I’m a little all over the place right now, so today’s post is a collection of somewhat random thoughts after the gratuitous Maddie photo! (She loves The Office.)
1. Bedtime for Maddie isn’t very involved currently considering that she is only eleven months old, but I can’t wait for the day when I can tell her bedtime stories and the like. As I was thinking about this today I remembered something my Dad used to say to my sister and me when we would beg him to tell us a bedtime story. And I quote:
“I had an awl, I stuck it in the wall, and that is all.”
And then he would turn out the light. What the hell was that? Oh well. I ‘spose I may use that gem on Maddie too one day when I am tired!
2. Today I took Rigby to get groomed because she was looking pretty shaggy, and when I got there the guy behind the counter came out to look at Maddie and then started telling me about his daughter. This, I should add, was the third time this guy has told me about his daughter as if it was the first time. I don’t blame him…with a million different customers you can’t remember everyone, but it reminded me of a funny story:
A number of years ago I ordered a drink at a bar and was carded by the bartender who, after reading my birthdate on my ID, broke into a huge smile and said, “Wow! We have the same birthday!” I filed this bon mot away and then, the next time I went to that bar, had the following exchange with the bartender:
BARTENDER: “Can I help you?”
MIKE: “Sure. I’ll have a beer.”
The bartender pours the beer and places it in front of me.
BARTENDER: “That’ll be four dollars.”
MIKE: “Listen, um, if I can guess your birthday could I have this beer for free?”
The bartender smiles, cocky.
BARTENDER: “You tell me my birthday and I’ll buy your whole table their first round.”
Mike scrutinizes the bartender with a creepy visage of concentration as he waves his hand in front of the bartender’s face. Finally…
MIKE: “December 9th.”
The bartender’s mouth drops open, shocked.
BARTENDER: “How did you…?”
MIKE: “Magic is real. Believe! Oh, and, uh, we’re all drinking beer.”
I may have pulled this trick three or four times. I know. I’m going to hell.
3. Speaking of Rigby, Heather bought this dog pillow/rug (seen in the photo below) for Maddie, but Rigby commandeered the thing and now is OBESSED with it. She literally sleeps on it all day, and then last night I woke up at three in the morning and saw that Rigby wasn’t on our bed. I got a little worried so I went to look for her. It took me a minute or two, but then I found Rigby in the pitch black living room all by herself cuddled up on the dog pillow rug/thing. Poor Rigby. I think she really wants a puppy sibling.
I’m glad you are introducing Maddie to the fine things in life, such as The Office.
I wouldn’t have been able to keep a straight face as I was conning the bartender. That is funny stuff though.
ashleys last blog post..Cute, right?
Ms. Moon says:
All that cuteness AND a picture of the Beatles? Nice.
Ms. Moons last blog post..Well. What More Is There To Say? Click It So You Can Read It
I tried to tell my daughter a bedtime story last night but she insisted that we read the Very Hungry Caterpillar instead. 5 times. It is hard to say no when your 19 month old keeps saying “One more time?”
Are you sure Rigby isn’t having a secret love affair with that pillow thing? Sneaking off in the night sounds very suspicious to me.
Rachels last blog post..Libby’s First Boyfried
Andrea's Sweet Life says:
Rigby may THINK she wants a puppy sibling, until the puppy chews up mordecai. Then the war of the worlds will begin. And, dude, that thing looks incredibly soft and cushie. I’d be sleeping on it, too!
I think your dad’s lack of creativity at bedtime is directly related to the fact that you guys didn’t listen to music. Think about it.
Surfer Jay says:
Not sure why or how I know this, but that one liner your dad recited to you is from a fairy tale. I’m almost ceartainly maybe positive, yeah, that it is. Might want to look it up, somehow.
Surfer Jays last blog post..
December 9th, eh! And the guy didn’t catch on? That’s something for freebies!
gins last blog post..Matt Damon
i love a story that includes free beer.
jennis last blog post..The One Where I Turn into a Teenager
Daddy Dan says:
Maddie already has good taste in TV shows!
And you should already be reading her bedtime stories. At first it won’t seem like she’s paying much attention, but she will. Bedtime stories are the highlight of my evening and I hate missing that one-on-one time.
Daddy Dans last blog post..Daddy Dan Interviews…..Jenn from Free and Flawed
Oh sure – they all SAY they want a sibling until you bring two home from the hospital. Then it’s all, “when are they leaving?” Oh wait – that was my son…
I LOVE the bar story. I will probably tell it to people – at the very least, my husband.
They can’t send you to hell for free beer! I’m calling the pope about that one just to be clear.
Jims last blog post..Memed Again
Nobody goes to hell for winning free beer!
Bonnies last blog post..Happiness
Becky Mochaface says:
You do what you have to for free beer. No judgment for that. There’s a lot I would do for a free beer. Like shamelessly flirt and push my cleavage up. Not that I’ve done it before. Yeah.
Becky Mochafaces last blog post..Pushing Daisies S2ep3
Who doesn’t love The Office. Also, there’s no shame in free beer.
That post is a trilogy of awesomeness. I love your dad’s bedtime story. My dad is dyslexic, so when it was his turn to read to me, he just picked up the book and made up stories based on the pictures. Man, that really hacked me off.
HeatherPrides last blog post..Footsteps
1) Start reading stories to her now, man. I like reading to Tyler, because I’ve NEVER read them, so it’s all new to me.
2) Seriously? That worked more than once? You rock!
3) I love puppies…. that’s friggin adorable.
Joes last blog post..Give me back my milestones
Fiesty Charlie says:
As a former bartender, I have to say, I love that you have used it so much! You are not going to hell… Eventually the bartender will catch on! Maybe!
Fiesty Charlies last blog post.."S" Words…
When it comes to bedtime stories, its never too early to start them. I read all mine bedtime stories from the moment they were able to sit upright by themselves next to me. They say that its a wonderful way to introduce reading and could make them smarter. I dunno, so far my two oldest are a couple grades ahead when it comes to reading. I don’t have the proverbial stupid kid though that I didn’t read to and could compare results. Our main motivation is the fact that we are book nerds and read as much as possible.
HAHAHAHA at your trick to getting free beer!! I may have to remember that if it ever comes my way.
Jen W says:
I say if you were able to pull that trick on the same bartender more than once and he fell for it, then you totally deserve the free beer!
Jen Ws last blog post..I’m guessing this song might be called, "Your eyes are locked. You can’t see me." (sub title- "Don’t touch me.")