For the longest time Annie was obsessed exclusively with “Yo Gabba Gabba,” “The Backyardigans,” and “Sesame Street” (also known as “Elmo!” in our home). Basically, if you were a dude in a costume, a cartoon, or a puppet, Annie found you endlessly fascinating. This changed, however, when Annie discovered princesses in the way teenage girls discovered The Beatles in 1964. It has been so cute to see her wear princess dresses and watch Disney movies on repeat every day, but her interest in everything princess has gotten so strong that I worry… can a little girl be too obsessed with princesses?
Annie, wearing her Princess Belle T-shirt
I have to say I am a bit surprised Annie gravitated toward princess stuff so strongly because Heather and I did little to introduce it to her. Yes, Heather took Annie to see “Beauty and the Beast,” but that was about it. Annie’s two favorite princess items – her princess doll and “I’m So Pretty” princess dress – were gifts from extended family and friends, and those possessions, combined with the occasional image of a princess on Nickelodeon, were all it took to get her hooked. This despite having spent lots and lots of time with her old man rolling around on the floor, watching sports, and practicing her best bear growl.
It’s clear to me there must be a genetic component at work here. We parents can try to mold our kids into whatever we want them to be, but in the end they will gravitate toward whatever it is they are programmed to be. Annie, like a lot of girls, feels some sort of gender identification with princesses, and her liking this stuff was probably unavoidable.
Annie, insisting on wearing her princess dress in public (with a Snow White shirt on underneath it).
Here’s the thing though… while Annie may be hard-wired to dig princesses, that doesn’t mean it’s good for her. Even a Neanderthal like me has heard troubling feminist commentary on princesses. Will idolizing these princesses with tiny waists set her up to have body image problems later in life? Will watching these princesses stand around being pretty while the prince saves the day teach her to be subservient?
Of course, banning princess stuff might mess with Annie’s head as much as letting her watch it. Perhaps idolizing princesses is a normal part of a girl’s development, something for her to identify with and then abandon as she gains a better sense of who she wants to be as a woman.
Or not. I don’t know. I just hope that my letting her watch “Tangled” (or “Princess Movie!” as she calls it) over and over isn’t going to lead to her spending years in therapy until she has a breakthrough and screams:
“It’s all my dad’s fault I’m so screwed up! He let me watch that movie over and over and over! Didn’t he see how damaging it was?! Didn’t he? Whaaah!!!!”
I tell myself that my being cognizant of the fact there might be larger issues here means I’m less likely to totally screw her up (because “knowing is half the battle” as G.I. Joe used to say), but this is very confusing nonetheless. All I know is that I’m going to do my best to figure it out because I’m committed to raising Annie to be the happiest, most well adjusted woman possible.
I just wish there was a more clear cut, obvious path toward making that happen.
Kate says:
I honestly think you’re over-thinking this one. Annie is 2, she’s young and she’s fickle and tomorrow she could naturally abandon everything ‘princess’ and move on over to monster trucks or trains. She could grow up to be anything and as long as you aren’t entering her into beauty pagents and covering her in fake tan and makeup, then you aren’t damaging her and encouraging her to be concerned about body image.
I would just introduce her casually to everything available (music, princesses, trains, planes, animals, food) and enjoy watching what she grows up to be like. If you do ever encounter unhealthy problems, take them as they come.
You’re both fantastic parents and whether Annie grows up to be a model or a scientist or anything else, aslong she’s happy and healthy it’ll all be ok. Let her be a princess for now, because she is and besides there’s only so long you can rock a princess dress in public.
Kristin says:
I agree with this comment 110%.
Allison Y. says:
Yep, it is just a phase. My two girls were obsessed with princesses but now at age 5 and 7, I see no lasting effects. They are well-adjusted, and Annie will be too!
Noelle says:
I completely agree. My daughter became fascinated with Belle around age 2. Sadly, they grow out of the princess phase south younger than you would think. I’m just glad that my now 7 year old hasn’t joined the ranks of other first graders who are obsessed with Justin Bieber. Enjoy this princess phase while it lasts!
Noelle says:
*so much* not south! Silly auto-correct!
Elizabeth Armstrong says:
There is nothing wrong with being a princess. It is just what she likes. My 6 year old never showed much interest in princesses and yet she still likes to paint her nails and wear lip gloss. She is mostly tomboy. My 4 year old will tell you she is a princess. She loves all the princesses and knows their names. She doesn’t seem to be having any issues. Annie is 2. Just let her be 2. She isn’t old enough to be worrying about all that stuff anyway.
Kirsty says:
I agree with the other commenters. My girls both went through a princess phase (though it was never very intense, for sure) and both have come out unscathed the other side. My elder girl, Carla (now 10) identified with Cinderella (and oh, how I dislike THAT story…) because “she’s blond like me!”, whilst my younger girl, Lydie (who’s almost was more Aurora. Carla moved on to other, still “girly”, things pretty quickly (Winx, Totally Spies, Hannah Montana (God help me), whilst Lydie became obsessed first with Tinkerbell and then – more surprisingly – with the Guy Williams version of Zorro. To the extent that she attended the school carnaval 2 years ago as Zorro…
Now, they both seem addicted to the god-awful Disney channel bland-fest (Good luck Charlie, Section Genius, Zach and Cody, Hannah Montana… GAH), but the princess thing, and even Tink to be honest, has passed.
They both ALSO love Lego, and Lydie is a champion Beyblader (and pretty much the only girl to play with them – they’re spinning tops, in case you don’t know).
I would let Annie live her princess passion; it WILL pass, I’m sure!
Karla says:
My husband and I also can’t figure out how the princess obsession happened. Buy these two books for Annie…Paper Bag Princess and Zog. The princesses in these books are a great contrast to those other princesses, and the books are fun! We have given in a bit to the Princess craziness, but now I am trying my darnedest to make all thoughts of Barbie disappear. Wish me luck! (if you can’t find Zog online-might only be available in the UK-I may have an extra copy)
Heather says:
Mine were princess fans, too. I had the same types of thoughts you had so we mixed in old DVD copies of She-ra, wonder woman and other self-rescuing princess types. When they were old enough we read books like The Extra-ordinardy Princess, we talk about healthy bodies and being independent when they get older.
Let’s face it. Rotund was considered the ideal during the Ren periods in history and little girls then did not have ‘nude art model Barbie’ to make them aware that heavy was the desirable state.
Raising kids is scary, even worse when you realise you’re raising someone’s future spouse. Don’t panic about what could go wrong, focus on making her feel self-assured and confident,,, princess obsessed or not.
Lora says:
“Tangled” is one of the better princess movies! She’s totally self-sufficient really, and saves the day herself! Just stick with that and Mulan, and you’ll be fine
On the other side, my little girl loves Tangled but most other princess she couldn’t care less about. I worry that she SHOULD love them more/want to dress up, etc. Ah, the life of a parent!
defendUSA says:
Mulan….girls can do anything! This is a stage, and yep, don’t over think it…Little girls need that kind of thing…
Blue says:
Read Cinderella Ate My Daughter. A little bit of princess-ness is fine, but be aware that marketing people 100% want you to push your daughter towards this, it makes your kid really easy to market to (and for) and little kids at this stage in life are looking for what they’re “supposed” to like, genderwise.
Little girls “naturally” want to eat marshmallows for dinner every day, too. They “gravitate” towards sweet food. But we force them to eat different kinds of food because it’s good for them; ditto for pink and princesses. Variety is the spice of life.
I’m probably the only one who doesn’t think you’re over-thinking it. Thinking about this stuff is good! Just give that baby girl some options. Science, dinosaurs, animals, superheroes. A little princessness here and there is fine, it’s not poison, but people drown their little girls in pink/purple and princess stuff, just watch out.
Laura says:
I was going to log in and say the same thing. Read Cinderella Ate My Daughter by Peggy Orenstein. This book was wonderful – an investigation about child development, constructions of femininity, and modern commercial culture. I know it sounds lethally boring when I describe it like that, but it was fascinating, often laugh-out-loud funny and totally engaging. She won’t provide you a prescription to figure this out, but just broader context and moral support
Ash says:
Ditto both of these comments. I was going to recommend Cinderella Ate My Daughter, too.
teri says:
Agreed. Read this book. So glad you’re thinking about this and wanting to make the world bigger for your daughter. You would think from the incessant marketing that it’s totally a pink princess world for girls and nothing more. I’d like to think we can do better.
Jenn says:
“Can a little girl be too obsessed with princesses”? NEVER!!! BUT, just like Elmo and the others, in due time this too shall pass and she will be into more “mature” things like the Disney Kids or the latest younger rock star. My daughter loved princesses from 4 to 7 but my 7 1/2 she was OVER THEM….BIG TIME!!!
Hold tight dada… in no time at all you will be looking at a 12 yr old Annie who once thought you hung the moon but now things you’re so lame and you will actually miss the days and the innocences of….yes….even the Princesses!! You’ll miss and wish she was your 2 yr old little girl again swirling around in her little princess dress singing I feel pretty at the top of her lungs!!!
Enjoy this time Mike…babes don’t keep and they grow up faster than you can imagine!
Heather says:
I am so hoping that it is a phase – my daughter was somewhat late to the party regarding the Disney princesses, however she loves the Barbie Princess charm school etc. In her case I think it is more of a fairy obession some days (she told me the other day she was Silvermist). Sometimes I just think girls like the pretty dresses or magical powers. As long as Annie has additional items or characters – which it seems she does – she will most likely decide one day that she is something else or wants to play something else. After a recent trip to the grandparents in AZ, my daughter only wants to play going on a trip complete with the ottoman being a security machine. I almost think I liked it better when she didn’t remember flying however I love her use of imagination. Enjoy!
Laura says:
Before I had my 3 year old daughter, it always slightly annoyed me to see little girls so obsessed with princesses. I just knew that MY daughter would not get into that, blah blah blah. Actually, for the most part, my daughter is not so into the girly stuff (don’t know if it is nature or nurture) but she has gone through a bit of a princess phase. And now, as opposed to before, it doesn’t seem so annoying to me. I think it is just fine if that is something she likes right now. I can probably say this because I do figure it is a phase (she just isn’t too girly girly in general) and she isn’t completely obsessed. That might change — and we’ll see how I feel then.
Have you read this post?
http://blogs.babble.com/babble-voices/catherine-connors-bad-mother-confidential/2011/12/20/a-princess-by-any-other-name-would-still-be-awesome/
Katherine says:
Our kid went through her princess phase. Now at 5 1/2, she likes Star Wars and Pokemon.
Oh, and as Disney princesses go, Tianna is all right
Carol Fisher says:
First, Mike, I want to say that you are a fantastic dad. In my opinion, the princess obsession is nothing to worry about. And do you want to know why I say that with confidence? It’s because you are a dad who CARES about it and who is already thinking about such issues. A dad who is “plugged-in” to his daughter’s life will have more influence on her than any princess, red furry puppet, or DJ in an orange suit. Our daughter is 12 and went through all the obsessions when she younger…Teletubbies (yuck!), Dora the Explorer, Backyardigans, Princesses, Hannah Montana, etc. She’s now a 6th grader who gets straight A’s, plays on 2 soccer teams (her middle school team and a competetive travel team), and loves her iPod and cell phone. I love that after roughing it up on the soccer field, she comes home and loves to paint her finger nails and coordinate her earrings with her latest stylish outfit. More important than any of those things, she’s kind, empathetic, and loving. Recently I was watching tv with her and we saw a clip of Adele performing. My daughter (and my whole family) LOVE Adele’s music and listen to it all the time in the car. While my daughter sat staring at Adele, she turned to me and said, “Mom, she is so beautiful!” It made me happy to hear that she thinks that because Adele doesn’t necessarily match the Size 2 image of beauty that fills alot of magazines, tv shows, and movies. We went on to have a discussion about the fact that Adele is not only physically beautiful, but she is chasing her dreams, and wisely using her God-given talents. Stay the course you are on, Mike, and Annie will grow to become the woman you dream for her to be. And don’t be surprised when she even exceeds your expectations and dreams!
Susan says:
I believe you’re over-thinking this one.
My parents raised 5 girls; some adored princesses, the others were indifferent. One used to take any article of clothing and try to fashion it into a “princess dress”; another, they put a dress on and she threw herself to the floor and cried until they changed her into something else.
They couldn’t MAKE one girl more or less into princesses than the other. The girls were determined to follow whatever they were interested in. It didn’t shape the people they eventually became; you can’t tell by their personalities/mindsets which one’s were fans of princesses and which weren’t. In fact, all of the girls ended up incredibly strong-headed (sometimes overly so), determined to do whatever they set their mind to.
Melissa says:
You’re not a Neanderthal!!
And totally check out Mulan. She kicks ass.
AuroraLynn says:
Hey Mike,
When my daughter fell for princesses (even princess Penelope was grand in my girl’s eyes)… I read her “The Paperbag Princess,” by Robert Munsch. It didn’t do anything to diminish her love of other fairy tale princesses, but it made me feel better as it gave her a more well-rounded view. And she loved it!
Just a thought..
Dianne says:
I would not worry too much. I was not a girly girl at all as a kid and was honestly relieved when my first child was a boy. Then I had a girl. I can remember my sister-in-law (who had two girls) holding my newborn daughter in the hospital and whispering to ask her who her favorite Disney princess would be. I scoffed at the thought – she was my daughter with my genes, there was NO WAY she would be into any of that stuff. Plus at the time I thought the Disney princesses were really stupid.
Fast forward to today, and my daughter is almost 5. Her most favorite thing? Disney princesses! And anything pink, sparkly and girly. She also has refused to wear pants or shorts for almost two years now. I can say that I did nothing to encourage this and in fact probably discouraged it but she found them anyway. She also likes soccer and Star Wars and playing with LEGOs.
My point? I think there is definitely a marketing and peer influence out there. But I also think to a certain extent, kids are just hardwired the way that they are. I am so glad that I have a daughter who has shown me that she can be her own person despite my influence. I have a feeling that her princess days are numbered and that someday I will look back on them fondly.
Lindsay from Boston says:
I’ve thought about this even before I have kids. I definitely consider myself a feminist (Women’s Studies minor in college, actually took an interesting course on Disney’s construction of femininity), but I also am pretty darn excited to introduce any future kids to The Little Mermaid and Sleeping Beauty, staples of my childhood just like Back to the Future was for you! Perhaps there’s a small disconnect there, but here’s the thing: yes, I grew up with all the Disney princesses, watching the movies over and over and over and being them for Halloween and being particularly obsessed with Ariel, which (for heaven’s sake) contains the line “But they dote and swoon and fawn on a lady who’s withdrawn, it’s she who holds her tongue who gets her man!” But I didn’t grow up to be an “Ariel.” I grew up to be my Mom, my Gram, my Nan … confident, strong, well-spoken, wide range of interests. Annie will respond to who you and Heather are, not to the cartoons on a screen. Absolutely talk to her about it, at a kid’s level, with some of the books already mentioned above or even just a little “Look, Annie, the GIRL saved the day! Cool!” in Beauty and the Beast or Mulan. It’s a stage. You’re clearly raising a happy, confident little girl and that’s what will stick with her.
Molly says:
Annie knows she is a girl. And princesses are powerful super-girls. It makes sense that a child would enjoy playacting as one, regardless of “hard-wiring.” Maybe just recognize what she likes about princesses–playfulness, power, feeling really good about being a girl, and be sure to encourage those desires! And point out all the millions of ways they can be expressed, so that when the princess phase fades, she knows there are lots of different ways to be a fun, powerful girl.
Noelle says:
Love this comment
Tammy M. says:
My daughter was the same way – loved her Disney princesses. Now that she’s 17, she eats whatever she wants, exercises daily and maintains a healthy weight and body image……and I can’t get her out of gray men’s sweatpants.
You both are great with Annie and it is already clear that she is going to have a mind of her own (yay!). I think I would just enjoy her phases, if you can.
LizL says:
You can think about it this way. You mentioned GI Joe in your post. Something, I imagine, you watched a lot as a kid. Was GI Joe a good role model (the PSA’s at the end of the episode, aside)? Probably not. Did it turn you into an army guy who fought the bad guys? No. Annie is impressionable, but she’s definitely got her own mind. She’s going to be just fine.
Britt W says:
1) Aww, protective Daddy is awesome. 2) Don’t worry so much. I was OBSESSED with the little mermaid. I wanted to be Ariel. But I still grew up to be a dirt bike, 4 wheeler, horse riding, play in the mud, car show kind of person. I still love Ariel. As we grow up (with the good examples that our parents instill in us) we understand it’s not about someone saving you, or how tiny you waist is, or how big your boobs are (or even how amazing your hair is) My love of Ariel translated to a love of the beach, and red hair, and willing to fight for I wanted. Oh, and Tangled is an awesome movie to love. She’s so BA, doesn’t give up, questions what sounds wrong to her, and tries to see the best in everything. So, I would be pretty happy that that’s the Princess she chooses to love. Ya’ll are doing a great job, don’t doubt yourselves!
Jessica Makuh says:
Have you ever heard of the book “Cinderella Ate My Daughter?” I haven’t read it, but would like to some day. Lots of people think princesses will ruin their daughters. I think it’s over-thinking, though. My daughters love princesses, too, and I’m not worried about it. I think there is nothing wrong with believing in fairy tales. They are uplifting. They cause you have to have dreams. Go after what you want. Believe. We could all use more of that.
Aimee says:
As a feminist, the princesses drove me nuts, but I also think that trying to control my daughter’s interests is a road to trouble , so I did a “grin and bear it” thing. Now she’s ten and I’m happy to report that she thinks princesses are “stupid.” I wish I’d known it would end so easily, I would have worried about it less when she was Annie’s age!
AmandaB says:
I know that Barbie comes with a whole lot of baggage regarding the body image she portrays for girls, but when my oldest was into her princess phase (ages 2-7) I would buy her the barbie DVDs instead of the Disney Princesses. In them Barbie is always the hero and she is the one saving the day. I liked that message so much better.
Julie says:
There’s a series of books you should consider picking up for her by Carmela LaVigna Coyle. “Do Princesses Scrape their Knees,” “Do Princesses Wear Hiking Boots,” etc. I read them to my little princess, and I love that they give a well-rounded view that it’s OK to be girly and climb trees and play in the mud too.
mia says:
I absolutely loved all the Disney princess movies and I even played with Barbies (gasp!). I have no body image problems. I never expected that I would look like the cartoon princesses or my Barbie dolls. I won’t worry about it if I was you.
Michell DuBose says:
When you asked my daughter her name as a toddler, she was Laura Frances Marie, princesss ballerina elf. And she has never out grown being a princess ballerina elf. And guess what!? She starts a 6 month internship at Walt Disney World in June! And maybe, if she’s princessy enough at the audition next month they will make her a princess at the park. Who knows where wanting to be a princess will lead!
Colleen says:
My just turned 2 year old is also obsessed with princesses. Every time we get the crayons out she asks me to draw princesses and every time she gets dressed she looks at me and says “princess?” while pointing to her outfit because we must have told her she is pretty and she put it together that princesses are pretty. I have no idea where he picked up on princesses but it must have took maybe one sighting or mention. We never pushed princesses ourselves and never bought her any Disney paraphernalia. It must be genetically coded in little girls!! I still limit the Disney princess stuff but I may start to cave because I would love to enjoy some of my favorite childhood movies with her like Beauty and he Beast and Little Mermaid!
Dee says:
When my niece turned four, someone at the party made a comment to her about playing princess, and she replied with “But I AM a princess, I have all the stuff to be a princess!” You can’t imagine the ring of laughter that ran through the room, and poor Emily had to learn then and there that she wasn’t really born an actual princess. Of course it didn’t deter her from future gowns and crowns. She was a girl through and through. Now as a teenager, she enjoys her makeup just as much as she loves beating her guy friends at video games. It all rounds itself out.
In my experience, the princess phase seems to wane around age seven, give or take depending on the girl. Don’t worry, something new is going to catch Annie’s eye soon enough, and then she’ll be playing princess rocker girl, or princess mommy.
hdj says:
My daughter was a girly girl and a tomboy at the same time. I have a picture of her passed out in a princess dress on her floor sucking her thumb in the middle of all of her princess dresses that threw up from her dress up bin.
And she would also run around outside in the dirt, raking pine needles, digging holes, picking blackberries and sitting by the bonfire.
My daughter is now 10, has never liked barbie (she’s boring), will have nothing to do with a princess, loves Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings, will only wear jeans, but always does her hair and wears jewelry.
She’s two – this, too, shall pass.
Jill says:
My daughter has 3 (THREE!) big brothers with all the trucks, trains and Legos that implies. Still she is the girly-girliest, pink-loving princess you ever did see (but she also plays with trucks, trains and Legos!). If I’ve learned anything after having this girl, it’s that girls ARE girls and boys ARE boys. You can’t (and probably shouldn’t) make them gender-neutral because gender is NOT neutral.
As for what she’s learning from the princesses:
Cinderella persevered in spite of hatred and discrimination.
Belle loved books and learning, sought adventure and was able to see a person for who he was inside and not for what he looked like. She was also brave enough to make an enormous sacrifice for someone she loved.
Tiana was a smart business woman who had a dream and followed it, despite the difficulties she faced.
Rapunzel made the best of a bad situation and continued to dream even though all seemed hopeless. When an opportunity to follow her dream presented itself, she took it and found truth and a new life.
Mulan was courageous enough to take on her father’s military service and showed that she could do anything as well as any man.
While I know that my daughter is, at age 2 1/2, attracted to the princesses because they’re pretty and wear fancy dresses, I’m not worried about what she’ll learn. I know what values I am teaching her and I also know that I can find many of those values right in the Disney movies she watches and I’ll be subtly pointing them out to her as the years pass.
Meyli says:
“Knowing is half the battle” – every time I say ‘now you know..’ my boyfriend says this, followed by GI JOE!!!
Anywho.
The fact that you know it could be bad for her means you’ll be wary about her exposure, and that a good thing. The bad thing would be thinking everything is WONDERFULLLLL for children, and nothing will harm them!
Sonya aka Glam-O-Mommy says:
As a girl who loved princesses and Barbie, and who turned out to be a strong, independent woman, I’ve got to say Annie will be fine. My parents always supported me and my interests and made sure I knew they valued how smart I was and told me I was pretty (even when I was a dorky 7th grader with glasses and highwaters) and that gave me the confidence and self-esteem to know myself and believe in myself that carries me till this day. As long as you are Annie’s best cheerleader in life, she’ll be the same.
My daughter loves Disney Princesses, but she loves Lightning McQueen and Tow Mater just as well! However, when she decided to be Cinderella for Halloween and put on her costume the first time, that was the first time she ever said “I so pretty Mommy!” about herself (even though we tell her that), which was adorable. She got to have dinner at Cinderella’s castle on our recent Disney trip and meet the princesses and she still talks about how they talked to her and they were so nice. It’s so sweet!
I hope it’s always a sweet memory for her, but I don’t worry about her one day growing up with unrealistic expectations of life. My job is to raise her right. But I have to say, I love this phase and am not looking forward to the tween years (I won’t let her have a Bratz doll!)-it seems to me like the real danger lies ahead!
Skye says:
I worry about that too and I don’t even have kids yet! As others have said, have Annie read Paper Bag Princess and other more empowering princess stories (and of course non-princess stories featuring strong women too). I’m not sure what else to suggest.
Gwen says:
It’s the pretty! The singing! The bright colors! That attract her to the movies. As for the princess dresses, I think it’s because they are so much more “dressy” than normal clothes and Annie is quite the fashionista. My son, yes you read that right, went through a princess phase too, actually it was anything that was sparkly, we called him Dame Edna Liberace for awhile lol. I never worried that it would drive him into therapy. Although when he asked for a ballerina princess barbie for his third birthday, I had to ask him why he wanted it. His answer, “So she can dance for my toys” for the record he hasn’t grown up to be Jabba The Hutt lol. At 13, he’s probably one of the most well rounded teens I’ve met, currently has a Hetalia and Doctor Who obsession and has close friends that are both boys and girls. Maybe I should thank the princesses
Susan says:
Any fan of Hetalia is a well rounded kid in my book!
Kay says:
She’s still little- let her be a princess! As a former princess fanatic, I doubt it’ll have anywhere near as much of a detrimental effect as you might think, especially since in a few short years, she’ll be surrounded by other little girls with strong parent-fueled opinions of body image. I’m still a princess fan to tell the truth, which when you’re an adult is fun since I now have the opportunity (and occasionally the means) to be as much of a glitter-covered pseudo princess as I want to be.
Angela says:
I’ve yet to read that Annie has done or said anything that indicates she’ll be subservient and not speak her own mind.
Here’s a link you might like. This guy’s daughter was invited to a birthday party. The theme specified that boys should come dressed as superheroes and the girls should be dressed as princesses. He sewed her a Wonder Woman costume, so that she could be BOTH.
http://girlslovesuperheroes.tumblr.com/post/7301419681/wdaria
Autumn Canter says:
I watched Princess movies when I was little and I also watched Ninja Turtles, G.I Joe and Conan the Barbarian. Even as a kid, I thought the princesses (besides Belle who loved books) were all kinda lame–though I still loved the movies. I wasn’t a “Tom Boy” but I wasn’t a “Girly Girl” either. I think you are right in thinking that Annie will find her own balance. She’ll learn more about the power of women from the women in her life and the men who show her how the two sexes interact more than from a movie. Let her enjoy Disney Princesses but read her “The Paper Bag Princess” as well. Show her many different types of females in media and she’ll come to her own conclusions on things.
jess says:
Oh puh-leaze. I played with Barbies and then in the 4th grade played X-Men with the boys. The teachers during their parent/teacher meeting told my mom “It’s a little weird Jessica plays with the boys during recess, she won’t jump rope with the girls” and mom said “Does she sit in a corner by herself?” “No” “does she cry?” “no” “Does she have fun?” “yes” “Does it interrupt her work?” “No” “Then what’s the big deal?”
So I say, “what’s the big deal?”
Princess now. Guaranteed she’ll be playing with something else come 5 months from now. Kids change as they grow. Screw society.
Karen says:
Read her Robert Munsch’s book, The Paper Bag Princess. Often.
statia says:
It’s very age appropriate. And impossible to avoid, if you frequent Target, or any other commercial store. My daughter is obsessed with all things Rapunzel. But it’s not so bad that she has to have everything Rapunzel. Since she’s exposed to a lot of stuff her older brother likes too, it’s not all princess all the time. She loves to roll with the old school Transformers too.
Kim says:
You and Heather will always have more of an influence on Annie than a cartoon princess. The way you interact with each other and with Annie will be the pattern she follows. Mike, Annie will make any man who shows an interest in her live UP or DOWN to the standard you set for her by the way you treat her mother and her. She will look to Heather as her model for how a lady/wife behaves.
Lauren says:
If it makes you feel any better, I grew up on the ‘Disney Renaissance’ movies- Belle, Jasmine, and Ariel were regulars in my life- and I don’t have any body issues or a rescue-me complex (I think). But, I also have parents who pushed me to be open to other genres, so while I still watch Disney movies at 22, I also regularly pop in Star Wars or Lord of the Rings (both of which have some pretty BA female characters!). Annie is going to see a wide spectrum of the portrayal of women in media simply by being alive. As parents, you and Heather can reinforce the healthy images and explain why some women in books or movies are not good role models. The good news is that I can’t imagine Annie idolizing a woman who takes orders all the time!
Honestly, I’m not sure that a two-year-old is really going to learn a lot of personality or behavior from a Disney movie. If you cut her off now, she probably wouldn’t even remember them when she was older. If you really want to worry about negative influences from media, start thinking about how you’re going to handle Twilight.
Lisa says:
I think it’s a phase, but also, she’s 2 years old – you and Heather are the ones providing princess movies for her to watch and buying her princess dresses and tshirts for her to wear and whatever else. If you’re that concerned, why do all that? (Granted, she’s cute as hell in her getups, but Annabel would be adorable in a burlap sack.) Regardless, the cat’s out of the bag at this point – she’s clearly into princesses. My daughter is only 14 months old, I’m no pro, but you are the ones who allow these things into her sphere of influence to whatever extreme. I don’t mean to sound harsh – I think you guys are good parents, really! As others have commented, there are positive lessons to be found in various princess tales, but to me that doesn’t seem to be why these things are marketed to little girls. Now that Annie’s so into it, just keep working to emphasize the strong qualities and positive lessons versus the pretty-pretty, prince-seeking, trite aspects. I can’t imagine that Annie is too into the “problem” aspects at this point, nor can I see you or Heather encouraging her that she needs to be pretty or find a handsome man to get by.
As far as relationships, she is first and foremost going to look to you and Heather as an example. She sees you two far more than any princess tale (haha, I hope!). And in that realm, I’m not worried. You guys seem to treat each other very well, and above all she will look to her father to learn what men are like and how relationships work. So really, no pressure, just keep being a great dad to your kid(s) and a great husband to Heather.
Trisha says:
As she gets older and develops more interests, the princesses might be out the window with the next big thing.
For my daughter who is 3, it was endless Yo Gabba Gabba and Mickey Mouse Clubhouse . Now it’s the Fresh Beat Band and Team Umizoomi on repeat.
We took her to Disney Princesses on Ice for her birthday and she was princess obsessed for about a month or two afterwards and then it faded away too.
She will do dress up and occasionally want to watch something princess related but just every once in a while.
They are such sponges during this age and seem to get bored with things quickly and want more brain stimulation from something new and fun.
I think you guys are doing a great job exposing Annie to many things fun and educational so don’t second guess the princess thing. She might be all princess one minute and than all rough and tumble the next and want to kick a ball around outback.
monica says:
ok I would like to just pluck her up in my arms in her little princess dress! She looks so little! I think that you are a fabulous dad and you have no need to be worried. Would you take cars/trucks away from your son if that’s all he wanted to play with?
Christina says:
1 – You can never “over think” the welfare of your children, especially not who their role-models will be which can have a huge impact on their self-image and life choices. Maybe she’ll grow out of it? Sure. So, drop the issue and take that gamble and don’t think about this at all? No way.
2 – How lighthearted Annie is about these cartoons or pullout the right messages, as pointed out by other commenters, is up to you as a parent and is determined by the conversations you have with her. I have a feeling you’re doing a good job with that. Just keep it up.
3 – The new Pixar movie “Brave”… the hero is a girl with wild red curly hair who competes in an archery tournament held to win her OWN hand in marriage. LOVE! Can’t wait! Take your daughters, everyone.
Noelle says:
On a lighter note, Kate Middleton’s parents probably had this same conversation 25 years ago and it seemed to work out okay
Rebecca says:
I think the appeal (at this age) is in the pretty dresses and the fact that a GIRL is the main character of princess stories. Think about it – how many other cartoons are there where a girl is the lead character? I don’t think princesses are the problem (and there are some good, strong princesses in the stories these days), I think it’s the fact that there aren’t a lot of stories/movies about girls OTHER than princess stories.
But I digress – I LOVE the line from the movie “A Little Princess” where the main character (a little girl who has been reduced to poverty and is now a servant at the school she once attended) says this: “I am a princess. All girls are. Even if they live in tiny, old attics; even if they dress in rags; even if they aren’t pretty, or smart, or young. They’re still princesses. All of us. Didn’t your father ever tell you that? Didn’t he??” I love how that turns the whole princess thing around, so that it’s not about being the prettiest girl at the ball; ALL girls are princesses, because they are ALL special, all loved, all strong, brave little heroines in their own little novella. I think if you teach your little girl that THAT’s what it means to be a princess, you’d be doing a good thing.
stephanie says:
I have two BOYS who went through the princess phase. It’s totally normal. The oldest, who is now 8, desperately wanted a princess nightgown. He still likes the movies but would certainly want nothing to do with any kind of princess clothing! My 4 yr old went through a phase of dressing up in princess dresses. He still LOVES princesses and will make that known to anyone in an ‘I dare you to laugh’ kind of voice. I’m pretty sure at this point he’s always going to like beautiful girls/women. I understand your concerns because I’m hoping he can see the beauty in all women and not have unrealistic expectations of what women “should” look like. I think it comes down to teaching and being the examples for them so they don’t get their values and morals from what they see in the movies.
giselle says:
Mike, you’re such a sweet dad! I was obsessed with princesses when I was a kid – I’m pretty sure I watched Sleeping Beauty a million times. And now, I’m a 31 yr old CPA in a great relationship where I am NOT subservient. Being strong and independent has always been a goal of mine – cultivated by my parents, for sure. I was taught from a young age that going to college was not optional and that finding a career where I could be successful and support myself so I wouldn’t have to rely on any man was also not optional. I am very grateful to my parents for that. Now, that’s not to say that I don’t still love princesses and fairy tales! But I think it’s ok to be a princess and be a strong independent woman at the same time. =)
Vica says:
I think her obsession will pass as you keep introducing her to new things and going to new places and you never know what the next obsession will be. Whales, dinos, sharks or Tigers.
Have fun and keep us posted on her next big thing.