Being a woman is hard. We’re constantly bombarded with images and articles about what we SHOULD look like, how we should eat, how we should act.
It’s the one thing I’m afraid of when it comes to raising a girl – how will I teach her to have a good body image when I don’t always have the best image of myself?
if you can’t see the video above, click here.
Luckily our first talk went well. I hope they all do.
I think you’re awesome too Annie! And there’s another daddy living here who thinks a little (or a lot) of junk-in-the-trunk is a good thing.
Embrace your chunkaliciousness, Annie.
Annie Y says:
Being chunkalicious and having junk in the trunk is awesome!
Mohan Arun L. says:
Men have the same ‘body image’ problem. To me, ‘thin’ means ‘not attractive’ so there are cultural differences in how one defines an attractive body image.
You are perfect Annie, size four diapers and all!
Lynn from For Love or Funny says:
No doubt, all those supermodels and airbrushing in fashion magazines only make me feel awful about myself…so I don’t read that stuff any more. It’s amazing how many men appreciate some “junk in the trunk.”
Instilling a good body image and self worth is what I’m most frightened of for my future daughters (if I ever have any) and my almost-here niece. How do you teach it when you don’t have it for yourself? I suppose I still have time to figure it out!!
Annie is perfect!! Squeeze some of that chunkoliciousness for me!
you know what i hate? how they’re changing kid’s characters. they’re making even the preschool aimed characters uber skinny. freaks me out (and worries me) : /
Four Gambel Girls and a guy - documenting the adventures we call life says:
I have all girls and the best way to teach them to have a good body image is
1. Lead by example – so important. Never say in front of them, “if I could just lose five more pounds”, “This doesn’t fit me anymore”, you get the picture.
2. Teach them to exercise – do with them and make it fun. So fun that they don’t even know they are doing it ~ like “hey, lets take the dogs for a jog around the park”! As soon as they are old enough, involve them in a sport, even if they are in dance. It could be school or city. Most citys offer soccer leagues that start at three or four. Anyway – it has worked for me so I am sharing!
I agree with your post. I have two girls and to be a good role model I started playing soccer again after a 20 year break…ouch.
Mary Ann says:
Wow Annie you are a size 4 – Lucky Girl! I wish I could be a size 4 but I too have junk in the trunk. You are BEAUTIFUL!
Oh how I love her facial expressions, and the way she bats her eye lashes is the best!!
Love the video!!! (Hey- is that Mike’s head shadow on the couch? Just wondering?)
I too was very distracted by the shadow film-maker…..geez….we’ve come to expect perfection here Spohrs!!! LMAO
Ohh, too precious and too perfect a video!
Heidi Herbst says:
Such a sweet video! You are definitely an awesome mom!
Aw, this was so sweet. If I ever have a little girl, I don’t want her to struggle with her self-image the way I did. It makes me so sad to see little girls full of confidence turn into teenagers and preteens obsessed with how they look instead of who they are. I think you’ll do a great job of making sure that Annie is a confident, proud woman!
That is so flipping cute! I have the same worry about body image and relaying my own struggles if I have a daughter someday. I think you handled your first conversation really well.
Man, I always wanted junk in my trunk!
Love the video – you’re so right. She is perfect!
This video is super cute…
I struggle with this one a lot with my two girls. I have suffered from ED since I was in highschool (and a skinny mini) between bulimia and binging. I remember times when my mom would actually ask me “That lady over there, am I fatter than her??” or constantly dieting, complaining about weight gain. It took a HUGE toll on my own self image.
I’m incredibly overweight (and fighting like hell to get back to healthy) after being slim most of my first 25 years now. I go to the gym, I’m eating better but I make sure to *never* use the words diet, weight, fat or negative self talk in front of them. I know the damage it can do. When they ask why I’m going to the gym I simply reply “you guys can out run me! I need to catch up and that takes practice!”
It sucks, funny or not, the approach is key and it’s a life long battle for moms with even small self esteem issues.
I try to do the same thing about never using the words fat, diet, weight, or negative self talk about my appearance around my children. My almost-7-yr daughter bragged to me the other day that she was the thinnest one in our family. My “warning” antennas went up immediately. I asked her “why do you want to be thin?” She looked at me as if I was a dummy and said “so that I can fit through small places.” I hope she keeps that innocence for a lot longer.
I also have reminded my own mother about the need to be careful about negative body image. With my daughter within hearing distance, my mom lifted my 4 yr son onto her lap and said something to the effect of “you’re getting fat and I won’t be able to do this much longer.” My sister (who has struggled with her weight since childhood) quickly told me about the comment. I gently reminded my mom that it is not OK with me for her to say this. She can tell my son “you are getting to be such a big boy” or “let me see how big you are now – I bet you can jump really high now” or something like that.
I also explain to the kids that I go to the gym to exercise more. I explain that they get to exercise when they are playing at home and going to PE at school, but I don’t have that time for exercising – so I go to the gym after they go to bed.
Oh, that was so sweet.
You tell Annie I think she is perfect too.
I don’t know why but that made me cry.
Too sweet. She’s a doll.
So sweet…definitely made me smile and what a lovely video between the two of you!
XOXO from GA,
Cutest video! You guys look like you have so much fun with Annie – she’s going to love seeing these when she gets older.
Totally agree with the moms above who don’t talk about dieting and losing weight. I have two tweens and I have never, and have instructed family members to never mention dieting or wanting to lose weight. My mantra has always been that we eat well and move our bodies to stay healthy. If I am feeling like I need to cut back I do not say I am dieting – I just say I’ve been feeling sluggish and tired and eating right gives me more energy. Plain and simple, I don’t go into anything about my pants not fitting or feeling uncomfortable with extra pounds. I really hate the diet obsessed culture and what it can do to girls. I know they hear “I’m so fat!” and talk of dieting outside my house but in here it’s all about feeling healthy. It amazed me how many mothers talk so negatively about their own bodies in front of their girls.
And I can’t recommend a trampoline more for kids. My girls are in recreational gymnastics and after one year of instruction/classes we let them buy a trampoline, since we knew they would know how to be safe on it. Boy is that great exercise but it doesn’t feel like it. They are out there for hours on end and really think they are just playing but it is so heart healthy. Plus it’s really cool to be able to do those flips! And a good part of their gymnastics classes are strength conditioning so it’s so good for them. Since it’s a year round activity they get so much out of it, unlike basketball and softball that they only play for a couple of months.
I love it!
One of the greatest lies my mother ever told me was “it’s okay that you’re chubby now, you’ll slim down in high school.” She was one of those people who was chubby until 15 and then her metabolism kicked in and just assumed I would be, too, despite coming from a gene pool completely stacked in the opposite direction. She spent all her energy convincing me that a magical day would come where I would suddenly be a size six like she was (she even showed me her high school yearbooks and had me compare when she was chunky in 9th grade to when she was svelte in 11th) but it never happened.
Worse, because I was a chubby kid, she discouraged me from playing sports because I was always the slow, awkward one on the team and she didn’t want me to get embarrassed. I still remember being 12 and having her tell me she didn’t think I should play softball anymore because it was “too hard” for me. I loved softball, and worse than any dropped pitch (I was a catcher) or tagging-out because I was slow was the fact that my mother told me she thought it was “too hard.” Not even my teammates said that crap about me.
I’m 26 now and I’m still heavy. I’m never going to not be heavy, because even if I lost the extra baggage, I’m not a skinny person! I have linebacker shoulders and strong legs and I wish so much that my mother would’ve told me all that was okay instead of promising I’d magically turn into Tinkerbell at 15.
Sorry, this turned into a rant. My point is: I love the video, and I think as long as you encourage Annie to love herself, who cares if she stays “chunkilicious.”
Chunkaliciousness rocks! I think you have a little film star on your hands….she is totally soaking up every moment on screen! I had to actually watch twice to listen b/c I was dyin’ laughing at her blinking like crazy “Look at MEEEEE!”
Very cute and you did good……these talks are never fun. I have a very tall and thin daughter who is pretty worried about her new curves and I’m pretty sure she thinks her little boobies are gonna turn into my gorillas in the mist overnight….I had to work hard for this junk in my trunk! Remember, when she does ask…and she will….just be honest, like you were…..except for I totally think she is old enough for ice cream!!!
I love the way she is sitting in her chair. It looks like she is the queen in her queen’s chair. She’s so beautiful.
Oh how I LOVE Friday Video Day!! (and every day I read your blog for that matter). I was telling my husband the other day about “My Friend Heather’s” shenanigans with Corso! Its SO just like I know you…you know, but the relationship is just onesided I then had to throw in, “you know, the blog I read.”
I think you and Annie are both AWESOME! And yes Chunkaliciousness is also AWESOME!!
Trisha Vargas says:
It’s never too early for these kind of talks. I wish I would have talked with my teenage daughters about being comfortable with their body images more, I am struggling with that now big time as are they.
Loved the video as always! Yay for junk in the trunk.
(((HUGS))) from Florida
I love Fridays, as this is one of the reasons why! Thanks Annie & Heather for making me smile on what has been a craptastic kind of week! Annie, you are deliciously beautiful!
Obviously, you, Annie and Maddie are all beautiful! I love this video. ” 95th percentile–your weight would get an A!” LOL! I have struggled with my weight for years, and I do about how my negative self-esteem will impact on my daughters. I think your first conversation went great!
Oh, and “junk in the trunk” rocks! (Unless it really is a poopy diaper!)
Love this! Just perfect.
When Annie said she wanted to lose weight to look good for the older boys….the toddlers I about laughed myself out of my computer chair! Awesome!
Eric's Mommy says:
That made my day!!
You are gorgeous, Annie is perfect, and the video ROCKS!
aww- that was super sweet- and she has every reason to love every one of her curvy squishedness chunks…
I know this is all in fun-
but have you ever seen the sites the little girl’s make promoting their “ANA” lifestyles??
striving- (in most cases with extreme obsession) to actually acquire anorexia?
little girls too- i have see girls as young as nine picking apart their beautiful bodies and hoping to one day be “lucky” enough to have this deadly illness.
it is scary- and so profoundly sad..
all little one’s should have their momma’s be reminding them how perfect they are.. Annie will grow up confidant because she knows she is deserving of love and respect!
Rumour Miller says:
Embrace the chunk! It’s an awesome video, totally laughing here.
Just wanted to let Annie know that “some” adults do wear diapers… they just don’t call them that.
OMG, I cannot get enough of your videos!!!! If only I could be that funny! Before I watched this video, I posted a comment on your photo of Annie and her cousin from yesterday, and it was about her neck fat and how I wanted to chomp on it! How funny!
My first son was skinny as could be, always in the 5th percentile for height and weight (and yes, he’s still tiny…22lbs at 2 yrs and 4mo old) HOWEVER, my FIVE MONTH old boy weighs in at 18lbs and is a chunk. Funny how so different. Love them both, but enjoy the extra chubbiness on my baby. Lots more to nibble on.
Awww Annie I think you are perfect too!! And there is NOTHING wrong with a Junk In The Trunk.
Maybe this is one of those situations where our children can do the big switch-a-roo on us and teach US a thing or two about life, love and the benefits of chocolate. Learn to love yourself the way they love you! After all, chances are they’ve inherited your body shape and nobody likes a hypocrit.
Besides, what fool would even consider berating those delicious chubrolls! Go the curves, Annie, gets them every time!
Heather you’re so beautiful and adorable!
Great message Heather!!! As a Mama of a 10 yr old who unfortunately is puffy from all of the steriods she has to take so she can breathe….I am constantly trying to reassure, encourage and counteract all of the constant images she witnesses in the media of the “perfect” size 0 models. It is something I think about every day as most of us know, when you’re dealing with a tweeny and teenage girl, she could very well be only a sentence or image away from an eating disorder. IT’S SO INCREDIBLY SCARY!!
I must say however, I am so grateful to you, Mike and Annie b/c all 3 of my children are in awe of all 3 of you! They respect your words and often after we watched your videos, we get into discussions about them! I betcha didn’t realize you three were all HERO’S but you are and for the sake of our 2 little boys and our little girl….my husband and I simply could NOT be more THANKFUL!!!
Wiith much love, friendship, thanks and appreciation….
The Mercer Family
I loved this video. I teared up and I’m not so sure why.
Ms2Mrs..and back to Ms says:
As some one who struggled with (and am working towards recovery) of an eating disorder this is a great topic. You did a great job addressing this topic. Starting early is key! This video was so touching.
Dawn @ What's Around the Next Bend? says:
Oh Annie… Some of us WISHED we had junk in the trunk
Be happy that you do!
From someone who has spent most of my life worrying about my weight (along with my mother who has weight issues, my mom is 98 lbs, 66 years old, and she still take the eight flights up the stairs rather than taking the elevator).
I too had a 98th percentile child. She has always has been taller, bigger boned, bigger sized etc than all the other children her age, always.
For myself, coming from a mother with an eating disorder and having one most of my life myself it has not always been easy (only for myself) seeing my daughter being heavier than others.
But I freaking love her! She’s freaking healthy, she’s on the honor roll, she has tons of friends, she’s incredibly gorgeous, she’s motivated, she’s smart, she’s kind, she’s thoughtful, she’s on the basketball team, she volunteers, she loves life and best of all she loves herself….. just the way she is……and she is freaking 15 years old! Can you imagine being a larger sized teenage girl and being happy about your life and the way you are? Sure wish I hadn’t of wasted most of my life worrying about such trivial shit. Took my awesome kid to teach me some good lessons about life.
Michelle W says:
Self-Image, Self-Esteem and Body Image continue to be huge challenges for me and I desperately don’t want to pass that on to my children so I keep trying to overcome it and be mindful of what I say in front of my kids. On another note,I don’t condone what the author of the article you provided had to say but the responses to her were incredibly vile. I also read an article about her struggle with anorexia which was enlightening and very sad. Thanks for sharing this beautiful conversation with your daughter, I know as she grows she will understand that true beauty comes from the inside out She has great teachers
Annie you are perfect… and i love love these videos… Thanks for sharing!
LOL! I love it. 95% means you would get an A! Junk in the trunk! That’s great!
I love this!
I’ve been teaching my son from a young age that a little junk in the trunk isn’t a bad thing.
Catching up. LOVE THIS! When I found out I was having a girl one of the first things I thought about was the challenge of raising a girl with a good body image in this skinny obsessed culture. I love my 95th percentile, size 4 diaper wearing, chunky monkey’s rolls of chub. Of course I have my own body issues, but I keep my mouth shut about them, and remind myself that this body of mine managed to gestate a healthy baby in my mid-40s. Pretty damn cool.