It has been a little while since I last blogged here announcing Annie’s birth. The reason for this is that, while blogging can be a great way for me to express my feelings, it has also become much harder after Maddie passed. When Maddie was alive I could easily blog three or four times a week about life with that amazing little girl. These days, however, getting my feelings out and on the page is difficult. All too often they are a jumbled mess inside my head, and it is impossible to sort them out let alone blog about them. Other times the “guy” in me won’t let me express how desperately I miss my little girl or how deeply wounded I am. On those days I just try to make it through while doing my impression of a regular person, whatever that is.
I bring all this up because I was thinking today just how amazing Heather has been with her blog. Starting with a post discussing her apprehension about speaking at Maddie’s memorial service, Heather has blogged five days a week non-stop following Maddie’s passing. She has documented her feelings even on days that were unfathomably hard. One involved bringing Maddie home in an urn, another involved living through what would have been our daughter’s second birthday. Other days were even bleaker. Days where it seemed like this horrible experience might finally break us. Still…Heather blogged. What is left behind is truly an amazing document, one that details just what it is to live through something like this. It has done a lot of good too – not just for Heather, but for readers who have gone through – or are going through – something similar. The communal healing and sharing of grief has been wonderful, and it is the kind of thing I wish critics of social media were more aware of.
Heather isn’t the first person to blog through grief. She was inspired to write about our loss by Tanis from The Redneck Mommy, who was one of the original grief bloggers. Tanis writes about her son and her feelings in a truly meaningful way – she has brought Heather and me the kind of comfort that I hope Heather’s blog can continue to give to others.
I am so, so proud of Heather. I am biased, of course, but to me there is no better example of what it is to blog through grief. The “guy” in me may not like it, but I hope to become more like her as we continue down this terrible road.