Each weekend my Twitter stream is full of tweets like: “It’s wine time, beeyotches!” “I’m so hungover I think I’m gonna die!” “Who’s got two thumbs and is doing some shots? This guy!” And my favorite, which usually comes as I’m getting ready for bed: “I amm si durnk rit new!!!!” The crazy thing about these tweets is that they aren’t coming from a bunch of college kids… they’re coming from parents! That’s right, seemingly mild mannered moms and dads. It got me thinking – is it appropriate to drink as a parent? Or is that something you should nip in the bud(weiser) once you have a mini-me or two running around?
I hate to come across like a Ned Flanders-esque teetotaler (“Hi-diddly-ho, Neighborino. I noticed you tweeted about imbibing the devil’s libation!”), but I’m afraid I will even though I used to drink myself.
After Maddie passed away drinking got the best of me for a bit until I quit for good. I haven’t had a drop in just under three years (not even at weddings). I like myself this way, especially when it comes to being a Dad. There is something so comforting in knowing that I will always be 100% in control of my wits should there be an emergency and I need to take action to help Annie.
But that’s just me. In no way do I expect everyone to stop drinking once they become parents, but I do expect them to drink responsibly in the presence of their children. That’s because kids watch everything you do, and when you drink in front of them you are modeling for them how an adult should drink.
So what is responsible drinking? In my opinion it is a lot more tame than you might think. It means not getting drunk or even buzzed. It means having one glass of wine or beer, and that’s it. You say two glasses? Okay. I can give you that. But how often are you drinking those two glasses? Every night? If so, do you really want your kids to remember you as drinking every night growing up even if it was only a couple drinks? Personally, I don’t think it’s worth it.
(One caveat… if you are away from your kids and they are in the safe care of someone else, I see no problem with you letting loose and having a drink or four if you want).
I’m not saying that if you drink a few beers in front of your kids a few times it will turn them into alcoholics. Of course not. Alcohol abuse is way more complex than that, and I believe there are a lot of genetic factors at play with problem drinkers (in other words nature and not just nurture). But I do know that how you present your relationship with alcohol to your children will influence their eventual relationship with alcohol, and you want it to be a good one, right?
Drinking responsibly all of the time doesn’t sound like much fun, I know, but parenting isn’t always fun. If you’ve taken on the responsibility of becoming a parent you need to also be responsible enough to set the best example you can for your child. Okaly-dokaly-do, Neighborino?
I don’t drink when my kids are around. I don’t drink much at all to be honest. The whole nature thing scares the crap out of me. My dad and his dad, and all his brothers and his mother. They were/are all alcoholics. I am terrified that if I give in. I will be too.
I do drink from time to time. Almost never if I have the kids. Usually it is on those rare weekends I have to myself. Even still I will be good if I drink 2 drinks. I just don’t really care to.
You are very brave admitting how easy it is to get lost in the drink, Mike. Hopefully other people will realize it too and will stop before it becomes an addiction.
I havent drank since 2010, through my own choice. My daughter doesn’t like sleeping anywhere but her own bed and I respect that. If or when she decides she wants to stay at nannies I might choose to go on a night out. My partner has the odd beer say at a restaurant with a meal and I don’t think seeing that will damage her.
I would drink champagne infront of my daughter (say at a wedding or something) but I would never get remotely drunk. It isn’t approprate or responsible.
It’s all about moderation and common sense.
I think its super dumb for parents to be tweeting about being wasted. If you’re not responsible for your kids for a night and want to have fun, knock yourself out, but to be emailing/texting/tweeting/whatever about how drunk you are is definately lame past college. Heck, its kind of lame IN college. Nothing wrong with having a good time when you’re not responsible for someone else, but do people think they sound super awesome the more drunk they are?
I agree. I have family members who post wild, crazy drinking pics every weekend. And as you said, these aren’t kids. They’re professionals, parents, ADULTS. I just don’t get it. I left that phase in the dust before I hit my mid-twenties.
Everything is a personal choice. I always had my kids with me…no drinking.
They’re older now and I must say, they really think they “know” what drunk is…and they have never seen me in any state other than the Mommy state.
My extended family has a history of alcoholism. Strangely, I rarely ever saw my own parents drink, but when I did, they were nasty to me, my sister and each other. I’m not a big drinker because of this… I don’t even want to go there. I live in the UK and grew up as a teenager in Germany, in both places there is a big drink culture. It just never appealed to me. I’m married to a Brit who’s family regularly drink with meals and have nightcaps, so I’m not sure I can really shield our kids from it without totally alienating ourselves. So, I abstain from drink. If I choose to let my hair down with the girls, far far away from home, I make my husband swear on all things holy that he will not touch a drop while he is in charge of the children. I can’t imagine being in a situation where my children were in danger and I wasn’t completely in control. And for sure, if I did get drunk, I wouldn’t let everyone know about it.
Melissa Hudson says:
Growing up, both my parents and my husband’s parents didn’t drink. But my husband and I both like to drink (wine especially…we even make our own). I find it has been a constant learning process (just like parenting) to know when, if and how much alcohol we should be consuming. Thanks for putting this out there.
While I don’t think getting drunk in front of your children is appropriate, I see nothing wrong with having a glass or 2 of wine or beer several times during the week. I think it sets the example of self control, and teaching them that you don’t have to drink to the point of stupidity.
Kim Davis says:
Yes, I also agree with this. I grew up in Canada with British parents who had 1 or 2 drinks most nights. And when we would visit my grandparents in England, a drink every night was a ritual, just like tea in the afternoon.
As an adult, I now do not choose to drink every day or even every other day, but I would not look down on those who do, even if they are parents. My Grandpa is 97 and going strong, a nightly drink has done him no harm! In fact sometimes I think it keeps him going.
Your grandpa reminds me of my great-grandmother. She drank a double shot of whiskey every night before bed in the nursing home. One time a nurse went to her doctor and tried to get him to tell her she shouldn’t be doing that anymore. The doctor was like, “The woman is 98 years old. What, you think it’s going to bring her an early death or something? Let her do it, it’s obviously not hurting her.” My family loved that, hahaha.
We have alcoholism on both sides of the family, and my husband has chosen to stop letting alcohol rule his life. We talk honestly with my 17-year-old about the dangers of alcohol and addiction. I sometimes have a drink, but I never drink if I am driving my son–not even one small drink. I know my husband is a wonderful father, and he couldn’t be that with alcohol in his life.
My husband and I don’t drink every night. When we do, it’s a glass of wine for me and 1-2 beers for him after our daughter is in bed, usually during a DVR marathon.
Our rule is that one of us is ALWAYS in control when we’re drinking and our child is present, no matter if she’s awake or asleep. I feel comfortable drinking 1 glass of good wine after she’s in bed and knowing that I am capable of handling an emergency if it arises. That might not be someone else’s opinion, and I’m OK with that. I am not a big drinker, rarely have enough to drink to even feel “buzzed,” etc.
We have nights where we let loose, meet up with other parents, and either walk home or cab it. On those nights, our daughter is with grandparents. I don’t feel comfortable drinking to that extent and coming home to relieve a babysitter or relative – if we’re drinking to the point of not being able to drive (I’d like to clarify that we do not get sloppy drunk, but 3 beers for me will leave me over the legal limit), it’s going to be when our daughter is not with us at any point.
I have to admit that I feel uncomfortable when I see or hear parents talking about being super hammered while their kids are with them. I don’t want my daughter to have memories of me in that state.
I don’t see anything wrong with drinking something you enjoy. My husband loves micro-brews, and I love good red wine (and some of his micro-brews).
I think there’s a difference between drinking to savor/enjoy something and drinking your way through a 6-pack at the end of the night while your kids are sleeping, “just because” or “just to relax.”
“One caveat… if you are away from your kids and they are in the safe care of someone else, I see no problem with you letting loose and having a drink or four if you want”
I agree and, personally, think that is the only time you should be getting drunk if you have kids. I don’t see a big problem with having a glass of wine/beer/whatever at night if you’re a parent as long as you talk about drinking responsibly. It’s all a personal choice and what works for one family isn’t going to work for another.
Growing up, the only time I really remember my parents drinking was when we went out to eat or had people over for dinner. My dad stopped drinking when I was in grade school and I never saw my mom even tipsy until after I turned 21 but I do remember many conversations as a teen with my parents about responsible drinking. I also have 2 brothers who are 6 and 7 years older then me and watching some of the dumb stuff they did while drunk really disenchanted me to drinking. I’m 23 now and I don’t have much of a desire to drink unless I’m at a party or with friends and even then the only time I have more then 2 is when I’m spending the night or have a ride. It’s not worth the risk to me and I think a lot of it had to do with drinking not being some forbidden mysterious thing when I was younger.
If the only way parents know how to unwind is by drinking, that’s the only way their children will learn how to do it. Hence the binge drinking problem among young people. Knowing how to relax yourself, to treat yourself, and to have fun is an essential life skill. Too often that’s just addressed by one tactic: drinking.
I agree with not getting drunk in front of your children, but at the same time, I think showing your children how to drink responsibly by enjoying a glass or 2 with dinner each night is also an equally good example. I grew up with European parents who always enjoyed their wine with dinner. It showed me that there was a way to enjoy alcohol that didn’t involve shots or keg stands. If you you don’t show your child how to drink responsibly, how will they understand? Not drinking at all in front of them doesn’t prepare them for what they will encounter in the outside world.
I agree with all of this completely! My parents also had some wine virtually every night when I was growing up but were certainly not alcoholics and didn’t get drunk. Since alcohol was never “forbidden fruit” for me, my attitude towards it as a young adult was more healthy than if my parents hadn’t drunk wine in front of me.
Now my husband and I are a lot like my parents were; we generally have a drink or two with dinner. Not every night, but most nights, and our kids see it. We are never drunk in their presence, even when they are asleep.
I agree! Parenting is about teaching, not shielding! If they don’t learn it from you, they will learn it from someone else, and do you really want someone else parenting your child?
I think there’s a difference between being drunk around your kids and drinking regularly, but responsibly. I grew up in a household where my parents had a drink or two every night with dinner, but I only ever saw them drunk when I was in middle school. The same was true with almost all my friends’ parents, with my relatives, with every adult I knew; you had a drink or two at dinner.
But that said, there’s something really unsettling about parents getting drunk around their children consistently. My aunt’s father (unrelated to me) died from complications of alcoholism. For years before he died, his grandchildren – my cousins – watched him get drunk at every family event. It really scarred them. When I got tipsy at a family wedding a few years ago (not even drunk, just goofy), my then-13-year-old cousin asked his parents if it meant I had a drinking problem. And that was just after going through that with their grandfather, not their parent. And now that some alcoholism has come up with my blood relative, I have to say, I am more careful a drinker than I was even 5 years ago – and I’m an adult, not a little kid.
Plus, I just find it kind of embarrassing when people – parents or not – display their drunken idiocy publicly. I hope these people realize potential employers might read their twitter. Or relatives. But that’s a whole other concern.
cindy w says:
I imagine you’re probably going to get some flack for this post (just because it seems you always do when you express an opinion), but I agree with you. I’ll own up to getting more than tipsy on the rare occasions when I’m away from my kids. But if they’re around? I almost never drink at all, not because I’m a prude, but because Mommy doesn’t get a Hangover Day. They’re still going to jump on me at 7 a.m. no matter what I did the night before. And you know, if I can’t lie in bed until noon, then crawl out of bed and head to the nearest KFC drive-thru for breakfast? It’s just not worth it to me.
I completely agree with you Mike. As soon as Kevin and I started talking about having a baby for the first time, I gave up drinking completely. (I used to be able to drink Jack like a man and could out-drink anyone, anywhere, anytime.)
But the word ‘baby’ entered my vocabulary and it was like “poof”, no more drinking at all.
That’s just what is right for me. And I do see a lot of the same type of posts on Facebook from ‘friends’ who have children.
I had this conversation the other day actually and absolutely agree with what you’re saying Mike. The one point that was brought up, however, was eliminating the ‘taboo’ of drinking. Although teenagers will do what teenagers do, I do think us as parents having the occasional beer or glass of wine in front of your kids helps show what is socially acceptable. Especially imperative in the states where they may graduate from college before they are legally allowed to consume alcohol themselves.
Im with you mike. I’m 29 & never had a drink ever. I just don’t see the point. Never have. I just this year started letting beers be served at my parties…which is probably why no one stays past 8pm haha. Next time hard liquor as long as they have a ride home. I know, I’m such a fuddy duddy (sp?)
My dad died in August 2005 and the first Thanksgiving without him was just hard. I drank and drank and drank away the dayaway and was drunk in front of my kids and passed out on the couch by the time early evening arrived. They cried worried about me and I was so ashamed and embarrassed the next morning after I realized the impact. I vowed to never drink like that in front of my kids ever again and to lean on my family for support during my loss and their loss instead of a bottle; it was so hard but I was able to for them.
Now almost 7 years later and as teenagers I still have kept that vow to myself with them. I might endulge in a glass or two of wine on the weekend, but self control it is for me so that they can see acceptable and responsible drinking from me. No shots and beer pong at our house either.
My husband and I might go out with friends on the weekend to dinner or a show and indulge in a little extra wine or beer, but never in front of the kids and only knowing that they are not with us and are being cared for at home and are safe.
Each of my parents grew up (in the 1950’s) with a parent with alcoholism and, probably as a direct result of that, both of them are very light and occasional drinkers (as in a few glasses of wine or a couple of beers annually, respectively). There is one photo of my father laughing and drunk in my playpen, in our house, long after my one year old self was in bed but I have never seen either of my parents so much as buzzed.
I do have, and have had friends, who grew up with active alcoholism in the house and I know one of them did start drinking heavily by the age of 9. My friends and cousins who are parents do as you do: an occasional drink or beer on the weekends after the squirts are in bed, and occasionally more if out for the night without the kids.
Sonya aka Glam-O-Mommy says:
Mike, as always, I think you are awesome. I couldn’t have said this better myself. I’ve never been a huge drinker, although I did drink some when I was younger socially. Giving up alcohol was therefore really easy to do when I was pregnant. I’ve drank rarely since then. Once or twice a year, I might enjoy a margarita at dinner sans kid. Once or twice a year, I might open a bottle of wine at home, after Sophie goes to bed and enjoy a glass. But that’s it. The way you talk about wanting to feel in control and ready to respond in case Annie needs you? I like that feeling too…and I never really liked feeling out of control when I did drink years ago. I’m not saying that Sophie will never see me or my husband have a drink (J doesn’t drink much either), but it will be the exception, not the rule. I know some people who have alcohol for the adults at kids’ birthday parties and I think that’s highly inappropriate! If that makes me a fuddy-duddy teetotaler, then I’m happy to be in the club with you.
Mike, I definitely agree with you on one level, you should model for your kids what you want them to do. On the other hand, there was a lot of alcoholism in my family, and my father was a recovering alcoholic. He quit when my brother was born, so none of us ever grew up around it. The problem was my mother was a one woman temperance movement. Drinking was strictly prohibited. So as a teenager, I couldn’t wait to get trashed. There was no moderation. So while I completely understand your choice, and my fathers choice and commend you for it, I also see the importance of exposing children to what responsible drinking is. Just don’t make it a huge taboo.
I’m half-French, and my dad drinks wine every night. I never once thought anything of it growing up, and in fact, didn’t really drink at all until after I turned 21.
Showing that alcohol is not something forbidden also takes the mystery out if it. I had no desire as a teenager to get drunk, but friends of mine who were told that alcohol was this horrible thing were more likely to drink and drink to get drunk. And now, I really enjoy drinking wine. It’s more of a cultural thing than a means to an end.
Totally agree with you! 100%!
I don’t think having a drink in front of your kids is bad; however, growing up with an alcoholic dad who I couldn’t rely on to pick me up from places, I know first hand how important limiting your drinking is.
I have no kids of my own, but as I was growing up, my parents didn’t drink much. Liquor wasn’t kept in the house at all until I was 18, and even now, we have a small corner of one shelf of a bakers rack that houses alcohol, and that’s it- essentially it’s enough to entertain a small dinner party for a night. Even though my mom can drink, she didn’t (with the exception of a beer on the 4th of July or a glass of wine at Christmas) but she never wanted to present that image to her kids. I won’t say I didn’t try my luck as a teenager, but it was never overboard, and I always knew and respected my limits. Even now that I am in my early 20’s, I don’t really enjoy wild and crazy partying or getting drunk just for the sake of it because I have seen that can enjoy myself without it. Even my brother who is only 14 understands the effects of alcohol and has a respect for it as well (not that he’ll get to try it for a long time) because he’s seen how our mother handles it, especially compared to her relatives. I have one aunt in particular who is very much the parent Mike was describing, but worse. Ever since her kids were infants, sometimes within a week of their birth, she’d be out at the bars again, and she can easily put a bottle or two away in one night. I’m not anti-alcohol at all, but her influence on her kids has lead to many a binge for her oldest children who know they can’t and won’t get into trouble because it’s what mom does. The way a parent uses alcohol around their children is incredibly important to how they’ll treat it later.
I agree 100%! I seldom drink in front of my kid, and if I do, it’s one drink. The only time since he’s been born that my husband and I have allowed ourselves more than one drink was when our son was staying with my mom. But I’m not a huge drinker to begin with – I got all that out in college.
If you have just one drink, you shouldn’t be driving. So what happens if your child is injured and you need to take them to the er? Both parents have had a couple (or few) glasses of wine that was ok in the moment but now can’t even drive their own kid to the er and have to call an ambulence and explain why they had to call and couldn’t drive their own kid to the hospital. Because they had been drinking. Also, even if your young child is spending the night as a friends house and they either decide to come home or hurt themselves and want to come home or fell ill and need to come home, but you can’t go pick them up becuase you decided heck the kid is gone, lets drink up! How do you explain to the parent that you can’t come get your own kid because you are drunk? Being a parent means being responsible 24/7 365 at all times! Whether your kid is there or not, you are still responsible and if they need you, you need to be able to be there for them. If you choose to have children, do it when you are ready to hang up the party hat! If you want to party still, then do it and have children later. Its choices. So no, in America, having two glasses of wine in the evening means you are not fit to drive. So remember that. I would never allow myself to be in that position.
I agree with everyone who mentioned the forbidden fruit theory. I know a lot of kids that went batsh*t crazy with the booze in their teens and early 20s because it was a taboo subject at home and their parents tried to shield them. I grew up in a house where alcohol was around…we’ve got a wine cellar, always have beer and a liquor cabinet. Its abundant. However, neither of my parents have been drunk in front of me. They’ve shown an example of moderation and enjoyment versus puking and kegstands.
I think the trick is finding that happy medium where the child is exposed to alcohol but not alcoholism. You can drink, but you don’t NEED to is the ideal for me. My parents love wine, but if it was all gone tomorrow, they’d be fine too. That’s the kind of example I’d aspire to if I had kids…it sure worked with me.
But good for you for caring enough to think it through…it means you’re consciously parenting, and there’s nothing better than that.
Totally agree with Emerson…I saw so many people in college going overboard because their parents had made alcohol taboo. My parents had a drink occasionally before dinner (usually on the weekends) and when we had a big dinner I was allowed as a teenager to have about 2-4 sips of wine or beer). I never thought alcohol was a big deal and never overdid it in college. Of course I like to be in control and that might have more to do with it! Now I have a glass of wine with dinner a few times a week if it fits with the meal. I’m trying to teach my son that he can be responsible about it.
I didn’t know how much my dad loved wine until I was 25. Growing up there was an occasional bottle of wine or I kid you not one can of beer. Which looking back was just smart. As soon as I hit highschool everyone was pouring out their parents’ booze and replacing with water. Not an option for me cuz you’d actually be able to tell the difference in a bottle of Chardonnay. I did accidentally chug a glass of wine at my dad’s 40th when I was 5 cuz I thought it was just rotten apple juice but other than that not seeing my parents drink and not having it around meant I just didn’t see the need for drinking ever. Now college,…that’s a way different story
Excellent post Mike. Growing up in a household of non-drinking parents, I never had knew what the big deal was. To this day, it’s not something that we partake in often. Most of our friends don’t drink, so never a need to have a reason to socialize with drinks. I think that there are more non-drinkers in the USA than media wants to portray. Just don’t take away my diet colas.
Totally agree! Great post, Mike!
Thank you so much for posting this unpopular opinion. I just had an argument over this very issue, and it is refreshing to see someone agree that it is a bigger issue. I couldn’t agree more. Thank you, thank you, thank you! Great post.
I drink very rarely – just because I don’t really like the taste of alcohol unless it is tarted up with various fruity flavors. And now that my niece and nephew are living with me because their mom (my sister) is an alcoholic loser, I drink even less. I just don’t think they need to worry about me getting drunk and getting tossed in jail which was a fairly common occurrence when they lived with their mom. They are 16 and 17, so I’ll have plenty of time to drink more frequently (should I desire) once they graduate from high school and move out.
Growing up, both of my parents were severe alcoholics, and though my mom is sober now and has been for ten years, it still absolutely had a tremendous impact on me then and now.
If you feel the absolute need to drink one or two glasses of beer/wine every night, then you have a problem. Period.
Your opinion is obviously colored by your childhood. I am sorry your had to endure parents who were alcoholics, but one or two drinks a night does not automatically indicate a “problem”. For many European cultures, a drink or two with dinner is standard. That much is not enough to intoxicate you, and if you are a drunk, you won’t be stopping at one.
Bianca S says:
I agree with you both; nobody NEEDS to drink a glass of wine EVERY night and if people have serious problems only drinking once or twice a week or less then they need to look at themselves. HOWEVER, I do agree that there is a midway point between “teetotaller” and “total drunkard” and that it is important for kids to be able to see this.
Well said, Mike. I rarely drink (two drinks in 24 months and counting), mostly because I don’t want to tempt fate/genetics. My dad has been sober almost 20 years now, but the years when he did drink indelibly shaped how I feel about alcohol and drinking. So for me, it’s just easier not to drink.
My husband and I both drink in front of our kids – a few times a week, a beer or a glass of wine. We try to model good behavior and talk to our kids about drinking responsibly. When we go out to dinner, only one of us will have a second drink and the other will drive. We tell the kids that it is easy to be impaired while drinking and not know it. My parents drank in front of me when I was growing up, but their rules were similar to mine. They drank responsibly and taught me that it’s OK for adults to drink, as long as they are ADULT about it.
Bianca S says:
I agree with you, Mike. My parents drink more than they should (can easily put away a bottle or two of wine a night between the two of them) and after a couple of “let’s get roaring drunk just to see what it feels like” type experiences (i.e. you can count the number on one hand), it has put my sister and I off completely. I drink only at the weekends (and only then maybe a glass a night tops) and my husband is the same. My sister is still a medical student so she still drinks a bit more but she definitely doesn’t go all out and is happy to stay on the soft drinks mostly. We’ve definitely learned from our parents’ example. However, my parents were also offering alcohol to us to try from when we were about 12 (if we ever asked for it) – it was never deemed a forbidden or refused substance and I think that, too, counts as responsible drinking as it helps to demystify the stuff. However, I live in France (but am British and was raised in England) so I appreciate that this approach to drinking in the home has very different repercussions in the US.
I really enjoyed this blog entry. I feel exactly the same way Mike. My husband and I very rarely drink, even when we have those even rarer (is that even a word) nights out without our 3 kids. But when we do, it’s usually a part of a situation where our kids will be. We have a child about to start middle school and fortunately, she is comfortable asking us questions about everything and she has seen the behavior of my mom (an alcoholic) and my cousins and siblings (social drinkers) and me and has picked up on those behaviors and questions me about them.
You are so right, kids watch everything you do. So remember that when you’re quick to jump or drink.
You’re probably going to take some heat for this, I remember to well the Momtini controversy, but I agree with you 100%. I’d trust you with my kids.
My parents were alcoholics growing up. I mean, they were partiers when they got together with their friends. You know, typical 70’s-80’s parents. I remember my parents being hungover on occasion, and you know, honestly, I’m not a huge drinker. I do like my libations, and I see nothing wrong with drinking a beer or glass of wine in front of your kids. I learned drinking responsibly, even though I grew up around a moderate amount of alcohol. I think that hiding alcohol from them isn’t healthy either. If you treat it like a responsible adult would, most likely, your kids will follow suit. That said, yes, I think that getting hammered in front of your kids is inappropriate. Your kids don’t need to see that.
I’m generally inclined to agree. There’s truth to the fact that drinking responsibly in the home reduces the taboo factor when kids get older (though I think that only fully applies if you’re also letting your kids try things when they hit about 16). However, my only memories of my dad growing up all involve beer. I don’t think I ever saw him drunk, but I remember him always having a beer in his hand. Similarly, my mom always came home from work and had a glass of wine. For the longest time I thought that adults had to drink after work to be able to unwind, which is not a healthy idea for a young person to have about alcohol.
Frankly, I never got the whole Amercians’ Obsession With Alcohol thing, (and I am an American, although I live part of each year in France). So many Americans seem to have such a hard time with moderation: people are either freaking out drunk or freaking out that no one should drink ever ever ever if they have children omg ever. Neither really appeal to me, and I don’t think either is especially healthy to model to children — one for obvious reasons, the other for making it more enticing because it’s forbidden. When I’m home in the states, I’ll have a drink or two a month; usually margarita night with the girls. In France we drink a little more — we’ll each have a glass of wine with dinner a few nights a week. My husband has never been drunk in his life. I was once in grad school and said never again (and meant it). Whether we’re having a drink or two a month or a drink or two a week we never have more than one glass a night. We just…don’t see the point. Shrug. I think we drink a lot less than people in both countries. I have many alcoholic family members, although not immediate family, and their behavior has turned me off to finding alcohol especially amazing or enticing.
I have seen the pictures as proof that before I was born (nearly 30) that my parents certainly enjoyed a drink or four. But my mother agrees with you 1000 %. She has said that the year before I was born she decided as a parent she was going to be on call 24/7 and never ever wanted to not be able to drive to my sister and I or help us if there was an emergency. When I was small I recall my father having a beer after work, but when I was around 10 my Dad adapted a healthier lifestyle and began a exercise nut and has not had a drink in twenty years. My house in high school was not not the house that you go to to raid the parents liquor cabinet because there was none there. That’s how they felt.
I think there is here in America a bit of a stigmata about drinking and not enough education about alcohol because the worst thing you can tell someone is don’t drink because then they want to even more. I was taught that there was nothing wrong with having a drink here and there but that you have to be responsible. No driving, no binge drinking and hangovers are no fun( learned that one the hard way)
So many ppl on fb and twitter have the most asinine status’s and are so immature. I wonder all the time why people decide to share half the stuff they do with family, friends, co workers and strangers. But hey its’s their page so they have that right.
I do know that certain businesses have taken to looking at social networks to check out the people who work there and potential hires. I don’t really approve of this practice, but its not worth losing a potential job over your miami trip photos.
Apologies for any typos and writing such a long comment.
My husband and I will will drink one or two glasses of wine in front of our children. Even when we go out without the kids we never drink more than one or two glasses of wine. Both of us are always fully able to function under any sort of emergency.
I don’t see anything wrong with drinking this amount in front of our kids. I grew up this way and have never in my life had enough to drink that I vomited (which I am terrified to do), or had a hangover.
I believe drinking is like any other behaviors we want to teach our kids. We need to be the best models we can be. Want kids to eat vegetables, then eat vegetables. Want kids to learn the importance of healthy living, then exercise, eat well and turn off the tv.