There is park just down the street that is perfect for children. It has a playground full of swings and sand, a pond that is home to many beautiful ducks, and open spaces covered with plenty of green grass. Despite this, until last week Heather and I had never taken Annabel there. That is because the park is where Heather and I took Maddie on the last Saturday we ever had together.
That last Saturday Maddie had a great time riding the swing, and I had just as much fun watching her giggle and smile.
Once finished with the swing we sat Maddie down on a bench in front of the duck pond…
… so that she could watch the ducks and squeal, “Duckies!”
It was a pleasant, simple afternoon. The kind that, had things turned out differently, would have faded from my memory because it would have been just like so many others.
Last week, when we finally took Annie to the park, we started on the swings just as we did with Maddie. Like her sister, Annie loved it.
However, upon trying to take Annie to the duck pond, we found this:
The pond had been drained for repairs, and it was surrounded by a chain link fence that kept people out.
Heather and I peered through the fence at the bench Maddie sat on that last Saturday. It was now peeling and weather beaten.
We stood there a sad moment before turning away. The irony that we literally couldn’t go back to that happy place with Maddie wasn’t lost on us, but neither of us mentioned it. Instead we choked back tears and took Annie to play elsewhere in the park, hopeful that that day would soon be forgotten among so many others.
Damaris @Kitchen Corners says:
What a lovely post. It always seems so very wrong and confusing to me that after we loose someone the world continues, small things like the duck pond being closed for repair, takes place when we so desperately can’t understand how things can possibly go on without the one we lost.
Rumour Miller says:
This. How can the world go on when the one we love so very much is gone.
Hugs. Lots of them.
Elle says:
I’m so sorry. I wish I could give you some words of comfort but saying I’m sorry that you’re going through this are the only words I can find.
Ashley says:
I’m so glad you took so many pictures of her in her beautiful, yellow dress.
My heart aches with and for yours.
Sue says:
Beautiful, beautiful Maddie memories…………………………….
Hugs to all of you, Mike.
Deborah says:
(((hugs)))
Jenn says:
OOhhh Mike, such difficult memories. As I looked at her picture in her bright, little yellow dress, I thought how surreal it is to think just a few days after that she was gone. It is nothing less than heartbreaking and I am so very sorry it is.
Sending you much love, support & friendship as yourself, Annie and Heather transition into your new home. I know leaving the home you once had the excitement of bringing Maddie home is indeed so bitter/sweet.
I hope your new home brings you all endless joy, many adventures, lots of laughter but most of all…a real sense of solace.
Thinking of you…today, tomorrow and always!!!!
Jenn
AngieM. says:
oh mike, i’m sorry. this hurt my heart for you
many hugs
xoxo
Marnie * says:
This brought tears to my eyes. You and your family are always in my thoughts.
Rebecca says:
The spirit of your little angel dressed in yellow lives on so beautifully through your and Heather’s words.
Sherry says:
I think of you guys often. Maddie in that gorgeous yellow dress with the matching shade of sunshine in her hair….pulls at my heart strings. Big big big hugs to you guys.
MrsP says:
hugs***
Pattie says:
Hugs and love to you and Heather.
Glenda says:
You have a beautiful way with words. Bittersweet memories of beautiful Maddie!
Sending you hugs!!!
Sarah says:
Douglas Park. We had the same problem with Meredith this weekend. She kept asking “Where duckies go?”
Lisa says:
You’ll always have that moment on the bench in your heart. Hugs to you guys as you wade through bittersweet moments like this weekend.
Rhonda S says:
The grace and strength you and Heather show are exceptional.
Penbleth says:
I’m so sorry Mike.
mccgood says:
I don’t know how you do it day after day. You guys are amazing.
Ray says:
That photo of Maddie is amazing.
I hope that someday soon the pond is re-opened again. So you can all rejoice in Maddie’s memory. Just like you wanted to, on that day.
Elizabeth says:
Sending hugs and love your way