Taking a toddler to a restaurant is always a risky proposition. It’s a little like Russian Roulette – your kid can be awesome or a nightmare. What I never realized until I took Annie to a Mothers Day Brunch with Heather and my Mom was that a toddler could be both – an awesome nightmare.
I was a little worried initially about how Annie would do at the restaurant since it was a nicer joint than the “kid friendly” places we normally go, but I relaxed upon seeing it had a prix fixe menu. I assumed that, because they would be making a bunch of the same thing over and over, they’d get us in and out with relative speed.
I was wrong.
It took twenty minutes to order, then another twenty to bring out the first course. Amazingly though Annie was a perfect little cherub as we waited, and waited, and waited. She was still smiling when they brought out the main course more than an hour after we had sat down.
As we waited for dessert, however, Annie decided that she had had enough. She arched her back, clenched her fists, and cried.
I scooped her up and carried her into the lobby where I was shocked to find a dozen other dads with restless toddlers.
“Bit slow, huh?” one dad said.
“You’d think with a prix fixe…” another added.
We all nodded, miserable.
Just then Heather waved at me. The dessert had arrived. I hurried back with Annie to find a delicious chocolate mousse on my plate. As I dug into it, Annie started to act up again.
“Oh, no,” I thought. “There’s no way I’m going to leave this dessert behind to take Annie back to the lobby. It’s too good!”
It then occurred to me how I could change Annie’s mood – the mousse! I gave her a little bite and she LOVED it. Heather watched, bemused, as I gave Annie another bite. When I gave her a third bite, Heather grew concerned.
“Whoa,” Heather said. “That is way too much sugar for her.”
“But she likes it.”
“Yeah, well, you’re going to have to deal with whatever all that sugar does to her. Got it?”
I nodded, suddenly worried, as Annie smiled with chocolate all over her face.
A few minutes later Annie got a wild look in her eye. I lifted her out of her high chair and hurried back to the lobby.
That is when the combination of restlessness and mass sugar consumption lead to Annie’s morphing “Teen Wolf” style into the most awesome little monster toddler I have ever seen. She ran in circles and waved her hands in the air while indiscriminately shouting every word she knew.
“ELMO!”
“DOGGIES!”
“BYE-BYE!”
“UP!”
“HELLO?”
“ALL DONE!”
“ELMO!”
The other toddlers looked at her with both horror and amazement. “She must have got some of that dessert,” they thought, jealous.
Though I now know not to ever give Annie that much dessert again, I must say her display was pretty awesome.
Elle says:
“Annie’s morphing Teen Wold style”, that’s hilarious! My daughter recently had her second birthday and while we don’t give her sugar that often, after she had some cake and ice cream she was like the tasmanian devil, going from room to room in a blur.
Elle says:
*Wolf.
Lynnette says:
All I can say is Wow. I suppose I have this to look forward to in a few months. My almost 13 month old doesn’t sit well in the high chair unless she is actively eating. I’ll have to remember to limit the dessert.
Seriously, though, Annie is a wonderful little girl, even when she gets sugar. Stubborn today will suit her very well later as long as you and Heather survive it.
karen says:
Heather would have denied your daughter CHOCOLATE???
Well I’m sorry Heather, but no girl should be denied chocolate! Ever!
Next time, can I suggest that you have chunky crayons and a pad of paper with you? That way as boredom strikes you have something as a diversion whilst in the high chair.
Heather says:
mine had a similar reaction to children’s tylenol.
I though it would make my sick toddler sleepy and tired. Turns out my sleepy toddler was allergic to red dye and I had no clue.
Every see gremlins? Tylenol was like a post midnight buffet.
Barbara says:
Oh Mike, that’s hilarious, and SO familiar! As a Grammy to a 5 year old, a 3 year old, and an almost 3 year old, I have seen it first-hand so many times over the past few years! When we decide to get together as a family, it’s almost always at one of our homes rather than at a restaurant for this very reason. Annie is so normal, it’s a riot!
monica says:
We’ve all been there, and can relate. You gotta do what you gotta do!
Sarah says:
What a hilarious story to read first thing in the morning! I love Annie’s attitude.
Cheryl says:
Not only did you make me laugh out loud, you almost made me pee my pants! That is beyond hilarious!
My five year old had five adults standing around him with jaws dropped the first time he had chocolate cake…I can’t wait to see what my now three-month-old son does when it comes time for that!
Mel says:
I myself like the “awesome nightmare” line. My son always reacted to red food dye. Had to even watch any cough medicine that we gave him. He was like the energizer bunny if he had cherry anything and it would take him hours to calm down.
Tracey says:
Love Annie’s antics. In my own humble opinion, children need to go out for meals. They will not learn how to behave if they don’t go. So she got a little antsy -sounds like you did just great when it got a little overwhelming for her. Great job Dad!
Rebecca says:
Not to brag or anything, but it is nice too toot one’s own horn every now and again, right? I started taking my kids out to eat in restaurants around 4-6 weeks old. They (we) have learned how to handle it all and by the time they were each around 18 months old, my husband and I took them to Maggiano’s, where we eat ‘family style’ and it takes close to 2 hours for everyone to eat (we go there once a year with a group of anywhere from 8-15). My kids sit and eat and babble and are so well behaved the whole time. They are 4 and 6 years old now so…..all is good. But, yeah…..I’m lucky on this one……but that’s it so don’t get too jealous.
rachel says:
I LOVE the image of Annie running around in circles yelling out her entire vocabulary. Classic.
Rach L says:
Hoo boy! I wish I could’ve seen Hurricane Annie screeching and running!! As a server I always warn my family that going out the day of Mother’s Day is a big risk, even without children. The restaurants are so swamped that there is just no way to keep up with the extra volume, and managers with dollar signs in their eyes always overbook. It’s pretty cool that you can anticipate Annie’s restlessness and know what to do, letting her run in the lobby instead of in the aisles.
You two are amazing parents. Hope I can live up to your example someday.
Amelia says:
AHAHAHAHAA!!! I love the mental pictures I get from this post!
Courtney says:
What, no video? Loved picturing her running around while yelling out her entire vocabulary.
Lisa says:
That is hysterical. You know next time you are at a restaurant and order a decadent dessert she is going to be all over it. She’ll remember the awesomeness that followed the mousse and want more sugar!!
amourningmom says:
The meltdowns started before we even got to a restaurant on Mother’s day – so we ate at home. Very impressive that Annie made it an hour. Take care.
Sky in Seattle says:
i laughed out loud reading this! great writing.
Bradley at AmateurParent says:
I loved your observations and they totally resonated with me. We struggle with this also! Fortunately we have a favorite sushi watering hole around the corner that loves our kid, in both awesome and nightmare modes.
One thing we’re still trying to figure out is how to adjust our eating schedules to “toddler time”. Dinner at 5:30PM just sounds…awful. As a result, despite our best efforts to dine with child, our munchkin usually eats dinner on her own.
Annalien says:
You and Heather are both such great writers! I loved the way you told this story.
mp says:
Agree- restauranterize your kids early and then they know how to behave. This includes drawing on the tablecloths with crayons–hey, at least it’s quiet–and playing under the tables after they’ve eaten. Yes, it’s dirty, but have you heard of soap and water and hand sanitizer?
Also, it’s not true that sugar excites all kids. There have been studies to show that this. You may have a sugar-sensitive child. Or the excitement of a new place, a celebration or party is really the culprit for the wild behavior. And if you let your daughter eat cereal or puffs, it’s pretty much the same thing as eating pure sugar. Unless carbs come from whole grains, they are as easily digestible as sugars and simply not that good for you. Chocolate definitely has health benefits as well. So the food story may be more complicated than you think.
Noelle says:
I laughed out loud at the image of Amazing Annabel running around chirping every baby word she knows. Adorable!
Leigh Elliott says:
SO FUNNY!
Penbleth says:
I don’t know why I’m laughing, perhaps from recognition of the situation.
Awesome Teenwolf Annie!