Seeing my nephews last week got me thinking about the days before Madeline, and how, back then, I really didn’t see the difference between being the parent of a baby or the owner of a puppy.
In my then child-less mind I totally thought Rigby was the equal of my nephew Spencer in every way. This, as you can imagine, greatly upset people.
You could, however, understand my line of thinking in a twisted way. Rigby and Spencer were born on the exact same day, December 4th, and both had bitches for mothers. (Just kidding, Monica! Zinger!) Since they were born on the same day, I was apt to compare Rigby to Spencer. As a result the following scenes happened way too many times:
SISTER: “Guess what everyone? Spencer started crawling!”
ME: “Crawling? Phooey. Rigby has been able to walk since THE DAY SHE WAS BORN!!! She was probably crawling in the womb!”
SISTER: “Guess what everyone! Some lady at the mall told me Spencer was the cutest baby she’s ever seen.”
ME: “Just one lady? When I took Rigby on a walk today I had eight people go apeshit over Rigby. EIGHT!”
SISTER: “Isn’t Spencer’s outfit adorable!”
ME: “Adorable? No. Adorable is Rigby in a T-shirt that reads: “SCREW LASSIE! I’M THE WORLD’S COOLEST PUP!!! ”
SISTER: “Spencer started holding things today! I handed him a block and he held it! Isn’t that amazing?”
ME: “Not really. Now if you threw that block and Spencer brought it back to you we could talk. ‘Cause Rigby? She does that. All the time!”
SISTER: “Spencer cries SOOOO loud. On my God he wakes me up in the middle of the night out of a dead sleep with his crying!”
ME: “Yeah, I’ve heard him and he’s not that loud. Now when Rigby barks people in China wake up!!!”
Finally, after enough of this kind of talk my sister finally screamed, “CAN YOU PLEASE STOP COMPARING MY BABY TO YOUR FREAKING DOG?!?!?!?
At the time I was offended. Now that I have a child of my own, however, I realize comparing the developmental skills of a dog to a baby isn’t really cool.
But you know what?
Dog or not I’m still in awe of my amazing little pup.