About a week ago I wrote this post that described how Maddie’s big weigh in at the doctor’s office was a bust. Instead of gaining a bunch of weight as I had hoped, she’d barely gained any weight at all. If she was on some weird, spin-off of “The Biggest Loser” for babies called “The Biggest Gainer” she totally would have been sent home.
But she WILL NOT fail her next weigh-in. I, as Maddie’s own personal Jillian Michaels, have pledged to fatten her up. In order to do this I have been trying out some of the “get fat” methods people suggested.
The first suggestion came via Maddie’s nurse who said to feed her avocados, so I immediately ran to the store to buy one. When I got home I cut it up and threw it into the blender with some water. The result was a bizarre concoction that was as liquid-y as regular water but the color of the Incredible Hulk. As I stared at this stuff I started to wonder if I had discovered the next health craze…Avocado Water! Soon visions of becoming filthy rich by bottling the stuff – Mike’s World Famous Avocado Water – and selling it at health clubs danced in my head. Alas, the avocado water’s test run with Maddie dashed those thoughts as she refused to eat a bottle of formula made up with the stuff.
The other suggestion we tried was blending baby food into her formula. Surprisingly, this worked better and Maddie happily ate a “Sweet Potatoes & Chicken”/Enfamil formula hybrid. What, Maddie? THAT is edible, but not my awesome discovery of Avocado Water? Whatever, kid.
Anyway, as of right now I don’t know if Maddie has been gaining weight, but I will find out at her next appointment. Until then I have started to make myself feel better by thinking of things Maddie is bigger than like:
A bread box
The World’s Smallest Man
Raging Dad says:
Ew. Avocado water? I’m not surprised she turned her nose to that. My money is still on milkshakes and stake covered in butter. Blend it up!
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Surfer Jay says:
Haven’t you ever had a BEER belly before? Come on man.
Protein powder and raw eggs should also do the trick. Hey Arnie eats it.
Or you could stop making her run laps around the park with you at the crack of dawn. Not cool dude.
Really though, good luck, it must be frustrating.
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A Free Man says:
My boy still refuses to eat avocado. It was the first solid food we tried to feed him and we didn’t know what we were doing. He eats pretty much everything else though.
Don’t fret too much, you guys will get there.
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Avocado water… did you taste it, Mike? Please tell me you tried it.
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Ms. Moon says:
Mash up a really well-cooked sweet potato and put some butter on it. Maybe even a little maple syrup.
Mash up just a little bit of the avocado with her cereal. It doesn’t have much taste if done in small doses and perhaps mixed with bananas or peaches.
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Hang in there!! Avocado water is pretty bad, I would think but you never know, you might be able to sell it to a health store. Just add a little protein and some……..flavor maybe?
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Jen W says:
We used to mix in baby cereal with the formula. The taste wasn’t too much different (I’m guessing- never actually had the guts to try it myself). But we actually did that to get my son to sleep longer at night, not really to gain weight (is that wrong??). Anyway, both my kids were in the 95% for weight. I’m just sayin…
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Oscar never really liked avacado either, so I always had to mix it in with other stuff, like some banana and yogurt or with some sweet potato or some butter.
I also wanted to let you know that Oscar, along with at least three other kids I know, didn’t really gain any weight when they weighed in at thier 9 month appontments. It was like they were in some kind of holding pattern. But, they did put on weight after that. I know Maddie’s circumstances are different, but hopefully it’s just a normal growth thing, where weight just hasn’t caught up to her height yet.
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I remember when I was very young and my uncle had a broken jaw that prevented him from eating solid foods. One time he bought bean and cheese burritos from Taco Bell and blended them up in a blender to drink through a straw. It was the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen. That is until I watched Andrew Zimmern eat a sea slug on Bizarre Foods last night.
Don’t worry too much, she’ll catch up eventually. Jocelyn is 26 months old and barely weighs 22lbs. Once she’s old enough for peanut butter and ice cream it’ll actually be fun to fatten her up!
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Have you tried blending in oatmeal or rice cereal? They recommend rice to start cause it is easier on the tummy but any of those should help add a little extra punch to her bottles. A little Jack Daniels might help too…..I mean you ALREADY took her to a bar!
You are so funny – although I dunno, she might fit pretty nicely in that bread box. Definitely huge compared to Smurfette, though!
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Maybe if you belnded up some tortilla chips with her avocado water, throw in a little cheese, she might enjoy it more. Nacho water! Maybe NOT the next great health craze.
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daddy dan says:
Mike, your avocado water won’t sell, but what about guacamole water? Get a little more flavor. Feel free to run with that idea, but when you need a VP for your company, keep me in mind.
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Captain Dumbass says:
Hulk Juice, nice. Hey, I gave you an award, whether you want it or not. It’s pink. Sorry. Mommy peer pressure is a bitch.
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Avacado water sounds kind of gross. Did you try it?
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The sweet potato formula is exactly what worked for us during the eating strike. I don’t get it. As if baby food isn’t revolting enough.
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if i didn’t think the phrase “i just threw up in my mouth” was totally 3 years ago..i would totally use it…because avocado water?? oh. my. heck.
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Yeah – not so sure I would drink the avocado water either. My 2 year old is so tiny and petite as well, she is always “under the charts” but she is healthy. Some babies are just little We did have to start giving her supplements though and a little more fat in her diet. So we started letting her have full fat creamer in her coffee……JUST KIDDING. What we did actually is take her to various carnivals and fairs and let her eat fried oreos, twinkies and funnel cakes she could handle….JUST KIDDING. okay, I’m done, really though, just keep offering a balance of fruits, veggies and meat, and I would also suggest adding baby cereal to her bottle to make it a little thicker and heartier.
Hmmm…she won’t touch the avacado water? Well, I can’t understand why not. After all, it sounds so appetizing! I say cut to the quick–simple carbs and refined sugar. Now that’s where it’s at!
Ignore all the underweight baby talk, that’s what I say. Both my kids were said to be dangerously underweight, even by some supposedly qualified people, even though they were both just in the bottom quarter of the charts for weight and weight-for-height. I’m assuming there are babies skinnier than yours out there, just like other qualified people pointed out to us, and like they told us, I’ll tell you– if she looks healthy (which she certainly does), she is, and just keep offering her food.
Que sera, sera.
maybe it is because i am sitting here watching the phillies… but dollar dog day might help… and some $9 beers with nachos… what is that you ask? yep watching the phils and reading blogs, how times have changed. rice cereal worked for us.
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gillian michaels says: