70’s! I think the tradition has been around at least since the 50’s, judging from the look of some of the vintage elves you can find if you google them, but the 2005 book surely popularized him…
Jeanie says:
Bravo!
Paula R. (fka preTzel) says:
Do your traditions and to hell with the Elf – haters!!!
We were thought to be weird because Santa left mud tracks in our house and the Easter bunny shed his fur on the way out of the house and sometimes (thanks to my dad) he might have left little rabbit marbles behind. (GROSS!)
twingles says:
This is true of anything related to parenting and traditions, but since it’s concentrated in a 3 or 4 week span, that’s what is causing all the drama and hate.
We don’t have an elf (actually, we do, but he’s 50 years old and stays in his box even at this time of year because my daughter, who is almost 11, finds elves creepy, along with – yes – dolls [and it IS the eyes!] and garden gnomes and furry mascots). Did I mention she’s almost 11?! Oh, she’s afraid of blow up lawn decorations too. Saving me a bundle of cash, that one.
You should really just skip reading the posts that bug you – especially at this time of year.
As for telling your child that your elf won’t be redecorating your tree, who woulda thunk that I simple “I don’t know why that happens with other elves” would work so well with the pre-kindy set?!
Jenny says:
I’m totally supportive of parents doing what works for them! Do your thing! We don’t do the Elf in the traditional way…there is no reporting back to Santa here. I’ve never liked that whole “be good cause Santa is watching” thing – we should just be good and do good things because it’s a Tuesday, or whatever. So we just skip that part, and the kids giggle whenever the Elf remembers to move and do something silly. I’ve been kind of digging the whole “kindness Elf” thing that I’ve seen floating around. But again…DO YOU! Enjoy this time with your kids, enjoy the magic of the season, however that looks for your family. (hopefully this post reminds us all to go move the Elf…ahhh!)
c says:
I agree with the poster who said that this sometimes becomes an issue among kids – why do you have one and I don’t!? I teach in a poverty-ridden district. My kinders don’t understand why Santa would send an elf to one of their friends but not to them. I also posted an article about not loving the elf, and commented that I agreed with some of what was written. That doesn’t make me a hater. Doesn’t make me a grinch, although I was called one by some of my friends for posting. I even included “to each his own”, but I guess that is only true if you like the elf and post that you do pretty sure that facebook is all about having your own opinion! Just because I stated mine doesn’t mean I’m not a kind, loving, compassionate person who also enjoys various traditions. It seriously goes both ways! We all need to learn to deal with differing opinions without trying to make anyone feel badly for their own! I sure don’t feel badly for mine, even though I’ve been named a hater! For my friends who love it, I don’t post under their opinions that they are odd or anything else unkind. I just realize they feel differently than I do!
Heather says:
IF you were nice about it, then you’re not a grinch! Most of the criticisms I’ve seen have been terribly unkind – stuff about stupid, bored stay-at-home moms. That’s not cool! But really, it’s hard for the little kids but it’s a lesson they are going to have to learn eventually. Some kids get things that other kids don’t. It’s an unfortunate fact of life, and it’s a crappy thing to have to learn at a young age.
Ashley says:
I’m not a loud & proud elf hater. However, I am pretty sick of pictures of the elf in my news feed. For the most part, the people posting are just trying to remind everyone how clever they are by showing the creative way the positioned a doll in their house. It is sad.
Additionally, the entire concept does focus on children learning to “behave” to get a reward. That was never St. Nick’s way really. St. Nick was dropping money in stockings based on need not behavior. Are we basing our entire image of “Santa” on a song written in 1934 or on the actual person he was modeled after? Further, if you believe in Christmas being about Jesus’s birth than equating gifts to behavior is an especially bad idea since “Jesus came to seek and to save the lost” not the “well behaved”.
Heather says:
But if it’s your news feed, aren’t these people your friends? I like seeing the clever things my friends do. I’m happy when they’re happy.
Casey says:
Yes.
Rose says:
In my opinion, it’s to each their own. We did the elf on the shelf but I found it made my kids worried that they weren’t behaving well enough. Last year I stumbled across the imagination tree’s website and their kindness elves. I had a new elf come to our house and she is a kindness elf (really she’s a stuffed elf on the shelf). Each day she leaves a quick note of a kind activity that my kids can do (for neighbors, friends, teachers, animals, people in need… Etc.). My kids love it! They are so into doing these little kind things and their behavior is SO good! To me, they are embracing the spirit of Christmas through her. I told the kids they could hug her and she won’t lose her magic. I even had to bring her to the winter concert last year so she could watch my kids sing. But, back to your topic, I think if the elf works for you and your family, go for it. I think it’s fun to see what others are doing.
Heather says:
I love the Kindness Elf idea!
Nancy says:
Have you seen the cute photos for ideas for EOS: http://www.poofycheeks.com/2013/11/20-fun-elf-on-shelf-ideas.html A couple of weeks ago I was going to send you the one for the elf on the toilet, with peppermint candy in the bowl. Too funny!
Jen says:
Thank you for this! I have had these same thoughts. Well said.
claire says:
The elf on the shelf has been around since at least my uncle was a child. They have the original that the current elf is based on who visited them and me as a child and my cousins and will visit their children. Its not accompanied by over the top ridiculous pranks but a simple reminder to be kind to others etc. But it most certainly has been around longer than 2005 lol
Barbara DeRousseau says:
“I should Google it!”…. Hahahahaha!
The Elf is just one of MANY things that will be handled differently in different homes. Time for families to learn how to talk openly about how all of our families are unique.
TonyaM says:
Our first elf came in 2007, and was later joined by a second. And at least once during the season, a whole clan of them will make an appearance. They all look pretty old, so we thing they’re retired or something. There’s even a granny one whom showed up at my mom’s house. My youngest is almost ten and still very into the magic, as are all her friends at school. The elves are her favorite part of the holiday magic, and she always gets a little sad when telling them goodbye on Christmas Eve. Our elves dont get all crazy, and sometimes there are storms over Argentina (??) preventing them from moving, and they have never been on fb. But they’ve come to be a treasured part of our Christmas season, and I know our girls will have wonderful memories of them forever. How could I complain about that?
Casey says:
Thanks for writing this! We caved and got an elf last year and I gotta say – my 6 year old is REALLY into it. I wasn’t so sure myself but seeing her excitement every morning has made it totally worth it. Sometimes our Elf does clever and fun things and sometimes she just moves. We put little pressure on ourselves and it’s turned out to be a fun tradition – for my kiddo and ourselves!
Susanna says:
We actually started doing something similar back in the 80’s when my younger sister was little, but with an angel. The Advent Angel moves around the house every night and on Christmas Eve she reports to Santa. We do it with my kids now and they love it, and they’re 12 and 17.
Joelle says:
i love the take that the elf “rewards” good behavior. I’ve done that a little bit…like if one of my girls does a “job” around the house she can go tell the elf. But i am going to stop saying the elf tells santa about bad behavior. doesn’t seem to help anyway.
This is our first year with the elf, and my 3 year old twins love it…they aren’t convinced I’m not moving it, but they think its a riot anyway. we don’t do any antics with it either, but how fun to wake up and go looking for something that will make you smile? it’s more of a competition between my husband and I on where we can find the best spot.
Cassidy says:
Yes! To all of this. Love the tradition and make of it what you want.
Katrina says:
well this year our Elf hasn’t arrive yet because *someone* can’t remember where he was hidden away for the year….
Jennifer says:
I’m beyond the elf years as my “kids” are 20, 17 and 13. However, I do find the whole “Santa will bring presents to good children” custom very odd and creepy. It doesn’t seem to teach very good values to our kids–be good only if others are watching or if there is something in it for you, only people who behave well are liked/esteemed/worthy and get nice things, etc. I never really thought about how odd the whole Santa thing until my oldest totally freaked out at almost three about Santa. He couldn’t sleep for days in December and it finally came out that he was terrified by the whole Santa thing. He looked at me with tears in his eyes and said, “I don’t understand. Why can’t he just come to the front door during the daytime like normal people to give me my presents?” It got me thinking about how strange the whole custom was in general, and we ended up not doing the Santa thing with our kids. Instead, we focused (since we’re Catholic) on the traditional Saint Nicholas and used his feast day (December 6th) to do something special for someone else–a homeless shelter, children’s hospital, etc.
I also recently read a study that surmised the whole Santa thing can make children more self-centered at Christmas time. They did an experiment where some kids were asked what they wanted for Christmas by Santa and others were asked what they were going to do for others this Christmas season and then did an experiment with candy and sharing to see how generous kids were. The kids Santa asked about how they were going to give to or do for others were much more generous than the ones who gave Santa their list of wanted gifts. Not sure how valid the experiment was, but it’s food for thought… Maybe the elf could be looking for generosity and Christmas spirit more than “good behavior”?
Sara says:
I just wish people would stop trying to push the elf on us. I have a legit puppet phobia (to the point where my daughter warns me if she sees one, because watching Mommy have a panic attack is nobody’s idea of a good time at the Renaissance Festival) and the elf, while not a puppet, pings my meter because it moves when you’re not looking. (Even though I’d probably be the one moving it…) I’ve had multiple relatives try to buy us one, and tell me I’m a mean grinch for not wanting one in the house. I don’t mean to be a meanie, I just can’t handle it, and the kids don’t seem to care. We have enough fun Christmas stuff without it, thank you very much. (Not that I think others shouldn’t do it, I just wish they’d quit posting it on facebook, but that’s my hangup, not theirs.)
Erin F. says:
Wonderfully put – thank you!
Karen says:
Somehow, social media seems to have a way of ‘spoiling’ a lot of things. That’s not to say it spoils it for everyone, or that using social media is automatically a negative thing, but it’s the exact same thing we saw with the ice challenge earlier in the year. Plenty of genuine sincerity mingled with people who just want to jump on the band wagon. People get frustrated with the latter group but make the mistake of offending the former by lumping them all together.
I am indifferent about the elf. It doesn’t seem to be a huge thing here in Australia, or at least amongst my social network. I do know I prefer to shift the focus away from presents but that’s me. My choice, my beliefs. It’s sad how many times people forget the beautiful simplicity of minding one’s own business!
Susan says:
Wow, elf haters? It’s just like anything else, what is right for one may not be right for others. We don’t do elf. Never have and don’t plan to start but my co-workers certainly make me laugh with some of their antics.
Valeri says:
You’re so much more polite than I am about it. I don’t find it any creepier than Santa or the Tooth Fairy or the Easter Bunny or God.
Donna says:
I certainly don’t like the whole manipulate the children to behave a certain way, thing….so I don’t like the elf…..but I don’t particularly care if other people do….like you said, to each his own.
MrsFun says:
My kids think Elf on the shelf is creepy. This is a popular tradition that didn’t become popular until moms started blogging. And Santa doesn’t spill flour or draw eyebrows on dolls. The Elf is creepy and my kids agree. We joke about buying one every year just to mess with those that get offended by the opinion of those that find him creepy. *yawn*
He’s right there with Chucky, watching you, moving things around and watching you sleep. EEP!! But if it doesn’t creep you out, go for it. Our house will only buy an elf if he comes with a knife, matches and maybe a chainsaw…LOL!!!