Four years ago on the morning of the 2012 Presidential election, I jokingly asked Annabel who she was going to vote for. “Princesses!” she gleefully replied (this was smack in the middle of her Disney Princess phase). I was remembering this the other day and it got me thinking: the Disney Princesses are a pretty varied bunch, with a lot of different interests. It wasn’t hard for me to imagine what their driving political passions (and potential scandals) would be…
Anna from Frozen
Platform: Wants to open up the gates to refugees; strongly opposes walls and closed gates along borders.
Strengths: Loyal, willing to take risks, mean left hook.
Potential Scandals: Her judgement will be questioned if it’s revealed she became engaged to a man — who later tried to take over her kingdom — on the first day they met.
Elsa from Frozen
Platform: Environmental reform.
Strengths: Has experience leading a country, could single-handedly end global warming.
Potential Scandals: There’s a tiny little incident in her past where she almost killed thousands of people by freezing them to death, but she swears she has a handle on things now.
Tiana from The Princess and The Frog
Platform: Tax breaks for small business owners.
Strengths: Successful business woman, intelligent, hardworking, makes the best beignets.
Potential Scandals: Details could emerge about her hard-driving work ethic and how she put her dream of opening a restaurant above creating intimate, friendly relationships with others.
Snow White
Platform: Promises to rejuvenate the coal industry.
Strengths: Optimistic, kind, whistles while she works.
Potential Scandals: She might tumble in the polls when it’s revealed that she once lived with seven men at the same time.
Cinderella
Platform: Will raise the minimum wage across the country to a living wage.
Strengths: Her rags-to-riches story epitomizes the American Dream, making her relatable to the working class.
Potential Scandals: Her sanity could be questioned when it’s revealed she believes she can communicate with mice and birds.
Belle from Beauty and the Beast
Platform: Free college education for all.
Strengths: Intelligent, unconventional, well-read (she’s read every book in the library twice).
Potential Scandals: Her husband’s past beastly behavior will be a turnoff for some, but he isn’t running, she is.
Mulan
Platform: Better support and resources for Veterans.
Strengths: Former military officer, resourceful, incredibly skilled at cutting hair with a sword.
Potential Scandals: She broke the law to enlist in the military, which might not impress those who are sticklers for the rules (even though she did it to save her father).
Merida from Brave
Platform: Women’s rights, equal pay for equal work.
Strengths: Doesn’t conform to gender norms, quick-witted, excellent at archery (could run a class for Secret Service).
Potential Scandals: An explosive tell-all interview by a Scottish Highlands witch about the time Merida vengefully turned her mother into a bear could frighten off many voters.
RD says:
Alrighty, I’ve made my decision! Except…one big issue hanging me up (a lot…) before I can vote for her: what if it’s been found out that she tried to cover up her husband’s past beastly behavior, that she intimidated people into not revealing it, that she looked past it publicly?? Once I can figure out how to manage that in my head and heart, I’m all good! (There’s also no other option, so working this out is *very* important to me.)
Heather says:
When reached for comment, Belle’s campaign manager, Cogsworth, said, “Don’t believe the decades-long smear campaign perpetuated by Gaston and the townspeople. Belle is an overly-qualified candidate whose resume speaks for itself.”
Nellie says:
OMG, this was insanely brilliant! Need to make this into a cute picture book…SERIOUSLY!
Casey says:
“but her husband isn’t running, she is.” LOL! Love it!!
Lynn says:
Brilliant, clever, thought-provoking. I can’t make up my mind. They all are winners.
Alyssa says:
Very, very clever and quite funny! I honestly have no idea who I would vote for. Can we just have them all in the government in some way LOL. I think you now need to make ones for Ariel, Pocahontas, Aurora and Rapunzel too!
Laura says:
I love this! I don’t think we could go wrong with any of them…
Erin says:
I’m loving these candidates a WHOLE lot more than our current choices.
Julie says:
All the heart emojis. This made my day!
Yvette M says:
Yessss!! TO all of this – brilliant!!
Toni says:
Perfect, made my day!
Di says:
Omg. LOVE!
I have sent a link out to everyone I know. Expect lots of new traffic,..or not. I don’t know lots of people. Haha. #I’mwithher
Kelly says:
You are seriously so funny. I love your sense of humor. You are my bestest internet not-really-friend.
twingles says:
If only we had some of these options, or any other options, than bad and worse like we’ve got *sigh*
Kakali says:
Very well written Heather! Loved it! You are so brilliant!
Bonna says:
Thank you VERY much! This has made a trying day end on a high note. Very clever. You MUST include the others that were mentioned in a previous comment. Very well written
Auntie_M says:
These were brilliant! You should definitely be a Disney Princess campaign manager!
Lisa says:
This is the BESTEST EVER!!!!!!!
Bianca says:
Fabulously satirical. Well done!
LD's Mom says:
Love it! I’m with Belle.
Lesley says:
This is wonderful, hurray for a whole pack of women candidates to consider!
Jordan says:
I SUPPORT ALL OF THESE CANDIDATES. Can we have all of them work together as President?!? It’d be better than our current candidates combined!
I especially appreciate belle’s “her husband isn’t running, she is” retort!! You’re the best, Heather Spohr.
Allie says:
I’m voting for belle
Emily says:
I saw this post online https://www.bustle.com/articles/191276-how-each-disney-princesses-would-vote-at-this-point-in-the-election?utm_source=outbrain&utm_medium=pro&utm_campaign=objune&sr_source=lift_outbrain and it reminded me of your post here. It’s different, but kind of feels like they ripped of your idea :\