Dear Emfamil:

First off, I want to thank you for creating the formula that keeps my baby alive. That is cool and stuff because I really love my baby.


With the above said I regret to inform you that I am not a huge fan of how your company makes this product. Please indulge me long enough to make a few brief complaints.

Complaint #1: Why is a 13 ounce can of baby formula twelve dollars more than a 16 ounce can of iced tea mix? I realize baby formula is more life sustaining than iced tea mix, but is it worth twelve dollars more (for less of a product)? There is NO WAY that your product is worth 80% more than the iced tea mix. What I am alleging is that you are ripping us off, and I got news for ya…new parents? We are mostly broke and living from check to check. Just sayin’. Most of us have mortgages to pay (not us…we aren’t even there yet) and 401ks that won’t do shit for us for a few more decades. 

Complaint #2: I am tired of waiting fifteen minutes per purchase of your formula for the store clerks to A) scrutinize me until they are convinced that I am not a drug dealer, and B) pull a can of this stuff from behind lock and key while the ten people in line behind me glare at me like I am the ultimate A-hole.

Complaint #3: Last night, as I opened a can of formula, the aluminum top sliced into my thumb so severely that I had to beg my wife not to take me to the hospital. As I cried/whined my wife called me a wuss and showed me her C-section cut. I then said, “Okay, tough gal. We still need to do something about the sea of blood pooling on the floor.” I then sat down to avoid passing out.


 I have since had a gigantic band-aid on my my sore as heck thumb. I don’t dare open the band-out though, because I fear stitches. LONG STORY SHORT….you are expensive, fear I am a drug dealer, and threaten to kill me. So you suck!!


One Frustrated Dad