The day of Madeline’s funeral I was surrounded by a great number of people who cared about me. There were relatives, friends, co-workers, neighbors – you name it. Many traveled long distances to be with us, including two who came all the way from New York. In what was the absolute worst time of my life, it was incredible to receive such overwhelming support. Of everyone who came, however, there was one person whose presence was totally unexpected, and for that reason it was extra meaningful.
Alexis was the teacher’s assistant in my first screenwriting class at USC Film School, and I remember being pretty impressed with her right away. She was older (a senior), beautiful, smart, funny, and – most impressively – as big a film nerd as me. She was the kind of girl the guys in my freshman class hoped we’d meet at Film School, but, alas, there weren’t many like her.
Beyond all of that, though, Alexis was very kind and supportive. Toward the end of my first semester I finished my first screenplay, and she agreed to read it and then meet for lunch to discuss. Eighteen years later I can tell you that script was pretty terrible (as all first scripts tend to be), but Alexis gave me constructive feedback that both encouraged me about my writing and made me aware that I had a lot to learn. I was fairly awkward and green back then, and she really went above and beyond to help ease my transition into film school life.
Alexis graduated at the end of the year and went off into the world never to be seen again. Actually, that’s not true. One night, a couple years after I graduated, I was watching “Who Wants To Be a Millionaire” when, to my shock, Regis introduced Alexis as his next contestant. I’m not sure how she ended up on the show, but she did pretty darn well – winning $125,000!
Many more years passed, and by the time April of 2009 rolled around I was no longer that awkward, wide-eyed eighteen-year-old boy but a relatively worldly thirty-three-year-old husband and father. I may not have been a big shot filmmaker like I imagined I’d be fifteen years earlier, but I had a very good life, especially because of my amazing Maddie. And then the seventh came…
At the reception following the memorial I was thanking people for coming when all of a sudden Alexis tapped me on the shoulder. She’d seen the segment on the local CBS news station about Maddie’s passing, and then read about the memorial online. I don’t remember what she said exactly, probably the usual condolences, but it meant something to me that she came. Her attendance told me that – in addition to all of my friends, family, co-workers, and neighbors – there were people from my past, players in the narrative of my life who had come and gone, who still cared about me enough to be there for me.
Alexis probably deliberated over whether she should attend or not, but she made the right decision, just as a number of other people from my past made the right decision in reaching out to me after losing Maddie. Everyone is different, of course, but I would imagine most people are like me. So if you ever hear that someone you once cared about is going through something tough, don’t be afraid to reach out no matter how long it has been since you last saw them. In the worst of times we need as many people to hold us up as possible.
Lanie says:
I could not agree with you more. I do not think I could have made it through either of my sons’ funerals or the days right after without friends and family. Thank you for this post. take care.
Jenn says:
I’m glad you had Alexis there. I’m just so sorry she didn’t get a chance to meet Maddie though. I KNOW she would have loved her just like the rest of us. Thanks for sharing your special story Mike. I hope you and Alexis continued your friendship as it obviously means a lot!!
edenland says:
I love the sentiment in this post, Mike. X
andrea says:
I recognized the title of your post from the Beatles song, which was played at my dad’s memorial service. He passed suddenly, age 58. It’s very difficult for me to listen to that beautiful song now, so I tend to skip it. Glad you had Alexis there, and yes, it means so much when someone reaches out to you.
Sunshine says:
Hi Mike,
Thank you so much for sharing this story.
I, Had a wonderful father and to me….he was the best Dad in the entire world.
He was sick with cancer for far too long, he didn’t deserve that. Watching him slowly….pass away, was complete devastation.
When he did pass, honestly it never crossed my mind, at who be there for his celebration of life.
The part that I want to share is that, for anyone who is watching someone else grieve, or knows about the celebration of life….my advice is always, just BE there.
Talk about it, or offer a hug. The worst part for me, was that some of my close friends, who were at the celebration of life, but never personally spoke about it. That hurt.
So for anyone, my advice its to acknowledge it. It makes “us”.(in that stupid club who’ve lost somone) remember that its important for those of us grieving per se, but they knew enough, and cared enough to recognize your loss, and help, if they can, help you find that peace that’s missing from your heart.
Sunshine says:
It w be a good thing.
E says:
Beautiful post. I am struggling through an unexpected loss at the moment. I am having the opposite reaction, I don’t want anybody around, have only told my best friend and my roommate. I am hopping people stay away from the service. However, in some part of my mind I know this is just the grief and that I am blessed to have so many people who want to help me through this (I am directing them all to the best friend) so yeah I guess I second your own sentiments, it is better to reach out then give people their space. I am sure I will appreciate it all later.
Steph says:
Thank you for the reminder to reach out even when you are not sure what to do. I’m glad so many people were there for you during such an unthinkably hard time.
Glenda says:
Great post!!!
erica L says:
That you, and Heather both for teaching the rest of us how we can be better friends to those we love that are in mourning.
Tara says:
Thank you for sharing this Mike!
Mommy says:
What a sweet post!
TonyaM says:
I agree completely. When my dad died, I was shocked to look up and see one of his old Army buddies walking toward me. He and his wife and his grown children drove hours and hours to be with us. Prior to that we had virtually lost touch. Before that, I would try to make it to a service if it fit my schedule and mood, rationalizing if I didn’t go, I wouldn’t be missed because the person would be so upset they wouldn’t know who was there. Now I know differently. They DO know, and it means the world to them, and I now go pay my respects in person unless it’s absolutely impossible.
Alexis says:
Ah, Mike, I’m crying. I read this blog daily, except for Tuesdays (I catch up on Wednesdays), and this totally caught me off guard, but in a really nice way. You are completely right that I debated whether or not to come, but I couldn’t imagine, remembering you as I did, and liking you so much, not letting you know that your loss was shared with people from every stage of your life, and that there might be some comfort in that. You made a big impression on me when I was your TA, and I’ve been so happy to continue to read your writing, listen to your singing, and have a window into your life. Thank you so much for this post!
TamaraL says:
I appreciate this post, Mike. It is sometimes hard to know the right thing to do, or say. I will remember your words the next time I need help making that decision.
Amanda says:
Thank you so much for writing this. I have never lost a child and I can imagine nothing worse in the world.
I lost my brother a little over four years ago unexpectedly at the age of 31. He was my little brother, my best friend, a part of who I was and who I am today.
Everything you said touched my heart. I just thank you for having the strength to write it.
Auntie_M says:
I know what you mean–when my nephew died 3 years ago in November, there were people who came not just to support my brother & sister-in-law, but specifically for other people in my family too. Having my mom’s friend get up in tears & share how they had secretly talked & dreamed about their grandchildren together was so special. And for me to have friends there was precious to me.
Thank you for reminding us all that we too could be that someone special to someone…
This was a beautiful post.