When I was in the third grade my best friend was a kid named David whose Dad was pretty cool for three reasons: 1) He swam in the Olympics, 2) He was a multi-millionaire because he had invented a new kind of beef jerky, and 3) he had every single issue of Playboy magazine Hugh Hefner ever unleashed upon the world. Of course, as nine-year-old boys, David and I were most impressed with number three.
When no one was looking David and I would liberate one of the Playboys from a chest his Dad hid in the garage, then climb onto the roof and check out the centerfold.
“Look at that,” David cried out one time. “Boobies! And I can look at ’em anytime I want!”
“You sure live the life,” I replied.
David ripped out the centerfold and handed it to me.
“What are you doing?”
“It’s yours,” David decreed. “Take it.”
“But won’t your Dad get mad?”
“Please. He’s got so many of these he’ll never find out.”
I took the centerfold, but truth be told it wasn’t David’s Dad I was worried about finding out… it was my parents. I mean where the heck was I going to hide the sordid thing?
From that moment on I had a pit in my stomach 24/7. Every day I worried endlessly that my parents would find the centerfold (I had hid it under my bed). I never even looked at the thing… just fretted about its existence.
Then one day my mother picked me up from school and dropped the centerfold into my lap as we pulled away. I was mortified. At dinner my parents told me the centerfold was inappropriate, and that I wasn’t to look at that sort of thing ever again.
That night I lay awake trying to figure out how long it would take for my parents to forget about this. At least a year, I thought. But more likely five or ten. “In twenty years they will have definitely forgot,” I finally decided. “But twenty years is SOOOOO long!” I then worried that my parents would never love me again.
I bring all this up, twenty-five years later, because I now realize my parents probably weren’t as deeply disappointed in me as I imagined, and that there was no chance they would have ever stopped loving me. In fact, they may have even had a laugh about it.
Parents, having been there themselves, understand that kids are going to do things wrong. The problem is, kids don’t know that. In their minds doing something wrong (be it swiping a toy from the store, cheating on a test, or hording a centerfold) is a big deal, and something their parents may never forgive them for. This all may be a normal part of growing up, but I hate to think that one day Annie might lay awake at night worrying if Heather and I still love her because of something she did.
I’ve got a few years to figure out how to handle Annie’s first transgression, but I just hope to find a way to let her know she did wrong while also making it clear I was in her shoes one day and understand. And that, of course, I still love her to pieces and always will no matter what.
Elle says:
It’s so true. I did plenty of things that I thought my parents would never forgive me for. What can I say, I was a very free-spirited child. It’s funny though because now when I mention something I did when I was younger that I felt was so tragic, my mom will have absolutely no idea what I’m talking about. All those years I worried about things I had done and she doesn’t even remember most of them.
Tina says:
Honestly, Mike, you are the BEST dad! Just the right mixture of protectiveness and relaxed humour. Well played, sir.
Audra says:
Well stated! As a parent, there are key moments when it’s important to reflect back on how we felt when WE were on the child end of the relationship so many years ago. So, after 25 years did your parents forget?
Leigh Elliott says:
What a great post! You are hilarious btw! “You sure live the life.” —-awesome.
Amy S. says:
Thank you for this. I have a 10 and 11 yr old and with all the technology we have these days we have already had to deal with issues that would not have to be dealt at this age. Thank you for reminding me that I they are still just little kids and do care what we as parents think!!!
Megan says:
That’s so funny! I remember my first centerfold moment…not involving a centerfold, but the same kind of thing, where I thought a minor transgression was going to get me kicked out of 4th grade and my life would be over. The saddest part about this is that you never even got to look at it!
Rebecca says:
I make it a point to always tell my kids that I love them no matter what. I’ll say “I’m angry about what you did but I still love you. Lets snuggle/hug”
Skye says:
Did you get a call from your mom after posting this?
It’s great you can still see things from a kid’s perspective. I know you will be able to show Annie that you still love her when you have to discipline her.
momof2 says:
I agree for the most part with Rebecca. But there are some things that you just have to reprimand your kids for, without trying to sugarcoat it. Lying and stealing are two things that come to mind. In order to impress the seriousness of those transgressions, I wouldn’t think of adding on an “I love you.” This came up recently, and I know my kid was sad I was so disappointed, but it will make a better lasting impression.
Hard to keep the stern face and tone of voice for some things though. And you know, sometimes that’s okay. I don’t think it’s a big deal if my almost-teen curses. I just mildly remind him that he shouldn’t do that in front of teachers or most adults because it will get him into trouble or be considered rude. This is a very different attitude than my parents would have had.
Christina says:
I don’t know how much of what your parents did you should change… you turned out okay! Developing a conscience in your child is delicate work. Careful you don’t miss that goal to overachieve on the goal of ensuring your child feels loved. I’ve seen that not turn out so well for some. I’m sure you’ll find the balance… just be careful!
Trisha Vargas says:
Even though my older girls are now 15 & 17, I still tuck them in at night and give them a kiss. If we’ve had a disagreement or they’ve done something that day that left me disappointed, I still tuck them in at night. I will reprimand them and give them consequences, but I will also go and talk to them later once I’ve cooled down and let them know I may not like their choices but I love them still without sugarcoating it or making it seem like they are off the hook.
Parenting is hard work and we don’t always get it right. That’s ok. As long as we don’t give up on them and they don’t give up on us, well then, it should all work out in the end. Hopefully, fingers crossed.
Kristin says:
I think about the same thing for my kids! They are 7 and 4 and aren’t at the age yet to really do major wrongs. They are still in the little league of wrong-doings. But I often think that when they hit the minors, or even the majors that I’ll be able to remember what it was like to be in their shoes and have compasion at the same time as disciplining them. I remember my dad telling me he was my age and it sounded more like “blah blah blah, I was once your age and blah blah blah” I just hope I can do a better job with my kids in letting them know that I REALLY do understand and remember what its like to be a kid and that looking back I actually appreciate my parents looking out for me. Kids usually hate that stuff, I just hope it’ll sink in and really mean something with mine. And I have no fear that you and Heather will both be great at disciplining and showing love at the same time. I can’t imagine Annie ever doubting how much she is loved.
Karen says:
Ah, the joys of parenthood!
My son is 15 and has shown little interest in either sex. He has learning difficulties and causes us much worry and heartache.
However I was tidying his room a couple of months ago and found atypical 15 year old boy drawing of a naked woman, disproportionate but anatomically correct! A bit like a Barbie doll! I grabbed the drawing and thrust it under my husbands nose and exclaimed, with glee, “look our boy’s all grown up!!!!!”. I then carefully put it back where it had been and never mentioned it.
Some things are just phases that have to be gone through and how our kids handle it all depends on how we do. I think for our boy we did the right thing.
Sarah, The Crazy Baby Mama says:
… and now your wife is a swimsuit model. david’s dad can suck it.
Jennifer says:
Love this post, both for your thoughts on your daughter and for your first centerfold experience. I remember finding a neighborhood boy’s Playboy stash in his clubhouse in the woods, snagging a few issues, and running back to my yard with my friends in tow. We looked at the photos, giggled uncomfortably, and then stuffed torn-out pages in between logs in the woodpile. Imagine my horror when, that night at dinner, my father asked, “Do you girls know how Playboy pages wound up in the woodpile?”
dysfunctional mom says:
What a great post. I think it’s so important that we make sure our kids know that our love is unconditional. I always felt like my parents never did anything wrong, and never had any moment of uncertainty in parenting. They just seemed to sure about everything, and everything was very black and white with them. Right or wrong, no exceptions.
Anyway! I think you’re an awesome Dad, Annie is blessed with wonderful parents.
Betty S says:
All I can think after reading this is DAMMIT! I have an eight year old boy (for another 30 days any way), and I thought, because I was told a million times by my hubby, that I don’t have to worry about him doing stuff like this for at least three more years. Now, I’m off to check under his bed for inappropriate pictures.
Desera says:
Such a great post! I was just in this position (sort of) with my daughter and some of her friends. (they are 13 and 14) Three of her girlfriends got caught drinking (she wasn’t involved…THIS time) and they were shocked that I was still going to let Ashton hang out with them and I wasn’t “mad” at them. I told them that as long as they learned something from the experience that it served it’s purpose and that I still loved them as much as I ever did. I guess some of their other friend’s parents weren’t so understanding. We can’t make all of our kid’s choices and they ARE going to make some bad ones. I’m just determined that Ashton will know that, though I may be disappointed; I love her no matter what.
Elizabeth says:
I’m sure you two will figure it out and I’m pretty sure Annie will always know how much she’s loved.