As a father I was hit hard by the news that Josh Powell – the husband of missing Utah mother Susan Powell and the police’s lone person of interest in her disappearance – had blown up his house killing himself and his two sons. Though I know he was far from the first father to ever kill his children, I nonetheless was left confused and saddened. How could a father kill his own babies?
For the longest time growing up I never would have imagined something like that was even possible. But then, when I was about thirteen or so, a news story broke about a man named Ramon Salcido who had killed his wife and in-laws, then disappeared with his three daughters. The police went on a manhunt looking for Salcido and his daughters, and I was convinced they would eventually find them all alive. My parents, however, told me it was more likely that he would kill his daughters too.
“No way,” I said. “He may be a crazy person, but those are his daughters!”
From my youthful eyes there was no way a man could kill his children even if he had already done something heinous. No father – not even an evil one – would kill his kids. But I was wrong. In the end we found out that Salcido had killed two of the girls and attempted to kill the third.
As upsetting as the Salcido story was to me as a kid, the Powell story got under my skin even more. The reason, I think, is largely because I am now a father myself. More than that, I am a father who has lost a child. I can’t express how angry it makes me to think this man took the lives of his own children when I would give anything to have my Maddie alive and by my side.
I wanted to write about this event ever since I heard the news on Sunday, but while I have thought a lot about it and had a lot of emotions churn up inside me, I am afraid I still can’t offer any meaningful take-a-way about why it happened. Even though the world has taught me it can be a dark, dark place, I still don’t have a clue how a father could kill his own child.
Bec says:
Mental illness, I think, is the only way to explain it.
Kathryn says:
I have never and will never understand how a Father or Mother could kill his/her own children, I don’t want to understand! It makes me sick!
Jenn says:
I agree Mike…it’s so sad & unthinkable to so many people but Josh was obviously a very sick man. I feel so badly for the grandparents who tried to warn EVERYONE this would happen if they did not intervene. What a sad thing to be right about. What a lost of those grandparents!!!
This world can be a very dark place. I guess the best any of us can do is love our families & friends & hope for the best!!
Susan C. says:
He wasn’t a father – he was a cold, psychotic animal. He was a selfish bastard who was broken. My heart breaks for her family, for the judicial system that couldn’t stop this, for those beautiful children that won’t get to grow up. But, because of my personal beliefs, I know they are with their mother and I find some small comfort there.
noe says:
“Even though the world has taught me it can be a dark, dark place, I still don’t have a clue how a father could kill his own child.”
This was the phrase my husband told me when he found out about this guy. We have a 3 months old baby, and I can’t really imagine what kind of mind or heart a person must have to do such horrible thing… specially to it’s own child.
Meg says:
This story is absolutely terrible and heartbreaking . . . so much sadness and evil in the world.
Sonya aka Glam-O-Mommy says:
This story has bothered me so much too, Mike. It’s shocking and horrible. As a mother, I can’t understand it. As a person, I can’t understand it. If he wanted to kill himself, why couldn’t he just do that? No, he wanted to take those boys so no one else (Susan’s parents) could have them. Incredibly evil and selfish. I agree with Meg…so much sadness and evil in the world.
Stacy says:
Mike, I was married to a man like Josh Powell, or what we have heard of him in the news. A former shrink of mine diagnosed him as a narcissistic sociopath. Look that up, it’s a pretty damn scary diagnosis. I’m thankful each and every day that he has chosen not to be a part of our son’s life, because I could see him doing exactly what Josh Powell did. Those people are so wrapped up in themselves that they can’t see their children as people. My ex isn’t sad that I took my son away, he’s mad that I had the gall to leave him. It’s about what was done to him, not about what is good for the child. My heart aches for those two beautiful little boys.
Melli says:
I know…it’s maddening! I read it online Sunday & I was so sad. I’ve been following the case since it broke & never imagined it would turn out this way. I cannot fathom with Susan’s parents are going through, again.
Pattie says:
I’m a news junkie, and while so many stories upset me when I hear about them, this one had me almost sick to my stomach. The incredible evil behind his cowardly — and selfish — actions is incomprehensible. I can’t even imagine what Susan Powell’s parents are now going through in losing their grandbabies.
Kim says:
Most news stories I can distance myself from. This one I couldn’t. I was devastated for those 2 little boys. I know Josh Powell was mentally ill, but I still don’t understand why he couldn’t have just killed himself.
I read that the boys were beginning to open up to people, saying mommy was in the trunk of the car when they went camping shortly after she went missing. Seems like Josh may have wanted to keep them quiet as well. Those poor children.
Sabrina says:
Susan went to my high school. I didn’t know her, but I know 2 of here sisters. Denise (who has been on CNN and Nacy Grace and probably other news shows this week) and Mary.
My Facebook is constantly filled with posts from other high school friends. We are all sending our support, love and prayers to the family. We are all shocked and horrified by the news. Like you, none of us cna understand it. And, although I haven’t seen Denise or Mary since high school, I just want to find a way to help them and their family. I’m sure all of my high school friends feel the same way. We are all at an age where we have kids the same age as the boys. And we are all at a loss, because what can you do?
I’m also sickened when I read some of the comments after articles on CNN and other news sites. People can be so heartless … saying Josh was driven to this because he was being hounded by police and the media. I’ve read coments about how Josh was a “good father.” It makes me FURIOUS! And I hope the family isn’t reading any of those comments. I hope they are only surrounded by love and support right now.
GreenInOC says:
I try to remember that everyone does things with the belief that they are doing the right/moral/ethical/kind, thing.
I think that Josh Powell thought that his children were better off “with” him.
20 years ago I read the book, “The Enigma of Suicide” and I remember the author writing something to the effect that people who kill loved ones before committing suicide is because they perceive it as an act of mercy – the world is such a terrible place that they need to escape from, it would be wrong to leave behind people you love so dearly.
Sabrina says:
I think that’s a cop-out in this situation. I don’t think sociopaths care about the world their kids are living in. Josh cared that his kids were starting to talk about what he did. They told about mommy being in a trunk. They told about Mommy and Daddy going off when they were camping and only Daddy came back.
He couldn’t have his kids, so no one could. And, by taking them with him, they would never be able to tell on him.
GreenInOC says:
@Sabrina, my intent was to share my belief system and something interesting that I read. I am not attempting to justify behavior like this, just offer a perspective.
Sabrina says:
I know. I do. I’m not trying to jump on you. If you read my post above yours, I went to high school with Susan’s sisters. It’s very close to home here.
I just don’t care what his perspective was. It feels like these articles or books or whatever that try to offer up how these people are thinking, gives an excuse for him.
I honestly don’t think he loved those boys. I think he was a sociopath who isn’t capable of love.
I’ve read a lot of comments online from people saying he was just doing what he felt was right. I think it’s such a load of BS. I think he was doing what he thought would get HIM out of the situation.
Carrie says:
It’s so heartbreaking. I live in the Seattle area, so it’s a big local story and all over our news. Today’s Seattle paper had a picture of the grandfather sitting on the bed of one of the boys. I about lost it when I saw that. So horrible and sad. Many prayers going up for the family in this time.
Kristin says:
It’s to the point that I can’t watch the news. I found it upsetting as a youth when things happened to kids; now that I have my daughter, hearing of things happening to kids leaves me distraught. Like on Sunday, reading the news online, and I read about a dad who threw his 16 month old son off of a bridge in Rome, because his former-partner got custody of him. Why? Why? Why?
It’s enough for me to want to hold Claire and never let her go, the evils of this world…
GreenInOC says:
@Sabrina, I understand where you are coming from. We probably differ on what benefit a person’s perspective offers. I believe it helps us, at least me, in understanding people more – understanding doesn’t mean justifying or excusing – and doing what we can to learn and make the world a better place.
Susan says:
This is my exact feeling as well.
Madi says:
It’s sad and awful, but I think I can *imagine* the mindset. A good friend recently admitted that he considered killing himself and his children after his wife died in an accident. Of course, he didn’t do any of this and he sought help. But he was brave enough to admit that the thought had crossed his mind in the days following her death.
He felt hopeless and deep in a hole of depression and fear.
My friend was initially planning to commit suicide, but couldn’t bear to think of putting his kids through the loss of their second parent. There wasn’t anyone who could have cared for the kids and by ending their lives too, he believed he would be”saving” them from the awfulness of being an orphan in the foster care system.
My friend was in the foster care system as a child and he suffered awful awful physical, mental and sexual abuse and felt that he would rather end his kids’ lives vs. place them in the hands of a potentially abusive foster parent.
In the end, he just couldn’t hurt his children. It was because he was able to look deep inside and find a glimmer of hope and that caused him to keep living and he sought help.
But I can totally see how someone who is just a bit more hopeless — the person who doesn’t find that glimmer of hope or reason to continue — would go through with this.
So yes. I can understand why someone would do this. It’s just so sad and terrible and tragic.
Madi
Amy Stone says:
I too, once young and unknowing, could have never believed a parent could kill their own child. Until it happened in my family. My aunt and two of her three children were murdered by her ex-husband and their father, who also committed suicide. He shot the third child, who lay in the dark with her dead family all around her for 8 hours until she was discovered by his parents. She survived and fortunately has grown to be a beautiful young woman.
It is not something you can EVER wrap your mind around, ever. It has been 13 years and I still can not believe this has happened and how he could kill his own children. It hit me to my core when I heard this on Sunday regarding Josh Powell, I almost could not breathe, it brought back all of those emotions, that have never truly left. I feel immense sorrow for the family that remains, as I know how this feels.
Crystal says:
When I was in kindergarten a classmate of mine was killed by her mother. Even at that young age I couldn’t believe a mother could hurt her own children. There has to be some SERIOUS mental illness for someone to hurt anyone like that…but especially their child.
Gabby says:
I just read the story this morning, right after I woke up, and have been in a funk since.
How sick does someone have to be to harm any child, or to kill his own children? He planned it out and there was nothing anybody could do.
It seems like the boys still trusted their father enough to run ahead of the social worker right into his trap. What a selfish, horrible person.
Kristi says:
A “real” parent would never kill their children. This is such a tragedy all the way around. I am so tired of all the people who have killed their children lately. What is wrong with our world?
Liz M says:
I live in Utah, about an hour north of the area that Josh and Susan Powell once resided with their sons. You can imagine the news stories that we are hearing. We have followed this story very close for just over 2 years now – since Susan disappearing in December 2009.
I will never understand the pure evil that resides in this world, but that is exactly what it is – evil. I felt I was going to literally be sick when this came across our TV screen as breaking news on Sunday afternoon. I wish that more steps could have been taken to protect those young boys. My heart aches and the tears fall each time I hear additional details of this story unfolding. I pray for the loved ones – friends and family – of Susan Cox and those boys. That they may one day find comfort in their happy memories. I hope deep down inside that Josh Powell and his father – who I believe to be guilty and involved in all of this somehow – enjoy burning in hell.
stacy says:
I can’t shake this news story it hit me really hard too. I cant stop thinking about it and how someone can kill their kids.
Annalien says:
I think there are probably two types of people who would commit such an act. There are the ones who are really desparate, who cannot see a way out for them and their kids and feel that it is better to take the children with them into death rather than leave them in a world of sadness. And then are the mentally ill ones.
A friend of ours and her husband had serious marital problems. One morning before work they got into a terrible fight and something must have snapped in the husband’s mind. He pushed his wife out of the house, locked her out and then proceeded to shoot their two little girls and then himself. And the only reason I can think of is that he wanted to punish his wife with the ultimate punishment. It is something that I still struggle to get my mind around – that you can hate someone so much that you can do this.
Brittany says:
It is a tragic story all around. I am not in any way condoning what Josh Powell has done, he was obviously mentally ill. I do understand it though, he felt he lost his kids forever and the only way to end his suffering was to take his and their lives, because in his mind, they are together for eternity now. It’s a psychotic, control issue, and I believe even moreso now, he definitely killed his wife. I pray those little innocent boys rest in peace.
Nikki says:
I live about 20 minutes from where this awful tragedy happened.
After reading a lot of the stories about everything that has gone on and the fact that his dad felt no remorse or feelings when he was told what his son Josh did to himself and his boys…and the fact that his dad “claimed” he was in love with Susan…makes me kind of wonder with Steve Powell’s history did he push Josh to all of this??? I think there is a lot more to this story then what we already know…I think a lot of this has to do with Steve then Josh..but he never should have taken their lives..
Me says:
All of it, the whole story, is so awful.
My thoughts have gone to what those boys were trying to process when they saw their mommy In. The. Trunk. My stomach turns thinking of that.
Katie B. says:
Mental illness is truly terrifying in how it can change a person. This guy needed serious medical and psychological help. The grandparents knew he was not safe and tried to warn any and everyone, and what a way to confirm their worst fears. Not only did this father intentionally explode the house with his sons inside, he attacked those two precious and innocent boys with an axe (or axe like weapon). I screamed and cried when saw this story. Who the hell kills their sons in such a brutal and intentional way? He should have been undergoing intense treatment to deal with his mental illness. The courts should have realized that this father should not have any visitation with his sons until he has entered professional help. Mental health issues can change a person, can lead a person to do atrocious and heinous actions.
Praying for the Powell family. And I pray that Susan and her boys are together forever