There are two sides to every story, as they say, so I thought I’d throw in my two cents. First, I would like to present Kate’s remark from the comment section:
“I think the fear that Mike was operating under is that, if you didn’t like it, you wouldn’t be happy with it and might ultimately be disappointed in the result of what was supposed to be a really good evening for both of you. Ergo, he chose the thing that would make you happier so you could both enjoy yourself, though possibly to his detriment.”
Bingo. I was indeed looking to see if we could both enjoy ourselves even if ordered from the Large Restaurant. That was a very important thing to feel out, because the evening could have gone one of two ways if I had just picked my restaurant without asking:
VERSION 1: Heather magnanimously accepts my choice and isn’t at all annoyed that I just picked a place not to her liking without asking. When the food comes she smiles and makes pleasant conversation even though she likely isn’t crazy about her food. After eating, she continues to be sweet and kind because it is my night.
VERSION 2: Heather forces a smile when I make my choice, but isn’t crazy about it. When the delivery food doesn’t arrive on time, she remarks, “Well, I guess you have to expect the food to be late from such a large restaurant.” When the food comes and we are eating, she peppers our conversation with asides like, “Now I remember why I wasn’t crazy about this place.” After eating, she blames any intestinal problems that arise during the following forty-eight hours on my choice of restaurant.
As you can see, version one is far preferable to version two. That is why I needed to feel out where she stood on this. When she replied: “It’s not my favorite (sigh), but if YOU want it we can get it!” it became clear it would have been a version two kind of night. So I ordered from her place to keep the harmony and make it a version one kind of night. The irony, of course, is that I ruined the harmony anyway by stewing over the fact that we didn’t order from my place. Awesome.
Long story short, I think that when it is your partner’s night you should make it his or her night. And part of doing that means that you make your partner feel confident it will be a version one kind of night no matter what restaurant or event or whatever he or she chooses.
Oh, and about me eating Heather’s left overs… two things need to be mentioned. 1. I ASKED her if it was okay to eat them (by Heather’s logic if it wasn’t then I guess she should have said so, right?), and 2. I only ate them because Heather had gone out to lunch with her parents and not brought me anything back. Of course if we had ordered from the Large Restaurant instead of the family restaurant their gigantic portions would have ensured that there were enough leftovers for both of us!
I am working on creating an alliance with Annie all Survivor style. She supports me with my restaurants, and I support her when she suggests Chuck E Cheese. We will rule the house! Of course Annie will more than likely align herself with Mommy. I just hope they don’t vote me off the island.
From Heather – My rebuttal to his rebuttal is the first comment. So many rebuttals!