About a week ago I wrote this post that described how Maddie’s big weigh in at the doctor’s office was a bust. Instead of gaining a bunch of weight as I had hoped, she’d barely gained any weight at all. If she was on some weird, spin-off of “The Biggest Loser” for babies called “The Biggest Gainer” she totally would have been sent home.
But she WILL NOT fail her next weigh-in. I, as Maddie’s own personal Jillian Michaels, have pledged to fatten her up. In order to do this I have been trying out some of the “get fat” methods people suggested.
The first suggestion came via Maddie’s nurse who said to feed her avocados, so I immediately ran to the store to buy one. When I got home I cut it up and threw it into the blender with some water. The result was a bizarre concoction that was as liquid-y as regular water but the color of the Incredible Hulk. As I stared at this stuff I started to wonder if I had discovered the next health craze…Avocado Water! Soon visions of becoming filthy rich by bottling the stuff – Mike’s World Famous Avocado Water – and selling it at health clubs danced in my head. Alas, the avocado water’s test run with Maddie dashed those thoughts as she refused to eat a bottle of formula made up with the stuff.
The other suggestion we tried was blending baby food into her formula. Surprisingly, this worked better and Maddie happily ate a “Sweet Potatoes & Chicken”/Enfamil formula hybrid. What, Maddie? THAT is edible, but not my awesome discovery of Avocado Water? Whatever, kid.
Anyway, as of right now I don’t know if Maddie has been gaining weight, but I will find out at her next appointment. Until then I have started to make myself feel better by thinking of things Maddie is bigger than like:
A bread box
The World’s Smallest Man