Back in my college days there was always one of my friends who got drunk on Saturday night and needed to be taken care of. Oftentimes the unenviable task of babysitting this friend fell on me, and it was exhausting.
“No peeing in the street!”
“Do NOT punch that officer!”
“Dancing on top of a moving car is a bad idea!”
“Dude! That is not food! I… I don’t know what that is.”
This drunk friend (full disclosure: there were nights it was me) was always on the verge of doing something incredibly dangerous and/or ill-advised. Luckily, by morning he would be back to normal and I no longer had to worry about him harming himself or ending up in jail.
I bring this up because – now that Annie is in her Terrible Twos – she reminds me a lot of those drunk college friends of mine. Unfortunately, as opposed to my college buddies, Annie wakes up each morning just as hyper and ready for danger as she was the night before!
Annie, of course, is many things my college friends were not. She is adorable, loving, and has never criticized me for listening to too many Paul McCartney solo albums. But part of her growing up and getting to be a bit more autonomous means that she is more capable than ever before of hurting herself or doing damage to the house.
Contemplating how she can turn her Dad’s hair even whiter.
Here, for example, are a couple of many “moments with Annie” today:
I was in the kitchen when I suddenly heard pounding and Annie’s little voice hollering, “No! Stop!” I immediately dropped what I was doing and sprinted into the family room to find her smacking our TV repeatedly with one of Heather’s shoes. Upon closer inspection I saw that she was watching “The Princess and the Frog,” and was smacking the Shadow Man (the movie’s bad guy) in hopes of helping Tiana escape to safety. Yes, this was totally adorable, but I’m lucky she didn’t shatter our TV.
Annie recently discovered she loves jumping, which is wonderful. Today, however, she discovered that what she really loves is jumping on surfaces such as our coffee table and couch. This lead to a close call where Annie nearly tumbled off our couch and only avoided cracking her head open because dear ol’ Dad grabbed her just in the nick of time.
Making matters even worse is that, like my drunk college pals, Annie isn’t one to listen to reason.
“Jumping on the table is not a good idea!”
“Annie jump! Fun!”
“Annie! Stop!”
“NO!”
Here’s the thing… I understand little ones need to be looked after, but the Terrible Twos need a lot more supervision than the Wonderful Ones. I am looking forward to the day when she become a little more aware of danger and her self preservation instinct kicks in a bit. That day is coming soon, right? RIGHT?!
InDueTime says:
The twos are nothing compared to the threes. LOL
Maybe in a year and a half you can exhale again. Lol
Andrea says:
I agree the threes are so much worse!!
Rachel says:
My thoughts EXACTLY!!!
SKat says:
Oh Mike, remember the twos because when the threes hit, you will be longing for those care free days!!
Mommy says:
Agreed. 3 year olds are 2 year olds who are bigger, more mischievous and more determined to try anything dangerous. The more you don’t want them to do something, the more irresistible it becomes. I have heard 4 is easier, but who knows. My hair will be completely gray by then!!
SKat says:
My four year old seems to be the same lol. And yeah, my hair is going gray. But my little one is becoming more loving which makes it all worth it.
oana79 says:
It will fizzle out eventually. And then it will come back again when she’s sick/bored/annoyed. And boy, you’ll think terrible twos were a joke ;-)!
Nicole G. says:
InDueTime is exactly right!
Whoever said the two’s were terrible hadn’t been through the three’s yet.
TonyaM says:
Um, yeah! Right!
I always say we just need a direct deposit made monthly to the ER. We’ve had fractured feet, toes, arms, fingers, and A SKULL. Just yesterday we received x rays for a possible tail bone fracture. (It wasn’t, yay!) As a matter of fact, between the two, we’ve had three sets of x rays in just a couple of months. My girls are fearless, and I’d put them up against any boy any day of the week. They’re also very athletic which is just asking for it.
Miss A reminds me a lot of my girls, so for the sake of her safety and your sanity, I hope sister can simma down now! I just wouldn’t count on it.
Cathy K. says:
I’m with InDueTime – personally I called 3 the terrorist 3’s because sometimes it felt like being infiltrated by a really bad army of one. The saving grace, 4 and 5 are really delightful.
Heather says:
At age 3 1/2, my darling child managed to get through the kitchen baby gate, into the child locked cupboard and grab the brand new ‘family sized’ jar of peanut butter. She then smeared it on herself, her sister and most of my living room.
She was unsupervised for approx. 3 1/2 minutes while I grabbed a load of laundry out of the washing machine and put it in the dryer.
A parent should be able to do laundry without risk of more intense cleaning required. Apparently I gave birth to a ninja of epic proportions.
My theory now is that “no supervision required” time is their age minus 1 minute until they are at least 26. That way you also avoid the above mentioned college age antics. Good luck to you both!
Mommy says:
Omg this story had me laughing do hard!!!!
Margaret says:
We have an almost-three year old who is intent on raising my blood pressure. My friend just told me the magical age is 4 (she has four kids, the youngest is still 3). She used medicine on the counter as an example, and said that 4 is when her three oldest finally had the common sense not to drink it. Hang in there!
Dorkaleena says:
My son is 11… I’m STILL waiting on that self-preservation instinct to kick in. His mouth… OY!
Kendra says:
My son is almost 4 and has had at least 5 black eyes because of his crazy ideas and boundless energy. Luckily, nothing serious has happened, but I feel your pain. I’ve said so many things that I never thought I’d say, like”we don’t put things in the dog’s bum!” They do grow out of it eventually.
Carrie says:
My daughter is 3 years and 4 months old. She’s really good MOST of the time, but I have to say 3’s have so far proved to be more “terrible” than the 2’s. Good luck my friend ;o)
Mommy Boots says:
I’m lucky that my kiddo is pretty tame – she’s very cautious and always has been. I had to comment because of what you said about Annie smacking Shadow Man with the shoe – Princess and the Frog is one of our favorites in the house. Every night at bedtime, my husband and I have to sing Nellie the Shadow Man song (the one where he strikes the deal with Naveen and Lawrence). Complete with hand gestures and “bum bum bum bum!”.
Jena says:
Thriller Threes are gonna getcha!
Susan C says:
ROFL !!!! So hard my sides hurt….. sorry.
I was in the kitchen when I suddenly heard pounding and Annie’s little voice hollering, “No! Stop!” I immediately dropped what I was doing and sprinted into the family room to find her smacking our TV repeatedly with one of Heather’s shoes. Upon closer inspection I saw that she was watching “The Princess and the Frog,” and was smacking the Shadow Man (the movie’s bad guy) in hopes of helping Tiana escape to safety. Yes, this was totally adorable, but I’m lucky she didn’t shatter our TV.
AngstyJen says:
Our daughter was fearless just like Annie at that age…she went down a huge bouncy house slide and nearly scared me to death. She’s 5 now and more aware of intrinsic danger…but she still really loves jumping off the couch/bed/arms of chairs!
Ana-Maria says:
Up here we have a saying; “The Terrible Twos can indeed be terrible but I would take them any day to the Terrifying Threes!”
Terra says:
Ummm…sorry Mike. Like many others have said, the three’s aren’t terribly fun…BUT WAIT until they hit 12 and decide to try to shoot each other with a bow and arrow!
Deb says:
As one of my friends recently said, up until they turn 4, you are on suicide watch – you just never know whey they’ll jump off the slide, run into the street, disappear, etc. After that, you don’t have to be so vigilent every second of the day, but you do have to remember that kids sometimes don’t have any common sense and they will still do stupid, dangerous things…sigh…as mom of 3 boys, I know I have a LONG road ahead…
Ellie says:
My theory is that the terrible twos aren’t named that because it’s the year the kiddo is two– it is because they *last* for two years. Mine were holy terrors between 1.5 and 3.5 years.
Colleen from MN says:
My daughter was capable of turning my hair gray WHILE being supervised! That age is terrifying. At least when they are three, they have a little better database of things that are bad and the scars to remember!
Jenb says:
Actually I would take those days in a minute over the teenage years. The risks get higher and the outcome can be much more than just a black eye or broken arm. Especially when they start driving. I always say that all teenagers make stupid mistakes, and you just have to pray that they live through thiers.
Marypat says:
Never thought of the comparison to drunk friends, but it is really apt. I’m way past this now…my daughters are in their twenties. But dealing with old people (my in their 80s parents) is feeling like dealing with two year olds or drunk friends. Apparently this never ends!
hdj says:
That picture is so perfect for this post.
This age can be trying but it’s so much about self discovery and learning about who she is and what she’s capable of that it was so much fun to watch as a parent.
So, this stuff will get better, but when you’re not worrying about her cracking her head open or breaking your TV, you’ll be wondering how you lost an argument to a 4 year old because that’s the age that sucked for me. (for what it’s worth, the trick is not to argue with her, but sometimes that’s easier said than done).
Jessica says:
I have a 10 year old boy still giving me heart attacks. Sorry! Recently we took a trip to niagara falls. The boy has NO fear of water and had no problem leaning over rails and running and being crazy down the walkway next to the rapids leading up to the falls. YIKES!!
Dora says:
The drunk analogy is a good one. I’ve been using the PMS analogy lately. I feel like I’m living with a 2 year old with PMS. Seriously, don’t look at her the wrong way or she may fling herself onto the wailing with big snotty tears. My “favorite” tantrum so far is when she screamed and cried when I told her not to lick the banister of the stairs in our apt building.
Diane B. says:
Sorry, but everyone’s pretty much right that 3 is way worse than 2. You’ve only just begun. At least you have experience with drunk college friends.
Jennifer says:
It gets better and easier, but, not for some time, I’m afraid. Like others have said, when my daughter was 3-4, I’d look back on 2 with wistful longing. But, now that she’s 5? Fabulous!!!
The one thing hard about 2 for me was that my kid was a super easy baby. Her answer to everything was, “Okay.” Her sudden interest in expressing her will at every turn was a bit of a shock. And it started right after she turned 2.
I will say though, 2 is sooooo cute and sweet. I miss that littleness! But, not enough to trade my fabulous 5 year old in and go back to that time.
Maybe you should consider making her bike helmet around the house?
janette says:
You could totally be writing about our older son. He was so terribly impulsive and fearless. Now that he is 4, he is just argumentative. I cant imagine what thatll be like with a girl.
Brooke says:
You just wait till she hits 3. Terrible 2’s are NOTHING compared to havoc she’ll wreak for you when she’s 3. Trust me, I wish I had had someone to warn me.
Carrie says:
I must concur with everyone else. We just wrapped up the 3’s with our twins. Oy. we barely made it out alive and with our sanity intact. I was told that 4 is much better. We are 3 months in and I have found 4 to be just as hard as 3 was.
Keep your sense of humour intact. That will see you through.
And drink heavily.
Ha. Just kidding. Sort of.
Carrie
karen says:
I have an 8 and a 16.
I was that cruel mother who would warn a couple of times then let them learn themselves. We’ve had some bumps and bruises but thankfully no hospital visits. We werent ridiculous – we had window locks and door locks etc – but they learn quickly that if it hurt it wasnt wise to do again.
The downside is 16 never fell off the roof, so he tinks its still ok to go and sit up there in the summer. Ah well!
Neeroc says:
My 4 year old daughter has discovered that she can climb up the outside of our staircase (you know that tiny little lip that sticks out past the railing?) Good times.
I’m not hopeful that 5 will be any better.