Full disclosure: Once upon a long time ago I used to be a teenage boy. Despite this, I recently crossed paths with a number of teenage boys and made the shocking discovery that teenage boys are THE MOST ANNOYING PEOPLE IN THE WORLD.
The first teenage boy to annoy me is the bag boy at our new supermarket. This kid is the definition of awkward – gangly, suffering from acne, and sporting braces so large that you see them before him. For some reason that is unclear to me, this kid talks to me at great length whenever I drop by. Here’s an excerpt from the last time I went in:
AWKWARD KID (bagging a container of pico de gallo): “This stuff is so good. I just discovered it. You know how I discovered it? By going to Taco Bell. They’ve got these new tacos, called cantina tacos or something, and I got one, and it had all this stuff in it. I said to my Dad, ‘What’s this stuff?’ And he said it’s called pico de gallo. And I was like, ‘I don’t think I’m gonna like it, but he said it was good, and so I ate it, and it was really good. Do you like Taco Bell?”
ME: “Uh, sure.”
AWKWARD KID: “Me too. It’s like so good. I went to Del Taco with my Dad, and I asked them if they had pico de gallo, and they said they didn’t. I couldn’t believe it. I totally thought that since they are sort of like Taco Bell that maybe they’d have pico de gallo too, but they didn’t.
He went on from there for another ten minutes. All about pico de gallo.
The next teenage boys to cross my path sat behind me at a screening of “Warrior.” The movie is about Mixed Martial Arts (the element that likely attracted the teenage boys), but has a lot of serious drama mixed in. In one scene the wife of one of the main characters rises from bed in her underwear and proceeds to have a tear filled conversation with her husband about the possibility of their home being foreclosed on. In the middle of this tense scene I suddenly heard:
TEENAGE BOY 1: “Dude! She’s in her underwear! Check out her butt!”
TEENAGE BOY 2: “Nice! Hey! Imagine if she farted right now! Ha ha ha!”
TEENAGE BOY 1: “That would be so funny! Like if all of a sudden she was all, ‘BRRRAAAPPPP!!!”
TEENAGE BOYS 1 & 2: HA, HA, HA, HA!”
Ugh. Is it possible that I was once that annoying? If so, I think I need to call my parents to apologize.
The good news is that I won’t have to spend much time around any teenage boys for quite some time. Unfortunately, when I do, it will with the most annoying of them all… the teenage boy who is interested in my daughter.
and that is when you will love awkward boy. He’ll be too busy talking about pico de gallo to be much of a threat.
I’d much rather deal with those annoying teenagers than the rude ones I’ve dealt with lately. I about got run over by one yesterday when picking my kindergartner up at school. I know I was a very annoying teenage girl and I dread my kids being teenagers!
As the mom of a 19 yr old boy and a 16 yr old girl, I understand what you are saying. My son witnessed his younger cousin acting like a teenage boy and said, “Mom, if I was ever like that, I’m really sorry.” It was cute.
I completely understand. Last winter, after months of anticipation, I went to see Black Swan in the theaters. This is an event that rarely happens as I usually refuse to pay the movie fee unless I’m convinced it will be worth it. It would’ve been worth it, if I wasn’t surrounded by obnoxious boys who apparently haven’t learned to handle themselves in public. The masturbation scene? You would’ve thought we were watching SNL’s “best of” doing stand up comedy. And that was NOTHING compared to when Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis kissed. There were cheers…. cheers. c’mon!
Cherry on the ice cream? Most of them weren’t even teenagers.
Vickie Couturier says:
You ever watch the Waltons,the show about when JimBob was 14 an every other word was huh,or I dont know,he went around looking up at the sky but didnt know what he was looking for,,,omggggggggggggg,at the time I thought that was funny,until I raised one myself,,,,actually 2 of them because his clueless,hormonal,14 old friend was at my house more than his own,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,you could just watch from afar an they looked like Zombies walking around with no idea where theyd been or where they were going too,,,thank God they grew out of it by the time they Graduated an now are fine young men,actually they are both 37 now an really enjoy me embarrassing them telling my stories to their wifes,,now thats fun! PAYBACKS
I’m raising my very own soon- to-be teenage boy. And while I love him to the moon and back…he’s so annoying. The conversations about stuff I don’t care about (video games) go on and on and on and on and on…you get the idea. And the lack of showering and general hygiene. I swear I have to FORCE him to change his underwear. Teenage boys are gross, I’m so glad it’s just a phase…right???
I will take an annoying teenage boy over an annoying teenage girl ANYTIME. At least the boys aren’t oung thru 50 different moodswings within 60 seconds!
This is hilarious. We not only have two of our own right now, we willingly take in three others each year who come stay with us during the hockey season. I could tell you many interesting stories about actually living with a pack of annoying teenage boys!
My son will be 14 in 10 days and he gets more obnoxious by the HOUR!! The child does.not.shut.up. But from what I recall, at 14 I was extremely emotional and dramatic so I’ll probably take being annoyed over the hysterics. I have enough of my own thanks.
Actually, I found the fart exchange funny. Maybe I really AM a teenage boy.
my son is 17 and he and his friends regularly crack me up. however, as they near the age of 18 i see them maturing and i’m a little sad to see the potty humor go out the window. now, they give me strange looks when i try to do armpit farts. what’s with that????
Anthony from CharismaticKid says:
Hahah I would be laughing right with them on that farting thing. I love potty humor!
Greeeat… I have so much to look forward to. My son is 7 and you’re telling me this is just the beginning? Great.
Amy Collen says:
Awwww…as a mom of two boys (5 and 2) I find awkward kid endearing. Sweet boy. I just want to give him a hug. It is the mother bear in me :). I had a teenage boy get into a very indepth conversation with me about Fight Club. After reading it he was inspired to read all Chuck Palahniuk books. I used to be a librarian :). That author was a beacon to frustrated and non-conformist (or wanna be non-conformist) teenage and young adult boys everywhere. Whenever they would come in asking for a book to read I would mention that author and their eyes would sparkle. Too cool! Anyway, I am getting off the topic. I just feel for awkward boy is all.
Having four young sons this fills me with terror- hopefully there is a non-annoying variety I can raise?!
I’m scared. My boys are 2 and 4. Hold me.
No worries. My son is 18 and remained loveable and sweet throughout his teens It is the teen boys who will date my daughters I am worried about!
Moments like this, I’m glad I have a daughter…until I think about those years in the future with those teenage boys who will want to date her, then I’m just scared.
I have an almost 16 year old daughter….’nuf said!
I’m with you on the teenage boys. What gets me is when I’m at the grocery store and the teenage boy CHECKER and teenage boy BAGGER decide to comment on my People and/or US magazine purchase. What!? Leave my magazine purchases out of your conversation AS I’M STANDING RIGHT HERE! However, I will usually choose the teenage boy checker as they never check to see if my coupons are expired…a bonus.
I have a teenage girl equivalent to your story. A long, long time ago (cue harp music) I was watching American History X at the theatre. There were two IDIOT girls behind me. At the beginning of the movie when Ed Norton makes the kid bite the curb and then stomps his head – these two dipshits couldn’t get over the fact that he was IN HIS BOXER SHORTS AND OH.MY.GAWD HE IS SOOOOOO HAWT. And then he killed somone because of the color of their skin.
Honestly, you could change the title of your post to TEENAGERS are the most annoying people on the face of the planet. My theory is that it has nothing to do with gender and everything to do with hormones.
…and there is that distinctive teenage boy smell. I still can’t get it out of my 20-year old stepson’s room.
As soon as Annie hits 13, I PROMISE you, you will be calling your parents to apologize for ever being 13 when you were younger! It starts a little earlier, but there’s something about that magic number that turns our precious darlings into mouthy, cold shoulder-giving twerps. As well-mannered as you try to raise them, the rudeness that exudes is so thick you can cut it with a knife. And I say this with love for them (really, I do!)
My oldest daughter, who turned 17 in May, has started dating. From what I’ve witnessed thus far , I can assure you that YES, those are the most annoying teenage boys.
I probably would have laughed at the fart joke at the movies though, my daughters are kind of silly like that sometimes and I can’t help but giggle and wonder if I was ever like that too.
The boys in the movie theater are the reason why we RARELY go out to see movies anymore and do Netflix instead (yes, even with the whole price increase, blah, blah, blah). Some really obnoxious kids way back at “Napolean Dynamite” ruined it for us.
As far as the bag boy at the grocery store goes…is there any chance that maybe he has ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder) and isn’t as aware of social cues as the rest of us? We have a girl at our local grocery store with this disorder. She is also very chatty.