Up until a couple of weeks ago I hadn’t weighed myself in a long time – maybe six months or more – and I liked it that way. I could eat whatever I wanted and still convince myself that I wasn’t turning into a pile of goo.
“I probably weigh about the same,” I’d tell myself after polishing off a double cheeseburger. “I might have gained a pound or two, but I’m probably basically the same.”
This continued until one day I tried to put on a dress shirt and had to fight like hell to fasten the top button. I finally got it closed just as Heather entered the room. “Wow,” she said. “I’ve never seen a muffin top neck before.”
As sexy as my muffin top neck was, it got me thinking about my weight. “It’s been six months since I last weighed myself,” I thought. “What if I’ve gained more than a couple of pounds? What if I gained like five? Or ten? Or twenty. OH MY GOD WHAT IF I’VE GAINED THIRTY POUNDS AND EVERYONE IS TOO POLITE TO TELL ME?!?!?!”
Eventually, after worrying that it might be possible to have gained fifty pounds and not realize it, I got on the scale. It calculated and told me I’d gained… ten pounds.
“WHOOO-HOOO!” I shouted sounding disturbingly like Homer Simpson.
Later though, when the thrill of having not gained fifty pounds wore off, I realized I was going to have to drop those ten pounds. I’m a few weeks into a diet now, but there has been one obstacle that has made losing weight almost impossible: Miss Annabel.
This photo of her from last weekend is a perfect example why. It captures her jutting a half-eaten ice cream sandwich at me and saying, “All done, Dada!” I took the sandwich from her and looked around for a trash can, but as I did my stomach started to rumble.
“Don’t look at it,” I told myself like Indiana Jones telling Marion not to look into the ark of the covenant. “Don’t look!” But then I sneaked a peek and saw its melt-y, chocolate-y goodness. Heather knew exactly what I was thinking.
HEATHER: “You’ll hate yourself afterward.”
MIKE: “I can’t just throw it away. There are starving people in China.”
HEATHER: “Is that still true?”
MIKE: “I don’t know. The Chinese seem to be doing pretty well these days. But somewhere people are starving, and what kind of person would I be if I tossed out this ice cream?”
So, for the good of others, I wolfed down Annie’s leftover ice cream and licked my fingers clean.
The same thing happens almost every day. I finish my boring as heck, three hundred calorie diet meal just as Annie announces she’s “All done!” Next thing I know I’m standing over the sink eating her stupid, delicious leftovers and hating myself.
Amazingly, I have somehow lost seven of the ten pounds, but I probably would be back to my high school weight by now if it wasn’t for Annie. No one ever tells you that feeding your kid will make it so damn hard to lose weight, but it really does.
TamaraL says:
Ohhhh, so since I have three kids then I can easily justify that 30 pounds I have gained in the past ten years?? SWEET!
Heidi Herbst says:
Absolutely true. Good luck with your will power. Mine stinks and my weight doesn’t budge because of it :-/.
Arianne says:
I think Annie must be a neater eater than my Andie. When I look at the drippy, gooed left-overs, the LAST thing I want to do is put them in my mouth (though to be fair, my husband’s reaction seems closer to yours).
Heather says:
You lost 7 out of 10 pounds and your complaining? IN A FEW WEEKS?! 7 POUNDS IN A FEW WEEKS?!?!!!
You should market that! The toddler diet by Mike Spohr… you’d be a millionaire.
Rachel W. says:
This is why I hate all men. SO not fair.
Lindsey says:
“Pile of goo”! Hilarious! “Muffin top neck”!!! Heather’s comment reminded me of when my poor (ex)husband weighed himself and very disgustedly announced he was 200lbs and I said “that’s a ton, isn’t it?” He was not too happy with that little intentional miscalculation on my part!! I think only dads would think a melty, gooey ice cream leftover treat needed to go in someone’s belly instead of the trash. I want my ice cream treats pristine!! I love you and Heather – you have such funny takes on things!
nicole says:
It’s hard, but I have to tell my self “if it doesn’t go to waste, it goes to your waist”. Good luck… toddler food though… EEEEWWWW!
TracyKM says:
Awesome that you’ve lost 7lbs!
But “boring 300cal diet meals”? What do you do when you’ve lost the next 3 pounds? Diet over, and then what?
I highly recommend reading “Why We Get Fat” by Gary Taubes. It explains how our bodies work to digest food and what it does with the nutrients. It’s NOT at all about Calories In vs Calories Out. A calorie is a measure of the energy produced when a food in burned in a test tube. Our body does not set our food on fire, and uses each of the three nutrients differently. I easily lost 15lbs by following a low-carb/high fat diet (this works really well for those people who carry their weight around their middle). I get around 65% of my calories from fat, because fat does not affect insulin production, which is the cause of body fat accumulation. No boring 300cal diet meals for me ever again!
aqua6 says:
I know this isn’t the point of your post, which is intended to be light-hearted but if Annie is eating so much “delicious” food – is it really good for her? Should it be in the house all the time?
After losing weight over the last few years and trying to create a long-term diet that is good for my overall health, we’ve worked hard to cook often at home and tell our four year old and now our one year old that some foods are occasional foods and some you can eat more often.
I think if you deprive yourself or your kids of all sugary/fatty treats, they’ll want them even more – but just because you can afford the “junk” food doesn’t mean you should buy it often. We’re fighting this daily at our house. Just because the fast food is on our daily preschool route doesn’t mean we should eat it.
What’s worked for me is to have a little of whatever I’m craving (sometimes) and then fill the rest of the meal with vegetables. When we started dedicating as much creativity and time to cooking tasty vegetables as we did the entree or meat, it tasted better.
Congrats on your weight loss! I hope my comments don’t sound preachy, just trying to share.
Mike says:
The delicious leftovers I mentioned aren’t junk food. We make a big effort to feed Annie healthy food, but its not diet food like I’m eating right now. So when she leaves, say, leftover pasta on her plate, I can’t stop myself from eating it after my diet food.
It is a battle though, of course, to get toddlers to eat well. Annie does pretty well – she loves fruit, eats a number of vegetables, and loves baked chicken. For me though I need to focus on not eating a “second meal” off her plate after I finish my meal. Takes a lot more willpower dieting as a parent!
Annalisa says:
Agreed. It’s the portion control that’s killer, because you can be diligent with your own plate, but then a half eaten plate of food will be tempting, especially if your own food is relatively unappealing.
I also have a problem with uneaten pasta. That’s why the husband is on cleanup duty at our house for dinner. He will think nothing of tossing that plate of leftover veggies with pasta (our kid will only eat veggies if it comes with a side of pasta), whereas I just can’t deal with the waste of it.
My suggestion would be to ask Heather to be on toddler cleanup duty, and to take that “finished” plate away from the table as soon as Annie is done (and to swipe that oreo sandwich from you mid conversation, when you’re least expecting it).
TracyKM says:
You guys might be interested in reading “Wheat Belly” by Dr William Davis. No more pasta in our house.
And again with the word “diet”. A “diet” has a start and end date. Just think of this as forming new habits. It’s not a diet to not eat her leftovers, it’s a new routine to just toss them…while drinking a big glass of water to distract you, or eating some coconut oil to satisfy your hunger.
Annalisa says:
I appreciate the thought, but having had to go on a diabetic diet, I can honestly say it just won’t work to eliminate all pasta in our house. The cravings made it a lot worse than just sensible portion control, which meant sugar spikes. It was much easier to measure the carbs I could eat, and let myself relish them, rather than obsessing over not having any all day. When eating becomes restrictive in any way, that’s a path for unhappiness, which means you’re going to sabotage your own goals that much quicker. That’s pretty much what I learned while losing about 20 lbs.
So I will have pasta at least one time out of the day, but it’s a measured, modest amount. And the toddler? She gets ravioli filled with veggies, because she won’t get used to eating veggies if she never tastes them (I should know, I’m a recovering picky eater), and this is the only way to ensure she gives them a try for now.
Rachel W. says:
That is absolutely not true about the word “diet”. It’s a common misconception, but diet can also mean: “The kinds of food that a person, animal, or community habitually eats.”
TracyKM says:
I would never say to not have any carbs, but nutrionless, blood sugar spiking pasta would be my last choice. I know many diabetics who follow low carb/high fat and they would never eat pasta BECAUSE it does induce cravings and raise blood sugar. I’m pre-diabetic and that’s one thing I eliminated right away. If it’s giving me cravings, that’s not a good sign. “Wheat Belly” goes into this really well. It sucks to work through the cravings, etc, but I’m so much healthier now and don’t find my WOE restrictive; I find it empowering.
As for “diet” meaning the foods people eat habitually, etc, we (in weight loss support groups) use the term “way of eating” (WOE) instead of the word “diet” which has a significant negative association to it.
aqua6 says:
I think as the kids get older, it becomes more challenging too. Our 4 year old’s peers are eating a lot of stuff we wouldn’t feed her at home and with friends who have elementary-aged kids it sounds like a lot of of food battles come out during lunch at school.
My grandma is always good about saving half her meal for later. Whether it gets eaten later or not, who knows. Once I found out the calorie counts for a lot of foods, deciding to skip the bowl of cereal after dinner (or eating off kids’ plates), it was easier to eliminate the extra calories. A pound of weight loss is 3500 calories, so if you can eliminate 500 calories per day, you’ll lose a pound a week but it sounds like you’re already doing more than that!
Annalisa says:
Oh god, kid leftovers are the worst. I gained ten pounds since we stopped breastfeeding because my kid’s idea of a meal is to take one bite out of something and promptly proclaim “I finished! I done, mommy!”, and when I argue that she just started eating (usually at close quarters, since I eat when she does), she just shoves whatever she has in my mouth, then says “finished” again for emphasis. =(
Funnily enough, today I made a resolution to go back on my carb restricted diet from when I was pregnant (boy did I drop the weight then!), which would be fine and well, were it not for the apple slices and waffle pieces that were taunting me after breakfast.
Marin D says:
You aren’t alone. I have a hard time throwing away food from my kids’ plates. I find myself eating it. This is especially hard when it is something I love and they didn’t eat it. It means more for me. Haha! I am working hard at portion control. We eat plenty of healthy things – veggies, fruits, lean meats, whole grains, etc. – but eating too much doesn’t make it any healthier.
Jay - The Dude of the House says:
I know EXACTLY what you mean. I’m concerned that when #2 arrives I’m going to turn into a whale.
I also had a similar issue with my neck and found a way around it: I bought bigger shirts. Though that cured the problem it certainly didn’t help me feel any better.
Nicole says:
I’ve taught myself this….
I am NOT the garbage can.
The garbage can is the garbage can.
It sucks to throw away food, but we have to deprogram ourselves and not play the part of hungry scavenging dog in this one.
Congrats on losing 7#! I bet if you can resist Annie’s leftovers you won’t have much trouble keeping it off. Remember, YOU are not the garbage can. ; )
Glenda says:
congrats on losing 7 pds and continue to eat healthy. smaller portions and maybe go for a walk 30 mins a day. less calories… more exercise to maintain. it’s what i do and has worked for me.
Karen says:
Congrats on loosing 7 pounds. The only thing I can think of to eliminate the guilt of throwing away food in the garbage can (especially at home) is to start composting. You can throw all your kitchen scraps/leftovers in and feel good about doing something for the environment too.
Perhaps, you guys could do a little veggie garden or something and use the compost as fertilizer … get Annie involved in picking her own tomatoes and then eating them as well. Just a thought!
Ang says:
I have two toddlers and have lost 36lbs this year by eating salad or veggies, finishing what I “can’t possibly let go to waste” then determining what (if anything) I need. At fast food places (once every two weeks) or pizza I only eat what is leftover. This keeps me from overeating and my active boys eat more (it’s become a game not to leave it for mommy) and we read stories while mom eats.
Tauni says:
Overall you are probably still eating less calories overall so weight will still come off even with Annie’s delicious leftovers! Try http://www.myfitnesspal.com It is an AMAZING online resource that is free in and helps a lot with weight loss and fitness goals. You can literally scan the food label with your phone and all the nutrition info will pop up for you to put in for your food diary…so simple!
Weight loss and maintenance is a never ending battle I fear…I know I constantly battle it!