Maddie & Mike

Madeline

Madeline
My little Madeline
You’re the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen

Madeline
My little Madeline
You’ve got the cutest little face I’ve ever seen

And just like I need my heart
I can’t be apart
from Madeline

Just like Milhouse needs Bart
I can’t be apart
from Madeline, my little Madeline

Madeline
My little Madeline
You’re the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen

Madeline
My little Madeline
You’ve got the greatest little laugh I’ve ever heard

And just like I need my heart
I can’t be apart
from Madeline

Just like a horse needs its cart
I can’t be apart
from Madeline, my little Madeline

But her flame burns so low
And the wind blows so cold
If you’re with her tonight
Please keep her flame a-glowing

Do it for Madeline
Sweet baby Madeline

Madeline
The Sweetlest little thing I’ve ever seen

For some reason when Heather told me we were expecting I thought, as opposed to many men, “Please let it be a daughter.” And, to my delight, she was. When Madeline was born she came out with a shock of thick black hair just like mine as if to say “I am your little girl, daddy!” She then, of course, morphed into her mother’s clone. I do, however, appreciate Maddie throwing me a bone that first day.

As everyone knows Maddie’s first days of life were very hard, but I spent every one at her side supporting her, loving her, and hoping that she would pull through. One day on the way to the hospital I started to make up a lullaby for Maddie – the lyrics to which you may have seen in the insert of the program – and when I got to the hospital I sang it to her. Madeline looked up at me with those big blue eyes of hers and seemed at ease, so I continued to sing the lullaby to her in the days to come.

One night, when the doctors warned me Maddie might not make it, I added a bridge at the end of the song about her flame burning low and how I hoped whoever watched her that night would keep her flame alive. The nurses in the NICU always did, and before too long Maddie came home with her Mommy and me.

Once Maddie was at home I forgot that last bit and just sang the happy parts of the song to her. Just as in the hospital, Maddie responded to it. In time, as she grew and developed, she would clap and giggle when her Daddy sang her this song.

The first ten months after Maddie came home I was a stay at home dad, and Maddie and I quickly became the best of friends. I think our dog, Rigby, was initially jealous of how much I doted on Maddie, but in time even she fell in love with Maddie.

It was an honor to get to spend all day with Maddie. We would do lots of cuddling, and she would sleep in what we called the daddy nook….my lap when I crossed my legs. She loved sleeping there and fit perfectly, and even when she got bigger and it hurt my knee to put her there, I did anyway.

There was a lot of hard work taking care of Maddie – she needed three breathing treatments a day for example – but the smile never left her face even with having to do that. Being the spunky little girl that she was, she eventually turned the breathing treatment machine’s tube into a flute. She turned the mechanism of her adversity into a favorite toy. That was my amazing Maddie.

Eventually I went back to work and Heather stayed at home with Maddie, something I am so glad she got to experience too. Being away from my best little friend all day was hard, but we became closer than ever in these last few months. When I would come home at night she would sit up and smile from ear to ear, look to Heather like “Hey! Daddy’s home!” then crawl toward me as fast as possible. Heather would shake her head and say, “Wow. She is such a little daddy’s girl.”

She was blooming so much of late…a toddler now, not a baby…and we had so much fun together. One of our favorite things to do was to sit on the floor and play her little red piano. She would smile at me as she pressed the keys, and I would kiss her cheek, run my hand through her curly hair, and press some keys myself.

Recently we tried to take Maddie to get a photo with the Easter Bunny. She would not have it. As I carried her toward this giant bunny….which come to think of it is pretty freaky…she clung to me for protection and screamed so loud that everyone in the whole mall looked over. I took Maddie over to her Mom, then decided to walk over and shake the Easter Bunny’s hand thinking that if Maddie saw her Dad was friends with the Easter Bunny, maybe she could be too. When I got halfway there, however, Madeline screamed just as loud as before. She was afraid the Easter Bunny would hurt her Daddy. She loved me and didn’t want anything to happen to me.

Our last weekend together was amazing. We went to a birthday party where we listened to musicians play children’s songs and banged on a drum together, we went to the park and looked at the ducks, and on Sunday we snuggled on the couch and Maddie danced to Paul McCartney videos on YouTube. Later she fell asleep on my shoulder for over an hour and I kissed her soft cheek over and over.

The next day Heather called to say that Maddie was being taken to the hospital in an ambulance so I left work to be at her side. Maddie was soon admitted to the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit. That night I sat at her side as Heather and Linda tried to eat some food in the waiting room, and I watched my little girl sleep. From time to time she would awaken with a little whimper, so I leaned over her bed, gently stroked her head, and sang her the lullaby I wrote for her when she was in the NICU. “Madeline, my little Madeline,” I sang. “You’re the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen.” As I sang Maddie calmed and no longer woke with a whimper. I sang for her a while longer until Heather returned and I went home to get some sleep before I had to go to work the next day. As I rose to leave I kissed Maddie and told her I Ioved her.

While there are many, many things I will miss never getting to do with my sweet baby girl, it seems like it would be unfair to the wonderful things we did do together to focus on them. So I won’t. Instead I will think about all the things this amazing little girl gave me.

I am such a better man for having known her.

Madeline taught me how to be responsible, to be stronger than I ever imagined, to love more than I thought my heart was able to, and to learn what is truly important in life. If it wasn’t for all the things Maddie taught me I would never be able to get through this.

So to Madeline….to my Chicken Muffin Love Bear… to my Mooseroni…my chippy, chippy, chippy, chippy monkey, to my little girl. I thank you, and I love you. As Heather has told me, I will always be your Daddy, and I will always, always, always love you.