I was a fat kid. There…I said it. The little boy version of the Newborn Identity dreaded having to take off his shirt for P.E., was shunned by girls at the Friday night dances, and fought tears as he smiled through endless fat jokes. My weight problem had a lot to do with the fact that my Mom was, and is, overweight.
My Mother has always been an overeater. To put it bluntly if food was booze she’d be an alcoholic. I remember back when I was about five she was a member of Weight Watchers, and they gave her a chart for her to graph her diet on. For some reason I desperately wanted to see that chart. I NEEDED to know what Mom weighed and how she was doing on her diet. Eventually one day she went into a store and left me in the car with her weight loss chart. I hurriedly opened it and saw that the graph, instead of having a red line going down (showing weight loss), had a red line going up. I was shocked as I saw the red line went up past the marker for 180, then 190, and 200. Even though I was just five I was shocked. I knew this wasn’t how diets were supposed to go. I put the card back and stared at my Transformers toy. Shortly thereafter my Mom quit Weight Watchers.
In hindsight it is pretty clear why I got fat. Every day after school my Mom would take us to McDonalds, so for a few years I would have in – addition to breakfast, lunch, and dinner – a Quarter Pounder and fries meal around 3:15 every day. This, as you can imagine, was not good for the waist line. In all fairness to my Mom my Dad used to work about an hour away from home, and wouldn’t walk through our front door until well after eight. As a result my Mom had two very hungry and annoyed kids by 8:30 unless we had an after school snack. (Of course she could have given us a snack healthier than McDonalds…)
Anyway, the reason I bring all of this up is because I really want Maddie to be healthy and immune to being mocked by kids at school because of her jean size. I realize a lot of a people’s figure has to do with their genetics, but the eating habits they are raised with play a big a role as well.
Let me give you an example…
In junior high I had a fit friend who invited me over to play one day. Around four o’clock I said, “Dude…I am starving! Got any snacks?!” My friend nodded and lead me to the kitchen where he tossed me a tomato. I smiled and said, “Awesome. Now where is the bun, cheese, and burger?” My friend just stared at me. As it turned out in his family a tomato WAS a snack. Back then I was horrified to see my friend ravenously eat the tomato like it was a Carls’ Jr. five dollar burger (Mmmm…Carls’ Jr. Five Dollar Burgers) but now I am impressed. I don’t know if I want Maddie to be so healthy that she noshes on raw tomatoes, but I certainly don’t want her eating Mickey D’s every day after school.
Damn. This post isn’t funny at all. Oh well. And it’s about to get less funny…a couple years ago Heather and I were sitting at home when my Dad called and told us that my Mom had suffered a serious stroke as a result of her weight issues. I travelled up to see her and it was heartbreaking. She couldn’t even put two words together. She’d try to speak, then slap her head in frustration as tears welled in her eyes. I was frightened. Me, I am sort of introspective (believe it or not), and could stand never talking again. My Mom? Not so much. Her whole life is talking (and saying offensive things).
For the next year my Mom, for the first time in her life, was obsessive about eating healthy. She lost seventy pounds and, with the help of a physical/speech therapist, regained most of her ability to speak. It was like a miracle, but, unfortunately, my Mom, once she got better, started to eat poorly again. The stroke was a thing of the past, she would say at times to my horror. She’s since gained weight, and I fear she may have another stroke. My Dad’s brother had a devastating stroke seven years ago. He no longer can speak and spends his days in a wheel chair. Doctors warn my Mom that if she has another stroke she may end up like my uncle, but thus far she hasn’t seen the light. I hope she will.
Anyway, right now I am fifteen pounds overweight (I know this because the little work-out Nazi avatar on the Wii Fitness machine told me so), and I plan to lose all fifteen. I want to be an example for Maddie, and to show her the right way to eat. It’s not an issue as of now, especially since she is the skinniest baby around, but I hope that in the future she will look back on her childhood as a time when she learned good eating habits instead of bad ones.
jenn says:
My mom would never buy any junk food when I was growing up. I got the same peanut butter and jelly sandwich on rye bread (with horrible seeds nonetheless). I would go to my friend Eric’s house after school sometimes JUST because I knew his mom kept their pantry stocked with Ding Dongs and other delicious treats. I think there should be a healthy balance and I try to keep that in mind with every trip to the grocery store. Oatmeal Cream Pies, however, always seem to find their way into my cart.
jenns last blog post..To Blog or Not to Blog
S. says:
Hi Mike, I love your blog (found it through Heather’s).
I definitely don’t think you can raise a child to be “too” healthy. Sure, kids should be allowed to eat sugar and junk food (because if you don’t eat it when you’re 5, then when?), but a love for raw tomatoes never hurts. My mother used to cook everyday for us and I remember snacking on raw tomatoes with salt. If not that, my mom would hand us a peeled cucumber or apple for us to gnaw on. She never forbid candy or sugar, which might have a counterproductive effect, but she would make sure we ate them in moderation and taught us to like the healthier stuff. So far, no weight problems in the family. A lot of the trick is in starting early. If you teach Maddie to eat good things early on and expose her to a variety of fruits and veggies, she’ll most likely develop a taste for them.
ali says:
growing up i had four working parents who never came home and was raised by nannies and concentration camp survivor grandparents who all let us eat whatever the hell we wanted….the picked-out marshmallows from the lucky charms box for breakfast? sure! Reese’s cups for lunch? SURE. boxed macaroni and cheese for dinner every night? awesome.
moving out of my house was the best thing i did for myself. it’s all about balance. it’s okay to eat crap (and trust me, i eat a shitload of it) and let your kids eat some crap…but it’s important to teach GOOD habits too.
BUT i will never, ever, let my kids pick the marshmallows out of the box.
alis last blog post..life with Emily…*sigh*
Christy says:
I struggle with this issue with my kids too. They’re 8 & 11 and not overweight at all, but my husband & I have many relatives that are (and truth be told, we could stand to lose a few pounds ourselves.)
I think it’s harder as they get older b/c they see their friends eating junk, bringing it to school, etc. We try to explain the consequences of eating like that, but it’s hard for them to focus on the long term. I guess all we can do is try to lead by example. I think being moderate is the best thing–extremist eating habits (good or bad) aren’t healthy.
Christys last blog post..The Real Me?
Ms. Moon says:
This is an issue everyone struggles with. I have fought weight issues my entire life and desperately wanted my kids to have a healthier relationship with food. I did everything in my power to make that happen. And it was not always successful.
I have finally found a way to eat for myself that works and I think in the long run it is always ultimately the responsibility of each and every person to make their own choices. Children are only under our control for so long and then they must figure it out for themselves.
With food, as with everything concerning out children, we do the best we can and then just hope for the best for them.
Ms. Moons last blog post..Educating Our Young
Black Hockey Jesus says:
This whole issue is such a thorn in my side, because Jenna is such a great eater and I’m insane. On days she works, it’s so hard to get the kids fed in a healthy manner and read and write blogs all day. WTF?
I could stand to lose 15 too. We should make it a competition where we mock each other and tease the hell out of each into better fitness.
Let’s start tomorrow.
Black Hockey Jesuss last blog post..Sweet Face
Rachel says:
Your last post prevented me from being able to enjoy the large piece of pie I was eating. Thanks a lot! Just kidding, sort of. Seriously, though I hear what you’re saying. My mom never cooked and I grew up on fast food, cereal and tv dinners. I feel like I have to make a conscious effort to even remember to feed my poor kid, let alone keep healthy food in the house. I don’t even know how to shop for healthy food, luckily my husband does.
Rachels last blog post..Don’t Mess With Texas
cindy w says:
I was an overweight kid too. And adult. Not pudgy, we’re talking morbid obesity. The part that sucked was that I was always really good on diets (started them when I was 9 years old, how sick is that?), but I never lost weight, no matter how rigorous the diet or if I exercised 4 hours every day. When I was in my mid-20’s, I had gastric bypass surgery and lost 100 pounds. It’s the single greatest thing I’ve ever done for myself.
Of course, now that I have a daughter I’m constantly worried that she’s going to inherit the “fat gene” from me and go through all the teasing and tormenting that I did. And man, teaching a 1 year-old healthy eating habits seems impossible when all she ever wants are Goldfish crackers or oatmeal cookies. But we’re working on it.
Good luck with the fifteen. I’m still working on 10 pounds myself… which I’m calling baby weight, even though that was a year & a half ago.
Kate says:
Found your site from a post about you & Heather on Heavyont he Caffiene. Love your blog! You’ve got some funny stories. Christy C. was right. I’ll have to take a look at Heather’s blog next. I’ll be back!
mandy says:
oh if only i had every cent back that i’ve ever spent at mcdonald’s, burger king, taco bell and various pizza places. i’d be living in L to the ux.
Leslie says:
My dad had a major stroke when he was only 48 years old. I was going into the 5th grade. He was a smoker, a work-a-holic and he ate like shit. Unlike your mom, he never fully recovered and is still completely paralyzed on one side. Shortly after his stroke he tried, unsuccessfully, to take up smoking again. WTF??
As you already know about me, I was also a chubster growing up and it sucked! I knew that I never wanted my own kids to suffer through the kind of teasing I did so I have made it a point to teach them healthy eating habits. My youngest absolutely loves fruit and my three-year-old son will happily munch sugar snap peas for a snack and will choose watermelon over ice cream. But it is getting harder to stick to my guns as he gets older. The other day he asked for “fruit snacks” and said all the other kids got to bring them in their lunches. I told him he could have them once in a while but he couldn’t have them in his lunch. The thought of that sugary goop sticking to his teeth all day just doesn’t sit well with me. He eats them at home so we can brush his teeth right afterwards. At least you’re thinking about laying the groundwork now with healthy eating habits. As you know it’s much harder to do once bad habits are already in place. Oh and if you and Black Hockey Jesus start up a weight loss competition, count me in! Maybe that’s exactly what we all need to shake things up a bit!
Leslies last blog post..This I do not like
Dana says:
I always have to remind myself not to let picky eaters rule me! My 2-yr-old will eat cucumbers and sugar snap peas, and he idolizes fruit over sugary goop anyday. But he can’t live off of that alone. Sometimes we struggle to get him to eat his regular meals, sometimes he’s fine. Ah, 2-yr-olds…
Growing up, I guess I had it really good. Although my mother reached a whopping 300 lbs during my adolescence, she made us healthy, home-cooked meals. I only felt deprived when my anorexic-looking high school peer pulled out a chocolate bar or Gushers every day for lunch.
Danas last blog post..153 Holes In My Heart
standing still says:
Here is my advice. Babies eat until they are full, as long as they have a neuro system that registers correctly. Premies do tend to be lean kids. You probably won’t have a problem there, unless you plug one into her. My dearest friend gave me this advice after raising 3 boys: “Clothes and food and hair are not important issues. Character is.” Words I try to live by.
standing stills last blog post..friday felicity
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