There are two sides to every story, as they say, so I thought I’d throw in my two cents. First, I would like to present Kate’s remark from the comment section:
“I think the fear that Mike was operating under is that, if you didn’t like it, you wouldn’t be happy with it and might ultimately be disappointed in the result of what was supposed to be a really good evening for both of you. Ergo, he chose the thing that would make you happier so you could both enjoy yourself, though possibly to his detriment.”
Bingo. I was indeed looking to see if we could both enjoy ourselves even if ordered from the Large Restaurant. That was a very important thing to feel out, because the evening could have gone one of two ways if I had just picked my restaurant without asking:
VERSION 1: Heather magnanimously accepts my choice and isn’t at all annoyed that I just picked a place not to her liking without asking. When the food comes she smiles and makes pleasant conversation even though she likely isn’t crazy about her food. After eating, she continues to be sweet and kind because it is my night.
VERSION 2: Heather forces a smile when I make my choice, but isn’t crazy about it. When the delivery food doesn’t arrive on time, she remarks, “Well, I guess you have to expect the food to be late from such a large restaurant.” When the food comes and we are eating, she peppers our conversation with asides like, “Now I remember why I wasn’t crazy about this place.” After eating, she blames any intestinal problems that arise during the following forty-eight hours on my choice of restaurant.
As you can see, version one is far preferable to version two. That is why I needed to feel out where she stood on this. When she replied: “It’s not my favorite (sigh), but if YOU want it we can get it!” it became clear it would have been a version two kind of night. So I ordered from her place to keep the harmony and make it a version one kind of night. The irony, of course, is that I ruined the harmony anyway by stewing over the fact that we didn’t order from my place. Awesome.
Long story short, I think that when it is your partner’s night you should make it his or her night. And part of doing that means that you make your partner feel confident it will be a version one kind of night no matter what restaurant or event or whatever he or she chooses.
Oh, and about me eating Heather’s left overs… two things need to be mentioned. 1. I ASKED her if it was okay to eat them (by Heather’s logic if it wasn’t then I guess she should have said so, right?), and 2. I only ate them because Heather had gone out to lunch with her parents and not brought me anything back. Of course if we had ordered from the Large Restaurant instead of the family restaurant their gigantic portions would have ensured that there were enough leftovers for both of us!
I am working on creating an alliance with Annie all Survivor style. She supports me with my restaurants, and I support her when she suggests Chuck E Cheese. We will rule the house! Of course Annie will more than likely align herself with Mommy. I just hope they don’t vote me off the island.
From Heather – My rebuttal to his rebuttal is the first comment. So many rebuttals!
FIRST of all Spohr, Family Restaurant is where you took me for our second date. Nostalgia!
SECOND. I mentioned the leftovers thing because I wanted to show that you obviously liked the food.
THIRD. YOU WERE INVITED TO LUNCH MR. WHINY PANTS.
FOURTH. We’re getting food from Large Restaurant on Tuesday, alright? You can even order food with anchovies.
AND my post had a picture of Annie. FTW!
Okay, you guys are seriously the cutest/funniest couple EVER!
what’s FTW? =)
.-= Beth´s last blog ..Down on the Farm =-.
Beth, it means “For The Win!”
Got it! In my opinion, you both have a “good case”. HOWEVER, since Heather posted an adorable picture of Anabel — I deem her the winner! =)
.-= Beth´s last blog ..Down on the Farm =-.
I agree with Beth, the adorable picture of Anabel totally makes you the winner.
.-= damaris´s last blog ..Give us this day =-.
oh i thought it was f the world! whoops lol!
You guys are so dang cute.
Mike? Heather still gets my vote. Sorry dude. Come on now, she put a picture of Annie up with it. How can we not go with Team Heather?
Are there t-shirts yet??
.-= Issa´s last blog ..Monday rambling, because it’s what I do best =-.
Dude, islands have bugs. You are safe.
.-= Amanda´s last blog ..Angles of guile =-.
Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] says:
Men are funny when they’re on their period.
.-= Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing]´s last blog ..I’m still rocking and no one is knocking =-.
Mike, as a male, just know. Your wrong, always will be. Even when silly little things like facts come in to play on your side. Also Annie is so smart she will let you think you have an alliance, but know this my man.. You will be wrong.
Mike, What ThePeachy1 just wrote, is pretty much what I said in Heather’s post. Doesn’t matter, you’re the guy AND you’re outnumbered. You can align w/Annie, but I guarantee she’s got a hidden immunity idol or something & you’re hosed.
We have two girls in our house, my husband is hosed.
And I don’t care, there is no deal worth the hell that is Chuck E. Cheese.
.-= mamaspeak´s last blog ..Not Just Ruining Professional Baseball Careers =-.
Left overs are fair game in this house, so I won’t fault you there.
But if you were truly doing it to please her, and keep the harmony, stewing about it is a tad counterproductive.
And yes, Heather maybe coulda left out the big sigh, but if you want to be able to pick regardless of her opinion, then don’t ask her opinion! lol
And I can’t believe that this started controversy on teh internetz…for real?
.-= thepsychobabble´s last blog ..Conversations with a 2(and 1/2) Year Old =-.
Megan (Best of Fates) says:
It was close, but I’m gonna have to go with Heather on this one. If you didn’t want her opinion, you shouldn’t have asked for it. Though I would love to read about your subsequent Survivor family games.
I vote to hear it from Annie….where is an Annie video?
.-= Rebecca´s last blog ..Look What I Did =-.
That’s exactly what I was thinking we needed…Annie the Ref!
.-= Noelle´s last blog ..Splish Splash–Dance Recital 2010 =-.
nic @mybottlesup says:
mike shouldn’t have asked. if it was truly up to him, as it sounds like it was, then why would he even ask your opinion? why wasn’t he confident enough in his own decision-making?
heather shouldn’t have answered with her preference… because she said it was up to him.
in our household, i make the dinner decisions every night of the week except for wednesdays and saturdays. i LIVE FOR wednesdays and saturdays because i know that i won’t have to think about dinner. i don’t care if paul brings home happy meals from mcd’s or if he cooks filet… it’s one less thing i have to think about on those two days.
bottom line, both are in the right and in the wrong.
Mrs. Cline says:
ANNIE WINS! Best solution yet.
.-= Mrs. Cline´s last blog ..It’s been a long, hard week. =-.
I’m going to have to side with Mike here.
Even though I’m also a woman I can actually see our funny interaction ways presented here. We are very difficult to please.
Anna Marie says:
I love that you guys have taken this public.
Issa, There are t-shirts? I want a t-shirt! & I think Annie needs a t-shirt too.
ooh! I want a Team Annie Shirt!
.-= mamaspeak´s last blog ..Not Just Ruining Professional Baseball Careers =-.
I’m still with Heather, especially since your SF Giants just swept my Houston Astros for the second time this season! Of course, my stance may change depending on how my Astros do against the Dodgers the next 2 nights!! And Heather totally added a picture of Annie…That will always get extra points!!!
.-= AmazingGreis´s last blog ..Bucket list… =-.
My hubby and I hardly ever argue, except in situations like these. It is so difficult for us to figure out where to eat out! Where do you want to go? I don’t know. Where do you want to go? Wherever you like babe – seriously! Okay, what about (insert restaurant name here)? Ew – not that. Anything but that…and so on.
Maybe it’s a sign of a good marriage that we don’t have anything important to argue about, but it’s infuriating!
.-= Katie´s last blog ..Can you be a Christian and gay??? =-.
You guys are too cute. Apparently either way, you probably won’t be running into this situation again, I have a feeling!
Mike, whatever your accomplishment was, Congratulations!! I’m sure it’s well deserved and well overdue! And, I’m sure you and Annie will form an alliance on something, maybe not food, but I’m sure there’ll be something!
.-= Lisa´s last blog ..Letting It Flow =-.
Again, I think you’re both nuts.
.-= maya´s last blog ..Bumpy Ride =-.
Mike is such a wonderful husband that he just wants to make Heather happy all the time. That’s the only reason he asked Heather’s opinion because I know he is confident in his decision-making. Heather is a terrific wife, but she is also honest and true to herself, so when Mike asked her opinion, she couldn’t help but tell the truth. It was really a no-win because you’re so good to each other. I vote for both of you! Nice compromise on ordering from the other restaurant this week! xo
hilarious! heather, you are definitely right on this issue. i love your rebuttal- you’re right- any post with a pic of annie is FTW!!!
.-= erika´s last blog ..This And That! =-.
Mandi Bone says:
Sorry Mike but I have to go with Heather on this. I only say that because Heather put a picture of Annie
.-= Mandi Bone´s last blog ..Evie’s First Week of School =-.
Yeah, Mike, you blew it with the lack of photo. If people read through both sides and have to choose, they will ALWAYS go with cute. It’s a given.
.-= angi´s last blog ..Happiness is… =-.
I’m sorry Mike, I love you I do, but I have to side with Heather. Also Annie totally sides with us.
.-= Jen´s last blog ..Chase – Month 11 (and a half or more…whatever) =-.
You guys crack me up, you are so dang cute I’m still with Heather on this one since I am always in the same situation with my husband. If you didn’t want her opinion you shouldn’t have asked for it and since you did you should have gone with the restaurant you really wanted and not held the decision over her head after the fact.
Love you guys
.-= Lisa´s last blog ..Tackling Those Bad Habits =-.
Lol, this was so funny. You two are so cute.
I’m still going with Heather too, if only for the Annie picture.
Loving the domestics. My darling Luke and I once argued for three days over the fact that when I said “I dont care, watch what you like” I actually meant “If you were actually a good husband you would let me watch my show instead of watching wrestling”
It finally came down to one thing – men should just tell us women we are right and stick to it…because you know if we dont we will still be bitching about it years later.
.-= Ella´s last blog ..Happy Mothers Day =-.
Mike — you just shouldn’t have asked her opinion if you would later hold a grudge about it. By asking, you were admitting that although it was technically YOUR choice, you were willing to surrender that in order to make sure Heather was pleased with your pick. Why, then, would you be upset with her afterwards? when it was you who allowed her to affect your choice? you, you, you —
.-= Katrina´s last blog ..Christmas Present =-.
My comment may explain why I’m better off as a single parent, but even when I let the girls choose where we eat, I will exercise my veto power if their first choice will make me cranky. It was your night, granted, but since you gave two options, that should mean that either option would’ve been fine with you.
.-= April´s last blog ..Monday update: LotsOLinks =-.
no matter what, you are always right. this is the girl code.
I think I’ve switched sides.. now that I’ve heard Mike’s version.. I kindof agree that if it’s HIS night.. it should be HIS night.
um…. sorry, Heather.
.-= Karen´s last blog ..Shutter Island =-.
oh.. and.. Mike? Please tell me you didn’t have 27 diet cokes along with your Family Restaurant meal?
.-= Karen´s last blog ..Shutter Island =-.
heather wins! don’t ask the other person’s opinion if you don’t want it.
.-= MommyNamedApril´s last blog ..Occasionally I’m an Awesome Mom. =-.
Amanda M. says:
You know what? I’m gonna have to roll Team Mike on this one. The Annie picture almost swayed me, Heather!
Though I admit that when me and my husband have a similar conversation, if I just smile and say “Whatever you want, whatever you want!” he gets annoyed.
Therefore, you are both wrong and your penance shall be buying Annie a new pink dress. With matching hat. Don’t forget to post pics.
.-= Amanda M.´s last blog ..Manga Monday (cough): 100% Perfect Girl =-.
I think I switch sides too lol… Mike was only trying to make you happy exactly what a great hubby does! You guys are so funny. Love it!
Mike, you might as well throw down the sword. The women have taken over and judged. Of course H is right. Duh!
.-= Jenny´s last blog ..Mama Moments =-.
Mary Ann says:
Next time just order chinese. We still love you Mike, don’t take it personally.
Amy Collen says:
I still side with Mike on this but also think it is so freakin’ cool that you made this little debate public :).
LOL You guys totally crack me up!
.-= Nicole´s last blog ..Butterfly House =-.
Heather win’s only cuz (because) she put in a super cute picture of Miss Annie!
jessica b says:
I side with Heather. Bottom line, if Mike doesnt want Heather’s opinion, he shouldn’t ask for it. Heather had every right to GIVE her opinion since Mike actually asked for it. Had he not, it’s quite possible (at least this is how I am) that she wouldn’t have mentioned at all that she preferred the other restaurant. As a matter of fact, Mike shouldn’t have mentioned that any other restaurant was an option. He should have just said “This is where I want to order from and this is what I’m going to order. What would you like?”. The restaurant would then have not been left open to discussion and Heather would have just went with it.
Really, sometimes men bring on the drama all themselves by making everything sooo much more complicated than it needs to be.
Sorry buddy but I have to side with my gurl Heather. You really shouldn’t have asked if you didn’t want her to tell her opinion. Silly rabbit!
Yep. Still on Heather’s side. (Though Mike is still cute.)
Amy S. says:
Sorry Mike, Heather’s story had a picture of Annie.
I really don’t know who is right, but I’ve enjoyed the entertainment!
I still love you both equally. There, it’s settled.
.-= Deborah´s last blog ..I Scream, You Scream =-.
*snicker* I am so glad this stuff happens in other homes besides my own.
That said, leftovers are NOT fair game in my house. In fact, my husband ate my leftovers about a month ago and I proceeded to cry the second I found out (I was 8 months pregnant, gimme a break!). I think he learned his lesson, though.
.-= Alison´s last blog ..And how are you feeling? =-.
You guys are funny. At first I was team Heather, then I read the rebuttal. And then Heather’s rebuttal, and now I think you both have good points. So I will just say, having been married 19 years, not that it has really anything to do with it but, any meal Heather, that you don’t have to shop for, cook or clean up after is awesome. And Mike for the record, you should have had a picture of Annie too.
“I am working on creating an alliance with Annie all Survivor style. She supports me with my restaurants, and I support her when she suggests Chuck E Cheese. We will rule the house!”
^^Hahaha! Too cute. Promise Annie Chuck E. Cheese and she will agree with you on anything [when she’s old enough. ;o)]. I don’t know what it is about kids but they go NUTS for Chuck E. Cheese! =D
Anyhow (back to your rebuttal):
I guess I’d have to agree with you when you wrote: “Long story short, I think that when it is your partner’s night you should make it his or her night. And part of doing that means that you make your partner feel confident it will be a version one kind of night no matter what restaurant or event or whatever he or she chooses.” That is true. Sometimes there needs to be that sacrifice for the one you love.
And besides: “IT’S JUST FOOD!”
How about this? Since you can order from the comfort of your own home: “Order from both restaurants, so you’re both happy.” Huh? How about that?! =P
You said it yourself Mike, you wanted to have a nice evening with Heather, so you gave her a choice too. But then the vibe was ruined anyway. Plus, dude, how can you not remember the sentimental memory connected with the Family Restaurant? I still agree with Heather, but for the record, I think the insults in the comments suck. If I google how to type in funky shorthand and use really bad grammar, will that distract you all from the debate? LOL
My husband and I dont argue about things like this. He knows better than to make a decision about anything.
My only consession in decision making has been about pink. He has refused to have pink in any room except our daughter’s and I have let him have that. And that is ALL he has a choice in!
Mike, you should have seen that bit on the bottom of the register when you signed it!
“I am working on creating an alliance with Annie all Survivor style. She supports me with my restaurants, and I support her when she suggests Chuck E Cheese. We will rule the house! Of course Annie will more than likely align herself with Mommy. I just hope they don’t vote me off the island.”
This is the funniest thing… ever!
.-= Amanda´s last blog ..I Could Not Ask for More. =-.
Mike’s plan is hilarious. But he does not have to worry about being voted off. In my house, Husband is the only male and the girls want to take care of Daddy–not so much me. . . sigh
Oh, Heather… you gave Mike permission to eat your leftovers? Sorry, I have to withdraw my comment on your other post that supported you!
.-= Tracy´s last blog ..How I feel today =-.
Sorry, Mike, you sound a bit whiny here. So you say you want to make it a drama-free evening by asking her which restaurant she prefers, but when she makes it obvious which one she does prefer, you go all whiny-pants because she doesn’t choose the one you would prefer? Doh. That is like setting her up for failure. If she says she likes what you like, she will inevitably end up not having a good time or enjoying her food, hence making you miserable. And when she says that she doesn’t like that restaurant but the choice is up to you, you still give her a hard time. TYPICAL MAN!
You guys are so cute regardless.
Um, you guys are crazy. But I kinda like it….
Jodie Brooks says:
You two are hilarious! I love it!! Mike, you admitted defeat by the following statement, “So I ordered from her place to keep the harmony and make it a version one kind of night. The irony, of course, is that I ruined the harmony anyway by stewing over the fact that we didn’t order from my place. Awesome.” If it was your night to choose, you should have gone with what you wanted and reminded Heather that it was your night. Plus, Heather had a picture of Annie, which will make her win EVERY time!!
Mark (Dudge OH) says:
I’m sure the reason Mike didn’t put in a picture of Annie is because he felt the rebuttal was strong enough, without resorting to the emotional blackmail of a baby! ;P
.-= Mark (Dudge OH)´s last blog ..SI Article on Gareth Thomas And Coming Out =-.
From a guy’s perspective, that makes loads of sense. From a lady’s.. not so much. Cute baby pic trumps man logic any day! LOL
I don’t know Mike – if you look at the picture of Annie right above this post, she looks pretty wise and impartial. The taking sides theory might not work as you hope! And my advice for Heather, having been married to a great guy for 25 years now, is sometimes it’s better to not have an opinion – as in, “I don’t care honey, it’s your choice. No, I don’t have an opinion.” It only took me 20 years to learn how well that works! If you’re fortunate you’ll both have decades and decades to practice diplomacy. Regards. And by the way, Annie couldn’t possibly be any cuter!
You two are funny.
This sounds like something my husband and I would do. LOL! We are very mature as well
I still think Heather wins here. Yes, you’re playing the loving/don’t want to piss her off husband, but at the end of the day it was your special night and you should have just picked what you wanted! The pic of Annie didn’t hurt!
.-= Darcie´s last blog ..wiggle worm =-.
ah yes, choosing the restaurant. when the griffin clan gets together, the choosing of a restaurant is usually an exhausting and annoying and time-consuming ordeal. the last time we all went out to eat, i chose brio’s, an italian restaurant i love that we rarely frequent. i figured since we’d not been there together in like two years that it would be a nice place to go. not so much. my father wasn’t happy because an italian restaurant was out of meatballs, ergo, he could not have his usual spaghetti, and my brother picked at his risotto with sweet potatoes. he loves sweet potatoes. to top it all off, the wonder twins were kind of cranky.
.-= c.c.´s last blog ..bad brain radio =-.
oh! i clicked send too soon.
i gotta go with heather on this one.
if it’s your night to pick, pick and be done with it. go where you want to go. don’t let her pick for you. but if you do, deal with the repercussions. :]
.-= c.c.´s last blog ..bad brain radio =-.
If you’re fans of ‘King of Queens’, you might remember an episode where Arthur got called to jury duty. When the prosecuting attorney was talking, Arthur was thinking to himself along the lines “this guy is guilty as sin! fry him!”. When the defense attorney was talking, Arthur was thinking “anyone can see this guy is being framed! he’s innocent!”. So after reading Heather’s first post, Mike’s rebuttal and Heather’s rebuttal I am pretty much Arthur right now. Annie, your word will be the one that sways me.
HAHAHA awww I love you guys. My husband and I have conversations like this ALLLL the time.
.-= Kate´s last blog ..Almost Single Parenting =-.
I *love* that you posted a rebuttal…but you still lost
.-= Dawn´s last blog ..The List =-.
maybe when you get married there is no longer any such thing as *her* night or *his* night?
It is one mashed together version of harmony only a truly happily married couple can laugh about.
I for the record fully support still calling certain nights “his” night or”her night- in true matrimonial matrix style-
I am a big fan of the pretend independence we all claim we need so badly and can not function within the realms of.
Chuck E. Cheese is terrifying. Never go there. And by all that is holy, never bring a small child there. I am sure those Giant Mutant Chipmunks eat babies.
Y’all are just too adorable.
I think I may have to go with the “both right and both wrong” POV…and be glad that food choices, in your hands, are amusing blog material. ;D
Like I said – Happy wife… happy life. Mike’s a smart man.
.-= Me´s last blog ..Motherhood =-.