Stages

They say there are seven stages of grief, and that you’re supposed to go from one stage to another. I go through most of the stages every day. Shock – I was in shock watching the doctors and nurses give my daughter chest compressions, shock when the doctors stopped trying to save her, and shock…

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Worry Spohr-t

I have always been a bit of a worry wort. The other day, for example, I saw a man walking his dog without a leash and immediately felt sick. What if the dog took off into the street and got hit by a car? Or suddenly was attacked by a bigger dog? The owner, I’m sure, would tell…

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Grief Dance

There is a lot of pressure that comes with grieving. Every day, we get watched, observed, sized up. People are constantly looking to us to set the tone. We can hear them holding their breath, waiting for us to smile, or laugh, or cry. We are also holding our breath, waiting to see how people…

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Inquisitive Cutie

Maddie was such a curious little girl. I remember one occasion when I was holding her in the NICU. She was on my lap facing me, but her eyes were focused on the nursing staff bustling behind me. And even though I know newborns can’t see well (especially preemies), but I could swear that she…

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Applause

I’ve joked about Maddie being my sidekick but she really was. We took her everywhere with us. We weren’t those people that just brought their kid inappropriate places or anything like that. We only brought her when she was invited – and she was always invited. Last June we went to a party in honor…

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