Being a parent is tough. Sometimes you feel like the best parent in the world, and other times you feel like the worst. Further complicating things is the fact that these contradictory feelings often happen within minutes of each other! So with no further ado, here are a few of my highs and lows in parenting from last week – most of which happened way too close together.
GOOD DAD: I have been on a mission to get Annie to eat healthy foods, so I was very excited when I had an epiphany almost as brilliant (and crazy) as the one Doc Brown had when he fell and hit his head on the toilet. What if I steamed veggies in one of those microwave steaming bags, but also tossed a hot dog inside? That way the veggies would be flavored like hot dog, and Annie could eat the hot dog too! Sure enough, Annie went to town on both the hot dog flavored veggies and hot dog pieces. Even Heather, upon trying my hot dog veggies, told me they tasted delish. Best dad in the world!
BAD DAD: Heather then went to the ‘fridge, found the hot dog pack, and gasped, “You bought THESE hot dogs?” Ruh-roh. Turns out I bought the absolute most unhealthy hot dogs our supermarket sells. And fed them to my baby. Sigh. Worst dad in the world!
GOOD DAD: The next day I took Annie to the supermarket (not just to get healthier hot dogs), and was pretty happy with how I had dressed her if I do say so myself. Her shirt matched her pants, the whole shebang. I even tossed her shoes into the diaper bag just in case she needed them (even though I knew her feet wouldn’t touch the ground at the market).
BAD DAD: While standing in the hot dog aisle, comparing salt content, an old lady lurched over and waved her finger in my face.
“Tsk-tsk. No shoes on your baby? In public? Tsk-tsk!”
Initially taken aback, I quickly gathered myself and decided I wasn’t going to let this old lady pull a Simon Cowell on my parenting.
“I’ll have you know, Ma’am, that I have her shoes right here. That’s right. Right here in my…”
It was then I realized I’d left the diaper bag in the car.
GOOD DAD: With Heather gone on her trip to New York, I was placed in charge of the difficult job of caring for Annie’s often troublesome hair. Have no fear though, I put hair clips in Annie’s lovely locks when we went into public, and an old lady (not the “shoe” lady) even complimented her adorable hair when we were out to dinner!
BAD DAD: Upon getting home from dinner, Heather called and asked if I had remembered to use the detangler on Annie’s hair.
“Because if you don’t,” Heather reminded, “it gets real crazy.”
I won’t say if I had remembered or not, but I will post this photo I took with my iPhone right after Heather asked about the detangler:
Oh well. You can’t say I’m not trying.
Lisa says:
We’re never allowed to stay up for long as parents. There must be some rule in the universe that requires a bad parenting moment to immediately follow a good one just so we don’t get too proud of ourselves.
I like the steamed veggies and hot dog idea.
Elle says:
My husband and I have experienced the no shoes on our 2 year old but nobody has ever actually said anything because the looks they give us say it all.
The thing is, our daughter has shoes on when we go to the grocery store but likes to take them off (and we end up losing them and have to backtrack so we look like crazy people while we go up and down the aisles staring at the floor) while she’s sitting in one of those car carts from hell that are awkward to push and run people and grocery store displays over which gets us more dirty looks because we have a shoeless daughter who’s sitting in what’s equivalent to a bulldover. Not that I’m bitter or anything.
Tori says:
What’s wrong with no shoes? Seriously?
Here in NZ kids run around with no shoes all.the.time. and no one takes a second look. (In winter it is different, shoes keep little feet warm).
You are doing a great job Mike :o)
Jennifer says:
Shoe Lady, back off. (And here I thought only Swiss grandma types walked right up to parents and told them how to dress their children. I guess it’s universal)
Audra says:
Ten bucks says the shoe lady likes to be critical of other people because she’s got issues of her own (i.e. she’s a crazy cat lady who was at the store to buy $70 worth of cat food, her children are 40 year old ne’er do wells and she has somehow pinpointed their fall from grace to the day she took them to the store without shoes when they were toddlers). Don’t stress. You’re doing a fine job. Annie is happy and she adores you. ‘Nuff said.
Kim says:
The differences between healthy and unhealthy hot dogs is minuscule. I’d say good dad wins on that one.
Penbleth says:
Old shoe lady was both interfering and WRONG, little feet are happiest bare. And even if they weren’t, how is it her business?
heather says:
i am a childcare provider by trade, keep this in your back pocket for when she hits the talking back with actual coherent sentences stage
“Annie, I said no. Does this look like my negotiation face? If you want the negotiation face I can go get my notes from the bedroom as I have a list of demands I’ve been waiting to discuss. So you know before we start, scrubbing toilets and giving me foot rubs is on that list.”
Worked like a charm when I had 45lbs of crazy 8 year old coming at me this weekend… felt like the worst parent in the world for almost losing my poo over a barbie argument.
Kristen says:
Mike, I love when you blog and this one particularly resonates with me. I have 100 good mom/bad mom moments every day. With that said, I have to ask: are you saying “without further adieu” to be funny, or do you really think that’s what the expression is? Because it’s definitely without further ADO.
Mike says:
You’re right…. it is ado. Yikes! Don’t know why I’ve been spelling it that way, but it sure as heck wasn’t the first time. Maybe I should do a post Good Writer/Bad Writer!
Kristen says:
Haha, we all have those moments! For the longest time, I thought it was “for all intensive purposes” instead of “for all intents and purposes,” and I have a friend who thought “play it by ear” was “play it by year!”
Lindsay from Boston says:
Wait a second … it’s seriously not “for all intensive purposes”??!? Seriously?! I’ve said that my entire life! So much for being an English teacher …
Skye says:
Sounds like the good definitely outweigh the bad!
Jen says:
I do not understand this fascination some people have with putting socks/shoes on babies’ feet. I had my 9 month old out in 95 degree weather & would still get comments about his bare feet. Look, if I didn’t have to wear shoes I wouldn’t. Besides, he’d just pull off his socks anyway.
Amber says:
I don’t get the whole shoe thing either. It is so strange to me that people get so fixated on that.
Staci says:
Awesome. You’re a fantastic dad. Your bouts of what you refer to as “bad dad” are simply human being moments. We all get sign-off to fall into that category over superhero every now and again. Love the pic with the no-detangler hair. So cute!
Heather says:
At the Union Square market in NYC a couple of years ago, a little old lady walked up to my husband and started a rant about our daughter’s legs being in the sun – since evidently the parasol and cover of the stroller were not enough to cover her. He just stood there with a look of shock while I being the former New Yorker very loudly said sunscreen SPF 50 – go away. She proceeeded to follow us continuing her rant till I became very obnoxious toward her. To this day, I am still amazed at what comments people will make to parents. Of course, on the other hand – I work in retail and I am amazed at what some parents will let their kids do while they are shopping.
Bria says:
I can’t believe someone had the nerve to tell you off for not putting shoes on Annie. None. Of. Her. Business. You’re doing fine, Mike. My vote is that you’re a good dad (not that it’s any of my business either).
Jennifer says:
Seriously? Why is it acceptable to “tsk tsk” someone? I’d say it was nice to see a father out in public with a child-my husband was terrified of shopping with our daughters when they were that little.
Jenn says:
No worries Mike….Annie is going to look back and say she had the BEST childhood with the BEST parents…mom and DAD!!!
I use to work in a centre with at risk kids. These kids were between 3 1/2 and 5. I’ll give you an examples of not the best parenting….
Here’s one out of 1000 examples…. This one family had their 4 yr old daughter walk to school in sandles 2 sizes too small, no soaks on a COLD November morning. By the time the child got to school. Her feet were bleeding from the blisters she had gotten and she was so cold she was shaking. Seeing this broke our hearts considering we had just given this family 3 pairs of new soaks and a brand new pair of warm boots that actually FIT their daughter!
Of course we cleans up her feet and treated them and then once again put on new soaks and gave her new shoes. We never saw them again. Talk about poor parenting!!! So Sad!!
Everyone makes mistakes Mike and all that means is…YOUR HUMAN!! Give your a break….you’re doing a GREAT with Annie, just like you did a great job with Maddie.
How lucky they are to call YOU daddy!!
aubrey says:
I am shocked I never thought of the hot dog flavored veggies! My daughter will soon turn into a hot dog. And if I buy the all beef, healthier ones she will not eat them. She has recently learned to open the fridge and help herself to my stash of the dogs. Oh and shoes, she is known to lose them on a daily basis. Thank goodness flip flops are only $1 cause I buy a lot of them. I wouldn’t wear shoes if I didn’t have to either. and you shouldve looked at the shoe nazi and said something clever like well I left her jimmy choos in the car cause I figured they were too dressy for the supermarket. lol. You are an awesome dad. Annie is so very lucky to have you.
Amanda says:
Don’t beat yourself up – overall, I’d say you’re a pretty great dad!
monica says:
You are an awesome dad, and combed hair or not, Annie is just too stinkin cute!
Rebecca says:
Which is why I’m always on Team Heather.
But you’re doing a wonderful job Mike!
momof2 says:
All I have to say is what I say to my kids and their friends all the time:
IT’S NOT A COMPETITION.
Nicole now in the CO says:
It sounds to me like you’re doing a great job!!
Neeroc says:
I’d say you’re a pretty kick-ass dad. (And comedian – healthy hotdogs? Bahahaha. Sorry I watched a ‘How’s it Made’ on them once, if you get the chance, DON’T DO IT!)
Miriam says:
Trader Joes have the best hot dogs, no nitrates, I think the brand is Applegate – something with Apple…
Expat Mom says:
You do realize that if Annie had been wearing shoes, another old woman would have told you how bad shoes are for baby feet, right? Here in Guatemala, I used to get berated by plenty of strangers because I didn’t feel the need to pile ten blankets on my baby in 28º weather, as is the norm here. I was frequently scolded because he had shoes on, because he didn’t have them on, because I wasn’t breastfeeding, because he was wearing a hat, or not wearing a hat . . . if it’s not going to actually threaten her safety, who cares?! I don’t think you should count that as a bad dad moment.
As for the hot dogs . . . at least she ate the veggies!
Jess says:
Ive always haves wearing shoes, to this day. Currently right now I’m barefoot. I go barefoot around the house in winter. Dad has yelled at me since I was a kid. Now I can say “I’m 29 dad if I catch a cold I catch a cold!”
On the hair thing? Mom worked nightturn but one my kindergarten picture day she had to work daylight so dad was in charge of my curly hair. In the 80s My Little Pony was big and they bad these barrettes with them that had colored hair attached. Dad used that barrette with the purple hair (my favorite color) to hold my bangs back.
He was never allowed to do my hair again.
Glenda says:
Mike… you do what’s right for Annie and the heck with people out in public trying to judge you for Annie not having shoes on. And if she did, someone else probably would’ve said something.
Her hair… it’s curly…and if you want her to go natural…then let her. As long as it’s detangled…she doesn’t need clips all the time.
Kim says:
I was also chastised in Target one time when my twin girls did not have shoes on. Mind you, they were about 7 months old, it was about 100 degrees outside, and they were in those car seat carriers in a Snap and Go stroller! Still, the old lady couldn’t resist. I still tell that story to people.
Thurieyyah says:
The “bad Dad” bits are what makes you a GREAT DAD!
Marie says:
Good morning Mike!
If that shoe lady was older than me (I am 58) I totally get the shoe thing. We had our first child in 1972. As he started walking the doctor told us to get him walking shoes. So being the obedient parents we went to the shoe store and got him walking shoes. They were stiff and they were white. And I think they took 2 weeks of grocery money!! But….he walks great, he has no foot problems and no flat feet. I, on the other hand, have every foot problem in the world. It could be genetic or it could be the fact that in my family we all wore hand me down shoes.
So because I am old I totally get her comment. It’s the way we were told to raise our children.
I love the way Annie loves you. It’s wonderful!
Hugs from Minnesota
Marie
ldoo says:
Shoes? Who needs them? I don’t put them on my 14 month old, unless it’s cold outside or she’ll be walking.
Hot dogs and veggies steaming in a plastic bag? I tend to avoid that, because of the chemicals that leech into the food when you cook in plastic. But that’s just me.
And if Annie’s hair is “crazy,” it sure looks adorable!
Dawn @What's Around the Next Bend? says:
I don’t believe ANY of those ‘BAD’ dad examples… because as long as you are caring and loving Annie… you are being a better than ‘GOOD’, you are being the BEST dad Annie could ask for!
Mama in the Moon says:
Ughh I can’t stand the old ladies who love to comment on how you’ve dressed your children! I’ve gotten it many times:
“Their feet must be freezing without shoes!”
“Why didn’t you put a hat on those children?!”
“Those boys need coats!”
And like you, Mike, this always seems to happen while we are in a nice, climate-controlled grocery store, or something similar. I just smile and walk away, but it definitely irks me!
Elizabeth says:
You’re an amazing dad!!!