Don’t Feed Her that.
Why did you feed her that?
That’s too weird for a baby to eat.
She gobbles down every bite without incident.
Where are her shoes?
Why is she wearing shoes?
It’s too cold for that outfit.
It’s too warm for that outfit.
She runs around hooting and hollering, impervious to the weather.
Why is she crying?
Why is she yelling?
You should feed her.
You should play with her.
She’s sleepy, and she needs to go to sleep.
You should sign her up for ballet like my daughter.
You should have her take French with my son.
My kid could speak full sentences at her age.
At her age my child was reading.
She is right on track, and she is learning new things every day.
I did it differently.
I did it better.
What possessed you to do this?
Why would you think to do that?
Because I am The Mom,
because I am HER mom,
and I know what’s best for my child.