Like most parents of a baby, I can’t wait for Maddie to grow up so I can see her do fun things like go to her first day of school or spurn her first teenage horn dog. Nevertheless, I do like the fact that Maddie spends most of her time safely indoors with her loving Mom and Dad. I worry about her going out into the mean ol’ world and having some kid, teacher, or random asshat say something cruel to her that might dim her smile. Right now her smile is SOOOO bright…
…and I can’t help but wonder if it is because she has yet to be told out in the real world that she isn’t as wonderful as she is.
I may be worried about this because I had my smile dimmed a lot as a younger person. I was a fat kid, I had Forrest Gump-esque leg braces for a time, and even battled a minor form of Tourette’s syndrome. Add that all up and that equals kids picking on you!
Here are just a couple fun stories:
FUN STORY #1: One summer I went to basketball camp at Stanford University. This was very exciting for me because at the time Stanford had a great basketball team, and their coach, Mike Montgomery, was going to speak to us. The best part of the camp, however, was getting to play basketball. The camp really went out of their way to make it seem like our games were important and not just a bunch of awkward kids running around a court. One way they did this was to hire teenagers to sit in the stands and keep a record of all the game’s stats…points, assists, blocks, you name it were written down for posterity.
On the third day I had an amazing game and scored a bunch points. As the clock wound down all I could think about was seeing the stat sheet to find out just how many points I had made. Eventually the horn blew and the teenager/score keeper climbed down from the stands and posted the stats on a bulletin board. I raced over with a bunch of kids to see it. Upon getting there I scanned down from the top and saw the following:
DOUG – 8 points
FRANK – 4 points
STEVE – 2 points
FAT KID – 17 points
RONALD – 6 points
etc….
I stared at the stat sheet, shocked. Fat kid?
As Amy Poehler would say on Saturday Night Live “Fat kid? REALLY? The kid who owned the game with seventeen points? Really teenage score keeper? Really?”
Anyway, all of the other kids soon saw the words: “Fat Kid” on the stat sheet and broke out into hysterical laughter. For the rest of camp pretty much everyone called me “Fat Kid.” In a matter of minutes I went from sheer elation to pure misery.
FUN STORY #2: In high school, yes, this fun high school, they had a thing where on Valentine’s Day you could buy a heart shaped candy and write a message on it for your beloved, or at the least the kid you liked. Freshman year, when the student council member came into my classroom to hand out the Valentine grams I was very excited and praying one was for me. Sadly, it became clear once the last Valentine gram was passed out that no one had sent me one. The next year it was the same story. No Valentime gram.
But then….
My junior year I got a Valentine gram and was stoked! I quickly opened the note and couldn’t believe my luck – the girl I was in la la love with, let’s call her Beth – had sent it and even included the following swoon worthy note:
“I think you are really cute. How come you’ve never asked me out? Hint, hint!”
I had to have re-read that message a thousand times. I couldn’t believe my good fortune! I bragged about it to a bunch of kids in my class who seemed surprisingly supportive and told me I totally should ask her out. At lunch, I decided, I would do just that.
A couple magical hours later I saw Beth at lunch and we had the following exchange:
MIKE: “Hi, Beth! You totally made my day today!”
BETH: “What?”
MIKE: “You know, with the thing you sent.”
Beth sees someone across the lunch room.
BETH: “I’ve gotta go.”
The preceding struck me as strange, but I just chocked it up to her being nervous in front of me after sending her brazen come on. I decided to ask her out after school.
After a few more hours of me telling everyone who would listen about the Valentine gram, and seeing people snicker as they listened in, the end of the day finally came. I raced to the front of the school to meet Beth. As she approached one of my friends pulled me aside before she reached me.
MIKE: “Dude. What are you doing? I was just about to ask out Beth!”
FRIEND: “She didn’t send you that Valentine Gram, Mike. Nick Giovanni did. It was a prank.”
Horror filled my eyes. I looked out across the student body as they headed home and it seemed like every single one of them was laughing at me. Even Beth was scoffing, as if the concept of her ever being interested in me was ridiculous. This one, my friends, stung. And yes, I realize I should have got the hint earlier, but when someone tells you your dream has come true you want to believe it, you know?
Now Maddie, I know, will be cooler than her old man especially since her mom was just about the most popular kid at her school, but I still cringe when I think of her having crap like this happen to her. I know she has to learn how the world is, but at the same time I sort of wish she could always stay this size:
jenni says:
Wow, both of those stories are awful. Teenagers suck.
jennis last blog post..Red Ties are Soooo Last Season
Jamie says:
Ok, those aren’t funny stories – Those are wickedly painful. Being the hyper sensative person I am my stomach is a little sick that you actually endured those things in your life. I think it’s great that you have a sense of humor about it and refer to them as funny stories. I think if those things had happened to me I would never find the humor in it. You are a better person than me.
I can’t even start to think about how painful it’s going to be when my girls are made fun for something and it will happen…. It always does.
Jamies last blog post..Kickin it old school
VegasDad says:
These kinds of things are a rite of passage for any and all kids. I think it’s fair to say that even the cool kids have their moments of misery. We can do our best to protect our kids from such heartache, but it actually only makes them stronger and more confident adults. Frankly, kids that never have to deal with such adversity are often the ones that turn out to be not very good adults. The best we can do is prepare them.
HeatherPride says:
Dude, I just had a horrible flash back of me at basketball camp. I was the most awkward sports player ever. I was in high school before I ever shot a free throw. Yeah, tell me about it.
But the Beth thing? So sad. And cruel. Kids really suck sometimes. I dread dread DREAD my kids becoming school aged. I saw some bigger kid picking on my son at preschool one day and I wanted to pummel that little brat. I was surprised at my own anger.
HeatherPrides last blog post..Are You Amazing?
Ms. Moon says:
And yet, Mike, you grew up to be a very cool man with a beautiful wife and a gorgeous baby. You are far more sensitive for the cruelty you had to endure.
Said Pollyanna.
But really, all our kids go through things that we wish they didn’t have to. We can’t protect them from that. What we can do is ensure that they know they are loved and cherished to their very bones.
And Maddie will always have that.
Ms. Moons last blog post..Let Me Compare Thee To A Fall Day When The Butterfly Ginger Blooms
Daddy Dan says:
Man, Mike, I feel for you. It looks like you got the last laugh though with the hot, popular wife and adorable baby daughter.
Daddy Dans last blog post..Wednesday Spotlight: Great Blog Posts From Around the Internet (Version 9)
Jodi says:
Those stories broke my heart. I was a fat kid too. Actually, at times I wasn’t a fat kid, I just wasn’t skinny and that wasn’t good enough for grandmother who thought regular sizes were akin to the “husky” sizes. Even though I wore regular size at the time, at 9 years old, she told me if I lost weight I could wear the more “normal” slender size. For all intense and purposes, I was a fat kid after that.
Jodis last blog post..Today is a test
Andrea's Sweet Life says:
Aw, Mike. We totally could have been nerd buddies growing up. Kids can be SO freaking cruel.
But you know what? Look at what awesome studs we are as grown ups: not too bad looking, married to hotties, cute kids, educations and responsibilities and stuff.
The most popular girls at my high school (the ones that threw rocks at me and did all manner of cruel things) got knocked up right away, their baby daddy refused to acknowledge them, and then their teeth fell out from all the drugs they did. Who’s the loser NOW, baby?
gin says:
“And this one time, at band camp…”
Okay, that was awful, “the fat-kid.” Whoever wrote that should not have been paid. Better yet, they shouldn’t have been allowed back the next day. And Nick, he needs to go suck a giant sour ball filled with puss.
Do you understand grammar lessons? Like how the vowel before a single consonant turns into a long vowel sound if there is an ‘e’ following said consonant? Here, let me give you an example:
Gin = Rum & Gin anyone?
GINE = vaGINa.
Get the pronunciation? Because my name resembles a state, I was called vagina by the older kids beginning in grade one until the day I left school. Now imagine being on the bus in 11th grade and being serenaded by two jocks. This serenade was actually a “Bus Award” doned out by said jocks. The title of my award… drum roll please…
The Gine Award followed by a lovely song of “My Gine.”
I guess you’d say nothing makes me feel this way but My Gine! My Gine! My Gine! Talkin’ ’bout My-y Gine!!!
gins last blog post..OUR Funniest Video
Jim says:
Wow, my condolences on your experiences. I don’t think you’ll have to worry about Maddie though (even though it’s inevitable — parents always do) she’s too darn cute.
Jims last blog post..Child of Our Hearts
Joe says:
I remember walking through the hallway, freshman year of high school… some f***er smashed a stink bomb on my back. I. was. MORTIFIED!!!
Joes last blog post..It’s midnight already?
Raging Dad says:
Man, kids are so brutal! Middle school was where I found it to be most savage. I just can’t imagine when my kids get there. The psychological torture… Stay young kids!
Raging Dads last blog post..No-no-no-no, I don’t smoke it no more
A Free Man says:
Kids are assholes. A lot of them turn in to asshole adults as well.
I have a similar story. I wore thick – I mean THICK – glasses until I was 15. At 15 my Mom finally let me get contacts. I was so pleased, so sure that my life was going to change. I went to school the next day with my head held high for the first time since I was about 10. Until P.E. THese things always happen in P.E. We were playing flag football and someone made the mistake of throwing a pass to me, which I promptly dropped. Someone yelled out “Nice one, big nose!” And right then the realization that people suck became as clear as glass.
I know what you mean about the kids, I hope my boy is neither bullied nor a bully.
A Free Mans last blog post..In a cabin on a hill in the Atlanta suburbs…
Kerry says:
How horrible! I really hate to think about what our kids will have to endure in school, especially middle school. What a difficult time for everyone, ugh! Mostly, I hope that (our daughter who is also a) Maddie never becomes one of the bullies. It breaks my heart to think about her getting teased, but I hope we can teach her to not be so cruel to others.
Amy says:
Oh man those are some CRUEL stories! Not even funny!
I have a daughter in middle school, and I fear for her well being on a daily basis. She seems to do pretty well, but seriously, yesterday she was teased by her friends because she brought cottage cheese in her lunch! I realize some people don’t like cottage cheese, but its a pretty normal/common food! It’s not like she brought fish eyeballs or something! It just proves that kids will tease over just about A-N-Y-T-H-I-N-G!!!!
And I have a feeling that little Maddie will be just as popular in school as her momma! How could she not be with that infectious smile! But she will have the sensitivity learned from you and all you’ve been through and won’t be one of those torterous-cottage cheese hating-fat kid calling-love note prankster monsters!
maya says:
Something like that happened to me!
A girl who was my cousin’s friend (and by no way mine) came up to me and said that one of the most popular kids in school wanted my number. I was so happy! I tried to get more infor from her, and she would just run away form me, saying she couldnt talk about it. I tried to grab her just when she stepped away from him, but my cousin (who had just gotten wind at what had happened) took me aside and told me they were playing a joke on me, and the guy was in on it! That means he saw me trying to talk to her all day- excited and all.
How sad. I have a few more of those stories!
mayas last blog post..The Teen in Me…
Headless Mom says:
Oh Mike. I know that you meant for this to be light and funny but it just made me sad. I’m sorry-kids are really crappy, aren’t they?
Headless Moms last blog post..Works For Me Wednesday-Quick Clean
Jen W says:
1) Those stories- horrifying. But they are supposed to make us stronger, right? RIGHT????
2) Maddie- Those eyes, that smile. Man, you are in trouble with her. Do you have your shotgun handy to scare the boys away when they come calling???
Jen Ws last blog post..It’s a Twister
iMommy says:
I hate teenagers.
Grr.
Danes says:
Kids can be SO mean. Those stories made me cringe for you. I’m still scarred from junior high (like the day in 7th grade my best friend turned around on the playground and hissed, “Stop FOLLOWING me,” turned around and went off the with the ‘popular’ crew. I just stood there. Alone. Like and ass, wondering what I’d done.)
And BTW – I totally agree with one of the comments above about how the popular kids peaked out in jr. high and high school. Like that ‘Friends’ when Monica goes, “Remember how I always wanted to date Chip MAtthews in high school?” *Beat* “I just did.”