9/12/08
Dear Emfamil:
First off, I want to thank you for creating the formula that keeps my baby alive. That is cool and stuff because I really love my baby.
Nonetheless…
With the above said I regret to inform you that I am not a huge fan of how your company makes this product. Please indulge me long enough to make a few brief complaints.
Complaint #1: Why is a 13 ounce can of baby formula twelve dollars more than a 16 ounce can of iced tea mix? I realize baby formula is more life sustaining than iced tea mix, but is it worth twelve dollars more (for less of a product)? There is NO WAY that your product is worth 80% more than the iced tea mix. What I am alleging is that you are ripping us off, and I got news for ya…new parents? We are mostly broke and living from check to check. Just sayin’. Most of us have mortgages to pay (not us…we aren’t even there yet) and 401ks that won’t do shit for us for a few more decades.
Complaint #2: I am tired of waiting fifteen minutes per purchase of your formula for the store clerks to A) scrutinize me until they are convinced that I am not a drug dealer, and B) pull a can of this stuff from behind lock and key while the ten people in line behind me glare at me like I am the ultimate A-hole.
Complaint #3: Last night, as I opened a can of formula, the aluminum top sliced into my thumb so severely that I had to beg my wife not to take me to the hospital. As I cried/whined my wife called me a wuss and showed me her C-section cut. I then said, “Okay, tough gal. We still need to do something about the sea of blood pooling on the floor.” I then sat down to avoid passing out.
Anyhoo..
I have since had a gigantic band-aid on my my sore as heck thumb. I don’t dare open the band-out though, because I fear stitches. LONG STORY SHORT….you are expensive, fear I am a drug dealer, and threaten to kill me. So you suck!!
Sincerely,
One Frustrated Dad
carrie says:
Totally agree. I think it is more expensive than drugs. I used to savor every last drop.
If you use the blue can, Target’s infant formaula is the same, per 3 Pharmasists I asked, and it is $10 a can cheaper!! They have a few other varities as well.
Ms. Moon says:
Can’t comment on the formula because all my babies were, well, breastfed, but as to the wound- keep on hand that Liquid Bandage product. It’s like (probably is) Super Glue for wounds. The stuff works and will keep you out of the hospital for those border-line-probably-should-be-stitched cuts.
Ms. Moons last blog post..Being Reminded
Jamie says:
Ah, this brings back so many memories –
Bad, horrible, “I can’t beleive this crap is so expensive” memories –
Thanks for making me laugh this morning.
Jamies last blog post..I lost this battle, but the war will rage on –
Jim says:
I’m glad those days are past. I can afford my Crown Royal again. The aluminum slices are just to toughen you up for the trials to come by the way.
Jims last blog post..Escaping the Mower
AMomTwoBoys says:
You really need to watch out for those formula lids. I’ve heard that they kill up to ONE Americans every year. That’s actually a Friend’s quote about blimps, but I think it’s totally acceptable to assume the same about formula cans.
And that shit IS expensive. Which is why I always bought the cheap shit at Target. Well, for Zach. Dylan got the good shit (Enfamil!) but he got the normal kind so I bought it at Costco so it was at least a LITTLE bit cheaper.
And doesn’t it smell AWFUL? Couldn’t they put something in it to at least make it a little more palatable? I mean, the kids seem to like it, but it’s nasty for us to have to mix. And if breast milk really does taste like cantaloupe juice (yet another Friend’s quote), I’d have to imagine that they could add some sort of flavor/scent to formula.
Kate says:
I am SO glad to be done with formula. The total bill for the year – required an additional paycheck for payment. Of course we had twins the second time around – so that kind of doubles it (and I knew from day one that there was NO way that I was going to try nursing them).
You just have to get through a few more months and then it will be a whole new world!
jenni says:
I can’t sympathize with having to buy formula, but your wife calling you a wuss showing your her C-section scar? Funniest thing I’ve read all day.
jennis last blog post..Phobia Friday: The Corn Refiners Association
maya says:
First of all thank you for the awesome words you wrote the other day. You rock too my albino bowler buddy.
Secondly, why not switch to similac? They have now created an awesome new container:
http://similacsimplepac.com/
no more cutting hands on tops (Ive so been there)
mayas last blog post..September 11th as a New Yorker
ali says:
formula is CRAZY expensive.
but…do you use powder or liquid?? i always bought the powder…and even though it’s less convenient…it was SO much cheaper! also? so much easier to take with you.
alis last blog post..being gammy makes me tangenty. and other goodies.
Christy says:
I don’t miss the days of having to pay the equivalent of a car payment each month to buy formula! You lost me on the drug dealer thing, though…they can make drugs out of formula now? God, where have I been for the last 8 years?
daddy dan says:
We used the liquid formula, which is probably even more expensive. I never did the math to figure it out
Just go get the stitches next time, you wuss!
daddy dans last blog post..9/11
VegasDad says:
Also, why does your formula smell so bad?
VegasDads last blog post..reflection
Surfer Jay says:
Ahh the formula burps are awful too. I would tell you to sue, but then they would havr to up their prices again to cover the billion dollar lawyers.
And those lids are sharp! Like a paper cut on crack.
Headless Mom says:
I just did the stitches thing. Not fun, but the fear of a gaping, infected wound on my foot, and the puddles of blood made me go.
Headless Moms last blog post..Klutz, Part 2
Andrea's Sweet Life says:
Dude, what kind of sickos live in LA where they have to put formula behind lock and key? Ours is right out there in the aisle at Target.
Just be glad you aren’t purchasing breast milk – it’s $8 per ounce!
Lori says:
I’m so thankful we’re past that stage!
Loris last blog post..Random Thoughts Wednesday edition
Bonnie says:
Well written, straight to the point. We used to hoard that stuff at Costco to save a few bucks.
Bonnies last blog post..I’m back in!
Lisa says:
Just when I get frustrated at the fact that my breastfed baby refuses all formula (I mean she acts like is poison or something) I am reminded just how lucky I really am. Thanks
Lisas last blog post..Afraid of the Dark
merlotmom says:
Oh, I remember those days. I would routinely choke on the bill after buying formula and diapers. I do remember switching to “Good Start” though, I think it was cheaper and the doctor said it was good stuff. Why are they keeping it locked up? What’s in it that drug dealers want?? Don’t worry, Mike, soon Maddie’ll be eating solid food, pooping in the potty, driving your car, and stealing money for birth control pills…feel better now?? Glad to help.
merlotmoms last blog post..Merlotmom Does Japan: Part 1 – First Impressions
Captain Dumbass says:
You’ll have a much cooler scar without the stiches. Before we had our first child my wife made us take…I mean, my wife and I decided it would be a great idea to take some pre-natal courses and one of them was on breast feeding. We saw this amazing video which described how formula was an invention of the dairy producers who didn’t know what to do with the little milk they had left after they made everything else. Somebody came up with the bright idea of marketing it to mothers and to really sell it they advertised it as healthier than breast milk. This was back in the late 30’s so they didn’t really need to back it up with fact. Oh, and if you put a new born on her mother’s stomach, the baby will work its way up to its mother’s breast all by itself, just by smell.
And then the hospital left a hockey puck sized piece of placenta in my wife which tricked her body into thinking it hadn’t actually delivered yet so her milk wouldn’t come in and we had to use formula anyway.
I wish there was something on tv tonight…
Captain Dumbasss last blog post..Pre-School, Day Two: Disillusionment
Willow says:
Is it wrong to say that I laughed all the way through this?
Willows last blog post..You’re Fired
HeatherPride says:
I am so with you!! God, the cost of formula for that first year is so outrageous! And did your doctor put Maddie on the special “preemie” formula that costs $2 more for half as much as a normal can?? That’s what we’re on. It’s killin us.
HeatherPrides last blog post..Some Rules Were Just Made to be Broken….
Marinka says:
They really keep that stuff under lock and key? And what kind of drug dealers deal in this stuff? Those crazy Californians.
Marinkas last blog post..You Say Tomato
Insta-Mom says:
I have formula-fed TWINS. I could retire on what we spend in formula. It’s absurd.
Insta-Moms last blog post..Happy Birthday, Sugar Bear
Kristin says:
Formula is the new crack I guess. Really, you have to get it behind the counter? Here in the Northeast we just get it off the shelf.
With 4 kids, all formula fed for some amount of time, I cut my finger more than once. If the premade stuff wasn’t so ridiculously expensive, I would have gotten that more. I loathed the powder.
Kristins last blog post..Friends: Lost and Found
A Free Man says:
Yet another advantage of ‘socialized’ medicine – subsidized baby formula. In the UK it cost us ~ $13 USD and here in Australia slightly less. How you going to vote this November?
Socialized medicine can’t do anything about those aluminum tops though.
A Free Mans last blog post..I only feel alive when the VU is flashing
jen says:
all of your commenters seemed confused by the lock and key, and seem to be blaming that on CA.
here in good ol’ minnesota we have the lock and key too.
surprising, given that we’ve got all that minnesota-nice around here.
i wonder if it’s the same key that opens the cigarette shelves?
jens last blog post..a dog’s name…
Kristin says:
I’m also lost on the drug dealer thing?? And they keep it locked up? MAN! Whats the world coming too?
I dunno where you shop, but that big huge monstor store that everyone loves to hate has an EXCELLENT store brand that equals infamil and is much cheaper – ALSO… no foamies at the top of the bottle. Both my kids lived off that stuff for their first year and they’re still kickin… and screaming…
Kristins last blog post..In memory…
Joe says:
Thank God we can breastfeed. I’m sure that opting to not get stitches was purely a financial decision. You gotta cut costs (and fingers, apparently) in order to afford the formula.
But please, please, PLEASE do me a favor next time you go get formula. Wear a trucker hat, a white tank top, and some old, dirty jeans. To add to the image, please buy a measuring cup and/or a scale as well.
For those that don’t understand the drug dealer thing… dealers are known to buy baby formula and “cut” their cocaine and heroin. So, if they’ve got a pound of cocaine, they can add a pound of formula. Now, they’ve got 2 pounds of “drugs” that they sell for essentially the same price. I’d rather not explain how I know that…. just like Mike didn’t explain how HE knew that.
Ann says:
Great letter! So, did you send it? And did they respond?
Anns last blog post..Are You Smarter than a Second Grader?
mom of 6 says:
i came across this and had my giggle for the day – i totally understand where you’re coming from – PLUS the way that you have to open the can half the time the powder “poofs” out of the can and if you’re lucky your counter is clean and you can salvage some of the formula that spills. We use a tremendous amount of formula – we have 6 kids of which 4 of them are parts of 2 natural sets of twins. I am breastfeeding our daughters but cannot keep up with them and go through a small can of formula within less than a week and they are only a month old!
Boxing Workout DVD says:
I totally concur with the above comment, the internet is with a doubt growing into one of the most essential medium of communication across the globe and its due to websites like this that ideas are spreading so rapidly.