I’m a little all over the place right now, so today’s post is a collection of somewhat random thoughts after the gratuitous Maddie photo! (She loves The Office.)

1. Bedtime for Maddie isn’t very involved currently considering that she is only eleven months old, but I can’t wait for the day when I can tell her bedtime stories and the like. As I was thinking about this today I remembered something my Dad used to say to my sister and me when we would beg him to tell us a bedtime story. And I quote:

“I had an awl, I stuck it in the wall, and that is all.”

And then he would turn out the light. What the hell was that? Oh well. I ‘spose I may use that               gem on Maddie too one day when I am tired!

2. Today I took Rigby to get groomed because she was looking pretty shaggy, and when I got there the guy behind the counter came out to look at Maddie and then started telling me about his daughter. This, I should add, was the third time this guy has told me about his daughter as if it was the first time. I don’t blame him…with a million different customers you can’t remember everyone, but it reminded me of a funny story:

A number of years ago I ordered a drink at a bar and was carded by the bartender who, after reading my birthdate on my ID, broke into a huge smile and said, “Wow! We have the same birthday!” I filed this bon mot away and then, the next time I went to that bar, had the following exchange with the bartender:

BARTENDER: “Can I help you?”

MIKE: “Sure. I’ll have a beer.”

The bartender pours the beer and places it in front of me.

BARTENDER: “That’ll be four dollars.”

MIKE: “Listen, um, if I can guess your birthday could I have this beer for free?”

The bartender smiles, cocky.

BARTENDER: “You tell me my birthday and I’ll buy your whole table their first round.”

MIKE: “Deal.”

Mike scrutinizes the bartender with a creepy visage of concentration as he waves his hand in front of the bartender’s face. Finally…

MIKE: “December 9th.”

The bartender’s mouth drops open, shocked.

BARTENDER: “How did you…?” 

MIKE: “Magic is real. Believe! Oh, and, uh, we’re all drinking beer.”

I may have pulled this trick three or four times. I know. I’m going to hell.

3. Speaking of Rigby, Heather bought this dog pillow/rug (seen in the photo below) for Maddie, but Rigby commandeered the thing and now is OBESSED with it. She literally sleeps on it all day, and then last night I woke up at three in the morning and saw that Rigby wasn’t on our bed. I got a little worried so I went to look for her. It took me a minute or two, but then I found Rigby in the pitch black living room all by herself cuddled up on the dog pillow rug/thing. Poor Rigby. I think she really wants a puppy sibling.