I always knew there would come a time when some kid told Annie that Santa Claus wasn’t real, but I wasn’t ready for it to happen yesterday.
Now you might think it’s a little early to be talking about Santa Claus, but my local mall wouldn’t agree. Annie and I were there for a daddy/daughter ice cream date when we saw a sign with Santa on it.
“What does it say, Dad?”
“It says Santa will arrive at the mall in just three weeks!”
Annie was very excited about this, and spent the entire time at the ice cream shop discussing Santa.
Afterward Annie wanted to go to the mall’s play area, so I took her there and let her run around with a couple little girls her age. The three of them were very cute. In fact, one of the girls had been at the ice cream shop at the same time as us, and introduced herself to Annie by saying, “Didn’t I see you at the ice cream store?”
You could have heard a record scratch, though, when two boys of six or seven strolled in. They were straight out of central casting for the kind of kids who play bullies in the movies, and it only took a couple minutes before they had the girls trying to climb a bench and stand on the back rest. I ran over, pulled Annie down, and told her and the other girls that it wasn’t something little girls should be doing.
“But it’s okay for us big boys to do, right?” the boys said.
“You guys shouldn’t do it either,” I replied as I looked around in vain for their parents.
I was ready to take Annie home right then when I got a phone call. Only a minute or so passed before Annie tugged on my hand, distressed.
“Come on, Dad. You have to tell them!”
“Tell who what?”
“Tell those boys that Santa is real!”
I was totally caught off-guard by this but had a pretty good idea of what happened – Annie must’ve mentioned that Santa was coming to the mall, and the older kids dropped the “not real” bomb.
I felt sick to my stomach as Annie pulled me over to the boys.
“So I heard you guys don’t think Santa is real. Well, he’s going to be here in just three weeks. Come back then and he’ll be sitting right over there!”
Annie nodded as if to say, “Preach!”
“Santa’s never brought us anything,” one of the boys said. “Our parents buy our gifts.”
Annie swiveled toward me, awaiting my response.
“Then you REALLY need to come back in a few weeks to talk to him. I’m thinking he doesn’t have your address. Have you written a letter to Santa in the last couple years?”
The boys shared a look, then shrugged.
“Yeah, you really need to keep writing those letters every year.”
I thought I’d done a pretty good job of undoing the damage, but on the drive home Annie asked, “Why did those boys say Santa wasn’t real?”
I felt the anger rise in my throat as I replied that, while there are a lot of nice older kids, some like to tease little kids. (I actually think all little kids should hear that because it’s true.)
“Why?” Annie asked. “That’s mean.”
“It is mean. And I’ll tell you something else…” I was getting pretty worked up at this point. “Remember how those boys said Santa never brought them anything? I think I know why it is. It’s because they’re naughty!”
“They tried to climb up the bench.”
“What do I tell you? Naughty!”
“I’m not naughty, though.”
“No, you’re not, and if you continue to be good Santa will bring you some great presents. That’s a promise.”
Annie hasn’t mentioned what happened since then, and I’m hoping that she continues to believe in Santa for a little while longer. Unfortunately, she’s now been introduced to the idea that Santa isn’t real. I know some parents think it’s best to tell kids the truth about Santa right away, but I think Annie deserves a little Santa magic in her life – at least for a couple more years!
AlisonC says:
I really don’t see any harm in letting children believe in Santa.
My friends middle boy was starting to doubt about two years ago. I was over in NY visiting from Ireland for Thanksgiving nad we watched the Parade on TV then the original Miracle on 34th Street was shown.
I told him to watch as it was about a girl who didn’t believe in Santa and he was intrigued and loved it and he held on to his belief for another while. (He had been told by friends in school that Santa wasn’t real but that if you told anyone then you wouldn’t get any presents!)
Kylie says:
My parents used to tell my sister and I “if you don’t believe, you won’t receive!!!” – that stopped our questioning for YEARS! Now I work with children and I find myself using that same line if any of them ask me about Santa!
Maddie says:
Hello,
I’m sorry Mike, I don’t agree with you on this one. We really struggle with Santa, we don’t lie to our child about anything else, so why should we have peer pressure on us to lie about this?
Why can’t he just be a character, like Mickey Mouse or Ariel or Godzilla. Why does it all have to be ‘magic’ about how they receive presents? I know childhood is a short time and getting shorter, but I cannot for the life of me work out how lying about this makes it any better. I didn’t have a problem that he didn’t exist, but I can remember the hollow feeling in my stomach when I found out that my parents had done the one thing they insisted we should not do.
This isn’t bah-humbug, just a mother of a 2.5 year old that has to rev up to dealing with the other parents in our group, and wondering how to get through the next few years.
Annalisa says:
Ok, so here’s what I would say to your child.
“Is Santa real? I don’t know. But the idea of Santa got started with a man called Nicholas, who lived in the Balkans. He liked children, and saw how many were so poor, that he wanted to give them something to be glad for at Christmas, because that was and is, the grandest holiday most people observe. So he started leaving them presents. Word got around, and people started watching out for him on Christmas Eve. They would remind them to be good, to deserve Nick’s good deed. And every year Nicholas, even old and grey as he got, would show up with presents, some believe that even after old Nick was too old and passed on, the spirit of giving lived on, and it still does. That’s who Santa is. Now tell me: is giving presents at Chrismas not real? If it is, that must mean Santa is real!”
I got a version of this most years as a child. At first it helped me hold on to the belief of a real person called Santa, and later (even today), I understood the idea of Santa. And there’s nothing wrong in believing in this idea, that sometimes giving is the best gift. You can even turn it into a motivation for your children to learn to give things for Christmas, and get the best gift of all: that good feeling that comes with giving.
Sorry, don’t wanna sound preachy. It’s just that it’s not that bad to have children hold on to the idea that the giving spirit we experience at Christmas (and we should all year long) is a person, until they’re cognitively ready to understand the deeper meaning of that concept. You don’t have to lie about it, but what’s the harm in letting your child believe in giving if s/he wants to?
Alejandra Hernandez says:
I tell my daughter that if she wants to pretend that santa is real that’s ok. But she should know that her family members are the ones to thank for the presents because they all love her very much.
Maris says:
I, too, felt so upset when my older cousin told me at 7 that Santa wasn’t real. I cried but not because he wasn’t real. It was because my parents, uncles & grandparents had all lied to me. They would shake bells late on Xmas eve and say he was on the roof, write me letters from Santa, eat the cookies, etc…I felt like an idiot, like they played a cruel joke on me. I was so upset with my parents especially. I will be having kids within the next few years and while believing in the tooth fairy, Easter bunny and Santa was super exciting as a kid, I really don’t want to lie to my kids like I was lied to. The excitement that I felt those years I believed did not outweigh the hurt I felt at being lied too. Not by a long shot. My husband thinks its cruel not to lie about Santa so we are going to have a problem with this…this and Jesus. Sigh.
Jess says:
Santa is part of the magic of childhood.
Santa IS real. When my daughter asks me questions about or talks about Santa, I talk about him in abstract terms and I have let her know that some people don’t believe. But I tell her that I DO BELIEVE. And I do! For me, Santa is all the love and sharing and giving without expecting in return, that the holiday season brings.
I really love the explanation this woman gives of Santa. Found this last year, and once the question is posed to me, I plan to use a similar explanation:
http://www.cozi.com/live-simply/truth-about-santa
Vanessa says:
Maddie, my parents never let me believe in Santa (or the Easter bunny, tooth fairy, etc) either. They were of the same belief as you…they wouldn’t lie to their child. I promise, it never ruined Christmas for me. It was still fun waking up Christmas morning to presents and stockings, even though I knew it was from relatives and friends. Christmas is still my favourite holiday, and I don’t mind a bit that it never revolved around Santa.
I never had that horrible moment where I realized I was being fooled, so there’s that. If you don’t want to let your child believe in Santa, don’t. I don’t resent my parents for it in the slightest.
Jana says:
I am the mother of an only child. He cried when he found out Santa wasn’t real. I was heart broken that I had been a part of this lie for so many years that ended up making him sad. If I could do it over again, we would have Santa but it would always be clear that it was for fun, but not real. Just my 2 cents. I would never tell a parent how to raise their child. Live and let live, I just know I would it different if I had to do it all over.
shannon says:
I had kids believe up until the age of 10. As long as they DO believe I let them. Why ruin a child’s innocence. You did the right thing Mike!
Brenda says:
I have four kids that were raised with believing in Santa. We always told them if you don’t believe you won’t receive. My second oldest (11) just stopped believing this year. I asked my two oldest how they felt now that they know about Santa. They both said they would have been very upset if we had not let them believe. Now the two of them get to help my husband and I with our Santa duties, and they are just as wrapped up in the magic of Santa as they were when they still believed.
Alejandra Hernandez says:
As a parent that treats santa and tooth fairies like pretend characters I gotta say its also hard to raise your kids with the truth when many kids are telling your children that they are real. I tell my daughter that its pretend but that other kids may think they are real, so its not nice to say other wise to them. I was raised the same way, and although I knew santa wasn’t real it was fun to pretend. To each their own, but I agree those kids are probably naughty.
bellaf says:
I’m with you and Maddie above. I don’t have kids of my own, but I have a 5-year-old niece whom I love to death, and my sister (her mother) and I are not into magical thinking at all. We’re committed to always telling her the truth. The grandparents, on the other hand, seem to think that believing in Santa is the be-all an end-all of childhood and are mortally wounded when we suggest otherwise. They have even shouted at me for that.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for imagination. I just don’t understand why it has to be sold as reality.
I remember when I definitely knew it was all bogus. I was around 7 and my parents had a neighbor come into our house dressed as Santa. I remember looking at all that and thinking: “Do they think we’re stupid?” So I wasn’t hurt, but I did think the adults were kinda dumb.
Jackie says:
I think its fine to believe in Santa. I remember it being such a magical time! When I found out the truth I remember that I wasn’t sad at all because my Mom would only address 2 gifts from Santa. Those were whatever we really wanted and always something from our letter to Santa. I mean, how else could he carry all those toys down the chimney??? I think it was a lot of fun looking for the gifts from Santa that were hidden under the tree among all the presents from family! I always said I would keep this tradition if I had kids ( but never did). I love the idea!
mary ann says:
Wow how sad that parents would want to take some of the magic of childhood away from their children. I love how you handled those kids and their remarks. Annie is such a great kid because she has such great parents.
Joy says:
I’m all for the magic of Santa! My parents never let my brothers and I believe and while all our friends would get Santa gifts we’d each get one gift, unwrapped from mom and dad. I feel like I missed out on an amazing part of childhood. (They were super parents – just not into Santa and the Easter bunny!) We did Santa for my boys who are now teens and it was wonderful!!!
Kate says:
It’s funny, because I never felt lied-to about the Santa thing. I mean, I know this is the primary concern for parents who decide not to do the Santa thing, but when I figured out that Santa was my parents, I was just like, “Huh, okay”–no feeling of betrayal or disappointment. Same with the tooth fairy (and, I mean, I essentially found out that the tooth fairy wasn’t real because my mom’d screwed up, forgotten to take my tooth, and then basically said, “Crap, I forgot, I’ll give you double next time.” My mom is not at her best in the early morning.) But then again, I was the one who figured out that Santa wasn’t real, no older kid told me and dashed my dreams.
But I think it’s hard to keep up that magical experience when so many people now don’t do the Santa thing (I for one know as many people who do as who do not) and you start running into kids who’ve never conceptualized Santa as a “thing.” Growing up, I had a good friend whose parents didn’t do Santa, but his parents had always told him that because they weren’t religious and didn’t go to church, Santa didn’t come to their house and they bought the presents instead. And since that tracked with my understanding of Christmas (because Santa also didn’t come for my Jewish friends), I never questioned it.
As an adult, I kind of appreciate how his parents set up a scenario in which I could still have my Christmas (rather than a blanket, “Santa’s not real, full stop, the end”).
Sara says:
My 6 year old has really been questioning Santa this year. I told her that as long as she believes in him, Santa will always come. (We saw Rise of the Guardians soon after this conversation, which helped reinforce it for her, yay for movies!) She told me she still believes and that was it. I’m glad you were able to help Annie keep the magic for a little while longer.
Jen says:
When my kids ask, I always ask back “what do you believe.” And then go with whatever they said. I would tell them that different families believe different things and that Santa comes for some families (the ones who believe) and doesn’t for others. And both types of families are right for themselves. It’s a great chance for introducing the idea of tolerance for people with different beliefs/cultures. Then they could respond to someone who would say that Santa wasn’t real is that he’s real for our family.
Lisa says:
I have two boys, ages 21 and 18 and they ONCE asked me if Santa was real. I told them yes, he is. They then told me that a friend said his parents buy their Christmas presents every year and Santa wasn’t real. I told my boys that as long as you believe in Santa he’s real and brings gifts to only those kids that still believe in him. I then explained to them that their friend probably stopped believing in Santa and the parents realized that Santa stopped bringing gifts so the parents had to keep making it look like Santa still comes by buying the gifts and saying they’re from Santa. My boys thanked me years later for telling them that and they went on to believe it was the truth and never questioned it again… til they were teenagers. ha!
Kathy says:
The world is cruel enough that letting a child believe that there is a man that gives presents out is not the worst thing that can be done by a long shot.
The way my siblings are handling (was for my sister, her daughters at 11 and and nearly 9 know the truth) it is by asking them what they think, and they would think that Santa was real and that’s the only thing that mattered.
TamaraL says:
I never felt like I was lied to by my parents – and I believed in Santa until I grew up and moved out! I figured if I didn’t believe, then I wouldn’t get anything! I think it is a very personal decision for every family, but I personally can’t imagine not having the magic of Santa!
Bonnie says:
My children ask me if I believe in Santa and I tell them that I believe in the magic of Christmas. And I really do! We teach our children that Christmas is not our birthday, it is Jesus’ birthday so why do we get presents… They get one gift from Santa and one or two from us and then we GIVE to the local charities for Jesus.
Shawna says:
My parents did the Santa thing and when I found out he wasn’t “real” I wasn’t upset at all…instead my brother and I spent the next two days pointing out all the things we thought Santa had brought us and said “so *you* bought us this? THANK YOU!” I wish I still believed in Santa….I think my memories of Santa as a little kid are some of my very fondest. I hope my kids believe for a long time!
I also personally believe that kids and adults alike should be able to understand the difference between a real lie, and the “lies” parents tell about Santa. They are completely different. I mean, I tell my 4 year old all the time that I love her drawings and oh yes, I can definitely tell that’s an elephant….when in reality it’s a giant purple blob, etc. etc. We all “lie” daily
Alexandra says:
I really roll my eyes at the people who praise themselves for not lying to their children about Santa. It is my experience that these people usually have no problem lying to their kids about god and religion.
Kari says:
My whole thing is that I wouldn’t lie to them about god and religion, so why would I lie to them about Santa? It’s not a self-praise thing for all people. They can pretend that Santa exists, just like they can pretend like unicorns and fairies (or even god, if they want to) exists. But I’m not going to tell them straight up that they are real.
My parents didn’t do the Santa thing with us. Our presents either had a tag from “Sandy Claws” who we knew was our dad’s pun name, or just plain “Santa” who we knew was our mom. As someone who grew up in a financially disadvantaged home, I feel like it made me appreciate the lengths that my parents went through every year to get us presents instead of thinking that some magical entity brought them to us.
Amber says:
I am an only child. I figured out at some point that Santa wasn’t real, but thanks to my parents equipping me with the tools I needed to process it, I came home and broke the news to my mom in the bathtub by saying “Hey guess what? *I* know Santa isn’t real — SO THERE!!” My mom was devastated, but I was laughing at her because my attitude was “I figured it out, even though you didn’t want me to!” Pretty sure I was 7 at that point.
People are seriously traumatized about this stuff?
Jordan Taylor says:
My dad accidentally announced to me that Santa wasn’t “real” when I was about 8 or 9- he told me *he* stayed up all night putting together the bike I thought Santa brought me. I was kinda sad, but I still at 21 believe in the magic of Santa and gift giving.
I remember one year when I was in middle school; we were financially strapped after just moving so Mom told me I might not get a lot (or anything really) at Christmas. I understood that because of the circumstances we were in(though still being a kid was disappointed). However, I woke up on Christmas morning to some presents. There was one specifically from my Mom, but the rest said they were from Santa! My Mom had NO utter clue where they came from- our roommate had found them out on the porch (and had no idea where they came from either). To this day we don’t know who brought them… Mom suspected one of her customers but none would fess up.
I believe in the magic of Santa, not because he’s fake or real, but because the story of his gift giving spirit empowers us to be generous people and give with our hearts in the Christmas season. That is what I’ll teach my children about Santa.
Amber says:
Everyone getting all worked up about parents “lying” to their kids about Santa is getting me a little angry too! You cannot tell your kids the truth 100% of the time, it’s not possible. And for a small child, why not let them believe in Santa for a small amount of time in their childhood years, when you can still (somewhat) protect their innocence. If you do not want to let your child believe in Santa that’s your decision. But perhaps let your child know that some do believe and to not tell them any different.
In our home my 5.5 year old still believes in Santa and when he doesn’t I would expect him to keep up the façade because of his younger sisters. That’s called kindness.
Santa brings 1 gift at our home, something he has asked specifically for. He knows Santa has to bring to other kids as well and he’s fine with the 1 gift. This is a personal choice for us, as your decision is for you and your family
Susan says:
Man, I know it sounds silly, but this is a hot button issue, depending on who you talk to.
Some adults remember feeling like a fool and resenting anyone who told them Santa was real, and decided the fun of believing it was not worth the embarrassment.
Others were a little sad, but would rather have believed in magic for a time than never believing in it at all.
And others yet don’t care–it’s Santa. There are WAY worse things to be lied about, or it doesn’t matter if they know he’s not real or not. They let their kids make the call.
It’s hard because parents aren’t letting their kids believe in Santa to make fools of them, but to let them believe in something exciting and magical. So if the kid is angry or hurt by the lie, they feel bad for their good intentions having a bad result.
I don’t think there is any one, right answer. It depends on the child’s disposition.
As for me, being a really serious and rational child, I didn’t appreciate finding out he wasn’t real and was pretty hurt about being lied to (BUT I’m well over it now, since I know my parents had no malice whatsoever in letting me believe. They loved me and just wanted me to enjoy a tradition for a while). Yet other kids I knew didn’t care at all when they found out; just another part of growing up.
If my kids are anything like me, I better either let them make the call, or tell them that it’s fun to believe in make believe. It ultimately depends on the child.
Susan says:
A bit off topic, but I just thought I’d add this little tidbit about the idea of good/bad kids getting any presents (sorry, it got me thinking!):
Last year, I heard a woman tell a little boy (probably a nephew) in a store that she KNEW Santa was going to bring him a LOT of presents this year, because good kids got LOTS of presents.
Another customer gave her a look and said Santa didn’t have unlimited funds, whether a kid was good or not.
I never forgot that. I think adults dramatize Christmas because of their own involvement in it sometimes, even turning it into some sort of competition or show of (financial) ability. It just gets exaggerated to ridiculous proportions, and I understood the woman who didn’t appreciate someone saying ‘good kids got lots of presents’; it sets unrealistic expectations, hurts parents who couldn’t get ‘lots’ even if they had any desire to, and tells kids to rank others by their material rewards. How overblown some things can get.
SarahA says:
I wasn’t raised with Santa and I’m not planning on raising my kid believing in Santa BUT I will not let her destroy other children’s belief. I remember my mother telling us that Santa was not real but that we should NEVER tell anyone that fact. I will do the same. For us it’s not about lying, we just don’t celebrate Christmas.
Angela says:
Love this!
Alyssa says:
I wasn’t upset at all about finding out Santa wasn’t real, nor was I mad about being lied to either. I’ll never forget the day that I told my mother I knew she & my family were Santa. I marched into the bathroom where she was brushing her teeth and told her “I know you and dad and grandma are santa.” I was only about 7 and I had figured it out because I had recognized that santa’s handwriting looked very similar to that of my family member’s on my Christmas packages. I think she was surprised, but also relieved that I wasn’t hurt. Even at 7 I knew that they didn’t lie to hurt or trick me, but to make the season more magical and special. It didn’t take away from the religious part of the holiday in my house, but it added to it for me, because for me santa and Jesus worked together in my mind. Even though I was never told this is how it worked, I guess I came up with it myself!!
Sometimes kids are forced to grow up far to fast in this world. With all the scary and sad things happening practically daily, I believe that they should be given a chance to have a little magic before they have to grow up and learn that things aren’t always real or perfect and the world can be a harsh place at times. So let her believe for a little bit, she’s only this young for a short time before she has to grow up and face reality. Why rush it I think. In the end though, only you know your child best and as her parent, you & Heather will do what you think is right for her.
Shea says:
I can’t help rolling my eyes at comments equating telling your kids about Santa with “lying.” I highly doubt you tell your kids the absolute truth about everything all the time. Even if you do, not letting your kids believe in Santa is certainly your prerogative, but it sounds awfully judgmental and preachy to say, “I don’t tell my kids Santa is real because I don’t want to LIE to my kids” essentially implying, “shame on all you lying-liar parents who DO tell your kids Santa is real!” Please. Was I sad when I found out Santa wasn’t real? Sure. But I would never want to give up those years believing in the magic. Kids find out just how hard the real world is soon enough — I’ll definitely be letting my kids have the fun of believing in Santa when they’re little, and I’m not concerned whatsoever that I’ll be scarring them for life.
Mandy says:
You put into words exactly how I feel. I will never forget the magical feeling I had when I knew Santa was coming. They are kids for goodness sakes. Let them be little. There is plently of time for grown up ideas and beliefs. If you don’t want your kids to believe in Santa that’s fine but I would be ashamed if my kid ruined it for all of the believers. It’s also not fair to equate it to “lying”. I say great job Mike and Merry Christmas! Santa will be here soon…HO HO HO!!
Melissa says:
Hah – for some reason my head went away from Santa on the being truthful to your kids about everything. I mean what do you tell your kids when they are little when they walk in on you and ask what you are doing?
Rachel says:
Believing in Santa was one of the best parts of my childhood! Parents can raise their children how they choose, but it does bother me when other kids straight up tell little ones that “Santa isn’t real.” Parents should reinforce to their kids who do not believe that many other children do, and you have to watch what you say to not ruin the secret. I’m sure that you’ve already seen this, but the Norton Santa Tracker is super fun to watch on Christmas Eve, and it really kept my sister believing in the magic of Santa until her teens! You can track when Santa is in other parts of the world delivering presents, and it makes the idea of Santa and his reindeer so much more realistic!:
http://www.noradsanta.org/
Rachel says:
Norad Santa*
Jess says:
People are getting so worked up about Santa and supposedly “lying” to their kids (I believed and turned out fine.) I just wonder, do you all who don’t tell the kids there is a Santa also tell them EXACTLY where babies come from and how they get there? I mean sheesh it’s SANTA. unless you don’t celebrate the holiday for personal or religious beliefs let it go.
I think it’s ok to let kids believe in magic. The world is screwed up enough as it is.
Carrie G. says:
I always answer my kids’ questions with age appropriate responses. So, when my oldest started asking about Santa, I turned it back to him and asked him what he thought. When he came to the conclusion that he wasn’t real, I told him that it was fun to pretend and we talked about the real St. Nick. I also told him that it wouldn’t be fun if he ruined it for his brothers, so now we get to have the fun secret between us (I love his knowing looks to me when we talk about it). And, yes, when my kids ask about where babies come from and how they get there, I tell them in age appropriate ways with the real names for body parts. To do otherwise, in my opinion (and this works for our family and our parenting philosophy) if I make it a taboo topic, then they won’t feel comfortable coming to us later in life with questions. I would rather teach them about it then have them come up with their own crazy ideas or hear about it from friends. So, my oldest (who is 7) not only knows that Santa isn’t real, but also knows how babies are made. His response to that (because he asked HOW the sperm and egg came together to make the baby), “Gross. But, kind of cool!” And hopefully he will continue to ask me questions because he knows I will be completely up front with him.
Tauni says:
No 2 homes are alike. I am not going to force my Muslim neighbors to teach their children to believe in Santa. They have a mutual agreement and understanding and don’t teach my children that there is no Santa. I have always told my children that Santa doesn’t go to every home because different people have different religions and thoughts and Santa is tolerant and loving and doesn’t want people to have to go against their religions or beliefs to believe in him. That being said, Santa is real and alive in our home. My dad has been a professional Santa for my entire life. His dad was before that. Santa brings hope and excitement to children and if adults allow – to them as well. Why can’t we treat Santa as real as we do Mickey and Cinderella? Do you honestly say to your kids – we are going to disneyland but remember Mickey isn’t real! Do you have your children watch Cinderella and then remind them right after “remember she is not real?” No we let them believe! Where is the harm? I have 2 children. My oldest figured it out on her own, came and talked to me and we talked honestly. I told her that I DO believe there is a Spirit of Santa Claus. He brings happiness, joy and sharing into life. Santa Claus brings the Spirit of giving and Christmas in our home and everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but in our Home Santa does and always will exist! It is a choice each home and family can make but I find nothing wrong with believing in Santa and the Spirit of Christmas I think you did the absolute right thing. It makes me so sad that others feel that because they don’t believe that have to fight so hard to make others feel the same way. My husband and I have lived in true poverty, even the poverty that the government believes is poverty yet I was always able to keep the Spirit of Santa alive. It doesn’t have to be big and people should not use the excuse of no money to tell their children Santa isn’t real. That is just a reason they want to give. I am just fine with others not wanting to “share a lie” with their children but I don’t think they should force us to not allow that innocence in our own children. I personally don’t believe it is a lie because I truly do believe in Santa, even to this day! I am blessed right now that I get to be Santa and one day my kids will get to be Santa…it is a family tradition we pass down the line.
LisaJ says:
Santa exists in this house, and my 15 and 16 year old are grateful that I allowed them to believe.
Love the self righteous posts in another parent’s parenting. SMH.
LisaJ says:
Meant to add: they love making it fun for their little sister. Also, on, not in.
Amy says:
All the parents that say they don’t talk about Santa because they won’t lie to their children kill me. They NEVER lie to their kids? Ever?
I find it difficult to believe that they never tell little white lies to their kids.
I was in sixth grade when I stopped believing in Santa and I didn’t get angry at my parents. I felt lucky that I was able to believe for as long as I did. My sister’s second grade teacher told the whole class there was no Santa Claus and my mom was furious. It wasn’t tge teacher’s place to tell them that.
Santa is like every other parenting obstacle we as parents encounter, do what you feel is right for your family but don’t ruin it for others. Don’t shove Santa in the face of non-believers and don’t tell kids there isn’t a Santa if they want to believe.
bellaf says:
I think the word ‘lie’ may have been too strong and rubbed people the wrong way. What I think we all mean by that is that we don’t tell or teach our children things that are inconsistent with what *we* know and believe of the world. In my particular worldview, Santa fits a whole category of ‘things you should believe without evidence and/or despite evidence to the contrary’, which I personally don’t think is a good way to go about life. Therefore, I would not teach that to my child. Of course each set of parents have their own worldviews, which they will naturally pass on to their children, and have every right to do so. So it’s not a matter of judging other people’s parenting, it’s just different styles of parenting that have to coexist.
Carla says:
The only explanation I ever received from my Mother was that Santa was someone who loved you. To this day I know Santa loves me, my mother loved me, so in turn Santa must be real. My take is everyone needs to get out their copy of “Yes Virginia, There is a Santa Claus” and do a little brushing up on what makes Santa who he is!! I’m 41 and still believe….because I’m loved!
Lorrie says:
I find it interesting that you described the 2 little boys as looking like bullies. Why?? Because they were being normal children and proclaimed that Santa isn’t real?? I also find it a little strange that you felt sick to your stomach and anger rose in your throat??
I’m sorry, but I think it was wrong of you to tell Annie that the boys were naughty just because they spoke their truth to her.
Shea says:
Of course it’s rude and unnecessary, and perhaps “naughty”, for them to tell Annie Santa isn’t real! What you choose to tell your kids (if you have kids) is your business, but I sincerely hope you would tell them not to spoil it for other kids. I’m not religious but I would NEVER go up to someone who is and tell them what they believe isn’t true, just because that is “my truth.” And I hope people who are religious wouldn’t go up to people of other faiths and tell them their beliefs are false. Belief is a very personal thing, and truth is not absolute. I think it’s pretty sad, and frankly shocking, that you would support older children telling younger kids Santa isn’t really.
Paula says:
Santa IS real. Why are you writing a blog post that says he isn’t?? We believe in Santa and all the good he does around the world and how he KNOWS when you don’t believe.
You need to introduce Annie to Elf.
Merrilee says:
Please remember that these boys were just being exactly what they are. KIDS. Just kids. They weren’t being bullies or naughty. They were just being thoughtless. But you can’t expect little kids to be considerate, and live long enough and one day it could be your child telling another little kid that Santa’s not real.
Of course you want to be protective of your own child and have everything perfect for her, but that doesn’t make these boys naughty. It just makes them kids.
Just wondering, in the whole naughty kids don’t get presents explanation, because we don’t do Santa with our kids, how do you explain the absence of presents for under priveliged kids who don’t get any presents and who clearly aren’t naughty?