It looks like we may have jumped the gun on diagnosing Heather’s illness as food poisoning. I say this because, instead of improving today, she’s only gotten worse and spent the majority of the day in bed. I think it is safe to say that she has some kind of stomach virus that is going to take a little longer to get over than your garden-variety food poisoning. Man, you know you’ve got it bad when you WISH you had food poisoning. Poor Heather. Here’s hoping she’s feeling better tomorrow.
As you may or may not remember, I used to be a full-time high school teacher, and was often surprised by the unique ways my students expressed themselves. The funny thing is, even a few years after last seeing them in person, they are still surprising me…on Facebook.
You see, one by one my former students have found my profile and sent me a friend request. This is totally fine with me, and I have accepted all of their requests as I enjoy seeing what they are up to today. With that said, some of their status updates make me cringe. To give you an idea of what I mean, take a look at a few that popped up in my stream today:
“WeLpp off too beeed FB ; got an earLyy start 2mrw .”
What the heck is that? English? Or a cat running across the keyboard? I honestly had to stare at it a few minutes before I could translate it into: “Well, off to bed, Facebook. Got an early start tomorrow.” The weird thing is, I think the kid meant to type this exactly as written, because all of my former students use this bizarre shorthand. Here’s another:
“Lmfao haha UR srsly loco fo sho”
Um, what? Is it really that hard to write: “You are seriously loco for sure?” And what is the aversion to using punctuation? You can end a sentence. Really. They all don’t have to run on and on and on. I’m sure if my former students read this they would roll their eyes and tell me I am old and square, but if it makes me old and square to be confused by the following, then I guess I am:
“Neva been koo witta b***h so line it up or shut it up ‘bro’ … Talked all thee s**t and ain’t backed nuthin up yet so I’ll wait .”
Hmm. Maybe if I translate it into something closer to English it will make more sense. Let’s try:
“Never been cool with a b***h so line it up or shut it up, brother. Talked all of this s****t and hasn’t backed anything up yet, so I’ll wait.
Nope. Still don’t have a clue what the heck he’s talking about.
And then there is this last one. I understand it, but it still makes me sad:
im allegic to cheatin. and i hate failin. i am in love w. acheivment. above and beneath it. a hug when I greet it. my eyes on the prize and i love when i see it.”
Oy. It’s like the “shift” key on this kid’s keyboard has an STD and he doesn’t want to go anywhere near it. And is there anything more depressing than writing the statement “i am in love w. acheivment” and misspelling achievement? Sigh. I guess I am old because this post has basically just been a “Can you believe these damn kids?” rant.
You know what the worst part of all this is? I was their ENGLISH TEACHER.
Oh Mike. I’m 21 and I feel your pain on this. I’ve taken to removing my own friends from my facebook feed if they repeatedly write complete and utter crap, barely comprehensible to anyone but themselves and their bff’s, ho’s and bro’s.
.-= Sarah´s last blog ..Julie & Julia =-.
PS. gT Well SN Hedder! Thnkin of u bb. Loves ya!
TR. Get well soon, Heather. Thinking of you dearest. Lots of love!
.-= Sarah´s last blog ..Julie & Julia =-.
Christine Hendricks says:
OMG, hilarious post! Is it pathetic that though I am still (relatively) young and still sorta hip, hey I use FB, write a blog, have a meez, and follow some tweets; that it took me the longest time to realize what the heck the shorthand ‘lol’ meant? Sigh, we are square I guess.
.-= Christine Hendricks´s last blog ..A Rainy Sunday Afternoon =-.
Kate @ UpsideBackwards says:
OK, now I feel positively ancient! What on earth is a “meez”?!
Mike, I can’t imagine your pain. I’m not an English teacher, but I love the English language. It hurts me to read the sample “sentences” above, but at least I don’t have to own up to being partly responsible for their authors’ education! Thanks for the laugh, though.
Love to Heather, I hope she’s on the mend soon.
.-= Kate @ UpsideBackwards´s last blog ..Hooray! =-.
don’t feel bad kate…i have no idea what a “meez” is either!!
feel better heather….oh i hope so much annie doesn’t catch that bug! that would be horrible..you either mike!
A meez is an avatar you create and can export to use on other sites and in signature lines.
.-= Kristin´s last blog ..A Call To Arms =-.
That said, I find internet/IM shorthand incredibly painful to read. I think I find the substitution of “prolly” for probably the most irksome.
.-= Kristin´s last blog ..A Call To Arms =-.
oh…huh…still a little lost on the meez thing – i mean i know what an avatar is…sooo –
oh…is that why some people have their pictures in the little box beside their comments they leave on blogs…??? am i getting warmer? ha!
i feel so incredibly stupid!!!
Susan (5 Minutes for Mom) says:
Those sentences (if you can call them that) are terrifying. I’m cool with a little shorthand, but that is out of control.
.-= Susan (5 Minutes for Mom)´s last blog ..Remembering My Mom on Mother’s Day =-.
Susan (5 Minutes for Mom) says:
Oh… and I meant to say (before I got distracted by depressing Facebook texting) was that I really hope Heather starts feeling better soon.
How awful! Please send her my best wishes.
.-= Susan (5 Minutes for Mom)´s last blog ..Remembering My Mom on Mother’s Day =-.
Mike – you are truly awesome. An over-used word but one I am happy to employ when someone writes a post on spelling & punctuation.
I hope Heather gets better soon. I hope it’s not campylobacter. My daughter & husband both have had this – from chicken that wasn’t cooked properly. Can be tested for easily.
this is funny!!!! I laughed so hard and its 4am kids are sleeping. Heather i hope you feel better soon. I finally upddated my blog too
.-= misty ´s last blog ..pissed off now… =-.
The style of writing you described makes me nuts as well and I’m not a former English teacher. I have two intelligent young adult children, and while their writing isn’t as bad as your examples, they are quite casual when it comes to correct spelling and grammar. I blame it on the phonetic writing they did in early grade school and then the reliance on computers and spell check, but maybe I’m wrong. I read one of my younger son’s college papers recently and was quite impressed – and when I said “H, you really can write very well, why do you have such a lazy way of talking?” his response was, “Well, some of my friends aren’t that smart!” I don’t get it at all.
I hope Heather is feeling better soon and that no one else catches the bug, whatever it is!
I’m just 19, but the spelling of people my age just drives me crazy. In Dutch it’s okay, but in French it’s just terrible with all the accents.
Now I just hope my English spelling was not too bad…
I hope Heather starts feeling better soon.
I teach high school English too. The last example about misspelling “achievement” reminds me of all of the career essays I read where kids write about wanting to be a “peediatrishun” or an “anusthezyologest” yet, sadly, can’t spell their future profession.
I hope that Heather feels better soon.
That really makes me worry that they will actually become those things. Can you imaging having your “anusthezyologest” spell like that?
I know! It was bad enough that when I had an epidural the resident anesthesiologist decided to write down all of my information (name, weight, etc…) on his hand instead of a piece of paper. Seriously.
LMAO!!!.. for real. Great post…and as the mother of two teens (well one is now 20 and on the Dean’s list at her college)… I can totally relate to your rant. I’m alot older than YOU, also… so that must make me ancient. You’re still a kid
Well wishes to Heather –
.-= Karen´s last blog ..Painting The Town Red =-.
Ms. Anthropy says:
Feel better, Heather!
Mike, well said! I feel the same way.
At least there’s a properly placed semi-colon on that first status update!
[I’m a university professor and don’t mind text-speak in informal settings as long as students demonstrate they can write grammatically coherent material when called for.]
P.S. Best wishes to Heather for a speedy recovery; hope the rest of you don’t come down with this bug.
My best friend teaches some college courses in California and will forward me a weekly email of the correspondance she receives from her students! It got to be so ridiculous we created a facebook page just to be able to post them for the world to feel her pain!
1. Feel better Heather! Sending virtual chicken soup (or whatever you’re supposed to eat/not eat when dealing with a stomach bug) your way.
2. Mike, I feel your pain. Not only am I horrified by the spelling used by my younger relatives’ FB posts (along with their friends), but what is up with people airing dirty laundry on there? Thanks to FB, I’ve learned that a high school classmate just ended a relationship with a guy who apparently was engaged the entire time they were together. Alas, this is now what takes up space in my brain.
I feel your pain…texting is dumbing down our kids…when they text me, they don’t necessarily have to use correct punctuation (b/c it is supposed to be quick)…but I want full words, spelled correctly. I don’t want to see, “u r gr8”
Lynn from For Love or Funny says:
Mike, I really laughed when I read this.
Hope Heather feels better soon!
.-= Lynn from For Love or Funny´s last blog ..Proof that dogs can exact revenge… =-.
” It’s like the “shift” key on this kid’s keyboard has an STD and he doesn’t want to go anywhere near it.” <——BEST LINE EVER. Srsly. (did I do that right??) : )
Alfreda Johnson says:
Amanda—> I almost choked when I read it. By the way (BTW), You did it! Srsly Awesome!
mary c says:
I was trying to figure out the words before reading what they meant. I couldn’t do it. All my friends are square. I know a couple like ‘LOL’ and ‘WTF’ (that ones my favorite). but thats about it.
Hope Heather is feeling better soon! Hope she hasn’t had to spend to much time with the Loo!
No worries Mike their shorthand is not a reflection of your teachings, just a sign of the times. I struggle reading that shorthand and often have to sound out the words (which makes me laugh as I think about how “hooked on phoenix worked for me”).
.-= charlane´s last blog ..I love this neighborhood… =-.
Catherine Lucas says:
It’s horrible… but sadly enough as one of the other commenters says, probably a sign of time. Personally, I hate it. I told my sons to text me in proper language or I do not read it.
The B**h is probably booh, which is if I am not mistaken a new name for a boyfriend or girlfriend…
I am 54, so ancient in terms of present day youth, but hey, I do respect good writing. Even if I dare make mistakes in english because I am really flemish speaking (belgian).
It’s bad if you get to know people because of their writing mistakes…
.-= Catherine Lucas´s last blog ..‘t Was May, the lambs =-.
Yikes. Not being an english teacher, but an avid reader and writer, I despise the fact that my children use shorthand and have no penmanship abilities to speak of.
When a signature is needed, the oldest three look like they are having muscle spasms as they put the pen to paper.
Hence, this summer, I have a surprise for them. We are going to spend one whole week practicing penmanship,all four of them! I refuse to let them get away with a signature that looks like they tried to write blindfolded!
Lindsay from Florida says:
I have to be honest … as another past and soon-to-be-again English teacher, as well as an administrator for an educational non-profit group for underserved youth, it frustrates me that people found this post funny.
Because, your wonderful way of writing it aside, it’s not funny at all. It’s a perfect example of how proper English and slang English co-exist in one person. I guarantee you, those students know what you taught them, Mike, so don’t feel bad there. But if they use proper English in front of their friends, they get gems from their peers like, “Why are you trying to be better than us?” or “Why are you acting white?” Slang English preserves reputations.
The trouble is, it’s hard for students to then step out of the slang when in a setting that demands proper English. And that’s one of the countless reasons underserved students are at a disadvantage to their more privileged peers in the “real world.”
Alright, rant over. Thanks for giving me a place to express it though!
Oh express it here sister because this is just the tip of the iceburg as you soon will find out, and you MUST laugh at it otherwise you will cry yourself to sleep at night…every night!
This really is a serious issue.
I tutor a 1st grader who lives in a household where slang is common. His spelling, speech and writing are greatly influenced by this. To say it mildly, he struggles.
Well said, Mike.
Mary @ Holy Mackerel says:
Yo. I see this s**t all the time on FB, with my daughter, and it drives me bananas. She herself doesn’t do it, but many of her friends do. Crazy times, man.
.-= Mary @ Holy Mackerel´s last blog ..Travelling is a dangerous thing to do, so I did it for you. You’re welcome. =-.
You make me laugh & smile Mike. It’s just kids being kids. 1/2 the time I have no idea what the hell the teens in the fam are saying…but ohhh so fun to make fun of them.
Give poor Heather a hug and let her know I’m thinking of her.
Take Care My Friend – try NOT to catch the flu!
Alexandra :) says:
Lmfao haha UR srsly loco fo sho
This means “laughing my f***ing a** off haha you’re seriously (crazy) for sure”. I know because I’m a teenagers, and ALL teenagers type this way just because it’s faster. Including me, and I happen to be a writer and have an awesome English teacher!
I have visions of these young whippersnappers trying to enter the workforce and me saying “H to the no, fo shizzle my chizzle”. I agree with you. The rampant disregard for language is crazy and it’s sure to catch up with them one day.
Let me help a brother out. When the post does not make any sense at all, even after translating it to near-English, it is usually a song lyric.
You must have been a cool teacher if they’re finding you on Facebook. I hope the wife is feeling better soon.
Poor Heather! There is NOTHING worse than a stomach virus as far as illnesses go! Feel better soon!!
I loved the post Mike and I feel your pain. I can’t even stand it when my friends text me “K” instead of “OK”. Is it really that hard to add the “o”? My job requires formal writting, so I think I pick things apart more than most people would. Since they are my friends, I try to cut them a little slack
Poor Heather! Get well soon
As for the text talk and shorthand, it makes me cringe too. I don’t understand why it’s so hard to type out actually words.
A M says:
Not related to the blog post, but my husband came down with severe food poisoning once. You may want to google ciguatera and check the symptoms.
Oh, that was funny! I was a 7th grade English teacher in my past life. Not too long ago, I experienced the torture of scrapbooking with a former student. By the end of the evening, I was praying that nobody remembered the connection between the two of us, and I came home worried that I only THOUGHT I had been a good teacher. I hope Heather gets better soon!
I work in a hospital with a lot of people in their 20s and I am appalled at the “professional” emails I get that start with OMG!
It’s bad enough that all this occurs in thier personal lives, but i now have to teach email ettiquette to these kids. Unbelievable!!
Hope Heather feels better soon.
I hardly EVER comment…maybe I have twice and I have read this blog every day for over a year…
But my point is…this post was hilarious and true and made me a bit sad! I have a BA in English, although I am pretty sure I wouldn’t write like this even without it! I didn’t understand half of that and I am *only* 29. Hope Heather is feeling better soon! She and my husband share the same peanut butter antics, so I am always waiting to see what she might have to say about that…
Sarah P says:
Get well, Heather. Mike is turning into a very old man in your absence.
Mary Ann says:
This is funny and sad at the same time. I follow my cousins twitter page just to read the stupid things she writes daily for a laugh. She writes everything in “shorthand” and ends every post with her initials. If it’s your twitter page do you really have to add your initials – by the way she is 25 not 15! She can’t figure out why she can’t get a job maybe it’s because her future employers google her and read what she writes. Thanks for the laugh! I hope Heather feels better soon, poor thing. Be careful last time someone in my family had the stomach virus we all wound up getting it, it’s so contagious.
“The B**h is probably booh, which is if I am not mistaken a new name for a boyfriend or girlfriend…”
Taken in context, there is only one word that can be. (It’s not boo.) I also highly doubt the original post featured any c*nSRsH*p. Source: I tried to watch The Wire once.
Lindsey in the STL says:
Here’s to hoping that Heather feels better soon! That really stinks, especially when you have a little one around.
Your comments about this new slang had me LOLing! I can only imagine what it is like being a teacher today! I do get to hear the stories from family members who teach and I have have to roll my eyes. Amazing (sad) to say the least.
.-= Lindsey in the STL´s last blog ..Nu-Nu Adventure =-.
Oh, hahahaha – I feel your pain, quite literally. I taught university-level History for a while, and you can imagine the liberties that some students took with the historical record of the….entire world. A friend who is a prof recently read a student’s paper about the “assignation” of JFK and Martin Luther King Jr. – yes, well, that would have changed things considerably, wouldn’t it?
Hope Heather feels better.
Yikes, at first glance I thought that was “off to BREED …” ha ha. On second thought, maybe it’s close to what’s really happening, you never know…
Hope Heather is feeling well soon, no fun to be a sick mama.
Alfreda Johnson says:
I never really post much… but I know a little something about having “stomach” problems…. GET WELL SOON HEATHER!
You have my sympathies but its not a reflection on you!
I have banned my son using street or gang language at home – but I know it still goes on outside! And it reminders me of my mother correcting my pronunciation all the time during my teens. I’ve become my mother…
I made my ‘baby’ cousin laugh yesterday as I commented on her FB status with LOL. She thought it was hilarious that I would use LOL. Then it was embarrassing that I would find it so funny I would lmao (laugh my a** off). I pointed out that as a mother of a 14yr old I was embarrassing, it’s in the job description! She’s 15 btw!!
Heather get well soon!
Expat Mom says:
I used to babysit and teach Sunday school and now have some of those kids on my FB. It’s AWFUL how badly so many of them write!
.-= Expat Mom´s last blog ..Seen Around Antigua =-.
cindy w says:
Love it. My dad has a friend who taught middle-school English. After one of his classes was dismissed, he found a note on the floor. It said, “I tied dis sheet.”
Translation: “I’m tired of this sh*t.”
But the English-FAIL version of “I tied dis sheet” has become something we say in our family ALL THE TIME now.
.-= cindy w´s last blog ..where I’ve been =-.
Fo shiZzle dat bloWz sIde waZe.
It’s wack G.. just Wack.
That is hilarious!!!! I hope Heather feels better soon too!
I could have written this exact post about my teenage brothers and their friends. Their facebook status updates and the comments they leave for each other take forever to decipher. I usually only try when it looks like it might be something important or if they are leaving a message for me. Kids these days!!
Hope Heather is on the mend soon.
.-= Lisa´s last blog ..Bubbles, Bubbles, Everywhere Bubbles!! =-.
The Daver says:
Oh, MAN. I have the same issue. I can’t even handle people at work who can’t spell or use punctuation properly, and they’re not even using txt-speak.
But then, I also consider this to be a sort-of evolution of our communications (not language, really, but communications). As the world becomes more globalized, the de facto language of communication has become English, but thanks to technological limits (140 characters for SMS/twitter), and thanks to limited use of English OUTSIDE of communications, the lowest-common-denominator form of English is what we end up standardizing on.
The fact that you can translate it to semi-English shows that it is really just an English derivate, and the sentiments are left unclear ( if juvenile ) because the meaning is implied, not stated.
Those meanings are, of course, not terribly deep, but it’s not a research paper, it’s Facebook. What I’ve heard from other teachers is that students are surprisingly adept at writing correct English when it’s required but falling back to txt-speak when they are in a hurry.
Me? I still spell out all my tweets. I’m an old fart.
Feel better, Heather!
.-= The Daver´s last blog ..Presented without comment. =-.
That is TOO funny! So true, and hilarious. I hope Heather feels better soon! Give her some chamomile tea =).
P.S. I was very self conscious as i wrote this comment, double checking for grammatical errors haha.
.-= Marisol´s last blog ..Life in a Nutshell =-.
Mary P (Barnmaven) says:
A few of the 20-somethings that I worked with at my last job all wrote like that. I realized very quickly that I had turned into an old fogey, rolling my eyes and saying things like “Kids these days” and “What is wrong with the younger generation??”
Hope Heather feels better soon. Both my kids and I have had a 24-hour variety of it, I was sick yesterday and it was not pretty. At least mine is pretty much over.
.-= Mary P (Barnmaven)´s last blog ..Listless Monday: Butchering the Language(s) =-.
I hope that Heather is feeling lots better real soon! Oh; and I’m waaaaaaayyyy older than you, Mike, but this text language just kills me. These kids are going to be so deep into this bad habit of horrible spelling, and slang, that I wonder if they’ll ever be able to speak proper English.
Your post was FABULOUS! You wrote what all us nerds/square folk think of the cringe-worthy way the kids write, text or even speak these days. It’s truly pitiful and I hope to high heaven that my daughter (2 1/2 years old now) never, ever picks that up when she gets to be their age.
Sending all my well wishes to Heather and warm, fuzzy hugs too! Feel better – drink lots of liquids and eat crackers, toast or bread. My daughter and husband had the same thing – NO FUN for sure!
As the mother of a sophomore and a senior in high school, I feel your pain. I wonder what Miss Anabelle will confound you with in about 16 years.
Classic irony that you were their English teacher! I make a living as a writer and nothing makes me cringe more than seeing the English language demolished and turned into obnoxious garbage with misspelled words, no punctuation, and just a complete lack of grammar skills. It drives me CRAZY – especially when they purposefully misspell words! And I don’t think you’re old and square. I don’t think age has anything to do with being annoyed at this type of thing. It’s just sad because it’s only getting worse each year. I hope Heather feels better soon!
i read the things my old high school friends write on fb and think ‘how is that possible? we went to the same school. i was not a good student and i know how to put a sentence together’. it’s not so much the text talk, it’s the inability to use there/ they’re/their or of/off or used/use to.
i might be too lazy to use big letters but at least i know gooder english. hehehe.
Mike, I must say your post spoke directly to my current irriitation.
I am a graduated English/Literature major, and I must say that this is something that p*sses me off in the worst way. I just posted a status on my facebook page that read something like: “putting four E’s in week and purposely mispelling words does not make you funny or cool, it makes you an idiot who can’t spell”. When did such flagrant disregard for the English language become so acceptable? And why?
And a most important question- does it truly take you that much longer to type “week” in place of “wk”?!
Feel better, Heather!
There are many days when I feel like Liz Lemon. I try to appear hip, but I’m secretly checking urbandictionary.com to keep up.
I am laughing because I have the same conversation with my daughter (who is a senior in high school). What is up with the lack of punctuation? And the new thing the “kids” seem to be doing is adding extra letters in their posts? For example, “I’m hanggginnggg with myyyy bff”. What’s THAT about? I don’t understand it, and I don’t think I’m even using it correctly~ there seems to be some type of method to their madness.
The extra letters – I think they’re (yep, got the right one, whew) speaking ‘whale’. You know, from “Finding Nemo”, when Dory speaks ‘whale’….
Speaking whale LOL Love it!
.-= Lisa´s last blog ..Pepperidge Farm Homestyle Cookies =-.
Melissa in Ohio says:
This is hilarious and completely TRUE!!!
I had a high school English teacher who used to carry a red sharpie to circle improper use of the English language, including the massive abuse of punctuation. There have been many, MANY times I have wished for the Facebook equivalent of that red sharpie.
.-= Heather´s last blog ..Yo =-.
Of course, I realize the irony that my latest blog post is titled “Yo.”
.-= Heather´s last blog ..Yo =-.
I hate no capital letters. Very lazy.
.-= Megan´s last blog ..Corey Dillon arrested again =-.
Oh my gosh, I SO know what you’re talking about. Except for me, the problem is my OWN friends from high school. (Well, not ALL of them, but some of them.) You’d think that folks approaching 30 would have some sense of proper grammar, but so many do not.
My biggest pet peeve: using a number in place of a word. Like 2moro. Really? Is it so hard to write tomorrow? Do you think that looks cool? It does not.
.-= Amanda´s last blog ..Lilac =-.
I can’t stand all the shorthand! Texting takes FOREVER because I simply cannot bring myself to abbreviate words and skip punctuation and use asinine phrases like LOL or LMFAO. All of my FB posts and texts contain proper grammar and punctuation. Here’s hoping it rubs off on my kids….
Mike, I enjoy your posts so very much. Someone above mentioned these children having a hard time finding employment. I wish the younger generation, the ones who believe facebook is reserved for conversations with their peers who expect and understand shorthand would wake up. Employers have access to facebook and twitter. As well as blogs. Be careful what is written on social networking. I would have no hesitation in passing over a job candidate with poor grammar and inappropriate subtext in social networking. I don’t need a customer reading anything suspect written by an employee. But don’t be too hard on yourself. I imagine these kids learned very much from you and have made a conscious decision to revert to the unintelligible.
Lisa @ lists in my pocket says:
HAHA nice job translating! Feel better Heather!
.-= Lisa @ lists in my pocket´s last blog ..Homemade Frosty Paws =-.
Hilarious! My niece does that to an extent, but what cracks me up is that she’ll make the words *longer* than the real word would be!
I’m with Jenny. The last two are song lyrics.
I work with 9 school districts and all of the students “talk” this way. This is what texting has done to these young adults. They CANNOT spell. DRIVES ME crazy. Unfortunately, this is their norm!
Hope Heather gets to feeling better soon!
OMG, Mike; I don’t know if I should tell you I’m sorry or what!
Thanks for the laugh, definitely!
(((Hugs))) to all of you and especially poor Heather; I hope she’s on the mend really soon!
PS. Is it wrong that I’m suddenly so aware of my spelling and grammar?!? LOL
.-= jen´s last blog ..outside looking in =-.
I’m seventeen and in Grade 12 right now. I can honestly say that my friends don’t write like that on facebook! I can’t believe people do that on purpose! Is it not cool to write like a normal person anymore?
i’ve to agree with lindsay from florida. it’s not funny. and you’re probably hating reading my comment because i have a preference for not capitalizing letters. oh well.
.-= c.c.´s last blog ..random quarter =-.
The lack of capitals may irk me slightly (not that you care), but you use punctuation which allows me to fairly easily figure out your message. It’s when both are missing that it becomes a major issue for me.
.-= Sarah´s last blog ..Samoa! =-.
My 16 yr old son sent me a text last Friday night at 10pm as I was sitting in my car up at the highway waiting for the bus to drop him off, saying he had missed the bus and “prolly” had a ride with a friends mom. I didn’t know what irritated me more, the fact that he didn’t know for sure whether he had a ride or the fact that he spelled probably “prolly”. How can their English teacher stand it?
Tell Heather we’re all very worried about her and hope she gets well soon. Maybe she should see a doctor?
Hahahaha. I love it. I’m 31 and I have a 24 year old friend and I’ve learned so much from her. She abbreviates everything! Ridiculous is Ridic, “getting the details” is “getting the d’s…” I could go on.
You are funny Mike!
I’m 24 and I don’t abbreviate words. Maybe I am not “cool” enough…
I use words like snazzy and spiffy.
.-= Maile´s last blog ..A Purple Kind of Day =-.
OMG (as the kids say)! ” It’s like the “shift” key on this kid’s keyboard has an STD and he doesn’t want to go anywhere near it.” is the best line ever.
I’m by no means a grammar & punctuation fiend, but it really is sad how people write online. I honestly don’t think it’s because they weren’t taught because it is the bare basics people skip- capitalizing, punctuation. I think it’s just laziness.
.-= Sarah´s last blog ..Samoa! =-.
Just Jiff says:
HAHAHAHAHAH! I laughed so hard I choked on my coffee and couldn’t breathe when I read that last sentence. Then I clicked on the link that had the nasty letter written in a previous post.
I’m with you on the stupid grammar and spelling. It just makes teenagers look ridiculous. I remember I was NOT anything like that back then. Seriously.
Hope poor Heather gets to feeling better.
And I have a photo of Maddie that I look at often, too. I have thought about framing it and hanging it in my daughter’s room (who is about the same age Maddie would be now) to remind me of how precious life is and to appreciate all those moments, even when Bayley tantrums. Then I thought that may creep you guys out, so I haven’t done it.
Love you all (even though I have never met you).
.-= Just Jiff´s last blog ..5. =-.
you must be so proud!
.-= maya´s last blog ..Yes, I’m Still Here- Just Under a Ton of Boxes =-.
Okay, I am in my 40s and I am anal about proper English and punctuation and spelling. However, when I am texting on my phone, I don’t capitalize because it is so much easier to use lower case and I am always in a hurry. But my Facebook is always proper!
Alot of the younger kids/adults put words or lines from songs as their status. My kids do it all the time and at first I didn’t have a clue why they were putting what they were!
.-= Kay´s last blog ..Turtles Everywhere =-.
Hope Heather gets better quickly!!
Great posts Mike!
.-= Java´s last blog ..How to Make Your Photos Bigger In Your Postings!! =-.
And you were their English teacher..omg, funny!!
Wow, there has been a horrible stomach flu going around here. My aunt, cousin, and uncle had it and it lasted about three days. I hope Heather gets better real soon.
As for the English, I know your pain. I am not a teacher, however I have several family members that are full grown adults that still talk and type like that because their kids do and they believe it makes them cool. Little do they know it makes them look the complete opposite. Thanks for the laugh.
As a former second grade teacher (now retired), I have found or been found by many of my former students. They all seem to be doing well in their now adult lives, but somewhere I failed because some of them can’t spell or punctuate a simple sentence. So, I feel your pain.
Get well, Heather!
Stephanie Padilla Salgado says:
PRAYING THAT HEATHER FELLS BETTER SOON!!
That’s hilarious. My husband is also an ex-English teacher. I’m sure he feels your pain.
.-= Melany´s last blog ..I did it. =-.
Jen L. says:
Yep. I got crap like this in papers my students turned in for my intro to theatre class last semester. A few were handwritten. Those got handed back immediately with a disappointed look and a head shake. GAH.
.-= Jen L.´s last blog ..Find a happy place =-.
I couldn’t agree with you more. I get so aggravated with the youngsters in my list of friends who can’t be bothered to spell or use punctuation properly. And they all add letters to words – I don’t get it – doesn’t it take more effort to add extra letters, thereby making the word longer (ex: I loveeeee myyy frieendss)? I constantly complain about this to my husband. And yes, it makes me feel old to rant about it, but at the same time, they all sound like such lazy dumbasses.
Hope Heather feels better soon!
As for the Facebuddies, I wonder if they’re channeling my brothers-in-law. All three of them couldn’t spell to save their lives. To my enligh loving, grammar craving soul it makes me heave a little as I read their updates. I mean, seriously, who misspells Pretty? – “Pritty” agh! He’s 18 and supposed to graduate this year.
Oh, I feel your pain. I won’t friend my students on Facebook (grad student TA) because of fear of my pictures ending up on Hot or Not (which they did for a friend-of-a-friend). But their e-mails to me . . . and their papers. . . ouch.
Shorthand is a bit Greek to me. I don’t get why people can’t just type out the words. Maybe that makes me old and over the hill, who knows? The crazy status updates freaks me out too. Calling someone a b***h and vowing to kick some booty… yikes! Some things are just better left unsaid!
Hope you feel better soon Heather.
I’m a grammar monster. I’d rather chew aluminum foil than read things like that!! I just don’t understand why it’s so hard to use proper english either. Since when did it become cool to sound like a blubbering idiot!? Whew, rant over. I’m totally with you Mike.
I whole-heartedly agree Mike. You are definitely not alone! It’s not just a fad, it’s laziness and a lack of caring for anything remotely understandable. I can’t stand anything beyond the typical “lol,” and most people even abuse that one. How hard is it to hit the shift key, or hit a few more letters to spell out a word?? It’d probably take less time to do that than it would for them to think through how to actually compress their thought into this uncomprehensible jibberish the “right” way!
I’m from the south, and a few people I have as a “friend” (more like aquaintances) on FB like to write their statuses so it reads/sounds like it would as if they were speaking it in their country twang. I cringe when I read those… “Dis is amazin / doin mah thang / jus waitin wid mah hunnie…” Just use correct grammar! There is no rule that says writing online has to be incorrect!! GAH.
This is so funny! I just said the same thing about my nieces Facebook updates. She is graduating this month and I asked her if they had classes about this style of short hand… Of couse all I got in return was a pretty good eye roll!!
Feel better Heather! Thanks for filling in Mike!
Excellent work, teacher. Excellent work.
I have to admit, I love “OMG” and “WTF.” I think they’re funny, and use them for comic effect in blog posts and twitter updates. I have also been guilty of using “srsly” and “lol” on twitter, because 140 characters is just not a realistic limit for me. I am wordy.
BUT-I know how to write, punctuate, and spell a complete sentence. I’m not a grammar nazi by any means-I often have to stop and think for a second when it comes to apostrophes, and I am overly fond of the ellipsis… as well as the run-on, multi-clause sentence. (See?)
.-= HalynB´s last blog ..Slacking =-.
Dude, you is old!
I hope Heather feels better soon. Take good care of her!
Oh Mike–thank you! Not only did you make me laugh out loud first thing this morning on a day that wasn’t starting out that way–but, you addressed an issue that irritates me regularly.
I work in a position that requires reviewing employment applications. Need I go on regarding the frightening resumes I receive? And, to not be the only 30something out there befuddled by the use of the English language, well let’s say this post did my heart good. My husband is probably TIRED of the number of times I’m mutterring about the unfortunate spelling as I read resumes. And the shorthand–from people sending resumes—it makes me cringe. (I work from home so he sees a lot of this).
Hope Heather feels better soon, but thanks for the entertainment.
Funny post! I’m Facebook friends with my 14 year old niece and that’s the same type of jibberish that I see on her FB page. For her birthday I wrote on her wall but was afraid she wouldn’t be able to read it because I used actual words and punctuation to form sentences.
I hope Heather is feeling better soon.
.-= drlori71´s last blog ..Blame Canada =-.
I always thought I was a relatively intelligent person until I discovered Facebook. I rarely have any idea what my teenage cousins and many of my younger coworkers are posting. I did finally figure out the song lyric thing, though. That was driving me crazy. I really thought one of my “friends” was insane with her posts. It turns out she was just posting her favorite rap lyrics.
Too funny. I promise all teenagers don’t write like that, ha! Hope Heather gets to feeling better very, very soon.
So glad I’m not the only one who can’t stand the idiotic shorthand! At least I’m not an English teacher….it bugs me enough as it is!
Good afternoon. I love this post, it made me LMAO.
Please send Heather my get well wishes fo sho.
Jodie Brooks says:
Mike, this post is hilarious! I’m totally with you on this new language thing. I type everything out and these young kids make fun of me! LOL!!!
Heather, I hope you start feeling better soon!
Heather@Triple Blessing says:
ugh! That made me cringe. My nieces are teenagers and I can’t handle that they type in that shorthand. Their biggest offense is the word “wit” instead of “with.” Really? Is it that hard to hit the “h” key??
.-= Heather@Triple Blessing´s last blog ..A Winner! =-.
wats rong W you? dnt u gt it? GWTP Mike.
I do hav2 sA, dis 2 md me feel old. tnx 4t *L*. Hope Heather shakes dis nsty thng.
Sara GC in the FL says:
I LOVED this post – and feel your pain! I have some younger, former students of mine on my FB – and also spend time wondering what on gods green earth they are trying to say…and why they add to many extra letters to their words, excuse me, “whyyy they add so maaaany extra leeetttterrz”….ya know?
I’m 30 but I feel 90 when trying to translate a simple post- it’s like reading braille, with mittens on some days! Funny stuff!! I hope Heather feels better soon -but thanks for the entertaining post in the meantime!
.-= Sara GC in the FL´s last blog ..Sewing Project & Happy Tails =-.
I completely agree! One of my biggest pet peeves (besides Dora the Explorer and chalkboards) is when people type like that and use horrific grammar. I’m 21 and have never understood where the heck that “language” came from! I’m planning to be an English teacher as well, maybe it’s a teaching thing.
Is it too late to take back their diplomas?
Mike I’m totally with you! Or should I say “im ttly wit u” instead?
I had to Google ROFL because I kept reading it as “rolfing.” In my younger days that meant puking.
These kids make me shake my cane.
.-= Kelly´s last blog ..Friends Make The Good Times Better =-.
Michelle M. says:
Oh my goodness, this post is so funny!!! I get annoyed as well when people write like that! I can’t even stand to use very much shorthand while texting, and I absolutely refuse to ever type ‘lol’. That may have been the first time I have ever typed it. What makes this all so hilarious is that you were their English teacher. Haaaaa!!!!!
If it makes you feel any better, I’m a senior in high school and stay away from “text talk” even when I’m actually texting!
Not all of us are like this, so don’t lose faith! And I’m sure you are a great English teacher, your writing certainly shows it.
Amanda M. says:
This is EXACTLY why I don’t add my old students. Or, if I do, I block their status updates. I don’t mind keeping in touch if they want, but I CAN’T STAND their utter disregard for the basic rules of the English language. It is utterly painful.
.-= Amanda M.´s last blog ..Japan in Two Dozen Pictures =-.
My 12-year old neice is doing this on facebook as well. . . and I’ve been worried that she CANNOT SPELL even though she tells me she does it intentionally . . . still??
.-= Allison´s last blog ..Heavy Decisions – The Post That’s Been Brewing for Weeks =-.
Marti from Michigan says:
I think that strange language is called chatspeak? I cannot understand it at all, and I am just shy of 59 years old.
I never knew you were a teacher Mike! Maybe you can go back to it? Be a substitute teacher, or a temporary teacher, or just go back somewhere to teach? I’m sure you are great at being a teacher, and Annabel will get a head start when she starts learning her colors and her letters.
Thank you for this rant! My friends are the ones that post status like that and everytime they do I want to scream and cry!
Especially with one friend who really REALLY wants to be a writer. She is actually writing a book right now. I hope she isn’t facebooking/shorthanding her book…
You’re not alone….
Okay, so I can “get” the slang talk as much as it is possible to get. But I cannot wrap my head around using more letters than necessary, my younger cousin does this all the time on her Facebook as well.
Hope Heather feels better soon! Nothing worse than feeling crapy like that!! funny thing about how those kids talk is the fact that you say you were their “former” teacher as if to say they have graduated to college and have moved on to adult life and they STILL talk like that!! I think that last thing was a quote from a song! I am not sure someone talks that way, but hey who am I to judge. I wouldn’t even know where to start to write like that LOL!!
Oy! This is CLASSIC. Love it!!!
.-= Andrea´s last blog ..Life Lately =-.
my excuse for poor punctuation is that i have a coffee in one hand and my toddler has broken one of my shift keys and my backspace…
also, I once lived with a girl (very briefly) who used my computer without my permission to write her “professinal resume”
she was a real winner…
.-= Maile´s last blog ..A Purple Kind of Day =-.
This certainly falls into the “funny, but sad” arena. I just got an adjunct teaching position at a local university and I told my students last night that if they used text speak in their writing, I would go all red pen stabby on them.
I think that extra letter on the end of a word is a new high school thing. My 14 and 18 year old cousins are doing it like crazy. DRIVES.ME.MAD.
.-= Marianne´s last blog ..Contrast =-.
Heather should feel better tomorrow. It sucks feeling like crap. Both my daughters had the stomach flu in the last 3 weeks. No fun.
I too don’t know why they need to use extra letters. laaaame
Only now do I understand why my teachers in elementary school got upset when I would say the word “ain’t”.
.-= Rebecca´s last blog ..Any Botanist Around? =-.
My teenage niece unfriended me on FB because I was constantly correcting her grammar. It was painful to read. I gave up. I think there’s a generation gap for a reason.
Sending healing vibes Heathers way. Feel better.
Get well soon, Heather!
I wondered if that was the punchline to your post, Mike. I literally laughed out loud when I read it.
.-= Nanette´s last blog ..Star Ems =-.
Thanks for this post, Mike. I feel better knowing that I am not the only one who has a problem with it. There are people near and dear to me (ok, I have teenagers) and it will never be okay with me for them to text me in that… language. I have removed people from FB for such offenses.
Hope Heather is feeling better very soon! Big hugs.
.-= Diane´s last blog ..Bye Bye gallbladder =-.
HILARIOUS!!! You must be sooo proud!!!
I’m cracking up. I”m a teacher too – and I read the same things from my former students.
My own children? Well, yesterday, my 11-year old *said*, “O M G, Mom”
This is hilarious. I don’t feel like I’m old enough to go on the “you young people rants” but… I do. Never been one for texting or Facebook shorthand.
Hope Heather gets well soon!
.-= Kristin´s last blog ..More of Mollie =-.
Lee Cockrum says:
I hope Heather feels better soon.
I agree with you on the whole poor spelling etc. I can possibly excuse it on Twitter when you have limited characters or when texting with a “standard” phone. But I think it is ridiculous when you have a full keyboard (except for a few basics like “lol”).
ok so Mike when Annie texted someone and it will happen in about 10years, you will cring like me! It is really sad and I don’t know what to do as a parent…
.-= Deidre´s last blog ..End The Funeral With A Wedding =-.
This was a very entertaining post, I must say. So funny! My 17 year old is on my “friends” list on FB and so are some of her friends, and I can totally relate to what you are saying here. What is popular in their age group, so it seems, is to repeat letters in all the words. I have no idea why they do this, but they all seem to do it.
“Doingggg myyyy boringggg mathhhh rightttt nowwww. I hateee homeworkkk. Textttt meeeeee.”
They always add “text me” at the end of each update, too. As if all the FB updates weren’t enough, they need to be texted every minute, too. My 19 year old son never, and I mean never ever ever talks on the phone. I can’t even remember hearing his cellphone ever ring. Just that buzzing indicating yet another text message. It’s all about the text messages these days. Talking on the phone is a lost art, lol. Back in my day, we would talk on the phone (um, the phone that was attached to the wall and so you were restricted to that area of the house if you wanted to talk) all night long, until my mother would pick up the other line in the house and say, “Off the phone NOW” and not hang up until I did.
Repeating letters is the typed equivalent of whining or talking in slow motion… dragging the word out. Yeah, when you say boring in a whine, it’s actually closer to boooooorrring instead of boringggggg but it’s a lot easier to hold down your finger at the end of the word than to do it in the middle and then resume typing the word.
Not that I’m advocating/defending it, I just figured I would explain it.
.-= Della´s last blog ..Maybe you’d better check for that, too =-.
an std on the keyboard. I love that! As a fellow former English teacher, I feel your pain.
.-= LD´s last blog ..PSSSSSST! =-.
I consider myself young, Im only 23( in 5 days) but I can’t stand some of the way the kids write these day either!! Oh your post just made my day! Heather I hope you feel better soon!
.-= Nicole´s last blog ..Birthday Party Fun =-.
I coincidentally found this today:
yO, that shiT iz waK and; make Me twitch
Don’t be too hard on yourself Mike. You didnt fail them as a Teacher. Thats just the way they are. Can you believe these damn kids???
Hope Heather is feeling better really soon!!
Hope Heather is feeling better! It’s just the way the kids are nowadays. They don’t talk on the phone. It’s all about the texting. I always told my kids, if they want to speak slang outside with their friends, that’s fine… don’t bring that slang into my house. Proper English first! I think when they use the extra letters in words it’s to put an emphasis on the word/ sentence?! I don’t get it
HAHAHAHA! Oh the hilarity! You didn’t fail as a teacher, that is just the new, cool way of talking.
UR awesome. That is actually really hard to type because my phone corrects UR and turns it into “you are.” Then you have to manually override the correction. I’m hoping that by the time our kids are texting or holographing or whatever, things will have come back around and proper grammar will be cool again. It will happen just around the time we finally figure out what they’re saying so we’ll still be uncool.
Hope Heather gets well soon and the rest of you stay healthy. That stomach flu is a biaaaatch.
.-= Jennie´s last blog ..Kitchen Duty =-.
Wow, and all this time I thought my much younger cousins weren’t that bright! Now that I know they are writing like this on purpose, I am even more confused! LMAO
Lol! I must be a very uncool mom. One of the stipulations for my daughter to have a Facebook and a MySpace – besides privacy settings, modest pictures and friending me – was no text speak.
Do you want to know what really drives me crazy? WHeN tHeY TYpe LikE tHis and use shorthand at the same time! I’m a relatively fast typer and that took me forever to type out – I just don’t understand why kids want to shorten words so its easier or takes less time, and then make it difficult by randomly capitalizing letters! Or… maybe I’m just missing something and the “random” capitalization and extra letters actually means something and I’m clueless.
As another former high school English teacher, I feel your pain. And it is really painful to read that crap.
Hope Heather feels better soon and the rest of the family doesn’t catch it!
Jenny @ http://motherlawyercrazywoman.blogspot.com/ says:
“And is there anything more depressing than writing the statement “i am in love w. acheivment” and misspelling achievement? ”
Best thing I’ve read today!
.-= Jenny @ http://motherlawyercrazywoman.blogspot.com/´s last blog .."Smant" And Patriotic And Pretty As A Shiny Car =-.
TOO funny Mike! I, too, find all of this abbreviation, as a teacher, a little MORE than I can handle sometimes.
I teach 3rd grade and I just want them to spell correctly!! They KNOW how to text it wrong. (I see THAT kind of spelling a LOT on their tests!)
Glad to see your teaching days were productive! LOL
.-= Dawn´s last blog ..Happy 5th birthday Sam! =-.
Funny post. I am not into all of this new age texting and I really hate it when “I’s” are not capitolized.
My grade 6 grammar teacher (from over 25 years ago) befriended me on Facebook and I must admit I am very self-conscious when ever I post something. I am sure she is cringing!
Such an awesome post!! You know what really drives me mad? When my MOTHER texts me and does this. Except, when she does it she makes up her own abbreviations instead of the universally accepted ones. And by “abbreviations” I mean that she types the first letter of every word that she doesn’t want to spell out. For instance “c u ltr” actually means “call you later.”
.-= jill´s last blog ..swing, swing, swing. =-.
My brother is in your Facebook page?
Sadly, my brother is nearly 28 years old and texts people that way. He claims it’s because he’s Dyslectic…really, I think it’s because he’s practicing to write for LOL cats one day.
.-= Issa´s last blog ..Random things that could be Tweets, but then those of you who don’t follow me would miss out =-.
I completely understand your pain My sister in law is a high school Junior and I have to spend 5 minutes decoding a message before I can respond. Here is a recent Facebook post:
*the w0rst pris0n iz ah cl0sed heart///buht ah quick way tah defeat iz 0penin y0or heart tah s0m0ne n0ht w0rthy 0f the m0ments y0o kry>>guard y0or heart<>~+_*(
If my daughters ever write this way I will ground them!! That is horrible.
.-= Maile´s last blog ..A Purple Kind of Day =-.
Hi Mike, I totally get you!…My husband is currently teaching online to college students and it is a shame how they write….and we live in Mexico….so I guess this “writing” is going on everywhere…..sigh……it’s just plain awful….what’s going on with the kids these days?
It’s when my peers in their 30s use this nonsense that I realize that there’s no hope for my children. I actually removed a Facebook friend (Yes, in his 30s.) who wrote this way. I like the friend, but I was unfuriated by the updates.
.-= Sadia´s last blog ..Speech therapy – Weeks 7, 8 and 9 =-.
I have to admit, I’m really bad about the capitalization, especially in informal settings.
Also, in places like Twitter (or phone texts) where I have a character limit, sometimes I just have more than 140 characters’ worth of stuff to say, and the option of either splitting the sentence into two tweets, or shortening just a few words.
.-= Della´s last blog ..Maybe you’d better check for that, too =-.
I must be old too as I can totally relate!! The other one that drives me bonkers is the random capitalization…. sometimes it’s random words in a post; other times they pop up in the middle of a word. What is up with that??
Mike…I haven’t read the other comments…so this may have been said….but a lot of Facebook status updates posted by teenagers are lyrics. That’s what some that you’ve posted here appear to be. Also, having an almost 20 year old and a 15 year old…I too CRINGE when I see their “internet lingo”. Appalling!
Good grief…I hope Heather is feeling better soon!
My pet peeve? “Ur”.
You can’t be bothered to write out “your”? I suspect it’s a way to hide the fact that they don’t know when to use “your” vs. “you’re.”
Kids these days
Hope Heather is feeling better soon!
Mary in AZ says:
Mike, I can absolutely relate to your frustration. I can accept the crazy abbreviations in texts, but why on earth does that have to carry over to emails, FB status, tweets? I simply HATE it. And I’m sad to say that one of my very best friends (with a master’s level degree no less) is guilty of it daily. Her posts can make me crazy. LOL!
I noticed a severe decline in writing styles about the time that texting became an every day event for most people. At least that’s what I blame it on.
I think this is just a combination of laziness and lack of knowledge. NOT that I’m saying that you weren’t a good English teacher! Because I am sure you were. It’s just that some people never learn.
Hysterical! I get you! I am constantly demanding to know if the MLA changed common conventions. I don’t get half of the wacky shorthand I come across & enjoy both punctuation & proper grammar. I thought it was just me…but then I ran across this blog & realized I am not alone in my quest for proper grammar!
.-= Mary´s last blog ..Spending Time with my Girl =-.
Hee hee. I cringe at my best friend’s little sister’s posts. She is 19 now and writes in this kind of shorthand, only she capitalizes the first letter of every word. UG. WHY?!
Ahhh, good/bad times.
Chatspeak is pretty rough–I’ll use a little IF I’m actually texting or tweeting and need the space; otherwise I’ll spell things out.
And, hey, look at the school system–you had less than 180 hours per year to teach them. ;p