After hanging up the phone with the NICU I quickly showered, dressed, and hurried down to my car. I wanted to be strong that day for Maddie and Heather, but as I drove toward the hospital I found that very hard to do.
Typical of Los Angeles the road leading to the hospital was clogged with traffic, and as I sat in a sea of motionless cars I started to cry uncontrollably. This was very awkward, and from the corner of my eyes I could see the people in the cars to my left and right gawking at me.
I switched on my CD player in hopes of hearing a frivolous song that might help me pull things together, but what came on was anything but a fun diversion. It was “The Way,” a gentle song by Neil Young that features a children’s choir. Soon my car was filled with the angelic voices of children singing:
“The way, we know the way. We’ve seen the way
We’ll show the way
To get you back home
To the peace where you belong…”
As I listened to the children’s choir sing this refrain I imagined that they were the voices of all the babies who had ever died in the NICU, and that they were singing to Maddie that they could show her the way to peace – away from all the pain that she was in. This, as you can imagine, made me cry even more.
But then it occurred to me that maybe what I was hearing wasn’t the voice of the children who had died, but the children who had survived, and that they were singing to Maddie that they knew the way to health – the way for her to get back home with Heather and me. I clung to this second interpretation as traffic finally started to move.
When I walked into the NICU Maddie’s isolette was once again surrounded by doctors and nurses. Remembering Dr. Walker’s proximity test, I knew this wasn’t good. I looked to her blue number…it read only 44. The amount of oxygen in Maddie’s body was dangerously low. A nurse soon told me to go to the waiting room and that they would come give me an update when they had one.
In the waiting room I opened a book about babies that Heather had given me and saw that it had a chapter entitled: “Coping with Loss.” With a heavy heart I turned to that chapter and began to read.
After about fifteen minutes I got up and walked down to the NICU because I couldn’t wait for an update any longer. Once there I saw that even more doctors and nurses surrounded Maddie’s isolette, and that her blue number was now at an inconceivably low 11. I knew then that my daughter was going to die.
I turned and left to go call Heather. On my way to do so I ran into the cardiologist I hadn’t seen since the first night.
“I have good news,” he said. “That serious heart problem I thought your daughter had? It turns out she doesn’t have it. We got a better x-ray yesterday and saw that her heart is just fine.”
I mumbled a “thank you,” and shuffled away. I couldn’t believe there was amazing news about Maddie’s heart right when it appeared she was about to die.
Heather, after hearing about Maddie’s condition, told me that she was going to check out of the hospital against doctor’s orders once again and come to the NICU. I then went upstairs to wait.
My parents soon arrived and found me sitting in the chairs by the elevator practically comatose. I started to babble about arranging a funeral for Maddie, but they told me not to discuss that yet…to be hopeful. I nodded and stared into the distance. I just wanted Heather to arrive so badly.
Eventually the elevator doors opened and Heather walked out. Despite having been on bed rest for months, and mere hours after having major surgery, she had walked the long way from the parking lot to the NICU because she wasn’t about to waste time waiting for a wheelchair. I jumped up and took her hand.
Together we walked into the NICU. As we got closer to Maddie’s isolette I saw it was no longer surrounded by doctors and nurses. I initially feared the worst until I saw Maddie still laid in the isolette. I then looked to her blue number – it was in the nineties. I couldn’t believe it.
Heather and I hurried over and looked in at our baby. Her tiny chest rose and fell. She was very much alive.
The doctors, it turned out, had once again managed to release the air constricting Maddie’s lungs at the last moment, and from then on Maddie was on the road to recovery. There would be setbacks along the way, but nothing like the first few days. Finally, sixty-eight days after she arrived at UCLA, Maddie was on the way home.
We give thanks every day for the amazing work of the NICU’s doctors and nurses, and for having an incredibly strong daughter who just wouldn’t give up.
Black Hockey Jesus says:
That imagination that kicked in with Neil is hardcore. To think blandly that those voices were reproductions of a recording playing through an FM transmission is only ONE way to conceive and people think that’s RIGHT or something goofy like that. But it WAS those kids who survived. It really was. Otherwise what’s a world for? Great story, Mike.
Black Hockey Jesuss last blog post..Shiva Nataraja
Ms. Moon says:
Yeah. I have to agree with BHJ on that one.
And I have to point out, once again, that you have just about the prettiest daughter in the world.
Ms. Moons last blog post..
Christy says:
I third that–awesome! Just awesome. All I can think to say is, YAY!
Christys last blog post..Did You Hear? I’m Kind Of A Big Deal Now
ali says:
a stubborn little fighter you’ve got there! she’s amazing!
alis last blog post..that’s what she said, i don’t like boats, and i have problems
Danes says:
Wow, Mike. I’ve been waiting for the ‘final’ installment before sending you a comment. That was touching and heartwrenching, what a gift to have those moments shared so beautifully! The Spohrs rock.
Rock and Roll Mama says:
That is an amazing, beautifully told story, She is a gorgeous little one, and you and your wife both sound like awesome warrior parents. Thanks for sharing this.
Maria says:
Thank you for sharing this.
Marias last blog post..Failsauce
Kellee says:
I hope when you are able to share this story with her as she gets older that she realizes the strength inside her and is able to draw from it every day. Thank you for sharing it with us. I was so happy reading this part, even though I already knew how it turned out, I couldn’t help but cry.
dana says:
That saga was tough to get through all at once but I didn’t pass out from holding my breath. Oh, she’s just so perfect! I know she still has limitations, but you know what I mean. By the way, how much did she weigh on discharge?
jenn says:
I’ve never gotten goosebumps or nearly come to tears from reading a series of posts written by someone I’ve never met. Heartwrenching and elating. Thank you for sharing Madeline’s story with us.
jenns last blog post..To Blog or Not to Blog
Daddy Dan says:
What a miracle baby Maddie is. Thanks for sharing so openly this amazing story. I really think your wife coming to be at Maddie’s side at the NICU helped her pull through.
Bonnie says:
What an amazing story and a beautiful baby. Kudos to you both for being so strong-Maddie obviously inherited that strength from you and Heather.
Kelly says:
Incredible! Amazing! I can’t even fathom what this had to be like…Many blessings to you and your miracle family. Thank you so much for sharing this story!
Kellys last blog post..I had hoped to post earlier….
iMommy says:
Amazing story. Absolutely amazing, and you tell it with honesty, emotion and true love for your daughter.
I am so relieved that she is well; so glad that the doctors at UCLA kept working for her night and day.
A true miracle.
standing still says:
Oh man. You have brought back so many, many memories for me. Our journey with NICU was NOTHING like yours, NOTHING. I almost feel ashamed to put our journey into the same category as yours. But, dear ones, anyone who has had to let go of their baby into the hands of people who you have never met, watch your baby lie inside a box, spend time away from your baby after they have been born and guage the level of life or death from a pulse oxymeter? … well, all I can say is, “Welcome. We are glad to have you join our club. It’s not always fun, but alway an amazing source of awe.” You have an incredible way of putting Maddie’s birth story into words, and trust me, when Maddie is 13 (as is my son who was 3 lbs, 5 oz), and 18 and 21 and 35 , you will be so thankful that you wrote all those details. Blessings and peace to both of you. And, congratulations. She. Is. Beautiful.
btw, came here by way of BHJ. Thanks to him for introducing me to your amazing journey.
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erin says:
I haven’t cried like that in a very long time. First time visitor to your site: wonderful writing, beautiful baby, courageous parents.
Emily says:
Your posts about your daughters birth and beginning of life struggle really moved me. I love the way you wrote it, I love the honesty. Of course I loved the outcome.
What a beautiful little girl. Amazing little girl!
Thank you so much for putting it out there.
Emilys last blog post..Ouch!! But she is fine.
Emily says:
Your posts about your daughters birth and beginning of life struggle really moved me. I love the way you wrote it, I love the honesty. Of course I loved the outcome.
What a beautiful little girl. Amazing little girl!
Thank you so much for putting it out there.
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