This last Christmas, Madeline was spoiled rotten. As the only girl on Mike’s family’s side, and the only grandchild in my family, the grandparents couldn’t help themselves no matter how many times we warned them not to go overboard. When we finally arrived home after two big family bashes, our car was so packed with toys and clothes you couldn’t see out the back window.
Mike and I were very determined to spoil Maddie with love and not with toys and such, so we put a lot of things away with the intention of bringing them out slowly over the course of the year. Some things were supposed to be for when she was older, and other things we thought she’d enjoy once she got past the initial excitement of some of the other toys. You can only get away with hiding toys and doling them out over an extended time period until a kid reaches a certain age, so we were definitely going to take advantage.
As I’ve been slowly going through bags and boxes, I’ve come across a lot of the things we’d been saving for Maddie. And I feel badly that she had all these toys that she never got to enjoy, toys that were given to her by the people who loved her so they could see her smile. I know that she didn’t want for anything, but it’s hard not to let even the smallest things make me feel guilty.
I take comfort in seeing her smiles from Christmas, and the videos I have of her interacting with her new toys.
If you can’t see the video above, click here.
I know how much Maddie loved to share EVERYTHING – her food, her kisses, and especially her hugs – so I don’t think she’ll mind sharing some of her toys with her little sister. And while we’ll still strive to spoil Binky with love not stuff, we’ll make sure she understands that sometimes, it’s more than just “stuff.”
{ 70 comments… read them below or add one }
Adorable video. I’m sure Binky will cherish each of those toys when she learns her big sister shared them with her!
.-= Anne Y´s last blog ..Calling all Breast Cancer Survivors & Supporters! =-.
Not really a reply, but I want to make sure that everyone votes for Heather’s blog so that she can get $1000 for Madeline’s foundation. Voting closes on Monday!! It appears we can vote often and without restriction. Heather’s blog and another blog are in the lead, but only 1% separates them!! Vote NOW…
http://pregnant.thebump.com/extras/mommy-blog-awards/articles/baby-journal-blog-finalists.aspx
I have been voting for the past 35 minutes, and have seen Heather’s blog go down to 44%….We can do this for Maddie….I get 5 votes in every minute…..GO VOTE for MADDIE!!!!!http://pregnant.thebump.com/extras/mommy-blog-awards/articles/baby-journal-blog-finalists.aspx
You raised a sweet little girl and I bet, like you said, that Maddie would just love to share her most-loved things with her favorite baby-sister. I’m sure she would be the first one to offer everything she had to Binky. After pulling out all of her best treasure and piling it in front of Binky (even her beloved Abby Cadabby doll would be in there, I’m sure), Maddie would plop down next to Binky, hand things to her one by one, speak to her in a little baby-babble and then squeal with delight that Binky likes her toys.
And, an added bonus: with Binky using Maddie’s hand-me-downs, Maddie will always be near. To y’all and Binky.
I certainly pray for you, Mike, your family and his everyday. I feel like you and Mike have some serious cosmic-brownie-points racked up and in like January or February, you should definitely be allowed to cash in on them.
Good Morning dear sweet lady,
Precious, just so precious, I love watching your precious videos of your darling girl. Every time I watch your Maddie with your or Mike, the love you all have for each other shines right through my computer screen. Heather, you are Mike are such amazing parents and its so clear to see how you cherished every precious moment with your darling Maddie and celebrated every moment together. And you have your special records of those special moments, although by no means are there enough, never enough. Its so unfair your time together was cut so short, so very unfair. Thank you for sharing with your readers. You continue to be an ispiration to us and continue to make us better people. As always its an honour to see the World Famous Maddie on my computer screen.
I wish you a peaceful week-end and hope that you are putting your feet up.
Hugs
Erica in Luxembourg
I’m sure Maddie would be more than happy to share, just to see the delight on her baby sister’s face and share in that too. Love to you all, I hope you are feeling well.
.-= Kate @ UpsideBackwards´s last blog ..Eye-drops, or, The Power of Bribes =-.
I am sure that Maddie won’t mind sharing… It’s good babies that learn how to share. Maddie had grandparents too who loved her, which is another blessing. And I am not talking toys here… As a grand parent myself now I know how much you want to spoil the little thing, and how they capture your heart…
Thanks for sharing another special video. And I am sure you are right, Maddie would love for her little sister to share her toys. Her sweet disposition really shines through in the videos, photos and your words. What a beautiful soul.
I really think you guys have the right idea in mind with not spoiling either of the girls with toys. Please don’t feel guilty. No one (with a brain) would ever doubt that you and Mike spoiled Maddie with oceans of love and the thing kids want most: your undivided attention.
Hugs!
Whenever you post videos of Maddie, is clear that not only she was having a blast, but you guys were too. So much love and happiness is obvious in everything you write and post about your memories of Maddie. It is something for everyone to keep in mind – to take joy in these little moments that we sometimes just let pass by because we’re so busy with other things.
xo from CT,
Amanda
.-= amanda´s last blog ..not for all the money in the world would I go back to this time in my life =-.
It must be so difficult to come across the toys that were given to Maddie on that happy Christmas. No doubt, Maddie would happily share them with Binky.
.-= Lynn from For Love or Funny´s last blog ..Why the face? =-.
I love the part at the very end of the video where Maddie reaches for Mike and he instantly swoops her up. I agree that is what it’s all about, not the toys. What a precious girl!
.-= JAR´s last blog ..Sword Fighting =-.
Precious!
.-= Jen´s last blog ..tiles =-.
I love the ending where she reaches for Mike. There is no better feeling than a child reaching for you with a smile.
Maddie is so loved – never feel guilty about the other “stuff”.
Hugs.
I love the idea of spoiling children with love. The world would be a better place if all parents had that attitude. And you have no reason to feel guilty, you and Mike are wonderful parents, Maddie and Binky are as lucky to have you as you are to have them. Be kind to yourself, you deserve it. ~Susan
.-= Susan (woo222)´s last blog ..Weekend of Petty Crime =-.
That video made me smile– such a sweet, sweet soul she had. She would have been the best big sister. She still is, somehow, from wherever she is. But, obviously, it’s not the same. And it’s not fair.
.-= Scary Mommy´s last blog ..The Top 10 Things I learned in NYC =-.
Hi Honey,
Ohh Maddie was so happy during Christmas. Heck…she was even happy playing with cardboard!!! Please don’t feel guilty. Think of the new toys for Binky as a gift from Maddie….and how special will that be!
Have a good day dear one.
My favorite part is the end when she reaches up for her daddy! I could watch videos of her all day long. She looks like a little elf in her striped PJs. And I hope you are able to get past the feelings of guilt, because you have no reason whatsoever to feel guilty.
(((hugs)))
.-= Deborah´s last blog ..A Very Bad Picture of a Very Fast Sketch =-.
Take care of yourself lady. You (and your family) are in my prayers.
Heather – you are so amazing. Don’t think for a second that Maddie missed out on anything – it’s quite obvious that even in her in tiny little life, she experienced more love and adoration than most who live to be 90. Guilt is something that automatically comes with motherhood – but really, you’re an amazing mother and have nothing to feel guilty about. Maddie was loved, and she knew it.
Please remember to vote for this blog – you can find the link two posts ago!
Its amazing how sometimes material things do take on special meanings. Binky will have a special connection to her sister and one way is through those hand-me downs.
.-= Delenn´s last blog ..Corn Maze =-.
I love to get and give hand me downs- sometimes you can smell the love. Although sometimes there are some items I can’t bear to part with.
I have these light blue pant from Old Navy that slipped right on both my kids. They wore them all the time in the first three months. Cotton and simple but I just couldn’t bear to part with it. It seemed almost silly they cost me like $5- they sit up in the kids room in a basket I save their baby stuff in
.-= Susan´s last blog ..Taking Action =-.
That video is adorable.
I’m sure Maddie would have loved sharing her toys with Binky. And, I’m sure Binky will love knowing that some of her toys belonged to her much loved big sister.
Love and hugs.
.-= Lisa´s last blog ..Helping Your Child Curb Their Car Sickness =-.
SOOOOO sweet! Of course she would want to share. She is a sweet and precious girl. Thanks for sharing.
Oh, Heather, you are made of such strength.
And I know it’s Binky that’s given you reason to go on…and survive, minute by minute.
Heather, such a beautiful video of your sweet Maddie! I think she would love to share her toys and everything with her baby sister! I am sorry Maddie didn’t get to play with all of her toys, but know that she really is ok with that. You gave that little angel everything she wanted and needed. There is no one out there could have been a better parent to her, you two were, and are, amazing! Love from AZ, Patty
Oh, that Binky will get “gifts” from her sister sounds so wonderful. Sometimes “stuff” holds a lot of meaning.
.-= patois´s last blog ..More Unjustifed Outrage Coming to a Blog Near You =-.
Must be so hard to come across those things and the thoughts/memories they must bring up. I’m sure Maddie would have been the best biggest sister ever and would have willingly shared whatever she had with Binky. My eldest daughter, 4, loves to share with her baby sister, 1. We didn’t “teach” her… she just wants to bring a smile to her little sister’s face. (I just asked my eldest why she likes to share and she said because “L” is her friend.) I’m sure Maddie would have been the same way. Thinking of you each and every day with love. love and hugs from NJ.
Oh how I wish that you and Mike could just reach out and give that girl such a huge hug!
Binky’s going to love sharing Maddie’s toys and knowing how much Maddie enjoyed playing with them.
.-= Karen´s last blog ..Peek a Boo =-.
You’re right on two counts. 1) To realize that love is more important than stuff. But 2) to realize that sometimes that stuff is a manifestation of love. And when she inherits Maddie’s toys the love will be doubled – the love from Maddie, and the love from the person who loved her enough to give her the gift.
I have no doubt that she’ll understand at a young age that it’s more than just “stuff”. You two are wonderful parents.
.-= Badass Geek´s last blog ..In Which I Do It Again =-.
You have nothing to feel guilty about. Maddie was the happiest baby I have ever seen: she radiated it.
I love that Binky will get “presents” from her big sister. I’m a big sister, and I’ll admit, I was NOT good at sharing: in fact, I would routinely hide my sister’s favorite toy (that didn’t even belong to me in the first place!) just to make her mad.
But Maddie was infinitely more generous even as a toddler than my bratty self was at 8 years old. She would have taken joy in sharing with Binks, I’m sure of it.
I can’t wait to see a video of Binky enjoying one of Maddie’s gifts to her and screaming “WOOOOW” at the camera.
No, I don’t think she would mind at all. Try not to feel guilty. You didn’t know what was in the future. And you were making sure that the things she got from the people whom loved her would be used and appreciated as part of the reason you kept some hidden away. Her loved ones won’t mind Binky having them, either. I know it will bring all of you so much joy to have another little girl to share love and “stuff” with. {{{hugs}}}
.-= Tara.´s last blog ..My Kitchen Window- Part II. =-.
I love the “spoil with love not stuff” sentiment. It is a wonderful parenting philosophy. I can’t imagine how hard it is to go through all those toys – I’m sure Maddie would want to share, it’s wonderful that you are able to do it for her.
Binky is already spoiled with love, and I know she’ll know the stuff isn’t just stuff, it’s part of what she shares with her sister.
.-= Sara Joy´s last blog ..For the Love of a Horse =-.
That is an adorable video, you can see how happy she truly was! God Bless.
.-= Courtney´s last blog ..Stand Still =-.
That video is too cute for words. What a happy, sweet, loving baby girl! What a wonderful heart your Madeline had. You clearly know what you are doing as parents! I am so thrilled for both Maddie and Binky to be blessed by your love!
xoxoxoxo
We do the same thing with toys. I’m so glad that Binky will be able to enjoy some of Maddie things (and so impressed with Maddie’s sharing skills)!
PS: I’m sorry to hear that coming across all that stuff again makes you feel guilty. I think that as parents we feel guilty no matter what, but as somebody said above, Maddie sure seemed to be th world’s happiest baby. You guys did something right! Try to go easy on yourself
Heather, Don’t feel guilty. It’s evident that you and Mike were great parents to Maddie and showered her with love and then toys
but that’s okay. It was out of the enormous love you have for her. I’m sure Maddie would LOVE to share with Binky. Have a relaxing weekend. Take care of YOU and BINKY. Sending you hugs!! XXX
Good morning Heather…another beautiful video. Feeling guilty is what we parents just do but you have nothing to regret. You, Mike and your family and friends obviously loved Maddie so much and really, that is all she needed. I felt, when my children were little, that my husband and I were their favorite toys! No matter what we surrounded them with, they always looked to us to be there, laughing, loving and caring just like you and Mike. Thank you for sharing such lovely memories…and making Maddie one of our own.
P.S. Can we vote early and vote often?? You are the best!
What a cute vidoe, im so happy you have taken so many pictures and vidoes of Maddie. I hope you are doing well. Thought of you last night, Jay Leno had Matt Laur on!
.-= Erin´s last blog ..Thinking Back =-.
Love not stuff. Truly that is what is important.
*HUGS*
I’m sure Maddie is thrilled to share with Binky.
You & your family are so sweet. True that guilt seems to come with motherhood. I hope it eases up on you!!!
Best wishes & continued prayers/good vibes for Binky to have a full-term time growing in you! xoxo
That was so cute! She seemed ready to get off that ride.
It looks like she’s thinking, “You guys are CRAZY!” LOL!
I bet she will LOVE that you’re going to let Binky share her toys. Maddie was a giver in her heart so you know this is exactly what she would have wanted.
You are such a great writer. It doesn’t matter what you are writing about, you always make me feel like I’m right there with you.
You’re also an amazing photographer, those photos that you’ve posted of Maddie are so wonderful, it’s almost like her bright eyes are just looking into mine and that those smiles are for me.
She’s a beautiful girl. Binky will love hearing about her.
Thank you so much for sharing your special video’s and pictures with us.. I am new to the blog, but your story has touched me so deeply. I greatly admire your strength and the poise that you carry yourself in day after day. Thank you for being an inspiration to all of us that life does have to continue. I will continue to watch and read your blog and be blessed by it.
And while we’ll still strive to spoil Binky with love not stuff, we’ll make sure she understands that sometimes, it’s more than just “stuff.”
^^I loved that last line. Binky will love and cherish her sister’s toys with all her heart. <3
i couldn’t agree more…..that was so beautifully heartbreaking.
If Binky is anything like me, she’ll treasure Maddy’s toys even more once she finds out they belonged to Big Sis Maddy. I can just see Maddy now, clapping her hands in delight as Binky plays with the toys.
Sweet, so very sweet. Love the way she reaches up for Daddy:)
.-= Katrina´s last blog ..# 7 and #8 =-.
What a sweetheart!
Maddie won´t mind sharing, and it will make Binky feel so much closer to her big sister. I mean, what spells little sister more than hand me downs! My youngest daughter is so used to hand me downs, that last week when the dentist mentioned she may need braces like her big sister she said, OK, I can wear Eira´s when they are too small for her!
My own daughter had a daughter after 3 sons, and all the hand-me-downs are boy stuff, but hey what the heck? In this economy why can’t girls wear boys things? Besides my one and only granddaughter is a tom boy………figures!
Beautiful video, and I love watching all the little videos you share and all the beautiful pictures of Maddie. It is quite obvious that you and Mike and the rest of your families dearly loved Maddie, and you’ll all love Binky just as much.
If I were Binky, I would be honored to have my older sister’s toys and things.
I do the same thing with my kids. Binky will be a very lucky little girl! Keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers! <<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>
these toys will be even more special because they will have the memories of her special sister attached to them.
.-= Momma Uncensored´s last blog ..bull =-.
you’re a terrific mommy, and Maddie still lives through your words, your soul, your tears..and I think it’s amazing the steps you’re taking along this journey that you’ve been dealt with.
Thinking of you all from Chicago and just wanted to say I really admire your mommy skills. they’re legendary.
ALways,
one CRusty-Mom-E
.-= ONE CRUSTY MOM-E´s last blog ..The Blue Pill Spam =-.
I had to leave another quick comment to tell you that I watched this video several times today because every time I opened my laptop my daughter said “more mammie (her way of saying maddie!) movies”.
.-= Lisa´s last blog ..Making the Cut =-.
i love your blog, but it’s difficult for me to see the text against the dark purple background. thanks!
victoria
newport news, virginia
Hi Victoria,
Thank you for reading. That’s weird, though – the background should be white! What internet browser are you using? Maybe there is a bug I can fix.
You are such great parents.
Don’t feel guilty you were doing what you knew was best for her, just as you always did
Always in my prayers (especially today)
What a cute video! I’m sure Binky will treasure the toys that were Maddie’s but even more, she’ll treasure the pictures, videos and stories of her big sister. And I’m sure Maddie will be watching Binky playing with her toys and loving every minute
wow, thanks for getting back to me! i use internet explorer for email and mozilla firefox for blogs.
my youngest son is in college and my oldest is in the military.
when will you “get over it”? never.
everything helps, and nothing helps.
thanks again for replying!
victoria
C’mon you guys! We have fallen behind 1% in the Best Baby Blog poll. Keep on going!
Let’s make sure that everyone votes for Heather’s blog so that she can get $1000 for Madeline’s foundation. Voting closes on Monday!! It appears we can vote often and without restriction. Heather’s blog and another blog are in the lead, but only 1% separates them!! Vote NOW…
http://pregnant.thebump.com/extras/mommy-blog-awards/articles/baby-journal-blog-finalists.aspx
You must miss her more each day.
Faith….Hope….Love….Peace.
.-= mythoughtsonthat´s last blog ..I Wish I Knew =-.
Heather-
You’re truly an inspiration. Your entries are so full of love, towards Maddy and Binky, and Mike too… The way that you have expressed yourself through your blog is so touching, and caring, and makes me wish that I could give you one massive hug through the internet.
I have a 6 month old, and have been going through postpartum depression. Your blog has truly moved me and inspired me to be a better mom…, and has helped me to get through my own issues.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart!
Heather,
Never having met Maddie in real life, I can only say judging by that smile and those eyes, she would absolutely love to share her toys, her clothes and her hugs with her younger sister.
I’m sending you guys my love, my warmest wishes and my prayers for your family.
Take care and lots of love.
.-= Vic´s last blog ..friends =-.
That video is adorable Heather!
I voted for you. xoxo
.-= Sarcastica´s last blog ..When You’re Just Not A Fashionista =-.
Share as much of Maddie’s stuff as you can, I’d say. If you can. YOU. I think it would be an honour for her sister to play with her things, etc. It’s just a matter of if you can handle it okay.
These videos make me cry every time.
Been voting, btw, of course!
((hugs))
.-= Haley-O (Cheaty)´s last blog ..A Very Cheaty Announcement…. =-.
{ 1 trackback }