I include the above photo not to embarrass Heather with our hopelessly outdated costumes (we were Britney and Kevin, y’all), but to show how seven years ago I was impressively thin. Like Kevin though I have added some poundage since then, and see no sign of going back.

The scariest part of this is that statistics show people continue to gain weight as they age. This holds true even with people who exercise regularly! People who exercise regularly do gain less though. Oh goody.

So obviously I need to start exercising regularly to “gain less” as I age. Problem is, it is a lot harder to motivate myself to exercise these days. When I was a bachelor in my twenties I used to exercise in order to be more attractive to women. Now I need to exercise for my “health” and “quality of life.” Those are significantly less exciting motivators.

But I have to do it anyway and stop lying to myself about how much exercise I get. I need to stop saying stuff like, “I may not work out anymore, but I get plenty of exercise running after the baby all day.” Right, Mike. Like “running after the baby” is equal to an hour long cardiovascular work-out.

I also need to stop lying to myself about how gaining weight really isn’t that bad. I need to stop thinking stuff like, “When Annie is older I’ll make an awesome Santa for her!” or “For Halloween I could dress up as Orson Welles!” These are not satisfactory excuses.

It’s not easy to find the time to exercise though once you have kids.  I have a friend who gets up at five a.m. to exercise before tackling parenting and work. Yikes! I don’t like to exercise after sleeping in, let alone before the sun comes out. Seriously. Paul McCartney could be performing an acoustic set in my living room before dawn and I’d still stay in bed.

The other option is to be the guy who runs around pushing his kid in a stroller. If that’s how it has to be done so be it, but there’s something weird about stopping your jog to change diapers and pick up dropped sippy cups.

What do you and your husbands (especially your husbands) do to exercise after kids? I need help, because otherwise I’m going to be Santa Mike way too soon.