Dear Binky,
I have written down plenty of little notes to you, but I thought it was time I wrote you a proper letter. I wrote your older sister letters all the time (I still do), and someday I will share them with you.
We’ve been watching you grow for some time now. Mommy’s doctor jokes that we will have a full album of pictures before you’re even born. And it’s true, we already have twelve pictures of you. Maybe by the time you become a parent twelve pictures won’t seem like a big deal, but nowadays that’s a LOT of pictures – four times as many as most parents get over the course of an entire pregnancy – and we’re not done yet. Tomorrow we’re going to get an even better look at you, and I can’t wait.
I’m anxious to figure you out. What times of day are you most active? I know you’re moving around like crazy in there, but I want to know your patterns. Your sister loved to kick late at night and not at all in the morning, and she turned out to be a night owl who loved to sleep in. She also kicked like crazy whenever I had apple pie, milkshakes, and chocolate. No surprise, she loved apples, ice cream, and fudge. Yesterday I was craving chocolate like crazy, so maybe you’ll like chocolate, too.
I do wonder what you’ll look like. I spent lots of time laying down when I was pregnant with your sister, and I would try to imagine her eyes, nose, mouth, and hair. She came out looking exactly like I’d expected, but then she looked completely different a few months later. Will you come out dark like daddy? Your sister was all black hair and olive skin when she was born. Or maybe you’ll come out light like mommy. Your sister lightened up, she had lovely porcelain skin and dark blond ringlets. I hope you have the same curly hair your sister and daddy have. I always wanted curly hair.
As I’ve told you before, you have an older sister who would have been twenty one months old yesterday. The two of you will be a little more than two years apart in age. I have so many stories about your sister to tell you, things that I know will make you laugh. Your sister is strong, funny, sweet, loving, and brave. And because you are a part of her, and she is a part of you, I know you will be all those things, too.
The inevitable pregnancy comparisons have begun. You’ve made me just as sick as your sister did. I am sleeping just as fitfully. I worry more about you. I was so worried about Madeline, but I was so blissfully unaware of what could happen. I know what can happen now. I don’t want anything to happen to you.
Baby, you are helping us in ways I hope you never understand. Mommy and Daddy aren’t the same people we used to be, but then, who ever is after they’ve endured a little life? You have given us something to live for and look forward to. You force Mommy to take care of herself when all she wants to do is stay in bed. You’ve given Mommy hope, something she never thought she’d have again.
I can’t wait to meet you. But please don’t come any time soon.
Love, Mommy
{ 138 comments… read them below or add one }
I’m so happy for you Heather. All my love.
.-= Bec´s last blog ..Fun with bubbles! =-.
You’re such a sweet mommy, I pray that your Binky will be full term, healthy and that your life is always full of joy! God Bless you and your family
As always, how beautiful. Thank you so so much for sharing. Not a day goes by that I don’t check here…if nowhere else I come here. You’re all just a part of my daily life. My Mom asks me about you all the time to. Thank you again beautiful lady *hugs tight* (p.s. Now I have the urge to watch Waitress!) <3
Just love, tonight, and as always my deepest thanks for sharing yourself with us this way.
So sweet. I can’t wait to meet Binky. Love you, Mikey, Maddie, Binky, and Rigby.
Beautiful. Rapt for you. Hoping that all of your wishes for Binky come true, and that going forward your lives are filled with love and happiness (and wonderful memories of your beautiful, incredible Maddie).
Love and hugs, as always
.-= Kelly´s last blog ..Love! =-.
What a beautiful letter for Binky to cherish in the future. Amidst the fog of sorrow and grief I am glad your baby is there to help you carry on.
Sending love as always xxxx
.-= Seraphim´s last blog ..Rory’s Garden. Part 2. =-.
Tender, sweet and full of love. Gorgeous missive (and I love curly hair, too).
.-= A N N A´s last blog ..In Memory of Magnificent Madeline =-.
Binky is going to have amazing parents and an amazing big sister. Insomnia has my brain too muddled to write more, but just know that while I know this isn’t the way you’d planned things, you and Mike are doing such a great job with growing your family, and making choices that are kind, respectful, and loving for both of you, and for both your children as well. You are doing beautifully, and I hope that’s something you can see and celebrate.
.-= Lauren´s last blog ..The name itself sort of funny. Just. FYI. =-.
Now that is just lovely xx
.-= nutty mummy´s last blog ..Ella: I am three. =-.
It’s been a while since one of your posts made me cry… but this one did it. Binky is so lucky to have you as parents and Maddie as a big sister.
What a sweet letter. When I was pg I had a journal pregnancy book that I loved. Infact I think it’s called The Pregnancy Journal. It gives you funny quips and quotes, daily info about the baby, advice for the new Mama & Daddy and a space to write notes too. I still cherish those journals…always will.
)
I’m glad you’re getting so many pics of Binky…can’t wait to hear more after your next check up.
See, I just knew you were going to find the right words to tell Binky about Madeline… Totally gripping to read. I am sure that Binky will relate to her sister as we all do, through your words. Well done, and I love that you say that Binky gives you new hope… I can see that, it is new life, and new life is new hopes…
.-= catherine lucas´s last blog ..Stubborn Highland cow at Ripley Show 2009 =-.
Warm hugs and love to you, Mike, Maddie and little Binky. And I hope Rigby’s doing ok, too. You are a beautiful family, inside and out.
What a blessing little Binky is. Stay put, sweet baby!!!
.-= Scary Mommy´s last blog ..The Misadventures of a Third Child =-.
“strong, funny, sweet, loving, and brave” – True, Madeline took after her mother (and father too!) so very much. I’m sure Binky will as well. Love to you all.
.-= Kate in NZ´s last blog ..Practice =-.
Lucky, lucky baby.
xo from CT,
Amanda
.-= amanda´s last blog ..vacation day FAIL. =-.
Dearest sweet Heather,
Your words are, as always, so beautiful and moving. Reading your words today has brought a lump to my throat and tears to my eyes. You have such a talent, such a way with words. Heather, you are such a wonderful lady, such an amazing Mama. The love you have for your precious Maddie and for your precious Binky bean shines through this post. You and Mike are the most wonderful parents, Maddie and Binky are so blessed. You have so many precious stories and memories to share with Binky about his or her big sister, the World Famous Maddie, it will be a moving journey sharing with Binky and Binky, like all of us, will learn so much from his or her sister and so much from his or her wonderful parents.
Heather, its such an honour for me to read your posts. I come away from reading your posts every day in such awe of you. I continue to learn from you every day.
Sending you lots of love and a great big hug.
With love
your friend, Erica in Luxembourg
Beautiful post. Many prayers for a full term baby!
.-= Ames´s last blog ..Time Out =-.
“Baby, you are helping us in ways I hope you never understand. Mommy and Daddy aren’t the same people we used to be, but then, who ever is after they’ve endured a little life? You have given us something to live for and look forward to. You force Mommy to take care of herself when all she wants to do is stay in bed. You’ve given Mommy hope, something she never thought she’d have again.”
Oh yes Heather, this is beautiful. I so could have written it myself. Love to you and sweet baby Binky.
xo
Your words are SO AMAZING!!
Love with many Hugs,
Amber (Las Vegas)
so beautiful and perfect- i am so full of joy for what this child means to you and your husband. i continue to pray for God to give you grace, hope strength and protection.
Continue taking care of yourself and that sweet baby- i look forward to learning more about this lil munchkin too, and as always thanks for sharing.
This is a beautiful letter Heather. You are so worried you won’t find the words to tell Binky about Maddie…this stands as a testament that the words will come, and you will be able to share Maddie’s essence with her little brother or sister.
love to you
ali
.-= ali (adil320)´s last blog ..White =-.
That filled my heart with love and smiles. ?
- Blinky take your time and keep cooking!
What a wonderful letter.
March 14, 2007, my husband succumbed to pulmonary fibrosis after battling the little known disease for 6 difficult years. He and I had been through many wonderful years (37), as well as some extremely tough ones together. In the end, he was the love of my life, and I know that no matter what else happens, I will never have another love like that. My grief continues, but it is gaining perspective with the passage of time.
March 10, 2008, my mother lost her own battle for life, succumbing to COPD and Alzheimer’s. My mother raised me and my 4 younger siblings alone from age 29, when our dad, an Air Force pilot, was killed in a midair collision while we lived abroad. Mama was my rock, my friend, my advisor, my sounding board, and my biggest cheerleader. No one can ever replace her in my life, and I miss her every day as well.
On May 12, 2008, only two months after mama’s death, my first granddaughter, Violet was born. Her daddy had married her mommy only 2 months after her grandfather’s death in 2007. Two months later, July 14, 2008, my second grandson Charlie made his entrance. These two new lives have been like offerings of understanding and joy from the same universe that took away my two dearest life loves. I am continually amazed at the joys life offers, as well as the pain it asks us to endure, but one thing I have learned from my most recent highs and lows is that life is always worth continuing, and will fill me again after sorrow, if only I am open to it.
Long way of saying, I am so with you on this journey, Heather. And I am so happy to read of your hope for this new life. And I share it!
Binky is so blessed to be joining your family. Thank you for sharing your journey with all of us.
You make life more meaningful for so many of us because of your amazing writing abilities and your willingness to share your gift. Thank you and take care.
You have me crying on public transit! Happy tears today. Binky is a miracle!!!
Much love to all of you.
What a beautiful letter you wrote to Binky. He/she is so lucky to have you for a mother. The last few days have been tough for me parenting-wise but I thought of you and how you’d do anything to be parenting Maddie right now… and it helped me out a few tough times when I really thought I’d just lose it. Binky and Maddie are truly lucky to have a mother like you. I only hope that one day I can be even a quarter of the parent you are. Stay strong. I’m glad that you have Binky at this time. Sending love and hugs from NJ.
I say nothing original, I’m sure that’s not shocking, but such a beautiful email and it is a privelege to be “let in” to this degree to glimpse your growing relationship with your new little one. You’re right on the money with it all- how Binky is giving you such a purposeful reason to get out of bed, take care of yourself, and how your two children are such a part of each other already. He/she is heaven sent. I know we don’t need 3 guesses as to which little angel sent him/her?! Continual blessings sent your way…
What a great idea to write letters to Binky and Maddie! You write so beautifully, Heather, that you are creating a loving legacy in those notes.
I’m so moved by the hope that blooms in this letter.
.-= Lynn from For Love or Funny´s last blog ..My face is My Driveway =-.
So beautiful Heather. Maddie and Binky are so blessed to call you Mommy.
Binky, listen to Mommy and stay in there!
Stranger/friend in STL
.-= cjrymommy´s last blog ..Sad It’s Over =-.
This is so beautiful. It brought tears to my eyes.
.-= robyn´s last blog ..Wild =-.
A small note from your Auntie Shannon whom I am sure you will only meet in cyberspace, but has grown to love you and your sister and family very much,
Please, like mommy says, DON’T come anytime soon, but we are awaiting the sight of you. The sonogram pictures ARE adorable, but I am sure do not do you justice! We are just itching to know if you are a little he or she so I can call you the name “I” have picked out for you. It is “Bodi Christopher Sphor”. I am sure by now your Mama is ready to drive to my house and slap the name out of my head because I write it on her blog everyday, but hey…I am here to help! I am rooting for you baby, for you to be a healthy, happy, full term baby…we will happily wait to see you at 38 weeks…NO SOONER!!! Auntie Shannon
What a sweet letter. Binky is so lucky to have you for a mom, Mike for a dad, and Maddie for a sister. Oh, and Rigby for a dog! I’m so glad that Binky has given you hope. I can’t wait to meet him/her either!!
.-= Deborah´s last blog ..New Etsy Listings =-.
I love this! Beautiful.
Absolutely beautiful.
.-= Andrea´s last blog ..World’s Worst Blogger? =-.
Such a beautiful letter, such a lucky baby!
Binky will be born into an amazing family, to 2 amazing parents and a sister that will always look over him/her.
We’re looking forward to your arrival, sweet little Binky, but not for a good 4 or 5 more months.
Sending good thoughts, lots of love and plenty of hugs to you and Mike today and always!!!
XOXO
.-= AmazingGreis´s last blog ..30 20 days of {BLANK} =-.
What a sweet and beautiful letter to Binky.
Sending love, hugs and positive thoughts your way.
.-= Lisa´s last blog ..Carseat Safety Regulations =-.
From the post that announced your pregnancy to this one right now, there has been such hope in your thoughts and words, even amidst the continuing grief. It’s breath-taking to read. Praying with all I have that little Binky is a healthy, full-term baby. I bet he/she can’t wait to meet the absolutely amazing parents with whom he/she was blessed.
So glad you’ve found some hope….
All the best to you and your growing fam!
Beautiful, beautiful post.
.-= Just Shireen´s last blog ..Vampires, Waitresses, and Shape Shifters, Oh My! =-.
Heather-
You continue to amaze and inspire me!! What an amazing, amazing woman you truly are!
Beautiful letter, beautiful words.
Beautiful, lovely and full of grace. You bring tears to my eyes.
This is lovely. Someday, this letter (and probably others like it) are going to mean the world to Binky.
.-= J´s last blog ..A long week =-.
BEAUTIFUL! Tears are flowing, good happy tears.
ps, I love that Maddie was a night owl and loved to sleep-in.
Binky, you are the luckiest babe in the world. You have so many people rooting for you kid. Now be nice to that mama of yours and stay put for awhile. You have the best seat in the house!
Thanks Heather for sharing this letter with us.
A lovely letter Heather….one that brought tears to my eyes. You are now my 4th friend who has lost a child. 2 had babies born still and my God daughter left us very suddenly – without warning. She was 10 months….23 days old. In all cases, each friend became pregnant again and with all the pregnancies came renewed hope and healing beyond expectations. Their new babies, although they could never replace the babies who left us brought them all a profound sense of solace and made all of them smile again. I was so excited for all of them…and am as equally elated for you and Mike.
All the best,
Your Friend,
Jenn
I’m bawling… that was SO sweet. I can’t wait to meet your Binky either, though hopefully not for a while. I’m loving all of your ultrasound and belly pictures!
.-= Vera´s last blog ..It Was So Cute, I Cried =-.
The tears are flowing! Such a beautiful post Heather. Maddie and Binky are so lucky to have you both as their parents. I can’t wait to see pictures of the new addition and hopefully meet him/her at Blogher ’10.
.-= Colleen´s last blog ..The Monthly "Gift" =-.
What a beautiful letter. My eyes rarely stay dry while reading your blog and this time was no exception. I hope that you get some great pictures tomorrow.
That was so sweet and beautiful. I cried reading it.
Okay, now I REALLY have something in my eye.
I can’t to wait and come meet Binky, or as I like to call the baby, Aunt Becky, JR. But NOT until at LEAST January, Binky. JANUARY.
And in May, Aunt Becky will come bearing LOADS of stuff for you and your mom and dad.
But JANUARY baby. Maybe FEBRUARY.
.-= Becky´s last blog ..And You Just KNOW I’ll Be “Plumpy.” =-.
I love knowing that I can come here M-F and see a post when I wake up. This one is one of my favorites. Beautifully written and I think one day when Binky is much older is going to love having all of these letters. I really should start writing letters to my kids, why have I not?
.-= Midwest Mommy´s last blog ..Totally Ticks Me Off Tuesday! =-.
That was the most beautiful letter I’ve ever read. Thank you for opening your soul and sharing your deepest thoughts with us.
That was a beautiful letter; Binky will really love reading this with you and Mike someday. Lots of hugs to you all!
.-= Miche´s last blog ..6 Things Miche Loves =-.
Absolutely beautiful. Made my heart tingle a little bit
.
A beacon in the storm = Binky
Beautiful letter Heather. Thank you for sharing.
(((HUGS))) from Florida
Heather, That was such a sweet letter.
That was so beautiful. Your children are so lucky to have both of you.
We can’t wait to meet you bunky. I am sure that you will capture are hearts just as your big sister has.
.-= Danielle´s last blog ..GNO and more =-.
Binky!!!!
.-= Danielle´s last blog ..GNO and more =-.
That is a beautiful letter – thanks for sharing!
.-= Jennifer A.´s last blog ..Motherhood =-.
Awwww. *sniff sniff* Binky is so fortunate to be brought into the love you and Mike have to give. I am so excited for you!
My son, Jonah, is about 2 months younger than Maddie. When I watched your videos of Maddie saying “Wow” I had him on my lap, and we started working on the word too. He now says it, often in fact, and it sounds eerily identical to Maddie’s “wow”. I think of her every time we “wow” at something. I smile to myself and remember the beautiful “stranger”, Maddie, who means more to me than you will ever know. Weird, maybe, but there it is. You and she are in my thoughts every day.
Love you, Mike and Binky.
Binky- listen to your mother- no time soon, you hear?
.-= maya´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday =-.
“But please don’t come any time soon.”
Truer words were never spoken!
Beautiful letter.
You brought tears to my eyes. Happy tears. Binky has amazing parents and a beautiful big sister. Hugs.
What a sweet post. It makes my heart happy for you guys.
BINKY, listen to your mother and you stay in there!
.-= Kristabella´s last blog ..Help Me Pick Furniture =-.
Lucky baby!
Wishing you a LOOONG healthy pregnancy!
I read you blog everyday Heather. I wish you and your family as much happiness that you can find. Madeline is a beautiful little girl.
Wishing you a long healthy and uneventful pregnancy.
warmest wishes
.-= Desiree Campos´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday: Yes Even at the Zoo =-.
Great letter Heather. You are such an awesome mom.
Oh Heather, this is so beautiful. This baby is so lucky to have you and Mike as parents. S/he is so loved and will grow up knowing that sweet big sister in Heaven. It gives them a little something extra I think. xoxo
.-= Kim´s last blog ..My Medication…Chocolate! =-.
This is a great letter. I hope Binky listens and makes his/her appearance when the time is just right.
.-= Badass Geek´s last blog ..In Which I’ve Got A Complaint =-.
What a great letter! I should start to write letters to my son!
I hope you have a health pregnancy!
.-= jackie´s last blog .. =-.
Such a blessed little baby to have such a loving mom, even before he/she is born!
Also wishing you a LONG and HEALTHY pregnancy!
.-= Mrs. Wilson´s last blog ..Chateau Jennui =-.
That made me burst into tears. If only the people near me knew why–I’m in the surgical waiting room at Cedars. Charlie is being operated on right now (his VP shunt surgery). Thinking of you all and sending vibes for a LONG pregnancy!
.-= Danny´s last blog ..Small Pleasures =-.
Beautiful Heather! We can’t wait to meet her either, in time. XOXO
.-= Heather´s last blog ..Fork. =-.
Binky is such a lucky little baby to already be surrounded by so much love and an amazing family to be apart of!
.-= Michelle Pixie´s last blog ..HALP! I Am An Addict & Possibly Having An Affair (while my husband watches)… =-.
Beautiful letter. Made me cry.
All the Best,
Carrie
I was watching Domino last night and got a flash of Keira Knightly and thought, “She looks like Maddie would’ve looked.” She has the same wide-set eyes, I think.
I hope Binky has her sister’s eyes.
All the best.
.-= Erin´s last blog ..Murkowski Slaps Palin =-.
That was beautiful. You’re such a good Mom. Thoughts to you and Binky – keep growing strong, little one!
This is beautiful, Heather. I’m so excited for you and Mike to get to meet Binky and share so many exciting things. I’m always wishing you all the best.
.-= Jen´s last blog ..Back in RI =-.
Just lovely, Heather. Sending good thoughts to all of you!!
How precious, a very sweet letter to your baby.
I am so excited for you. I have told you this before but it was Maddie’s passing that got me started with following women who were suffering the loss of their child. God sent me to all of you and I started my For Your Tears blog.
My heart feels joy when I can see life going on after tragedy and new babies being born to those who have recently lost their children.
I know that it does not diminish your pain or loss but it does give you a glimmer of sunshine for your future. God Bless
.-= Debby´s last blog ..SKYE IS ON HER VACATION =-.
So sweet. I really love the letters. I wish I had notes from my mom to read. To see what she was thinking, what it was like before I came, etc.
Lucky baby.
.-= Allison´s last blog ..The Honey-Do List =-.
That was SO sweet and heartfelt. It made me teary in the best way possible. I can’t wait to meet little Binky, and share my own memories of his/her sister. I love you so much, Mama.
:::sticky, sticky, baby dust:::
Lovely, lovely letter as always. love to you four always. *HUGS*
Oh my gosh….tears….what a beautiful letter.
.-= Katrina´s last blog ..Aria’s Birthday =-.
Heather, what a beautiful letter to Binky
Wishing you so much health and happiness in the months and years to come! you deserve it! When I was pregnant for my son, I craved chocolate w/ caramel…he doesn’t like it 
but I also craved clam chowder soup…his fav of all times. 
Sending you hugs! XX
This is lovely, Heather. Is it ok if I tell you that your recent posts have been happier, lighter. A few days ago you made me laugh; you usually, lately, make me cry. I don’t mean this as criticism, or as a “see, you’re getting better.” I mean it so say that I feel for you, when you’re sad and when you’re happy. And I’m glad to know that you’re in a place, at least sometimes, now where you CAN make me laugh.
Hugs, prayers, and good wishes,
Liz
just beautiful
.-= mommymae´s last blog ..am i healthy or sick? =-.
I’ve always thought that “Hope” was a lovely name… and a powerful word.
That was so sweet. I wish you the best!
.-= Melissa´s last blog ..Cook Books and Crispy Rice =-.
So beautiful.
.-= Noelle´s last blog ..I Am… =-.
Hope…a word that moves us to act and to love for all that we have and all that could be! ((Hugs))
What a lucky baby Binky is. Thinking of you three today and sending love.
.-= Maura´s last blog ..An Unconventional Memory Lane =-.
Very sweet. You are a great mama.
Hope your day is going well
As always, words that bring tears. This time tears of happiness. Can’t wait to “meet” Binky.
.-= avasmommy´s last blog ..Twenty Years On, Part Two =-.
Fingers crossed for you and Binky!
I am so happy that there is a little binky for you guys.
.-= Haitian American Family of Three´s last blog ..bla de bla =-.
Very Sweet Heather….
.-= Erin´s last blog ..Support and Sarrow…. =-.
What a great letter to your little Binky!!
.-= Jennifer´s last blog ..Sand Art and Love Shacks =-.
Oh Heather, I don’t know you at all, yet I am so proud of you. Binky is a lucky little baby. Your letter was perfect. I really hope the nausea goes away, lemonade did the trick for me!
Maddie already knows what Binky looks like, I know she does! I’m pretty sure Maddie and God got together on this one.
Lots of love and good thoughts coming your way!
I had tears pouring down my cheeks reading this. Though I was never lucky enough to meet Maddie, I think about you, Mike and Maddie everyday. I am so glad Binky is bringing you new hope. Soooo do we find out the sex tomorrow?
.-= Jenni/mom2nji´s last blog ..Free Hair Cuts! =-.
Beautiful letter Heather. Thank you for sharing it. Love you.
BIG lump in my throat. So beautifully written.
Binky is sooo blessed to have you and Mike as her (yes, I said her. I think Binky is a girl;)) parents. She will never have a shortage of love in her little life. Just like Maddie. Soo loved by so many. Binky will have just the same.
Much love, Jenn in CA
what a sweet story. very beautiful.
I’m sure Binky will be gorgeous
I dont know why I keep thinking that she’s going to be a girl…
.-= pamela´s last blog ..Bold the One You’ve Done =-.
This was so beautiful. Letters are a great way to cherish the emotions and memories. It’s funny, we’ve just moved house and I came across my daughter’s (now ten) baby box the other day during the move. We sat and went through all the little things I held onto. I had written a letter when I was pregnant too and it was full of my hopes and dreams for her when she got older and also giving her advice on how I was really scared of not being a good enough mother. I read it to her the other night and it was a wonderful thing to share. Afterwards, all I could think of was that you wouldn’t get to do that in person with your beautiful Maddie and I cried a bucketful of tears for your pain. I am so glad that you still write to her though, she knows you love her, always. This letter will be a treasure in the coming years, I promise. I am hoping and praying that all will go well and that this little baby will be with you when he or she is fully incubated. Hope you get to do some yoga soon. You are in our thoughts and prayers every night. (me and my kids). My son still sends up those purple balloons whenever we go to the balloon grocery store. It’s like they know her. She’s connected us all more tightly your precious Maddie.
Much love and hope,
Tricia
.-= Tricia (irishsamom)´s last blog ..Grieving =-.
Binky is just going to love that letter! She’s going to love hearing about her big sister and bringing joy to your life. But she’s going to have to wait until she’s been in your stomach for 40 weeks. FORTY Binky!!
.-= Karen´s last blog ..Did someone say something about health care? =-.
What a sweet post. Heapings of blessings upon you and your husband and Binky…and Maddie as well.
.-= Leslie´s last blog ..Two Months =-.
Wow
Beautiful.
You’re amazing. (Let us know when the book publishers start calling.) Beautifully written. Bink is so lucky.
Faith….Hope….Love….Peace.
.-= mythoughtsonthat´s last blog ..A Day For New Shoes =-.
So, dealing with infertility has a terrible side effect of being bitter. It’s like you can’t help it, you hear someone is pregnant and it kind of feels like the air is sucked out of the room.
This is all to say that you may have helped cure me of this. I couldn’t be happier for someone than I am for you, it is a pure, 100% bitter-free happy. Obviously part of this is that I have read the journey of your loss, but I think the other part is that through this blog I have come to see there is really nothing to ever be bitter about. A baby is a blessing. I am glad that you are blessed with one.
I love this letter.
.-= cindy w´s last blog ..Potty-Training 2: Bathroom Boogaloo =-.
Weeping.
.-= Stefanie´s last blog ..I Felt It In My Kishkes =-.
Binky is already a lucky kid. He/ She will be born into a house of immense love. I hope that through you both Binky will know his/ her sister, understand the difference she made and love her for being part of your family.
I hope that you’re feeling better.
.-= JAR´s last blog ..My First, My Last, My Everything =-.
Oh Heather what a beautiful letter!
.-= Casey´s last blog .. =-.
Totally brought tears to my eyes! So beautifully written! I think it’s awesome that you write letters like this. I always wanted to, but never got around to it and here I am with 3 kids! I actually did write lettes to my husband and 2 kids when I went in to the hospital to have my 3rd. Don’t know why, but I had this terrible feeling that I wouldn’t make it out of that one and if I didn’t I wanted them to know how much I loved them. Of course as soon as I got home from the hospital I shredded those letters as they were really “goodbye” letters and I didn’t really want them to ever get one of those from me! Yup, certifiable I probably am! But back to you, I am so very happy that you are experiencing this new life inside of you! You deserve some happiness and something to live for! CANT WAIT until the new ultrasound!!!
.-= Patty´s last blog ..Knee deep =-.
What a wonderful idea to write letters like this to your children. I would love to have known what my mom was thinking when she was pregnant with me.
I’m so glad you’re being so open already with Binky about Maddie. My aunt & uncle lost their their little girl at 9 mos about 35 years ago & they never talk about her. Even their second daughter hardly knows anything about her big sister, Stacey. I can’t imagine what that’s like for her. I’m so grateful little Binky won’t have to grow up like that.
So sweet! Love the end! Don’t come any time soon.
I completely agree Binky has come to help you and Mike to some how heal.
You’re doing great and I’m so excited that things look good.
Heartwarming, precious, beautiful.
.-= Deidre´s last blog ..Home Funerals =-.
Beautifully put.
Binky will be so loved… we’ll all be celebrating that day!
Heather,
Let me start by saying, “You are one totally fucking awesome chick!” I am the mother of 3 children and I CANNOT even imagine what you and Mike have been through. I am sorry you both had to go through such a faith trying time. Maddie is with you everyday (though I know you already know this) and the sunshine you see is her infectious smile! I am so happy for you both as you continue the next chapter in your life! I read your blog everyday, even if it is the only thing I look at! You are so strong and I wish you and your hubby nothing but happiness from here on out! I know you will keep us posted….as always; you, Mike and Maddie are in my thoughts and prayers! Take care!
Beautiful.
Beautiful letter to a beautiful new life.
Give Binky a pat for me.
xoxo
.-= Alison´s last blog ..Blonde =-.
Sniff. You always are so eloquent and write the most beautiful things.
I am so thankful you have Binky and know what you do. Obviously, we all miss Maddie and that she was still here, but …well, what words can I say that haven’t already been said. You know what I mean.
I’m just thankful for the good things.
.-= Just Jiff´s last blog ..S cubed: Sleep, Social Workers, & School =-.
Beautiful, just beatuiful. I have never posted but I haved followed you for a almost a year now. I have 2 dauhters of my own. My sweet Madelyn (3) and my beautiful Abigail (1). I also have two angle babies watching over us. I pray you have a uneventful pregnancy and I hope that your baby binky will give you all the hope, love and life you have lost. Lots of hugs.
This was absolutely beautiful. Binky is so very special and I’m so glad you’re writing these letters to him/her. I used to do the same thing when I was pregnant and it’s really special to go back now and read them.
You’re so strong and sweet, just like Maddie.
I have read your blog for a few months and prayed for you and your family. I’m so glad to hear of your pregnancy but may I offer you the thoughts of a child (me) who was born six weeks after her older brother (18 months) died… My brother was born in 1962 with a hole in his heart and never could walk or sit up by himself. The short 18 months of his life were constant worry and fear for my parents. My dad had a nervous breakdown and my mother had to forcibly be removed off my brother’s casket. I was born under this cloud of grief and sadness. I won’t go into everything that transpired but I pray that your second child will not go through what I lived and he/she will be loved for his/her own uniqueness and not as a tool for healing. I have lived my life trying to be perfect and make everything “good” for my parents. I really didn’t understand why I felt that my parent’s happiness was my burden to bear until I sought therapy to deal with my own depression.
So sweet, Heather, so touching. Your children will live on in each other.
xoxo
*sniff* *watery eyes*
Beautiful.
Just beautiful, absolutely beautiful! God Bless.
Courtney in New York
.-= Courtney´s last blog ..What do I want to do? =-.
Heather,
I dont remember how I stumbled across your blog, but it now a part of my daily routine. I dont even know if you read these comments? But if you do I want you to know you have impacted my life in a great way. I am a registered nurse in the emergency room of a childrens hospital. I now think of you when I have to speak to the parents of sick or injured children. I think of you daily and of sweet Maddie, and I know that Binky will stay put and be healthy!! You are a strong women, and I hope that I am as good a mother to my 3 children as you are to Maddie and Binky!!
I just wanted to let you know that I have been reading your blog for awhile now. You are such an eloquent writer and an inspiration. I am so happy for you guys. You bring tears to my eyes everytime I read your blog. Thank you for sharing your pain and happiness with us.