Predeceased

In the days following Maddie’s passing I began reading the LA Times’ obituary section – for reasons a grief therapist could explain, I’m sure – but never stopped. I continue to read them to this day. I do this not to be morbid, but  because I enjoy reading people’s life stories. It is amazing how someone’s entire life – triumphs and failures, family and friends – can be encapsulated into just…

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Silenced

Laughter used to fill our home. Our walls were falling down from all the noise. Children are rarely quiet, but our Madeline? She was NEVER quiet. Smiles used to brighten our lives. We couldn’t imagine things being any better. Even with the possibility of our second child on the horizon, the extinguished light makes it…

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Resemblance

I had my weekly OB appointment yesterday. Binky is doing great and Dr. Risky is very pleased with his/her growth. There are no blood clots! Unfortunately, MY PLACENTA!!! is still the rub. While it is forming really well, its position is still cause for concern. It’s the kind of thing that would normally be a…

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Not A Drop To Drink

My mom comes to our house every Tuesday to spend time with us. Tuesdays, as I’ve mentioned, are bad for me. It marks another week since the worst day of our lives, another week we are going on without Madeline. Mike is always busy on Tuesday nights, so my mom and I make ourselves busy….

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Reverie

That face. How I miss that beautiful face. Today was one of those days when the sheer horror of what happened was front and center in my mind. “My daughter is dead,” I would think. “My daughter is dead.” The preceding is a sentence that, no matter how many times I say it, always sounds…

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