I went through some old email tonight, looking for a very important piece of information. While looking, I stumbled upon pictures of Madeline that I hadn’t seen since they’d been taken. I was transported back to the moments, precious memories flooding back.
Our mornings sleeping in, snuggling…
She never met a stranger…
She curled her toes the same way I do…
Swinging was one of her favorite things in the world…
She could make herself comfortable anywhere…
When she sat in her stroller, she always pointed one foot forward, leading the way…
Sitting in my arms while we pretended to drive Bampa’s car on a warm January day…
I cherish these memories of my little girl. My sweet, perfect daughter.
{ 97 comments… read them below or add one }
Sweet, perfect and stunningly beautiful. I’m glad you stumbled upon these and shared them with the rest of us!
You are loved so very very much and so is she. *hugs*
Oh, Heather.
She is so luminously beautiful, and now her light knows no bounds.
At times it feels so good to see things back that we forgot were there. It works especially well with photographs. She was perfect and beautiful…
.-= catherine lucas´s last blog ..Babies and scallops =-.
So nice you found those pictures!! Thanks for sharing!
Some bonds can never be broken. A mother-daughter bond is one of them. She is and will be a part of you forever.
Thank goodness for little girls and little curls. She is magnified sweetness!
I’m always amazed at the length of Maddie’s eyelashes…
.-= Lynn from For Love or Funny´s last blog ..Keep moving, there’s nothing to see here =-.
Oh my God, I love those pics! Thank you for sharing.
xo from CT,
Amanda
I really hope you have LOTS more surprises like that. Sweet, forgotten treasures that pop up with beautiful memories to help you through dark times and places. She is pure light, absolute perfection
love and hugs to you all
.-= Kelly´s last blog ..Yum!! =-.
O Heather what precious memories indeed, your precious Maddie is just so adorable and so very beautiful. Thank you for sharing these precious memories with us. Looking at photos of your darling girl always brings a tear to my eye, a smile too though at how she always has her very own look and style. Your darling girl is loved by so many people all over the world, people who never even met her. She has changed our lives and is remembered by us every day. I think of you all every day, dear sweet Heather. I was so sorry to read of your latest pregnancy difficulties but as always you are taking it in your stride, you continue to be an inspiration especially the way you deal with the most difficult of situations. You are an amazing lady, Heather.
With love
Erica
Such a beautiful, sweet girl!
.-= ClassyFabSarah´s last blog ..Giveaways Galore. Seriously. =-.
I love seeing your photos of Madeline. What a beautiful little girl with a wonderful smile.
.-= Liz´s last blog ..Link =-.
She’s is so pretty…..
.-= Andria´s last blog ..Dance Off =-.
Sweet sweet girl. I hope that on your worst days you may find many more treasures like this.
.-= charlane´s last blog ..So this is Christmas… =-.
Absolute perfection.
.-= Diane´s last blog ..Two scoops, one cone =-.
So SO Sweet Heather…thank you for sharing! What nice surprise!
Your life change forever when she as born and it changed again when you lost her. The one thing that will always be constant is your WONDERFUL memories. She is definitely a beautiful blessing.
I was listening to the radio yesterday and heard this song for the first time and instantly thought of you and Mike and Maddie. I am always amazed how no matter the situation, there’s a song out there to help you put things in perspective, or heal your soul, or just let you cry. I wanted to share the lyrics with you here. May you hold on to your precious memories as they will see you through so many difficult times.
One More Day
By Rocket Club
http://www.faithslodge.org
I’ll never ge to hold you
I’ll never hear your sweet voice sing
I’ll never get to say ‘I told you so’
I’ll never read to you, or get to teach you anything
But you’ll always be my hope
You’ll always be my first light
You’re always gonna be daddy’s little girl
You’ll always be the strength I need to make it in this world
I only wish for one more day
I’m gonna miss your first day at school
I’ll never see you turn that page
I’ll never see you in your graduation gown
And I’m never gonna see you coming of age
But you’ll always be my hope
You’ll always be my first light
You’re always gonna be mommy’s little girl
You’ll always be the strength I need to make it in this world
I only wish for one more day
Sweet angel of mercy
Coming down to comfort me
Faith, sit right here beside me
I never want you to go away
You’ll always be our hope
You’ll always be our first light
You’re always gonna be our little girl
You’ll always be the strength we need to make it in this world
We only wish for one more day
We only wish for one more day
.-= Michelle´s last blog ..Proof that Opposites Attract =-.
That’s so beautiful. Heather, I love seeing these new pictures of your radiant “first light,” and I know I speak for everyone on here when I say we can’t wait to welcome the new light of your life with you in 2010. (Hear that, Binks? 2010!)
Oh, my. Many tears coming from reading those lyrics. Michelle, thank you for sharing! And Heather – Madeline can only be described as luminous. Her face, her eyes, her smile, all radiated joy, pure joy. I know it is possible to love someone you never met, because I love Madeline and your beautiful family. Best of luck and lots of hugs, always!
perfect little angel
.-= Momma Uncensored´s last blog ..dinstinct orders. =-.
I’m so happy that you came across these photos!
(((hugs)))
She really is perfect Heather. The ironic thing is….I miss Maddie so much even though I didn’t have the honour of meeting her. Because of you & MIke,, so many of us “Stranger Friends” not only know about Maddie….but, we have fallen completely, head over heals in love with her!!
The baby girl on the computer with the big beautiful eyes, contagious laughter and never ending smiling…ohh how we grief her loss with you…..
Perfect. Beautiful.
Thank you for sharing with us. What a pretty little light she is!
.-= AmberMc´s last blog ..LAS VEGAS! =-.
Hugs to you oxo
I love the picture of her being comfy on the couch! Thank you so much for sharing these.
.-= Corinne´s last blog ..What it’s about =-.
I always smile whenever I see Maddie pictures. Always have. She’s such a love, Heather.
xox
.-= Aunt Becky´s last blog ..Because The Real Reason I Had Kids Was To Buy All The Stuff My Parents Wouldn’t Buy Me =-.
Seeing pictures of Maddie smiling is one of my favorite things to find when I come here to read your posts. I miss her. It must be such a special little gift to see pictures of her again that you haven’t seen in a while.
Love and hugs sweet lady.
.-= Lisa´s last blog ..Our Gingerbread House =-.
I wonder why you found those photos now. Must be a reason she wanted you to look through some of those. Great pictures.
She is so beautiful… how wonderful that you can find these pictures and have sweet memories of your baby. She feels so very much alive when I see those photos…
what gorgeous memories!
I just wanted to thank you for responding to my sister yesterday. She also had a premie and is now pregnant with a second and trying hard to avoid another premie. She was so excited to hear from you. She called me right away. I think if she ever gets the chance to meet you she will get her picture with you and ask for your autograph. You are her blog movie star. Thank you!!
I have never left a comment, but now feel compelled to. What a beautiful little girl. It breaks my heart that she is not “here” with you, but I know she is “with” you.
She is so beautiful.
Perfect! Thanks so much for sharing.
.-= jen´s last blog ..send in the clowns =-.
Such an amazing and beautiful little girl.
.-= Melanie´s last blog ..Getting to know me! =-.
Stumbling upon little treasures like this must bring you to bittersweet tears! I am sure your sweet Maddie is still leading the way and snuggling with you in your dreams.
((((HUGS)))) to you from Florida
Maddie has the sweetest face I have ever seen!
How beautiful she is and those memories are! God Bless.
Adorable. I think of her every day.
So beautiful! I love her little foot in the stroller, how adorable. Thank you for sharing your love for her with us.
.-= Erin´s last blog ..Pumpkin Domination =-.
Oh my heart!
Beautiful.
So sweet!!!!! Sorry I haven’t commented much, Jude was in the hospital again. Hope you are doing better now that you are on rest. I hated being on the medication to stop contractions, hope your tolerance is better than mine
My heart feels your pain. I wish I had more words, but there’s too much I’m feeling to write. Beautiful pictures and so many memories.
I am SO heartbroken that she is not with you anymore. It is an absolute injustice to this world that Madeline has gone from it. I’m so glad for your pictures, videos, and precious memories. Oh, how I wish you had even more.
Ditto. It is so unfair.
((Hugs))
Beautiful Girl. (((HUGS))))
Big hug………
The two times I met Maddie, she was comfortable. She could be comfortable on a hardwood floor. THAT was talent, I say.
Heather, she is so gorgeous… just so gorgeous.
.-= Maternal Mirth´s last blog ..Coo-Coo for Christmastime: Maternal Mirth’s Christmas Cookies =-.
Oh how beautiful she is Heather. I am grateful that you are able to share those exquisite and precious details about Madeline. I imagine those lovely traits growing forward to were Maddie’s toe points. Never meeting a stranger, being comfortable anywhere, she was an extraordinary child and I wish you had a lifetime with her. As always, thank you sharing your beloved daughter and your heart with us.
.-= Kelly´s last blog ..Thank You =-.
She was almost cat-like in her movements. Her unusual positions of comfort that of a cat who could be comfortable anywhere. Her smile is one I see all the time. Though I never met her in person, her smile just makes me smile.
She was beautiful and precious. I am blessed to see her in your blog. <3
Heather…I have never felt such an urge to hug a ‘stranger’ before. Your posts from today and yesterday make me see you as a hero. I truly believe that not too many could continue to be as witty, and as brave as you are. Keepin’ an eye on you and Binky… (and Rigby)
Ah… what a honey.
how precious and heart breaking at the same time.
Heartbreaking… love the pics you share…. she’s beautiful… sending you hugs XXX Have a good weekend!
She is adorable …. I loved looking at all of those pictures …. especially the one where she points the way with her foot, how cute is that?
Finding these old pictures must feel like such a gift. I only wish you could hold the real deal again. . . . thank you for sharing your Maddie with the world. Hugs.
Sweet, beautiful Madeline with her sweet, beautiful Mommy. So precious.
xoxo
so beautiful. what a gift to have found those.
.-= nic @mybottlesup´s last blog ..nip & tuck here, botox there… and go. =-.
What a special treasure! Beautiful Maddie!
.-= Michelle Pixie´s last blog ..Postal =-.
I love the pictures of Maddie sleeping. There is something so sweet about that.
I’m also always struck by Maddie’s good style sense. Can’t wait to see Binky’s style emerging too
Happy weekend, Heather and Mike.
I hope you keep finding these little surprises. It must be so amazing to discover them.
.-= Andrea’s Sweet Life´s last blog ..Why =-.
I love whenever I hear that you stumble across something. And I love the leg foward, leading the way, that seems so much like the Maddie I grew to know through your words.
.-= Kellee´s last blog ..Love Thursday =-.
Beautiful. Maddie is forever a beautiful baby angel. Thank you for sharing such sweet pics of your little girl.
.-= Aimee @ Ain’t Yo Mama’s Blog´s last blog ..Foodie Friday: The Festival (And Feast) Of Lights =-.
(((Heartfelt hugs))).
The photo in the car seat….Is your garage floor that clean and shiny or were you in a car showroom? Looks like spic-n-span tiles.
She is just beautiful. Love the long leg she has pointed …leading the way. Adorable
.-= Rebecca´s last blog ..What Would You Do? =-.
I think Madeline wanted you to find those photographs and she put them where you would find them. Your daughter was and is stunning and beautiful. As someone else posted before, Maddie’s Light knows no bounds, she is and always will be a part of your lives. Life is but a vapor and it is over before we know it. God’s time is not the same as ours. You could ask God a question and He would answer you, “I’ll give it to you in a minute”, and then that minute in Heaven’s time would be like 10 years in earth’s time.
Maddie will be waiting for you at Heaven’s gates when your time on this earth is up. I know you will scoop her in your arms and you’ll be together forever, never to part again. Binky and Rigby too. I believe that there are animals in Heaven.
I’m glad you found the pictures. What a little treasure!! I wish there were more.
.-= Jenny´s last blog ..Martha Stewart Can Kiss My Grits =-.
Precious! So very precious!
breathtaking.
Just thought I’d let you guys know that I have not forgotten Maddie: and that whenever I come to this site I mourn her still. I didn’t know her, but this little girl made an impact, here in far away corner of Australia, where she only ever stepped with a whisper of a memory and the blinding beauty of photograph on a computer screen.
Thankyou for sharing your story with me and many other strangers like me.
Jo
Just ran across a quote that made me think of you:
“Your absence has gone through me
Like thread through a needle.
Everything I do is stitched with its color.”
W.S. Merwin
“Separation”
Hello,
I’ve been reading your blog for over a year now through Matt and Maddy, and I now am reading Anissa’s blog. Her husband posted tonight about wanting to buy a tape recorder, just the plain one. Well they sell them at my Wal Mart, and I am sure that he has gotten one by now….but I am willing to buy it and send it to them. i don’t know how to comment on his page. Or would another monetary gift be better. thank you and my thoughts are with you and your family.
Nora Czarnecki
Wisconsin
Beautiful, sweet, Madeline. I never met you, but feel like I somehow have. How special your mom must be to be able to keep your memory so vivid for us all…
i so wish i could find some surprise pics of my man. sadly, they don’t exist.
.-= gorillabuns´s last blog ..i’m gonna have a blue christmas without you =-.
What gorgeous pictures
.-= Michele´s last blog ..Growing Up =-.
That last pic of you two is so amazing with the sun and your beautiful smiles.
I am so glad you were able to capture those moments and find them again.
Sending love and hugs your way today. xoxo
She’s gorgeous – love that first one… <3
I hope you continue to find forgotten pictures of your beautiful daughter. Must have been a lovely surprise for you both
The little things are the biggest things. Such sweet and precious memories. Such a sweet and precious girl.
I would give nearly anything if *she* could be found again, rather than her image, her memory, her smell. I say “nearly”, there are things I wouldn’t give up honestly (my child) – but I remember one of your posts that I found to be the most honest thing I’ve ever read on the Internet. I remember you saying that you would take anyone’s place, have anyone else sacrifice their child if it meant you could have yours – even you friends and loved ones. It was so honest, so brutally honest, and such a horrible thing for a mother to ever have to think of.
I am so grateful that you’ve shared Maddie with us, and am so crushed that there is nothing I can do to give that girl back to you. She lives in our hearts, I only wish that were enough.
Kymmi
You make me realize how important it is to capture every single sweet moment. I’m ever grateful to you for sharing your journey with Madeline with us.
Heather and Mike,
My heart is with you always. Those are precious pictures. I pray for comfort and peace during the holiday season for your hearts. God Bless.
Debby
.-= Debby´s last blog ..HAPPY HANUKKAH =-.
I think I have commented before about how I love the pictures of Maddie sleeping.
She was full of personality even when she was sleeping.
Such a little doll, she is.
Faith….Hope….Love….Peace.
.-= mythoughtsonthat´s last blog ..Just Playing The Game =-.
Oh, she is adorable. Maddie continues to be such a blessing to anyone that sees her and hears her stories through you. So precious. Thinking of your heart.
Steph
.-= Adventures In Babywearing´s last blog ..Nintendo DS Lite [Blog • Bid • Hope] =-.
Beautiful. Just Beautiful. Thank you for sharing her with all of us.
.-= Kim @ Beautiful Wreck´s last blog ..Clarity =-.
Sweet, precious baby
I love that photo of her titled, “She could make herself comfortable anywhere!” So sweet. And her leading the way in her stroller with her right foot, made me totally laugh out loud. “SO ADORABLE!” And I love that photo of you and her in your father’s car. Sweetness.
On your two previous posts:
I hope that you and Rigby get better soon, and that the contractions stop for you completely until Binky arrives. I also hope that your other discomforts soon go away. And a “Happy Belated Birthday to Mike!” To comment a caption on Maddie’s shirt in that post, “She was definitely WORTH the wait!” <3
Take, care.
(You'll be in my prayers.)
Maddie, so dear, so very beautiful, so unbelievably heartbreaking. The pain is always there for our lost children, some days inexplicably worse than others. The holiday season is harder, but we’ll get through, as we must.
Holding you in my heart tonight.
Precious memories I know… wish I could have met her, held her and smooched her sweet neck! She oozed cuteness!!! Pretty sure there will never be another Maddie…. she was special thats for sure.
Cant wait to “meet” Binky… I have no doubt she will be every bit as precious as Maddie… she has cute genes!
Merry Christmas to you and Mike
ps… hows Riley’s tummy?
31 weeks!!! Woo hoo!
Thought of you today!!
I am the cousin of Matt Logelin’s deceased wife Lizzie. I began following your blog when Matt mentioned the tragedy of the loss of Maddie. I’ve been reading you virtually daily since then. I’m slightly concerned that the last post was on 11 Dec. Hope all is well w/ Binky, Rigby, Mike and you.
Barb….Heather doesn’t post on the weekend. I’m sure she is just fine. I did see her on Twitter. I’m sure she’ll post tomorrow.No Worries!
Heather…..see how much we all love ya!!??!
The picture of her in the stroller holding her leg out may be the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. How wonderful that you took the picture in the first place, and how terrific that you found it after all this time.
Thinking of you.
.-= Must Be Motherhood´s last blog ..Surfing the Wave =-.
So sweet and beautiful. I’m so sorry that she wasn’t able to stay on Earth with you. I have no doubt that she is watching over you all.
*hugs*