One of things that drives Heather and me nuts is seeing people in Los Angeles walk their dogs without a leash. While this may be fine to do in a rural or suburban area, it is pure madness in a big city with cars constantly zipping by. Rigby, as a result, never goes outside without looking like this:
Sorry, Rigby. I know this cramps your style with the hip L.A. dogs, but it’s for your own safety. The thing is, while Heather and I agree dogs should be on leashes, there is a type of leash we most definitely don’t see eye-to-eye on… a kid leash!
Between Heather and myself, I am the more protective parent of the two. This is ironic because I grew up with a very overprotective mom, and I promised myself I wouldn’t be like that when I became a parent. I’d say, “I’m going to let my kids go to sleep-a-way camp, walk to the mall, get in the car with strangers…”
But then I grew up and had kids, and suddenly I found myself freaked out by what this messed up world could do.
Heather, on the other hand, grew up in a relaxed suburban town where all the kids played together in the street, and their parents left their front doors unlocked most of the day.
So it was these disparate upbringings that colored our opinion of the kid leash when we stumbled upon it at Babies R Us. Heather immediately decried it as “redonkulous,” and said she’d feel like she was treating Annie like our pet if she used it.
I, however, thought about the annoying habit kids have of trailing away the second you take your eye off them, and thought the kid leash wasn’t such a bad idea. I tried to convince Heather we should buy one – you know, just to have in case we ever needed it – but she wouldn’t have it.
“What about at a crowded mall?” I asked. “You might be looking at shoes and forget about Annie for a second and then look back and… she’s gone. You want that?”
“Shoes, Mike? Really? You really think I’d LOSE MY CHILD because of shoes?!”
“Possibly. If they were on sale.”
“I’ll be sure never to take Annie to Payless then.”
“You act like there’s not a gigantic pile of shoes in your closet. Seriously. You can’t be trusted around those things.”
“Look, Mike, if you want to be that guy at the mall, go right ahead. Just don’t expect me to go with you.”
Our conversation only got more heated from there, and ended with me saying that “I bet the Internet would side with me on this.” Since, upon reflection, I realized that’s probably far from the truth, I decided against asking you to weigh in on this (unless, of course, you agree with me..ha). Instead, I want to hear about how parents out there manage to keep from butting heads with their partner over how to keep their kids safe. My hope is that I will be able to keep Annie safe… and my marriage together!
Krystal says:
I’m guilty of the kid leash. I bought one thinking just like you Mike. I live in a big city and didn’t want anyone to walk off with my kid. But my toddler had another idea, and walking around with a Monkey on his back was not one of them. As soon as I’d get the thing snapped on, he would sit on the ground and not move till we took it off of him. I just became a very good hand holder!
Unlike a dog, a kid doesn’t listen on a leash, you say go left they go backwards, or right, maybe they just stand there? Annoying the childless people out in the world by blocking their way with a kids leash, in the mall! Actually that parts kind of fun!
Susan says:
I’m one of those childless people who got tripped up in a leash at the mall and it was hysterical. A lady was browsing through a rack of clothes, with the handle of her son’s leash tied around her wrist. She didn’t realize that he was across the aisle, hiding in a rack of clothes, pulling the leash taut and creating a “finish line” of sorts for the shoppers. I just went around him – he was having great fun!
Tauni says:
I actually LOVED the “leash” for my youngest. We called it her monkey backpack (It was a monkey and had a little pouch she could put things in). She wore it every where and she held the tail (which was the leash part) in her own hand! The thing is she listened GREAT. I always told her she was walking her monkey and the monkey had to stay RIGHT WITH ME so if the monkey and her got side tracked and didn’t stay with me, then I would have to hold the monkeys tail. I rarely held the tail and she was always very happy
Kristen says:
I’m guilty of the leash for kid #2? We used it from 18 months until almost 3 years old. He was a runner, he bolted any chance he got, and damn if that kid didn’t outrun me nearly every time. Now at 5, he chases the dog, and can’t catch him – karma is what I say! Anyway, the “puppy backpack”, as we called it, saved his life, and my sanity. Oh, I’d get “the look” from parents, but when it came down to it, I couldn’t care less. He was safe, and that’s all that mattered to me. Safety first!
Lindy says:
As an American Expat living in England I will admit to having been in Heather’s camp. When I first arrived and saw all the kids on “leads” as they call it here I looked down my non-kid having nose. The thing is it depends on the situation. Here they walk a lot. So a leash is very very practical. We got a backpack style and my daughter loved it. We loaded her little “ackpack” with her bits and she thought it was such a treat! I loved that I could unclip the leash and then it was just a backpack and I could let her run around when it was safe to do so. People (myself included) should not be so judgmental- whatever works for you!
Elizabeth says:
I’m with Heather. One of our jobs as parent is to help turn these strange self absorbed monsters into civilized PEOPLE. You just don’t put people on leashes because, well…they aren’t animals. Just like how there were 2 years where we couldnt go out to eat and countless movies I’ve had to wait for DVD – if that shoe sale is so great you’re not going to be able to watch your child maybe you should get a sitter or skip the sale. The world is filled with scary and dangerous things, but that fear can’t let us lose sight of our children as small people.
statia says:
Yes, but there are some children who don’t and won’t ever understand the dangers that are around them (Autistic kids, etc).
There’s a time and a place, I think. I was one of those who swore they would never use one, but you know what, parenting is one of those big “I told you so” moments. You do so many things you said you wouldn’t. We got a leash for our daughter when we went to Disney World. It’s a huge place, and it’s easy for a kid to lose sight of their parents, and vice versa. Especially when you’re juggling more than one. She actually loved wearing her little backpack. She feels more independent, and doesn’t have to stay cooped up in a stroller, and our minds are settled knowing that we have less of a chance of losing her. Anyone who has ever had a two year old and has tried to reason with them knows that they’re not quite civilized…yet. Do we use it all the time? No, but we use it.
Erin @ One Particular Kitchen says:
This is one of those things I SWORE I’d never do. And then I had a kid. Ha! We do have the famed monkey backpack leash and at this point it gets used once a year when we go to Disney. There’s so much to see and look at there and I know how easy it would be for me to look at a map for 30 seconds while he sees Buzz Lightyear out of the corner of his eye — mayhem could ensue pretty quickly. So we rock the leash.
Jenny says:
We never used the kid leash. Fortunately, my husband and I agreed 110% on this concept. Holding my son’s hand as we walk still counts as one of my favorite feelings in the world.
Jennifer says:
I love to hold the hand of my 2.5 year old daughter too. But that doesn’t always solve the problem.
Recently, I had to let go of her hand as I put her 6 month old sister in the carseat. My car was parallel parked on the side of a fairly busy street. We had just finished strolling over a walkway bridge and she had done great. We generally hold her hand, but when we don’t, we use a “Red light/Green light” system and she listens very well.
But I let go of her hand and she started to wander, and I called her back and she ignored me and started giggling. When I raised my voice to get her attention and get her to stop, she got surprised and ran towards the road. As she got to the road, she tripped and ended up stuck halfway under another car that was parked on the street, and I was able to catch up with her. But I was terrified because there were cars coming that wouldn’t have been able to see her until she was out in the street.
We have a leash backpack that we haven’t used much, but she doesn’t mind it when we do. Simply holding your child’s hand and telling them to stay close doesn’t work for every child, and I’d rather be safe than sorry. I keep my dogs on a leash for safety, and that’s also why I occasionally do the same for my children.
Kelly says:
We have triplets who are two months old, and we both agree that there are monkey backpack leashes in their future. I would much rather withstand the disapproval of strangers than risk one of our children wandering into danger. All it takes is a second. Maybe if I had just one, I might feel differently, but we are now a three-ringed circus run by a couple of clowns. We’re gonna need all the help we can get, and unless we can recruit some of these anti-leash people to come with us wherever we go and hold a hand, monkey leashes it is.
Kris says:
I just wrote something similar. No one is addressing multiple kids here. I have three, not all the same age, but we’ve used one very occasionally with my youngest, who is a runner and not a stroller guy.
Congrats on your triplets!
Gail says:
My youngest is very much like Annie, very strong willed. When she got on idea in her head to do something, there was no changing her mind. But we never put her on a leash. We looked at them but holding her hand was what we did and she eventually learned (after many a cry) she had to hold our hands. And we’ve been to Disney (the most crowded place on earth) a dozen times, we haven’t lost her yet. Having a strong willed child means you just have to be stronger (not physically).
edenland says:
I was anti-leash …. before Rocco. He used to run in front of CARS. Repeatedly. So I bought him a monkey backpack leash.
Thing was, he would NOT let me hold the end. Only he was allowed to do that. So he’d walk sedately alongside me, holding his own leash. Keeping himself under control.
Neeroc says:
That is so seriously cute!
Jackie says:
LOL that’s the cutest thing ever. Well the leash worked one way or another ;]
Charlane says:
We used the monkey backpack leash. No apologies for using it, we needed it and it worked.
heather says:
I would never, ever, ever use them….
Right up until the day I took them on a lake cruise lasting 6 hours. Bought them in the gift shop, used them the whole day.
Don’t use them often, but there are moments when they are awesome
Kris says:
I wonder what Heather would say if she had three kids…let’s say ages 6, 3.5 and 1.5 and she’s trying to look for shoes…or look at something that catches her eye for a split second while at a crowded amusement park or some other tourist attraction. Not all kids will sit in strollers nicely and when you’re outnumbered, it’s nice to have a little extra help, especially when the younger two are daydreamers or ‘runners’.
With that said, we have used something similar to a kid leash about 2-3 times at Six Flags. It’s easy to say you’re never going to do something when you haven’t gotten to the stage where you really need it.
Emily says:
my fiance has some of the worst ADHD I have ever encountered. Seriously, he is distracted by EVERYTHING at age 26. While I don’t love the idea of kid leashes, I recognize how necessary they could be, especially in crowded places like disneyland or a big mall. Also, knowing that our future kids will have 50% or so of C’s DNA makes me all the more pro leash. Has anyone found a way to convince husbands to wear leashes? Seriously, sometimes necessary.
Chris says:
I hear you, my husband will wander off and I lose site of him, I’ll catch up to him and say “what happended, where’d you go”, he goes, what, “I’m not lost”, I tell him that’s not the point, if we get separated how are we going to find each other. He never has his cell phone on!!!!! Men!!!!!
Sarah says:
I’m often struck by the need for an adult leash when I’m out shopping with my boyfriend and my younger sister. Seriously, the two of them together turn into hyper, malcoordinated, curious Labrador puppies.
Heather says:
best comment ever
Sarah says:
Why thank you!
Sara says:
We have a runner, so when she was younger, we’d use it at places we knew would be super crowded, like the Renaissance Festival (cute little fairy on a leash!) or the mall, or amusement park, state fair, whatever. We forgot it once at Ren Fest, and she decided to play hide and seek without telling us. Scariest 30 minutes of our lives! Of course, she was fine, and now she doesn’t need it anymore (she’s 4), but it was a life saver when she was younger.
Neeroc says:
Hubby and I have the same sort of difference in comfort levels when it comes to Vs safety. He’s far more protective than I, and I think the thing that has helped most is just making sure to always communicate (me as the more ‘lax’ parent that is). At first glance some of the stuff I do (let her do?) might appear wacky or dangerous, but once I explain the safeties/controls I’ve put in place he feels better about it.
For example I let her wait on our front step while I finish getting ready. When we started doing this it was the last 10 seconds before my shoes were on and the house was locked. I had my eye on her the entire time and she knew she could only be on the front steps. Now she stays on the front steps and it may be for the last minute where I gulp my coffee, find my keys and lock up. Yes it’s a bit longer, yes she feels she’s been given some freedom, but here’s the secret – she’s still always in my sight. Hubby won’t let her out if she asks him, but he knows if I do it I’m still watching her.
Oh! And just wait until she gets a bike! Heart-attack inducing. Those loud training wheels just add to the panic since your toddler is so intent on the crazy fun ride they block you, and the wheels are so loud they can’t hear you (a 2.5yo biking down the middle of our suburban road with an oncoming car did scare the pants off me. Oops!) Now that she’s 3.5 though, she is allowed to bike ahead to the next hydrant or bus stop or whatever, and wait for us. She’s learned to stay on the side of the road and is so happy to have that bit of (controlled) freedom. And yes, it still freaks hubby out.
Good luck sorting out your comfort levels.
M. says:
I was just thinking about kid leashes yesterday! At first, I was like Heather. I thought they were ridiculous. Then at the grocery store my husband and I lost our almost-2-year-old. And that was with both parents there! My husband and I had separated to buy different things but were still within sight of each other. Our older daughter was throwing a fit. She was with me. Our younger daughter was with my husband and she came over to give her sister a hug. The older one continued to whine and cry, so I was dealing with her. When I turned back, the younger one was gone. I figured she had gone back to her dad. Then my husband turned to me and asked where she was. He didn’t have her! There was a moment of panic as we checked the nearby aisles. She wasn’t there. I made a dash for customer service as my husband went to guard the front door. Then we found her — many aisles away and coming from the opposite side of the store, happy as can be. We caught up to her and asked, “Where you looking for us?” She shook her head, smiling, “uh-uh.” Soooo it may be time for a kid leash. She is super fast and not afraid of anything.
Faith says:
Im guilty as well. That little monkey backpack has been a LIFESAVER at the airport and at the zoo when he just knows he has to walk by himself and not sit in the stroller!
Anthony from CharismaticKid says:
Kid leashes were ALL THE RAGE in the early 90s. Don’t you know this? I was on one I think.
I think I may have blocked that part of my childhood out.
Babbalou says:
I got a leash for my older son, who was totally into escape, once his younger brother got too heavy for me to carry everywhere in the baby backpack. With one child in a stroller you can’t catch the other child if he decides to bolt unless you abandon the child in the stroller. We lived in a big east coast city at the time, didn’t own a car and walked everywhere. The leash saved my son’s life and my sanity. Seriously, the older child was 4 the first time he decided to ring the bell and hop off the bus by himself while I was sitting down with the baby on my lap and the stroller callapsed between my knees. Fortunately half the bus started screaming and the driver waited until I could jump up and follow him off the bus. So I say whether or not you approve of a child leash totally depends on circumstances. And remember, not every child is willing to hold your hand on command. My son absolutely HATED holding my hand, you’d think I was torturing him! When he was a teenager, the bolter was diagnosed with ADHD.
Editdebs says:
While I didn’t buy it (a friend gave it to me after her son got too old), I really liked it. Only used it a few times, but in crowded situations, it really gave me some peace of mind. My son got to walk around without holding my hand, so he felt less confined. And I got to look around too, not just concentrate on whether I could see him.
Tonya says:
Leash the kid! Back in the day when I was an opinionated childless teacher, I had all sorts of opinions about toddlers on leashes. Then I had the wildest, most impulsive, FAST little girl I’d ever seen. It took her slipping from my hand one busy Friday night and darting toward the road in downtown Nashville, TN to make me decide those leashes were, in fact, awesome! We used the one that fits around the child’s wrist and it allowed us to have many stress-free times in crowded settings. My second child didn’t need the leash. She was happy to hold my hand and she wasn’t a spastic maniac like her sister, who, by the way, is now 11 and is one of the most mature kids you’ll ever meet. She’s polite and smart and quite civilized. I hate that the leash is yet one more thing that parents want to judge each other on. Ours may well have prevented a tragic accident.
Lindy says:
I’m with you on the judgement! Whatever works for you and I hate that some people try to make me feel like an abusive parent for using one. Just because I use one doesn’t mean I can’t control my daughter or that I’m lazy.
Shannon O says:
Just thought I’d tell you that my husband and I always agreed that we didn’t want a kid leash until we had our third child. Then I bought one at Target one day. I put it on him and when I barely pulled on it, his feet slid out from under him and he busted his lip. You should have seen the looks I received from the other parents – Worst Parent Ever! I never used it after that. Parenting is hard, and I can’t imagine how overprotective you would feel after having lost one child. I just pray that I will make the right decisions and not hold on way too tight.
karen says:
I didnt use the wrist type but my parents bought the backpack type and that was great.
When they both were learning to walk we used reins but that was more so they could walk unaided, which they loved, but couldnt quite fall over cos we had hold of the reins, which we appreciated much more than they did!.
The back pack was used more in crowded situations than not, as little legs dont half go fast and weave in and out of legs with great agility.
However Mike, the only person who gets distracted in shoe shops and could lose the people they are with is my 7 year old daughter. The first time she walked in the mall she found a shoe shop and stood, hands on the window and gazed with longing.
Becca says:
I find it interesting how heated people get about the whole “kid leash” thing. I, personally, don’t really see any harm in them. That doesn’t mean I’m going to substitute them for a babysitter so I don’t have to watch my kid while I’m out in the open, it’s just an added measure. Actually, if you want to make the argument, you could say it helps with independance because you’re allowing your child to feel as though they have a small amount of freedom to explore, even though they are safely connected to you.
The whole “treating them like a pet” business – I’m sorry Heather, but I just can’t buy it. You’re not strapping it around their neck. To them it’s just a monkey shaped backpack with an oversized tail.
Again – I agree with everyone, it’s also not an everyday use. But it can be handy in certain situations.
Mary says:
We had one. Not so much for our daughter as for our son. They get tired of holding your hand and he didn’t always respond to his name. Plus you never know how quickly they can disappear.
MS says:
My aunt had a rule that worked pretty well and probably started it when her kids were about Annie’s age. My mom also used it with us. Starting at places with shopping carts (grocery, Target, etc), you had to be close enough to touch mom or the cart AT ALL TIMES. You didn’t actually have to have your hand on either, but you had to be that close. If you ever weren’t, you rode in the cart, period, for the rest of the trip. Worked in parking lots, etc as well. No one ever wanted to ride in the cart once you were big enough to walk! Good luck, its a challenge no matter what.
Glam-O-Mommy says:
My mom did that with me, except I always had to have my hand on the cart at the grocery store as a kid. I’ve done this with my daughter when she doesn’t want to stay in her stroller, I just make her keep a hand on the stroller so she’s right with me and she’s done pretty well with that. I haven’t used a leash with her myself, but I don’t judge other parents that do…some probably really need it!!
Susan says:
Five boys and I never used a leash; however, if that helps keep a child safe, I’m all for it. I am sick and tired of watching small children in public places that parents are not watching them. Should a leash substitute parents eyes, NO but even if it does, at least the child is safer if on a leash. Good luck. I don’t think it is an a topic of argument.
Laura says:
I’ve actually just bought two of the backpack ‘leashes’ for my 14-month-old twins. I’m going to be flying internationally with them in a few weeks – alone – so having them wearing them will make just one (well, two!) less thing for me to worry about. That way, they can burn energy by walking around the airports, and won’t get frustrated being stuck in the stroller. That’s the theory anyway!
Heather says:
The Hubs and I are very different in regards to the kids safety as well. As long as the kids aren’t doing something that will cause them serious bodily injury- I’m all for it. Want to climb the ladder to the slide yourself? Have at it. Monkey bars? Bring ’em on! Awesome climbing tree? Let me give you a boost! I keep a close eye on them and honestly believe the bumps and scrapes and yes, even broken limbs, are a part of childhood. I’ll do whatever I can to prevent them, but I’m not going to wrap my kids up in bubble wrap and cotton balls before I send them out to play.
The Hubs doesn’t even let the kids take the couch cushions off the couch and jump on them on the floor in fear that they’ll get hurt.
All that said, we both agreed that the monkey backpack leash was a must have with my youngest. She’d run away from us just because she could and she didn’t care where she was going. Parking lots. Stores. Fair. Amusement Parks. We didn’t use it all the time, but if we were going someplace really crowded it was a must have for us. Sure we got some looks, but my kids safety trumps all and I know what my little devil is capable of!
Nicole says:
My toddler willingly wears an otter backpack we have that you can attach a leash to. She’ll actually demand “otta! otta!”
And its cute and stops her from running into traffic. I got it at the vancouver aquarium and proceeds went to the otter habitat there.
Jill says:
For me, there have been situations where the backpack/leash has been a must. One being the airport. When my daughter had just turned two, I flew home with her by myself. I had her stroller, but I also had her huge carseat that I wanted her in on the plane. So, stroller held the carseat, and Hope was thrilled to walk beside me with her backpack through the crowded airport. It worked perfectly. And I am not ashamed.
Leslie says:
Emily has a monkey that she wears on her back and I hold the tail…from Target. She LOVES her monkey. I was on a tether as kid so I was NEVER going to do that. The fair, Disneyland, the mall are soooo much happier with it. And even busy streets, she felt like she was walking “her beself”. And she is so happy to have her monkey. She hasn’t worn it in a long time (she’s 3 now) and she asked to the other day…
Jasmin says:
I bought a kid leash for that “just in case” moment and it came in real handy when we took our kids to Disney last summer. Originally I was of the Heather mentality thinking they looked ridiculous and I’d never have to use it.
We were traveling with my husband’s family and his niece, 10 years old, ended up getting lost. That was quite an ordeal and I realized that having the leash gave me peace of mind.
Debi says:
My “babies” are 31 and 28 and I used harnesses (that’s what we call them in the Great White North or Canada) I can’t tell you how many times they saved my kids literally. Its takes a second. A small second for the kid to wander or run off. And it takes a lot longer for your heart to start beating again once you find them.
You’re right Mike, all you have to do is glance at something and poof, the kid is gone. My grandchildren used them too.
Its too bad but the world isn’t like it was when I was small, or you and Heather were small or my kids. And it certainly is worse now and I find myself much more protective of the grandkids then I did even of my own kids.
Colleen says:
My kids have never needed them, they were never wanderers. BUT my brother John, took off whenever he had opportunity and a leash probably svaed his life more times than not. Yes, they had kid leashes back in the late 1940’s! I remember a story about my grandma being appalled that my mom would use it on him. When Grandma had him at the zoo, she grabbed for the leash like a long, lost friend! Annie doesn’t sound like a dasher, so I doubt you would need a leash. But I would never judge any parent who used one, they know their kids best. Also, I am one of those people who doesn’t use a dog leash, but I also live in a suburb and my dog doesn’t ever take off (exccept to play with squirrels).
Gertie says:
I swore I would also not use a leash.
Then I flew by myself with my four year old and my two year old. I bought the leash for my two year old. I didn’t want to drag around a stroller. I also didn’t know what I would do if they took off after something.
The leash WAS GOLDEN. My two year old LOVED it. He called it his backpack and asked to put it on right away after our flight. It gave me total peace of mind in the airport.
Additionally since my two year old was right next to me, my four year old did not feel compelled to run off. I am certain if he had had an accomplice, he would have been more tempted to be all over the place.
I am now a now leash fan in situations that warrant it.
Charlene says:
I used a toddler safety device also – it made trips through the airport, fairs, and any other place where there were tons of people safer. It didn’t stop my daughter from exploring, just kept her within reach. She would still run and run, it didn’t deter her. So I vote yes for toddler safety!!
Dawn K. says:
I had an early walker (9 1/2 months) and now at 15 months, Ella will take off down the sidewalk and get two houses down before she turns to look for us, laughs, and keeps going. She’s already started to figure out how to get out of shopping cart safety belts, which makes that more unsafe/troublesome than a child on a leash. A leash will be a must for us, because she’s just too strong willed and too young to yet know standing beside us in a store or on a walk.
Michelle says:
I was a judgey “I’ll never put MY child on a leash!’ parent until I had 2 crazy, wild, boys a year apart. With my daughters, it just wasn’t necessary. Then I had 2 boys. I actually didn’t even buy the backpacks (the monkey and the puppy, which they absolutely loved and last year when they turned 4 and 5 and no longer needed them and we gave them to a friend who was going to be traveling alone with her 2 toddler boys, my boys mourned those backpacks!) My mom bought them for me and left them on my porch one day when I told her I was going to be taking them all to the LA Zoo by myself. I was appalled and insulted. My boys saw them and were THRILLED to put them on. They also held their own “leashes” or each other’s more than I ever did, but at least they were there if I needed them.
We lost my little one at the beach once when he was only 3. One minute he was in the water (and he was already a very strong swimmer in the pool which made him dangerous at the ocean because he’d dive in and swim as far as he could until the wave sent him crashing back to shore, over and over) and one minute I couldn’t see him. I panicked. We had everyone on the beach searching, including life guards. It took TEN MINUTES to find him, which may as well been ten years because that was how it felt. I was positive he’d drowned. Ends up he’d spotted some colorful kayaks down the beach and just decided to go check them out. I still get shaky thinking about that day and it was 2 years ago! If kid leash wearing can save some parent of experiencing that feeling then I’m all for them.
Elizabeth says:
we also have a kid leash. we bought it when our now 2 yr old was just starting to walk. we don’t use it as much now (as she is learning to hold our hands All.The.Time. in public) but it was definitely a good investment. She loves her ‘puppybackpack’ and it was one of her first words.
Monica says:
I too bought the monkey backpack. Used it only a few times at the mall. It provided me with some peace knowing she was literally attached to me and couldn’t run off.
Karen says:
I was against leashes right up until the day when, as I was checking out at the supermarket, the person behind me politely drew my attention to the fact that my 14 month old had escaped her stroller (yes, she was strapped in, 5 point restraint and all) and was heading out the door to the parking lot. That is how I learned she was a runner.
It was most useful when I knew I’d need to attend to something other than my child for more than a few seconds (e.g. financial transaction, checking in at the airport) and when it was obvious that a brief lapse of attention on my part could be extremely dangerous (e.g. busy street, big crowds).
Heather P says:
I would love to weigh in on this. I have a 3 year old son. When he first started walking I noticed that he LOVED to wander off even though I was looking, I was very nervous, and found going out in public to be very difficult, due to having to chase him all over. At first I tried one of those backpack leashes, very hesitantly. I had been very against then at first, but quickly realized that it was for his own safety. I decided that I really didn’t like the backpack ones, because they were very big and noticeable, and I wanted to have some dignity for my son. I didn’t want people immediately noticing that he was “on a leash”. Luckily I am a handy person, so I went to my local fabric store, bought some leash material, velcro and a fastener. I fashioned a wrist band with velcro on one side and a loop on the other large enough to go over my hand. This way, I could secure the one side to my son’s wrist, and the other side would go on MY wrist. I NEVER called it a leash, it was a wrist band, and my son was ok with it, because “mommy had on the other side”. Instead of holding my son on a leash like a dog, we were simply connected at the wrist. It was just one safer step past holding hands. It worked great. I used it until he was a little over 2 years old. Now he is 3 and I don’t have to worry as much. Hope this helps. I actually think that you can get these type of wrist bands in some stores. Those ones are very short though, so your kid can’t explore around at all; that is why I made mine a bit longer.
Jana says:
I was one of those mom’s who thought any parent who puts their kids on leashes were just lame, until I had child #4, he was like living with Sonic the hedge hog!! SO when we decided one summer to take them to the zoo, I turned to my husband and told him I was not going unless our son was on a leash…It was really the greatest thing I did, I am sure we would have lost him in the insane crowds of people.
My husband who was hesistent after agreed that was a good idea, our son was free to roam as he wanted but he never got very far. I think that sometimes you just have to leat things go, or decide you are going to try your way when you are with her and Heather can do it a differnt way when she is with Annie.
All kids are different and we can teach them and teach them but at 2 they are still learning and some kids are just determained and ready to meet the world, and the more kids you have the more you have to keep track of, there is nothing wrong with wanting to keep your kids safe no matter how barbaric it may look to other people.
I just keep talking about things to my husband just suttle enough for him to start thinking about it and pretty soon it becomes his idea. If it starts to get into a argument, I back off and then bring it up later again…and so on. It seems to work for the most part.
Lisa says:
No, no, no and no! I am sorry, if Annie had special needs or there were two of her or maybe 3, maybe I would feel different, but I doubt it I brought up 5 younger siblings and 3 children of my own, one a definite wanderer. I also have a grandson, Jack the explorer. They all know/knew you stay with Mommy/Daddy/Nana or you are carried or put in a cart no ifs and buts about it. I think it gives you an artificial feeling of safety. You come to rely on it and not your own senses. What happens if they slip the leash or you forget to bring it. Then, you have taught them nothing and you are in more danger than you were before.
Babbalou says:
I’m confused about the “carried or put in a cart” part of your comment. It’s not possible to carry more than one child, and the only place I ever had a cart is at the grocery store. So doing errands in a walking city that’s not really an option. Maybe if you’re just driving to the grocery store and then going inside it’s an option. But for some of us, walking around a city neighborhood to do errands with two kids requires a way to hold onto both kids plus the groceries and other purchases. Good for you if you never needed anything like a leash, or wrist band as we called it. But different moms have different needs, different lifestyles.
Katie Gonzalez says:
I wish I had a leash to take my nephew to the childrens museum! That kid is like a rocket!!!
Amanda says:
Before I had kids, I used to think of those things as a leash. Now that I have two kids, I totally think they are so handy to have in certain situations. And besides, the way they are made these days, they do not look like leashes – more like cute backpacks with long tails.
I got my daughter the monkey one when I was traveling alone with her (by air) while I was 6 months pregnant. At the age that she was (15 months), she no longer wanted to sit in her stroller the entire time and I knew that with the monkeypack, I’d be able to let her roam a bit, while having the peace of mind that she wouldn’t wander off while I talked to the ticket agent, etc. Honestly, have you ever, for a split second, thought you “lost” your child?! In a crowd of people, when you don’t see them the second you look down at where they last were, your heart stops, your throat closes and you panic – and when you start to panic, your eyes no longer “search” effectively because they begin to dart all over the place frantically trying to locate them and THAT is how you end up losing them. The monkeypack gives you peace of mind and it is not hurting the child or demeaning them in any way (in my opinion), so I really don’t see the harm in using it from time to time. Actually, my daughter loves it and often brings it to me so that I can put it on her.
I have to side with you on this one, Mike. If Heather ever loses sight of Annie in a crowd, even for a split second, I think the panic she will feel will change her mind on the whole “leash” thing (but obviously I hope it never comes to that).
Missy says:
I never went out and actually bought a kid leash, but we were given one as a gift. I don’t bust it out often, but I have on a couple occasions. My little one has gotten to where she hasn’t liked the stroller in a long time, and if she’s walking, she refuses to hold my hand… she’s little miss independent. So there were a couple times when we went places that were super crowded that I used the backpack/leash. I had lots of people look at me like I was crazy, including my friends that I was with. But I know my kid, and it was more important for me to keep her safe than to worry about what people thought of me.
Christina says:
I never, ever thought I’d agree with using a kid leash – until I had a child. My little one is a runner, too, so while we would try holding hands, she’s pretty tricky and then would just take off. It came in very handy at the mall, especially when Christmas shopping since I had my hands so full. We also used it at many tourist places and I’m sure it saved our nerves!
My husband is the same as you – always thought he’d be a relaxed parent, but is very overprotective and the leash gave him some piece of mind. Our daughter didn’t mind – we only used it from the time she started walking to probably the age of 2 1/2 – 3, but in our case, it was definitely a lifesaver!
twingles says:
I do think it’s ironic that people use leashes to keep their DOGS safe but won’t use them on kids for the same reason. I think people have come a long way with their thinking on this though….when my twins were at that age (10 years ago)…people were horrified by them. I see them more and more now. So I was relegated to always using the stroller. I would’ve like to let them walk more, but it just wasn’t safe.
It’s foolish to think there will never be a time when your child can get away from you. It happens all the time and not just to “bad”‘ parents. But everyone has to use what they feel comfortable with to prevent that from happening.
BethRd says:
I never used one with my first because he was extremely risk-adverse and usually the problem with him was prying him off my leg, not keeping him from running away. My second isn’t a total wild child, but was a much braver toddler, and we had a leash we used with her at about Annie’s age. I used it on a trip to Atlanta where I navigated public transportation with both kids and it was much less cumbersome than a stroller and much less hair-raising than trying to make sure she didn’t fall off a subway platform onto the tracks using pure vigilance.
I am very much of the “no harm no foul” persuasion. If it doesn’t make the child unhappy, and it makes the parent feel safer or allows the child more freedom of movement, then why not? I don’t think it’s really much like walking a dog, because you don’t tug on the leash to direct the child like you would a dog. It’s much more a tether than a leash in the dog sense.
Lisa says:
In our parenting relationship I am the more easy going. My husband will all of a sudden be afraid of the strangest things. He’ll be convinced our daughter is going to get hurt and I’ll be all like, “She’s 3, I think she can figure it out, you have to let her learn.” He usually comes around.
Our approach is that if his concern is genuine and there is actual danger involved he gets his way, if not then he’ll come around to see my point of view after a while.
Bella says:
Last fall when my nephew was heading toward 2 1/2 there were a couple of opportunities in which he just about hurled himself into the middle of a very busy street. One time my mom caught him by the shirt half a foot before he got out between two parked cars and into rush hour traffic.
We then bought a backpack “leash”. He loves it. He choose who holds it. We don’t have to worry about him being run over by a car. It’s a win-win in our case.
For us, unlike what Mike described about being distracted and Annie wandering away, it’s the simple fact that my nephew will NOT HOLD STILL for any period of time. If we leave the house he is on the move and none of us are able to keep him from disappearing. He won’t hold hands and if you call for him he’ll run the other direction.
So for us going out of the house, even to the mailbox, he needs to have his backpack on (that’s what we call it, or the one at his house is the “mono”).
Carla says:
I was never going to do the leash thing, and never did, except for the trip that I took my older daughters on to the mountains. We planned to walk on trails and see waterfalls in a state park while we were there. I was the only adult on this trip and my son was two. We purchased an Elmo leash and I kept him on it the entire time we were in the state park. It gave me a huge piece of mind knowing he wasn’t going to hurdle himself over the side of a waterfall!! That was eight years ago! This summer, on a return trip to the same state park, my now ten year old son, found it hilarious to think he had worn an “Melmo” leash!!
Giselle says:
Go for the leash! Just stop before she gets to high school.
Wallydraigle says:
My mom says she always thought they were barbaric until they adopted my oldest sister. “Then… I UNDERSTOOD,” she says ominously. My oldest sister was, to put it mildly, willful. She’s an extraordinary person now, but I can’t imagine raising her. If I were her mother, she’d probably have darted into a cave full of bears in the time it took me to surreptitiously pick my nose in an empty aisle of Wal-Mart in the middle of the city.
My mom has also pointed out that it’s a great way to allow a willful child the freedom she wants without risking her getting lost. I’d never thought of it that way; I’d only thought about it from the perspective of the parent controlling the child. But it’s true. I have one very independent younger daughter. I think she’d actually be happier if we got her a leash. It hasn’t become necessary yet, so I’m going to avoid all the judgment from other people unless it becomes necessary. But I won’t have any personal qualms about it if it ever comes to that.
Tasha says:
We use the kid leash with our daughter because she likes to run and I mean any chance she gets. If she is out of the stroller, the leash is on. We had one with our son but didnt use it often because he never left us. My husband and I did argue over it when we first bought it. He said it was stupid and I said it was a safety issue. We bought it and in the end, he sees I was right.
Alicia says:
I have always felt that baby leashes were awesome. I have one, a friend gave me her from her son, but have yet to use it, she’s not that fast yet. LOL. She dislikes being in the stoller/cart. She likes to walk around. and soon she will be able to run, I sense it in her. And then she will wear the monkey backpack. I don’t get people who compare it to a dog leash and have a cow. We do lots of things with babies that we wouldn’t do with a full grown adult or older child. Playpens? Baby gates? Cabinet locks? All things we do for our children’s safety. Sure, I COULD and DO watch my child all day. But all it takes is a second for a child to run around the corner and get in a cupboard or stick a spoon in an outlet. (my daughter tried this…)Same concept with the leash. Things can happen. Why not be prepared?
Madi G. says:
Oh, I totally agree with this, especially the “We do lots of things to babies; things we wouldn’t do to adults.”
I mean, think of the very concept of a crib! It’s a mini jail cell, really! A literal padded room, if you will. All in the name of safety.
I’ve spent many years nannying. The one thing I can tell you for sure is that kids vary tremendously. Some kids just don’t need a leash, so it makes it difficult for those parents to understand why another parent would use one.
Personally, I think kid leashes are tacky. But that didn’t stop me from using one with my twins. As their parent, it’s my job to raise them safely up to adulthood, and if I need to use a leash to accomplish that, then so be it.
Further, I grew up in a home where my older sibling passed away as a child. I’ve seen first hand how much this sucks for everyone involved. My god, if I can avoid that with a kid leash, then you can sure as hell bet I’m going to use it!
And I’ll use it regardless of what others think. It’s easy for others to toss stones; it’s not their kid. They don’t have to experience the feeling of terror when you realize your kid is 30 feet away, heading toward the street. And others most certainly don’t have to live with the lifetime of pain and regret that a parent experiences if the unthinkable occurs.
Tracey says:
I agreed with Heather until kid #3. I ran out of hands! And – you can tell her, it honestly saved my youngest child’s life once – had she not been wearing it she would have run away from me into the middle of downtown Seattle traffic to get to Santa….
Madi G. says:
I’ve long hated the idea of a leash. I think it’s tacky.
Though I don’t have any issue treating my kids like a dog….I love my dogs like there’s no tomorrow. I have them tattooed on me (portraits and paw prints!) They are my furry kids.
Anyways, I’ve always thought kid leashes were tacky.
And then I had twins.
Both of those twins are runners. When they wandered off, they didn’t stroll away. They ran at top speed, often in different directions.
If you’re alone, this leaves you with a terrible dilemma. (Whom do I try to catch first?…I always feared it would lead to a situation where I’d have to pick one to “save” from a perilous situation. The stuff of my nightmares.) Not good.
So we got us a leash. Just one. It made it so that they couldn’t run off simultaneously; one was tethered to me. It made it easy to reel in twin A, so I could pick her up and run after twin B.
Notably, I was *hoping* that they’d dislike the leash, so I could use it as motivation for them to stop fleeing. (I was hoping the possibility of getting leashed would serve as a sort of a psychological leash) Not so. They vyed for a turn on that thing!! They loved to pretend they were — you guessed it — dogs. (Again, not a bad thing in our home as we love our dogs more than most people. Before my kids, they were my life — I worked as a PT trainer and dog foster mom for the shelter. I also worked at a shelter for a while. I’m the type of person who won’t do/feed something to my dogs unless I’d do/eat it myself or give/feed it to one of my babies. For instance, I cook for them. They don’t eat food that comes from a bag or can.)
So now, I am a kid leash proponent, but only in certain situations (e.g. multiples). I don’t have a problem holding on to one kid, but when you have two or more, things can get dicey!
Babbalou says:
I love your comment that your kids liked to pretend they were dogs. When my boys were 1 and 3 and were playing in an adjoining room, the 3 year old came running out to say he had to go to the bathroom but had left his dog tied up. I went in to find the 1 year old with a jump rope tied to his overall straps and the other end tied to the crib slats. I had to explain to both boys that the younger one didn’t have to be the dog if he didn’t want to be a dog, and in any case it was not ok to tie up your brother.
Kara says:
My husband and I butt heads over safety issues (he’s also the more protective of the two of us). When there’s a conflict, I usually try ask him to let us first try the option that allows our son more freedom, less supervision, and I let my husband know what I’m doing to teach our son to be safe. Most of the time, our son can learn the rules and my husband is reassured. The rest of the time, well then, I was wrong!
The leash issue was one of our conflicts, too, and it came up at around Annie’s age. We decided that we’d first try a strict hand-holding rule when in places where our son could run off. Basically the rule was that if we were in a place where it felt like that we could lose him or it wasn’t safe to let him roam, our son had to hold one of our hands at all times. If our son let go of the hand, then he temporarily lost the privilege of walking and being able to choose what we looked at (we’d carry him or put him in the stroller for longer distances). If he had a tantrum because he didn’t want to be carried or to ride, too bad, we’re heading home. It took a few tries and reinforcement once in a while. But this worked well for our kid, who has a strong independent streak. And I kind of feel like it has made it easier for our son to learn about related issues with personal safety. He’s old enough now that he doesn’t have to hold our hand anymore (he’s six), but he knows in those situations, he has to stay close or let us know he’s going to go look at something. I think a leash, for him at least, would have just put off the inevitable task of needing to teach him how to be safe.
Barefeet In The Kitchen says:
I didn’t really have an opinion for or against the leash until we had children. I was sooooo paranoid with my first, I just knew he was going to somehow launch himself off the hiking trail and tumble into the lake. So, I bought a leash. He wore it just a handful of times and then I forgot we had it.
A friend of mine pointed out that if we had to hold our own arms straight up in the air to hold someone else’s hand for extended lengths of time, that wouldn’t be very comfortable. For that reason, I did use the leash when we were going for long walks in our neighborhood as well.
With my second and third boys, the leash hasn’t been taken out of the drawer though. I just forgot about it. Not sure if we’ll use it again or not. I suppose it would depend on the situation.
Bianca S says:
I’m childless, but have done plenty of babysitting. Once a wilful two-year-old took off across a park in central Paris, heading straight for a dual carriageway. MAN could that kid move!! I was terrified!! I got to him just as he was about to open the park gate that led to the road. As a result, I would definitely use baby reins on some kids if I thought they needed it.
Jeannine says:
we have one, not the monkey one but a backpack one. First kid didnt need it (didnt have it then) but my second was a wanderer at first. use it sparingly. For the third, we have used it once. I dont think its appropriate to use something like that DAILY, as there is a lot to be said for hand holding and looking after your kid in controlled situations and teaching them to stay near. But there are other situations where it works, and in those instances i/we use it. Hope you guys can figure something out with Annie..
Elizabeth says:
We have a leash for our daughter and she loves it. We got it an babies r us and it is a backpack with a leash that can be attached to it. We didn’t think our strong willed little runner would like it but she loves it. She wears it all the time and thinks it is hilarious when she runs and gets pulled back in. I didn’t think I would leash my kid (we were leashed as kids after my cousin got lost at Bush Gardens so I knew they existed way before I had kids) but since my daughter’s favorite place outside is the middle of the road I caved.
tandy says:
We used one a occasionally with my first, mostly at amusement parks, the zoo, Disneyland, etc. It wasn’t something we led her around with, but it raised my awareness of.things that she was curious about. If she started to change course, we would follow her, allowing her to explore and discover what she wanted to.
Then I had twins. My oldest was three when they were born. She was a good kid, but it was overwhelming to do anything without anxiety about one of them wandering off once the twins were mobile. We used the monkey backpack a little more often, especially when I took them out on my own. Once they got older enough to communicate better, I taught them to hold onto my pockets if we were in a crowded place – grocery shopping where I don’t have free hands, for example. Most places don’t have carts that accommodate more than one child. The twins are 5 now and I have been able to relax a lot during our outings the last 18 months or so.
Caroline says:
Honestly, this is a personal decision that should be made with NO regard for “what people might think”. The best parenting advice I ever recieved is “Could I live with myself if I was wrong about this choice?” and then choose whichever side you’re most comfortable with.
What’s the worst that could happen if your child was on a leash?
1. People might give you funny looks and make judgmental statements.
2. Annie might struggle against it a little bit. (but would she do that without a leash too if you were holding her hand?)
3. Umm, can’t think of three.
What’s the worst that could happen if your child was not a on a leash?
1. traffic
2. stranger danger
3. don’t need a three IMO
I never used a leash personally, but I really thought about it. My son was a wanderer, but we lived in a smaller town when he was young, so it wasn’t terribly necessary. If we’d been a bigger city, I don’t think I would have thought twice.
My two cents…
Halyn says:
Someone upthread mentioned that they were sad that this was yet another thing for parents to judge each other about, and I’m gonna echo that. Don’t like kids on leashes? Don’t put your kid on a leash. See how easy that is?
I didn’t need a leash for my first…he was clingy. My second was a runner. I generally didn’t use the leash with her either, but I had to fly a couple of times with both kids and no other adults when she was in the toddler runaway years and that leash sure came in handy. Trying to juggle a carseat, a five year old, a two year old, boarding passes, diaper bag, purse, carry-on bag for the boy, carry-on for the girl, my ID to show at checkpoints…well, I was rapidly running out of hands to delegate to child-herding. I can’t think of a worse place to lose a child than an airport…I’ll take my chances that a better parent (eyeroll) is tsking me.
Becki says:
Used the leash but ONLY for extreme crowd situations.
It will save you and your sanity in places like Disneyland!
Kids also enjoy it too – sometimes I was so tired but my daughter was bouncing all over – s0 I could sit on a bench at the Dland and let her roam a bit!!!!!
It also is nice if there are physical threats as well, as in taking a walk where there might not be fences protecting a hurdle over a hill.
And compromise is always best. As in YOU dont overuse it and Heather agrees to try it in a crowded arena, i.e. the LA or OC Fair . .. . .
LaDonna says:
I used the kid leash on both of my munchkins. They are 13 months apart and when in a crowded place holding onto both hands at the same time impossible! Even when I had one with me he or she would wear the leash. They had ones that had an animal backpack on the back and loved wearing them I of course got some nasty looks and words but my kids safety comes first! When we were stationed in Germany it saved their lives on those narrow streets with cars screaming by. Be protective!
Kristin says:
I’m 125% with Heather on this one. I am repulsed by the idea of putting my kid on a leash. Strap em in a stroller, sure… leash them, no way!
Do kids wander off? Sure, I know it happens. My stance is that if you teach your child how to behave when in a public place, bring things to occupy them, and keep your eye on them (even if shoes are involved) there is no need for a leash.
These kids on a leash are being taught ZERO self control.
jackie says:
Seriously?
Have you bothered to read the comments by others? Do you have children? Do you have 3, 4, 5 children? Do you have a child with autism or developmental delays? Have you travelled alone with them? Been to Disneyland with them?
I often had such “stance”s before I had children 14 months apart…then I realized that saying, “I would never…” made people sound immature and ignorant.
I hope people don’t judge you so harshly for decisions you make that they may not agree with or know anything about.
Kristin says:
I have read other comments. I have 2 children, 7 and 4. I have traveled alone with them, and I have taken them to Disneyworld, SeaWorld, Legoland, the mall, Target, the park, the fair, the airport… list can go on. I have never once used a leash or thought I needed a leash. My children know that if they do not listen to me when in a public place there will be consequences. When they were younger one would be in a stroller. I believe I said I am repulsed by the thought of putting MY kid on a least. Not yours. Read my post again. I didn’t say “Iwould never” Yes, I think they are silly. That’s my opinion, which I am entitled to. If you use them, then more power to you.
I will say this though for the comment about living in a walking city.. I have no idea what that is like. Where I live you drive everywhere. If you have to go run 5 errands, you drive to 5 different places. If I were to live in a city where you walk everywhere, I would try all other options before going to a leash. That is just the way I feel.
I have a very good friend that has a 7 yr old autistic child, a 5 year old and a 2 year old. She does not own a leash either.
Jackie says:
I’ve never used one either but I would never, ever say that parents who choose to are teaching their children ZERO control. What about trying to support others’ decision? It’s great for you that you are such a great parent.
K says:
Regarding walking…and sort of off topic…
People who don’t live in big cities can’t always grasp the unique living situations that come with it. We live in Baltimore. My house is on a busy bus route. The other main road we walk down frequently will soon have a high speed train screaming down the middle of it. Traffic is appalling. There are dogs everywhere. I never used a leash, but I certainly would if I had a runner.
I still use a stroller for my 4 1/2 year old daughter. I know lots of people think 4 is far too old for a stroller. But she’s small and she has short legs. The other day we went to the grocery store, my workplace, the bank, my son’s school and the public library. Round trip, it was about 6 miles. She walked for part of the time, but she’s just not capable of walking 6 miles. Particularly when it’s 106 degrees. And besides, how am I supposed to get my groceries and library books home? People get so judgy about stuff that’s none of their business.
Gertie says:
You sound like a real jerk in this post.
cindy w says:
We own a toddler leash. Obviously I don’t use it right now since my oldest kid is 4 and generally well-behaved, and the other one is 8 weeks & not mobile yet. But I had to fly cross-country with her a couple of times when she was about 18 months old, and I just decided that it would work for airports. She could walk around to burn off her pent-up energy, and I didn’t have to worry about losing her in the crowd while I rummaged around for my boarding pass. So, no judgment here on the leash idea. Especially if you have a kid that thinks it’s funny to run away from you? Leashes make a damn lot of sense in that case.
Also, we got the toddler leash at Target, and it basically looks like a stuffed animal backpack. The handle part zips up into the backpack when you aren’t using it as a leash, so it’s basically just another cute toy.
Amy Collen says:
I tried the leash just one time with my older son. Well, it didn’t really work because off he wandered and yanked me along behind him. I mean you can’t really yank them back. LOL! Plus I could feel all the burning judgmental eyes on me. Normally I really don’t care what people think but when you do something like that which about 70% of the people (i.e. moms) disagree with you can FEEL their venomous stares burning into your skin. After awhile it made me tired. LOL! Besides for some reason my kiddo thought that he had more freedom with the leash (since he was out of his stroller) and would scream his head off when I would try to keep him close. All in all a big mess. Mind you he was only around 2. So, I just kept him in the stroller and after that I held his hand. It worked really well. Now at 5 he just holds my hand automatically when needed and when the opportunities come when I don’t need to hold his hand I don’t. I do this with his 2 year old brother as well now. It works very easily just holding hands until they learn to stay with you then let them off on their own a little bit so they feel all grown up.
Krista says:
I have 2 kids and always felt a good hand grip on them usually does the trick I did see Al Madrigal a comedian do a sketch about “leash babies” and have to admit it was pretty funny.
http://www.tbs.com/video/index.jsp?oid=231067
Either way you and Heather are doing an amazing job!
lissa says:
We used them on both of our children – and I wouldn’t have changed a thing. Parenting is hard enough already, and why not give yourself a little stress reliever? I get anxious being in crowds already, and then having two very adorable children, it made me more anxious. After getting them the leashes it provided me with enough confidence that I could go out with them both, and not have to worry as much. Now that they are 6 and 7, we use the – put your hand on the cart or on my pocket – drill. Works wonderfully =] Hope you and Heather can come up with a compromise…
TracyKM says:
I babywore, and let them walk only in secure places (all my kids were walking at 11 months). It kept them safe, social, and kept me fit, LOL. I could even use some of the ring slings as a make shift leash. Once they hit 35lb, I couldn’t wear them anymore, but daddy could for a few more pounds. If not, then it was quite simple…you hold my hand or you’re in the stroller/cart/truck, whatever. The first infraction meant adios to freedom, but each day was a new day. My kids each had ONE bolting incident and seemed to learn their lesson. We rarely even needed the stroller because they knew the rules and why, so by the time they were 3 1/2, I knew I could trust them, and they got a bit more freedom. I see so many zombie kids, either in the stroller, or attached (by hand) to the stroller. They look so bored, so unengaged; it’s really sad!
We just got back from a trip to the States, and I was appalled to see kids who were 4 and older (one kid looked 6!) in strollers. They were either zombies, or having tantrums from sitting in the stroller so long. How long do YOU like to sit on your butt without having a stretch? Kids need to have movement that engages their muscles, stroller sitting, staring at knees, being ignored…..it’s all just asking for more trouble when they DO get out of the stroller!
BethRd says:
@Kristen: I have participated in the leash/no leash debate when it comes up on a couple of different parenting forums, and it’s pretty common for someone to say to put the child in a stroller rather than put them on a leash. What I don’t get is – why is that better? How does it teach your child to behave in a public space to use a stroller? It doesn’t take self-control to sit in a chair that someone has strapped you to! Most of the objections that apply to leashes also apply to strollers (the child isn’t learning to obey commands, the parent gets to be ‘lazier’ and not watch their child every second, the child doesn’t always like it and sometimes cries, it’s something that would potentially be demeaning if done with an older child or adult) and yet most of the same people who hate leashes are OK with strollers. I’ve never understood why.
avasmommy says:
**like**
Kristin says:
You know, I do kind of agree here with you. I really meant for when they are really little. Both of my kids were out of the stroller before 2. We used a stroller for longer trips like the zoo, or traveling. They had the option of sitting if they were tired, or if they didn’t behave they had to sit in the stroller. Someone commented before about zombie kids and older kids in strollers and I agree. Some kids don’t want to sit in a stroller the entire time and get restless.
Sheryl Macnie says:
I used them and they saved my sanity. We live in Tierra del Fuego, the southernmost tip of South America. There is no problem going anywhere with kids here and there is very little traffic. so no sweat. However, whenever I visited my parents in Buenos Aires, (the capital of Argentina and a very large city) I most definitely put my country bumpkins on a leash. They were just not used to crowds or traffic and at the time were too young to understand my concerns. They are now 11 and 8 and do not seem scarred at all by the experience. I did get some filthy looks from some other parents however!
avasmommy says:
1. Why would you go to more effort to keep your dog safe than you would your child?
2. Toddlers are not adults. They have NO IMPULSE CONTROL.
3. It’s one thing to sit down and have a reasoned discussion with an 8 year old about not wandering off. Try it with a 2 year old. Go ahead, I’ll wait.
Rachel says:
I used the monkey backpack leash on my son from the time he was a bit over 1 until he was just under 3. I held his hand even though he was technically attached to me. My reason for getting the leash was because of other people, not my son. Yes, my son is a runner, and explorer, and has no fear. That wasn’t what bothered me. What bothered me was my fear of him being kidnapped. I know, not very likely but in these times it is not an irrational fear. I was able to relax and enjoy myself knowing that nobody could grab him and take off.
Alot of people are stating that parents just need to hold their childs hand. Who says parents that use the safety harness do not also hold the childs hand? It is only a backup safety method, secondary to our common sense. Keep your child close, teach them manners, hold their hands in busy or dangerous situations. A safety harness isn’t an excuse to stop parenting. Most of us realize that, I believe.
Gwen says:
I’m 26. When I was a kid, I had a leash. And that was before they made the cute leashes. We had the wrist to wrist leash, which in my opinion is more noticable. At least the monkey backpack is an attempt to mask the leash.
Kate says:
I never thought of using a leash on my oldest (who is 3) until our 2nd was born. When we were out and I had to stop to feed the baby, my oldest knew that I was less mobile and would take advantage of this time to try and run off. No, I don’t believe that the leash should take the place of training and discipline…but it helps keep my child safe while we’re working on these things. A willful, defiant child doesn’t learn things in one day! It takes many, many repetitions and a little growing up before she understands the consequences of running away from mommy. And in my opinion, keeping us all locked in the house ’til she learns is way more detrimental than a little leash time.
Claudia says:
we got one for our son when he was 1 1/2 year old. We travel overseas often and keeping a child on a seat for 9 hours straight is not an option. With the leash he has a delimited area and he doesn’t get to bother other passengers. It was a life saver and we got many compliments for it!
Jessica says:
We were at odds on the leash thing as well, except when it came to Disneyland. We bought one of the wrist to wrist ones and wore it during the busiest times of the day or at night. It just made us both feel a little safer that some random person wouldn’t snatch him up while we were walking thru a crowded area or he wouldn’t run away from us. The alternative is to ask “LiLo” for her old electronic monitoring anklet. That way you will always know where the kid is with out being leashed up!
Sirena says:
I love the leash! I don’t care how retarded they look – some kids really need that extra layer of help (and some parents too I guess). Just figure out what’s right for you! I’ve noticed plenty of parents have a call system (Gabby’s on her way to you, Jay!) and so on, so each fam has the right moves for them.
I love the leash/backpack hybrid – monkey backpack esp.!
Heather says:
I have the old fashioned leash that a friend gave me and while we didn’t use very often it was a saving grace in some places for safety and other reasons. We were at the High Museum in Atlanta – Terra Cotta Warrior exhibit and had the Burble on the leash (she was just turned two and entranced by the horses (2000 BC – not a pretty picture in my head) when an elderly woman said to me I didn’t know your generation believed in those. I said I do not know about my generation but I do. Now my daughter will hold my hand but from 2-4 it was an arm wrestling contest and just not worth it in certain places – airports, musuems, Central Park etc. However it definitely depends upon the parents and the child. No one rule works for everybody.
Lisa W says:
I personally don’t like the leash.. But I had to come to that way of thinking the hard way. My son (almost 2 at the time) was wearing one and I had stopped to look at something.. He tried to take off running and the leash jerked him back causing him to fall backwards on the bottom of a metal wrack. It bruised him up pretty bad across his back and we both sit in the middle of the floor crying.. I was so upset I had used to something that allowed him to get hurt.
Sarah says:
My husband and i had the same argument.. i was PRO ‘leash’ he was anti ‘leash’… he wanted our kids to ‘explore’ and not be tied… well we were together in a store and he allowed him to explore the racks… we had our eyes on him and within all those racks- he got lost… I freaked out. he wasnt in the section we were in. we had the store SHUT DOWN. and somehow he was found in 2 minutes on the other side of the store. NOW-we use the ‘leash’ as a failsafe. we hold their hands and the leash… we dont let them pull it and ‘walk themselves’… makes me feel alot better. sorry if you dont like it- but my oldest is now responsible to walk without holding our hands… but he is 5. im sorry my 2 year old still has to wear the silly monkey backpack until he will listen and stay with me.
But no worries- i dont judge those that DONT use it- just as i ask that they be respectful of my choice TO use it.
Dianne says:
We got the “doggy backpack” for my daughter at 18 mths. She hated to hold hands and we were planning for a vacation. I could not see how we were going to keep hold of her in the airport (when she wasn’t in the stroller) because we would have our own rolling bags to handle as well. The doggy backpack allowed her freedom to walk…plus she got to pull her own little suitcase! (One of my favorite photos of her!) She liked wearing the doggy backpack even without the tail attached!
Once her little brother was walking, she always wanted him to wear the doggy backpack so that she could walk him. Talk about the “blind leading the blind” (or maybe it should be the “bolter leading the other bolter”).
Ali says:
What’s that can you’d like opened for dinner, Mike? A can of worms, you say? Ahh, the kiddie leash. Yep, I swore I’d never use one. And then after my daughter arrived…well, I still don’t. One trick we’ve learned is the “shopping cart/hand/purse/insert object here” holding game–if she can hold the cart/hand/pants leg/whatever throughout the *entire* store, she gets to pick out one (reasonably priced) thing for herself. Some call it bribery, I call it teaching her 20th century politics. Scratch my back, I scratch yours. Another great game is “Simon Says”. (As in, Simon Says hold Mommy’s purse, now hold the cart, etc.) The winner gets to choose dinner for that evening. And, granted, sometimes I do end up flying around shoppers to grab my daughter from whatever ridiculously dangerous thing she’s managed to grab in 2.5 seconds. But most of the time, we’re good. I know Annie might be a little young for these tactics, but the bottom line, though, this is just what works for us. Everyone should “take off their judgey pants” (not in public, of course) and do what’s right for THEIR family.
jackie says:
And that’s great that those tactics work well for you. In other situations with multiple children and where there are things demanding your attention (airport, etc.), games aren’t always practical or possible.
Ali says:
@Jackie: Hence the reason I specifically stated “this is just what works for us. Everyone should “take off their judgey pants” and do what’s right for THEIR family”. Mike asked for suggestions; these are mine. Offering my opinion does not diminish the validity of other poster’s suggestions. It merely adds to the bank of ideas we can all draw from for inspiration on how to handle this thing called parenthood.
Jackie says:
You are right, I’m sorry. I was in a bad mood and took it out on you unfairly. Sorry!
Courtney says:
I live in downtown Dallas, and I see people walking dogs off-leash all the time. It drives me crazy! You only think you have control of your furry little companion…until they catch sight or scent of something intriguing, and then you realize they’re still an animal at heart!
As for kid leashes, I don’t have a problem with them. My mom used one on me when I was a tot – only in very large, crowded places like the state fair. Lots of people online get really worked up over them, but I honestly don’t see what the big deal is. It’s just another way to manage your child and keep him/her safe.
As for figuring out how to compromise in parenting – my husband and I are trying to find that balance also. We’re both fairly laid-back, but he’s still more laid-back than I am, which can create tension at times.
Jenifer says:
I’ve totally used the kid leash at the airport (when I had 2 toddlers in tow and was by myself) and at the mall. They make really cute ones now but I had no problem with them when they were kinda ooglee.
If you feel safer with your baby on a leash go for it.
Jenny says:
My husband and I have also had this debate. My parents never had a leash for my sister or I, but my brother was one of those kids who would wander off the second my mom was distracted. So they had one for him that worked well except when he wound it around clothes racks at stores. My husband didn’t have one for his daughter from his first marriage, but I think she probably could have used one on several difference occasions as she would run off in stores. While I would like to think I won’t use one, I think it will really depend on the child. If he/she is anything like my stepdaughter or brother a leash will be a necessity.
PS I grew up in suburbia as well. My parents concern was more about my brother wandering off or getting hurt or into trouble rather than someone kidnapping him.
Diane B. says:
I always try to compliment a parent whose child is on a leash or tell the child I love his cool backpack. Most parents only use it when their kid is a runner. My oldest would never ever have separated from me in a store in where there are lots of people, but my youngest…I’ve thought about the leash when she was younger, but she was usually content to hold hands. She’s also older now (almost 4) so I wouldn’t really consider it (wish for it, yes, but not really do it). In a city environment, it’s a great idea!!!
Deborah says:
I don’t have kids, but any time I see a kid with a leash attached to a parent, I wonder which one of them is the one actually being leashed.
Rebecca says:
I have yet to need a leash for my kids who are now 4 and 6 but what is right for my family is not right for all families. We have put the kids in a stroller and locked the seat belt so they couldn’t get out. Basically the same difference….only the leash gives them more freedom.
Jean says:
I so had to laugh at this post! My first reaction was just like Heather’s-never for me! Then I recalled the reality of my daughter’s toddlerhood. She required 0xygen 24/7 so was tethered to a tank at all times. I would make a tape tab around the tubing and pin it to her shirt so it wouldn’t pull on her face if she got caught. More than once, I stepped gently on that tubing to halt her progress. So, I guess I had a high-tech leash!
Lindsey says:
This will be a depressing answer but probably true for other divorced parents so here goes: my kids would come back from visiting their dad with stories of horror about how he would let one of them sit on someone’s lap because of a shortage of seat belts, he lost the youngest at Disney World for about 10 minutes cuz he was walking ahead with his latest girlfriend and Ethan had stopped to look at a lizard and he would make fun of them when they would talk about not wanting to eat a hamburger with pink inside —- all things their conscientious, concerned mom would drill into them (not to mention letting them watch inappropriate scary movies like Chuckie)….. it was the worst part of parenting from two different sides of the country. I wanted him to realize that the message our kids were getting was that mommy cares about our safety, dad doesn’t…….divorce is sucky, don’t do it!!!
Amy says:
I thought the “kid leash” was ridiculous for the longest time. I even made fun of it relentlessly with my mom. We ended up eating our words when my daughter was born. She is ridiculously active, always trying to wiggle away (girlfriend is FAST!) and I really don’t see her being a big hand-holder in the future. She’s only eleven months old…I know it’s only a matter of time before I invest in the good ole monkey backpack. For me, it boils down to her own safety and our peace of mind.
Kayla says:
I’m not a parent myself, but I see nothing wrong at all with keeping your children safe, (aka, “leashes”). Those who liken them to treating your kid as an animal are. . .crazy to me. I’m sorry, but really, that’s just nuts.
An animal walks on all four and has a collar around their *neck*. A child is walking upright with a *backpack* on and a tail attached to said backpack. . .yeah, not seeing the similarities here at all. Not to even mention, why do you put your dog on a leash anyway?
To keep them safe because they can’t be trusted to listen to you 100% of the time. Hello, two year olds much?
When I have children, I will have no compunctions what so ever with making my child’s safety my number one priority. It doesn’t matter how tightly you grip their hand – fact is, they CAN rip their sweaty little hand away from yours, they CAN be faster than you, and they CAN then subsequently run in front a nearby speeding SUV.
I will take some fellow parental judging over that scenario any day of the week.
Emily says:
ABSOLUTELY.
Dianne says:
I was against leashes too, but my boys were both runners and hiders in shopping centres. I had a harness thing in the pram, but my youngest son would do some Harry Houdini thing where I think he dislocated a shoulder, sucked in his thin little body and he would slip out and start running away. I got a leash when he was about 2 years old and we were walking along a busy street near shops when he got down on his hands and knees and started barking like a dog. His 5 year old brother thought it was the funniest thing ever! He would not get up. So embarassing. I laugh now They are 19 and 16 years old now – we survived!
meoskop says:
I used one with my brother, but my kids were smarter than he was. They unfastened them the first time I used one. I had a friend bring me these sandals from China – when the kids walk, they squeak. So I could tell by the squeaks if they were nearby or trying to sneak away. Never had a complaint, people asked me where to get them. Check your Chinatown and turn your kid into a squeaky toy.
Heather K. says:
I grew up in a household with an overprotective, single mother, so I understand that side of it.
My hubby grew up in a relaxed, laid back, run around the neighborhood until the street lights come on household.
Raising 3 kids in today’s world is a lot SCARIER! We’ve had a few disagreements over issues with the kids & what they can do or how far from home they can go, but in the end we both want our kids safe. My hubby says sometimes I’m too paranoid, but he’s the one looking online at GPS watches for kids!
We never did the kid leash, that’s one thing we agreed about!
Having 2 daughters that were born 16 months apart sure made life interesting, especially going to stores. We just held their hands & had FUN! When our son was born his sisters were 4 & 3, so most of the time he was in a stroller or the shopping cart, which he didn’t seem to mind. As he got older we would just hold his hand!
Mtob says:
I used the kid leash for both my kids because the would bolt..seriously. We used it for airports,the zoo, places where the want to walk and not hold your hand. Nothing wrong with it. Most of my playgroup used them.
Adrienne says:
5 years ago I was totally Team Heather. But now that I have grand kids one who is 5 and the 2 year old twins, I am Team Mike full fledged. I can not wrangle all three kids it is impossible. I completely see them as being useful at an amusement park and other crowded places. Kids want to WALK not ride in a stroller or a shopping cart all the time.
Kristy says:
I had my oldest on the leash when we went to crowded places because she would run off and had no fear of strangers. It was an older wrist type that held us together with velcro. My next two did not run off, so no leash.
When the kids got a little bigger, I would have them hang on to my shirttail anytime that I wanted to keep them close and my hands were full.
Mia says:
How about this as an endorsement for backpacks…I was strapped into one when I was a kid and I don’t hate my parents because of it (and I lived in the doors unlocked suburbs with a social worker mother).
Honestly, I’ve always said if I have a child like me, they’re wearing one. There is a sense of freedom not holding your parents’ hands, she can be a big girl and walk on her own. I say buy it Mike and watch Heather stare at it enviously as you aren’t constantly contorting your back as Annie moves at a different pace (or direction from you). Your peace of mind and Annie’s freedom, seems like a good match to me. Um and let’s be honest, even if kids aren’t on a leash they’re going to occasionally act an animal in public, so pay no mind if she channels Rigby while wearing it. She would have gotten around to it eventually without the leash.
Lise says:
I thought kid leashes were terrible. . . until I had a toddler of my own. She hated to be strapped into her stroller, and holding hands only worked until her little arm got tired from being held straight up in the air. Seriously, would YOU want to have to hold your arm up like that for extended periods of time? So she got to choose whether to hold hands or wear the leash.
I didn’t use the leash as a substitute for good parenting or to avoid interacting with my daughter. I used it as a tool for keeping her safe and happy – just like I used a carseat, and a stroller, and a highchair. In fact, she got so accustomed to sticking with me in public that after she became a big sister at age 2.5, I could trust her to just walk alongside baby sister’s stroller and hold onto the edge of that.
Marie says:
I am old, so I had my children before leashes (leads). I have seen them of course. I always, always took the stroller and the older one would hold onto that. It’s a scarier, busier world now, so I am going to vote for the leash. But me thinks Annie wouldn’t allow it, so it’s probably a moot point. To keep your child safe and stop them from running is not easy as you know. Does she still stay in a stroller? I didn’t care how much they yelled – I kept them in. Well unless it was a screaming match – then it was time to go home. We didn’t go out as much as young parents do now. There were no malls where we lived, we didn’t eat out, etc. But it’s a mobile world and cars are going fast, as well as a crowded mall where it’s generally a nightmare to keep your child with you.
Good luck from Minnesota
Marie
Rachel says:
I rarely comment, but felt the need on this one. I’m a teacher and live around the DC area. This summer, I didn’t work, but stayed home and took care of my 3 year old…which meant a lot of classes, library programs, and museum programs. After nearly every event, I had to have a talk with my kid about the INSANITY we witnessed. I would bring her to these programs and spend an hours undoing behaviors she picked up. Parents around here NEVER watch their kids. Dance class is over-run by babies that crawl into the middle of the class. The older siblings that are in her class? They don’t listen. Big surprise. We went to a library program with a live performer (singer/puppeteer), and watched one kid pull a speaker, tripod and all, to the ground while another kid tried to steal the microphone. While the woman was singing and playing the guitar. And the parents were 5-10 feet away! (I’m dreading going back to work and having to un-do an entire summer.) Kids need to be taught to stay close, to listen, and what danger is. Leashes are a band-aid. It’s like saying, “oh, you can act like a wild animal, as long as you’re 3 feet away from me.” I understand that Annie is much younger than 3, but it’s appropriate to give her your expectations based on the situation. If she doesn’t listen, then the consequence will be to put her in a cart/stroller until she’s ready to listen. She doesn’t want to hold your hand in a parking lot, back into the car seat. No store. I’ve read your site from beginning to end. I know how attentive you were to Maddie and you are to Annie. I think you’re selling yourself short!
Emily says:
I WAS totally against the whole kid leash thing, adamantly so. But then my cousin had twins and the twins grew into toddlers. She said to me: “What am I supposed to do when I’m out in public by myself and they run in two different directions, choose which one of my kids to run after? How do I make that choice?” And I totally got it.
Still, when the father of the twins I babysit for handed me the kids’ “backpacks” (w/ leashes attached) to use on our walk to the park, I was a little bit hesitant. As much as I understood the need for the “backpacks,” it was still kind of embarrassing because I understood the argument against them as well. But you know what? The kids didn’t mind them at all and I did feel pretty secure knowing that they couldn’t run off at any moment. Did I get some judgmental looks and comments? Yes. But it’s a parents’ job to do whatever they have to do to keep their children safe.
There are always those people that abuse these kinds of safety “tools” by using them all the time or in place of more active parenting. But there are also those people that really just want to keep their kids safe in places outside of the home.
Katy says:
My son had a leash the monkey one, and he loved it, It was great when we traveled to Missouri one christmas when he was 15 months old and we also took our dog with us. We had a 2 hr layover in Dallas. I am totally for the kid leash. Especially at a younge age when they dont understand they need to stay in one place (Sorry heather)
Jennifer says:
There’s a book called “Protecting the Gift” by Gavin de Becker that is a must-read for all parents. It describes where a mother truly did lose her child to a stranger who was lurking around while she was shoe-shopping, so that’s the first thing I thought of when I read your post. I have a leash for my toddler and and I don’t hesitate to use it, although I get the stink eye all the time when I use it, particularly from non-parents. I don’t care. I’d rather be safe than sorry. I hope you check the book out, it’s invaluable.
dana says:
I’m in favor of it in certain situations. We took my daughter to the Grand Canyon with us when she was only 2 and she LOVED to run from us and I wasn’t taking any chances at all and we bought that back pack leash thing. Parents and non parents can stare all they want…if my child was hurt there or disappeared it wouldn’t be them that would be agonizing…
Kate says:
I was 25 when my I went to the Grand Canyon with my parents, and I’m pretty sure my mother wished she had a leash for me! Every time I even looked at the edge, she panicked!
Kate says:
A lot of people have touched on this, but I would just like to echo: I think use of the leash is situational. I don’t actually have a problem with them generally somewhere like the airport, an amusement park, or a really busy area of town, but I had a neighbor when I lived in Arizona who put her toddler on the leash at all times. Literally all times, be it to walk to the car before going out or walking down one building to the laundry room. Our apartment complex was quiet and had absolutely no through traffic, but I never saw him – a bright, sweet boy – off the leash. And that upset me, as a non-parent and someone who loves kids, because that’s not really what I think the leash should be meant for. Especially if you’re walking 50 feet to your car and your own hands are free, you know?
Jen says:
I see nothing wrong with a “kid lease” as long as the kid attached to it isn’t being pulled around by it. I think it would come in handy in those instances where it’s difficult to keep a hold of their hand (for instance, when paying for something).
Michelle says:
I thought the leash was dumb until child 4 who came out runnin’ like Jackie Joyner Kersee. I HATED constantly reefing her arm in the air holding hand. Her doing the screwdriver trying to get away put me over the edge.
Dawn says:
My almost 3 year old is a bolter. He sees something and runs as fast as he can. There is some monkey backpack/leash love in my house. Not all the time, it is used at the mall and Zoo or other crowded places. I also give him the option to hold my hand. If he’s holding my hand he gets to hold the tail/end of the leash.
Samantha says:
I personally believe that they are Ridonk. I mean.. kids aren’t pets.
That being said.. my mom apparently used on me… Im fine for it. I, personally, used my hand on the butt, and scared the bejeezus outta my girls with the stranger danger. I also told my kids while walking to the mall/store “dont ask for a thing”. Worked for me.
Hope says:
I swore up and down I would never use one. My little guy is content in the stroller most times and when he isnt, Daddys shoulders work fantastic. We also let him run when a store isnt busy and that seems to satisfy him as well.
All that being said – we booked a cruise for the end of this year and that very night I began having nightmares about my then 20 month old going overboard or dashing off and me chasing him straight towards the pool or something. (He has NO fear). Its not that I dont watch him like a hawk…but I learned very quickly it takes a tenth of a second for ANYTHING to happen. Soooo I bought the backpack leash for him. We will use it anytime we are on an open deck and he is not being held or in his stroller. I would much rather someone glare at me for having it and come home with my son then have something horrible happen.
Michelle says:
We put my oldest on a “leash” when he was just a bit over 1 year old. We took him to San Francisco and he wanted “DOWN! DOWN! DOWN!” but I wanted him not to be kidnapped by creepos at the wharf. We bought one that looks like a little doggy backpack and the tail is the leash part. It was awesome. He had no idea and thought he was experiencing the ultimate in freedom and I didn’t have to die from a panic induced heart ailment. Win! Win!
Karen says:
I’m a total fan of the leash in certain situations. Mostly at big tourist attractions, like the fair, the aquarium, places like that. I’ve never used it while shopping but there are times it would come in handy! My daughter actually LOVES her leash (it’s one of the monkey ones) and would probably wear it every day if I left it out for her.
Karen says:
As little ones do break away and run off easily and quickly I see a leash as simply being an extra safety precaution when they are young enough to do things like run in front of cars and get lost in a crowd.