When Heather told me she was going to be going to New York with Annie, part of me was stoked to hear that I was going to get a break from all of my “Dad duties.” For a few days I wouldn’t have to get up in the middle of the night for feedings, I wouldn’t have to change endless amounts of surprisingly full diapers (of both the numero uno y dos variety), and I wouldn’t have to walk around with baby spit-up on my clothes. This was a good thing.
I wasn’t just looking forward to getting a break from my “Dad duties” though. I was also looking forward to a reprieve from “wife rules.” You see, before Heather moved in I had no idea that eating cereal on the couch was wrong, that leaving my dirty laundry in a pile was unacceptable, or that watching Cops marathons wasn’t totally awesome. Luckily for me, Heather informed me of these wrongdoings and many others once she moved in. With Heather gone in New York, however, I was free to do as I pleased, and I may have even started Tivo’ing Cops episodes the week before she left in anticipation.
To my surprise, I didn’t enjoy returning to my bachelor-esque ways once I was on my own though. Sure, I ate cereal on the couch (and maybe even spilled some – Ha!), and yes, I watched all the TV I wanted (and not a second of Glee, Grey’s Anatomy, or America’s Next Top Model), but I didn’t really enjoy it. The reality – and men won’t like me admitting this – is that once we are domesticated we’re pretty useless on our own. We’re like killer whales in captivity…you can’t release us back into the wild. After three days of eating nothing but cereal and watching episodes of Cops on location in each of our fifty states, I was itching for my girls to come back and bring structure to my life once again. To my shock I found I was missing diapers and Glee.
The hardest part of Heather and Annie being gone, however, was not being near Annie. Since she was born I had only been away from her for one night, and now on this trip she was gone for four whole days. I wasn’t used to that. With Maddie, I was forced to learn early on that I wasn’t going to be able to spend all my time with her. Her first 68 days were spent in the NICU where there were specific visiting hours. I had no such restrictions with Annie though. From day one we got to pal around twenty-four hours a day, and there’s no amount of watching Dude TV in your underwear that that is worth trading for.
To my relief I found myself back on the job today, and I enjoyed it all…even the lost sleep, dirty diapers, and spit-up. Don’t tell Heather, but I might have even liked this week’s Glee that we watched when she got back. When the brown haired girl started singing Poker Face with her long lost mother? OMG. I might have got a little verklempt. Just a little though. I am still a dude, after all.
Aww that’s so sweet! Who wouldn’t miss that little beauty? And Heather of course
Heather and Annie are very lucky to have you!
Kate @ UpsideBackwards says:
You’re a great Dad.
I long for a “Mum’s Day Off” at times – but I know I’d be at least as lost as you were. All the same, it might be worth it to remind me sometimes of what I’d be missing
.-= Kate @ UpsideBackwards´s last blog ..We have no idea where he gets these ideas =-.
Haha how funny. Love this post. Hoping my hubby feels the same way. We (two daughters and me) will be leaving him for TWO WEEKS next month. I don’t know what he’ll do without us, but I’m guessing he’ll be eating take out, not cleaning up, not brushing his teeth as regularly and maybe even playing video games for hours on end without a wife or kid to interrupt him!
Heather and Annie are lucky to have you!
Now I know what he does when we leave! Thanks for sharing the secrets!
.-= Jenny´s last blog ..Lost and Found =-.
Love all of this post except the Poker Face part! Who sings THAT song with their long lost mother? Bluffin with my muffin? Ugh. Awkward.
Love you guys
“…once we are domesticated we’re pretty useless on our own.” Haha! Love it!
Seriously though, you are an awesome dad and husband Mike. Annie and Heather are blessed to have you.
Hilarious! You are a natural born writer, my friend.
.-= Sarah´s last blog ..Not keeping on top of things these days =-.
The dirty laundry I totally agree with Heather on and I’m never going to win that battle around my house or get that rule to stick. “Cops” can be awesome or really boring. My husband actually doesn’t like ‘Dude TV’, but I do. He is out of town and I watched “Nitro Circus” and “MXC” last night. Anyway, it’s stuff like this: “From day one we got to pal around twenty-four hours a day, and there’s no amount of watching Dude TV in your underwear that that is worth trading for” that makes me feel happy for your kids even though I don’t know you guys in person. You and Heather are great and all kids deserve parents like you two!
Lynn from For Love or Funny says:
I must admit that after being married 20 years, it’s really difficult for me to switch back to “single” mode on the rare occasions I’m without my hubby and kids. Life is a lot happier when they are around.
.-= Lynn from For Love or Funny´s last blog ..Let’s make whoopie =-.
So sweet! It’s nice to know there are still good men out there who love being with their families.
Momma Uncensored says:
she looks just like her daddy!
.-= Momma Uncensored´s last blog ..32 weeks =-.
What a super post, Mike!
Great post Mike!!! I’m sure the girls are glad to be back too!
.-= AmazingGreis´s last blog ..Big Steps… =-.
Mike, thanks for the smile to start my day….uber sweet!
.-= coloradolady´s last blog ..Vintage Thingie Thursday : A Vintage Dress And A Dream =-.
What a super post Mike! I’m sure that your girls missed you too…except the spilt cereal thing…no one likes that!
.-= charlane´s last blog ..Couch Cake =-.
Lindsay from Florida says:
“The brown-haired girl” = Rachel. Haha, you might as well know the characters! Heather and I are soulmates in how we watch our favorite TV shows … I looked at her rules, and they echo mine. A college roommate once yelled at me about the rules while I was watching ER, and seriously, God forbid someone call me while I’m watching a Falcons game!!!
This post is fantastic, Mike. Funny (the killer whale analogy is priceless) yet poignant.
So glad your girls are back with you!!
Funny how those kids make you miss them like crazy!
.-= Kelly´s last blog ..My Baby is Almost 4! =-.
Oy, so cute.
HOLD UP — eating cereal on the couch is wrong? Crap.
.-= Diane´s last blog ..7 Quick Takes – Sisters =-.
Ms. Moon says:
I love your writing, Mike. You have a gentle, sweet sense of humor but you always retain your dudeness.
.-= Ms. Moon´s last blog ..Fuck Fucking Red Ants =-.
What a great Dad and hubby you are! All your girls are lucky!
Great post too! You write from the heart!
.-= Java´s last blog ..A Week Of Lasts…. =-.
I love this post. My husband tells me the same thing after my son and I were away visiting family for a week.
.-= Autumn´s last blog ..Wednesday: read Plenty eating locally on the 100 mile diet =-.
Cute post. I didn’t realize you stayed home with Annie too! Lucky little girl gets both of her parents home with her. AWESOME!!!! Some of the dad’s do that up here since we get a paid year off when we have our babies.
Take Care and enjoy your day with Annie!
Great post, Mike. The same thing happens to women when the family leaves for a bit. Years ago my husband took both our little boys to visit his parents, I was joining them at his parents’ home after a few days. I was unbecomingly excited about the break from mommy duty – no cooking, no tussling little boys, no noise in the house, no daycare runs dragging a stroller onto public transportation while hoping the youngest wouldn’t spit up on my suit (this was the 80’s, we all wore suits). As a working mom I rarely had a minute to myself. I rented a car to drive them to the airport (telling them it was safer since I could put in carseats and we knew we would have seat belts), dropped them off and drove straight to a suburban mall to shop all by myself . I had a fabulous day and headed home to find the house too quiet. The days before I joined them weren’t as much fun as I hoped. So see, we can all relate to your experience! Wouldn’t miss all the commotion of marriage and family for the world – there is nothing better in this life.
Mike, you’re a pretty awesome dude.
.-= Karen´s last blog ..Blazing Saddles =-.
Megan (Best of Fates) says:
What a beautiful sentiment – and awesome use of the word verklempt.
.-= Megan (Best of Fates)´s last blog ..Bacon & Other Loose Ends =-.
I couldn’t believe it took this long for someone to mention the use of the word verklempt. Perhaps my favorite part of Mike’s post.
SUCH an amazing post. Dude, you are freakin awesome.
XOXO from GA,
Awww, that is so sweet. I’m glad you have them back home now.
.-= Lisa´s last blog ..It’s Hot Out There =-.
That’s just pure awesomeness! LOL
(((Hugs))) from here!
.-= jen´s last blog ..how does your garden grow? =-.
Great post. Super sweet.
And it’s nice to see a dude confident enough to admit that he watches and kinda actually enjoys GLEE – I can’t even get my husband to stay in the same room while it’s on.
Oh, and eating cereal on the couch is never wrong.
.-= Jamie´s last blog ..Wednesdays Words =-.
Glad your girls are back home!
.-= Diane´s last blog ..Here is what I have added to etsy =-.
Trisha Vargas says:
Aww how sweet!! Annie looks just as relieved to be back in your arms as you are to have her there.
Glad your girls made it home safely!!
(((HUGS))) from Florida
I love this post! It’s getting emailed to my husband!!
I’m going to add to the pile-on: you are an AWESOME dude! Annie looks just like you!
.-= Deborah´s last blog ..Drawing FAIL =-.
Sarah P says:
rachel cortest says:
Just Jiff says:
Can you rub off on my husband? He’s supposedly been “domesticated” for going on our 6th wedding anniversary in October, yet he still leaves his clothes in piles in the living room next to the couch so everyone can trip over them. He also leaves dirty dishes all over the coffee table, he leaves his dinner plate with a wadded up paper towel on top of it on the kitchen counter, and he leaves wet towels all over the bathroom floor. AAAHHH!!! Come rescue me!
Heheh. Seriously, though, that was a super sweet post. I may have to print it out and put it on the fridge for my hubby to get a hint. lol.
.-= Just Jiff´s last blog ..Summertime. =-.
I’m with Heather on the Cops thing. Shirtless meth addicts being thrown to the ground right and left. Some dazed girlfriend walking around like she doesn’t know where the hell she is. Mousy, unkempt kids scattering off in all directions. If you’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all.
Cereal, on the other hand, I have to take your side. What and where else should one eat?
.-= Rachel´s last blog ..Naps Are Under Rated… and So is Privacy =-.
Heather and Annabel are lucky to have you. That’s great that you didn’t miss your bachelor-esque ways Love it!
You are funny, sweet, and cute. Love it.
Awww. Dads are the best!
You are a great dad and husband! Heather and Annie are very lucky to have you and you are lucky to have them! This was a sweet post, I hope my husband would feel the same way.
.-= Nicole´s last blog ..Saturday =-.
so sweet! you and heather are both AMAZING writers…. have you two ever thought about writing a book together?
.-= Beth´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday — new sleeping position =-.
My husband tries to hide that he likes Gaga, but he can’t. I think he secretly liked that episode too.
Guys pretend to hate Glee, but I think they secretly love it.
.-= statia´s last blog ..Mama Baby Taxi =-.
Mike, you are a good guy!
.-= sandi´s last blog ..Happy Birthday Jazzi Hope =-.
Ok, I was going to say that you totally have to turn in your man card for the Glee part. Because I am a woman and I lost 15 minutes of my life that I can never get back due to people tweeting about it to check it out.
But the rest? You can keep the card.
Adventures In Babywearing says:
.-= Adventures In Babywearing´s last blog ..Closets: a rare peek into my blog closet =-.
This my favorite post in the history of Google Reader. I’m going to make all my gal friends and specially my husband and all his guys friends read this.
That version of Poker face is amazing! I just downloaded it from itunes.
Nothing beats having a baby around. By the way have you and Heather seen the movie Babies? It’s this amazing documentary about 4 babies around the world. You guys have to watch. Don’t worry it’s a total “dude” movie.
.-= damaris´s last blog ..my mom is leaving in a week =-.
awesome post, however please include a spoiler alert next time (re: glee)
Sarah R says:
You are an awesome daddy, an example for the rest of ’em.
.-= Sarah R´s last blog ..I am protected by the new law! =-.
Dude TV in your underwear… LOL. Mike, you crack me up. And I know what you mean about a break from parenting duties being a mixed blessing.
Lotus / Sarcastic Mom says:
Just hit this post while I was Stumbling. \m/
You are too adorable, Mike.
Hey, I used to watch TV in my underwear while a diapered baby who kept me up all night spit up all over me. The worlds can collide!
.-= Lotus / Sarcastic Mom´s last blog ..Because it’s been far too long since you questioned my sanity. =-.
Is it terrible to admit, I LIVE for Wednesday nights? That is the night the husband plays basketball. Last night I even asked him why he was home early! (oops)
But sometimes a girl just wants to watch HGTV, Sixteen and Pregnant, or Food Network in peace. You don’t see me commenting on Sport Center all night long.
Heather@Triple Blessing says:
What a sweet post!!
.-= Heather@Triple Blessing´s last blog ..What do you do if the shoe fits?? =-.
I know how you feel…. kinda. My husband is the one who is usually gone (protecting our country and all, blah) and for the first few days I do enjoy being able to watch what I want (NO Cops! NO ESPN! No History Channel!), having the bed to myself and pretty much doing my own thing. But that wears off quickly and then I’m so ready for him to be in our home again. I think that’s just part of a good marriage. If you enjoyed it a little too much, then thats a sure sign something’s wrong.
BTW… I’m a chick and I totally don’t do Glee. I’m down with all the other chick shows, but never been able to get into Glee.
.-= Kristin´s last blog ..Six =-.
Oh, how this made me laugh. Especially the line about captive killer whales being released back into the wild. Thanks for the honest insight, Mike! And enjoy your time with Annie and Heather.
.-= Pattie´s last blog ..Photoblogging: Cemetery/Flowers =-.
Ah what a great guy you are Mike! So sweet.
.-= K´s last blog ..Wherein the pacifist changes her mind on the death penalty… =-.
I agree with Mike about the domesticated-thing. That has happened to my husband, for sure. My husband was once left “alone” for 4 days while I took the kids to another state to visit a friend. Because of work, he could not go along with us. I was secretly sooo envious — because to me, being left alone in our home for only a few hours is sooooo nice! I couldn’t imagine what I would do with four days to myself! Holy-moly, that would be a welcomed vacation for me. To be away from the chaos? to not have to cook for anyone? to get the clicker all to myself? WOW. Heaven, for sure. But I swear my husband probably called us every other hour or so, just to talk to everyone. He actually bugged us, he called so much. I said, “Honey…what’s up? Aren’t you enjoying the peace and quiet?” and he said, “No. It’s actually freaking me out. The house has no activity. No voices. Nothing. When are you coming home?” LOL And once upon a time he was such the bachelor. Yep, he’s been domesticated, for sure. And those domesticated ones make the best husbands and daddies
.-= Katrina´s last blog ..Is this the last one? =-.
“The reality – and men won’t like me admitting this – is that once we are domesticated we’re pretty useless on our own. We’re like killer whales in captivity…you can’t release us back into the wild.”
.-= Me´s last blog ..Darth Vader =-.
Haha- I am a girl and I think I’m the one who does unacceptable things. If I move in with my boyfriend I will be the one to have to give up my disgusting/bachelorette ways. Glad you are enjoying being back with the girls!
.-= Skye´s last blog ..Going Home for Grand May Day =-.
Loved this post!
Awe~you big softie! Despite the Cops thing, we all knew that you’d much prefer being with your girls~even without you admitting it! But you did admit it & that makes you an even more awesome man/husband/daddy.
PS~love that you used the word “verklempt.” I mean, how often do we get to use such a wonderful word in day-to-day life?
.-= Mary´s last blog ..Blessed =-.
Overflowing Brain (Katie) says:
I eat cereal in bed. Don’t let Heather keep you from eating Cereal on the couch. But, uh, maybe spill less. Can’t hurt.
And Glee is awesome. I knew it’d get you eventually.
“To my shock I found I was missing diapers and Glee.” And your little MINI-ME!
Holy cow is she ever!
You actually missed Glee? Dear God in heaven! I’m a chick and I ;loathe Glee. I loathe it with every particle of my being, both corporeal and incorporeal. I hate it so much that it’s slightly irrational but I don’t care. I often ponder when I have a few moments to kill which of the Glee characters I find most detestable. They’re all awful but I particularly hate the football player guy with the obnoxious hairstyle that’s sore of a weird, super-pointy mohawk. I hate the gay kid, too, and I really hate the teacher guy who’s in charge of the glee club. About the only one I don’t loathe with a white-hot passion is the chubby black chick. She’s more or less inoffensive althought I’m sure she has her moments.
Aunt Becky says:
I’m convinced that you’re The Daver in a taller, darker form.
I am dying laughing. I went on a trip for 4 days and Laef told me that he was worried about what he would eat. He ended up eating Cinnamon Toast Crunch for 4 days. Also, he likes to pretend that he doesn’t like Glee or Real Housewives, yet whenever they are on he’s all “OMG, why is Danielle a prostitution whore? Dina is SUCH a bitch!”
once we are domesticated we’re pretty useless on our own…LOVE IT!
My hubby doesn’t like it when we are gone for any length of time either.
.-= Kristin´s last blog ..More Random Shit from Me =-.
Too funny! I so enjoyed the post, glad that you have your sweeties back.
Rachel ~ Southern Fairytale says:
Mike ~ you make me grin.
Heather & Mike ~ y’all make my heart happy.
Love. So. Much. Love.
(ps poker face ROCKED)
.-= Rachel ~ Southern Fairytale´s last blog ..FreeBirds =-.
Loved this post. Made me laugh. I think my husband can relate.
.-= SnazzyGina´s last blog ..snazzygina: @Jennif I am SO done with the rain. =-.
“…I was itching for my girls to come back and bring structure to my life once again. To my shock I found I was missing diapers and Glee.”
^^Awww, that’s so sweet! You’re such a great guy Mike. Love that photo with you and Annie. Such sweetness.
Amanda M. says:
And here I thought you would’ve been all about the KISS moment. How can you even pretend not to love Glee?? Pfft, we see right through you.
Though cereal should be appreciated anywhere and everywhere.
.-= Amanda M.´s last blog ..Manga Monday (cough): 100% Perfect Girl =-.
That is some very good info to know about men. It was also a very sweet post.
.-= Megan´s last blog ..The Beef Continues =-.
Ella xxx says:
Oh and since you missed diapers so much its only fair you take over all responsibility for them for at least the next month
.-= Ella xxx´s last blog ..Love Letters =-.
Glad your girls are back home!
.-= amanda´s last blog ..Don’t wanna be an American Idiot =-.
Jenny @ http://motherlawyercrazywoman.blogspot.com/ says:
Love the killer whale analogy. Sweet post!
.-= Jenny @ http://motherlawyercrazywoman.blogspot.com/´s last blog ..Falling From Grace =-.
Sara K. says:
LOL @ “Tivo’ing Cops episodes the week before she left”….no really, I did!!
So glad Heather and your tiny gal made it back safely, and you’ve got your Dad duties back! Now, off to Google “verklempt”…
Computer Diagnostics says:
I think almost all of our dad is just like that. Most of the fathers I know really make sure that they attend to the needs of their kids especially when they are still baby. It’s a part of being a dad.
“the reality – and men won’t like me admitting this – is that once we are domesticated we’re pretty useless on our own.”
Greatest, truest sentence ever written.
Shannon Kieta says:
You are more man than any man I have ever known…except for MY hubby. To admit that you love bieng domesticated makes you all the more attractive. Most men would have rather shot themselves in the foot than admit that they miss thier wife and child. How sad. You ARE a great dad and husband. You go Mike!!!! Glad you have your girls back!!! Don’t ever take them for granted.
.-= Shannon Kieta´s last blog ..The Real Housewives of Connellsville!!! =-.
Hah, love the killer whale analogy!
…we eat on the couch all the time. That’s where the TV is! Heh.
Jenni Williams says:
The killer whale analogy is fabulous, so is Glee.
.-= Jenni Williams´s last blog ..Graduation =-.