Recently called “the most prominent home-schooler in America” by the Los Angeles Times, Rick Santorum has suggested that he would cut federal funding for education and encourage Americans to home school their children. This got my attention because it is not entirely unrealistic that he will be our next president, and to be frank, I have always found the concept of home schooling to be a bit wacky. But then last week I saw on Facebook that a college friend I respect and know to be very intelligent is homeschooling, and it made me wonder: could homeschooling be best for our kids?
Overcoming my apprehension about homeschooling is not going to be easy. As a former teacher, it strikes me as a bit arrogant for a parent to think they can teach their child better than a credentialed teacher. To become a teacher I had to get a masters’ degree in education, pass a four hour credential test, and then spend six months student teaching. People often dismiss what teachers do and assume they can do it themselves just as well, but the reality is that teachers are trained professionals doing a job much more difficult and nuanced than it looks from the outside.
Another problem I have with homeschooling is that our public school system offers kids a lot of benefits that the home cannot. Technology labs, art studios, gymnasiums and sports fields, counselors, resources for students with learning difficulties… the list goes on and on.
Lastly, I think it is important that kids interact with their peers and not be isolated at home. Kids need to experience the bumps and bruises of a social group; to learn the lessons of working together. There’s also all of the things the home schooled will miss – rites of passage like prom, football games, and school plays.
Maddie: An early proponent of home schooling
Home schooling is not without its benefits, however. One-on-one attention from a parent can be tremendously helpful to a child, especially when class sizes continue to grow due to cutbacks and funding problems. Teachers today have more students and less resources, and the quality of our kids’ education is hurting because of it.
Another positive of home schooling is that parents can individualize the curriculum for their child. This allows a kid to focus on his or her strengths and weaknesses, and not be at the mercy of a more generalized curriculum that aims to educate forty kids of differing needs all at the same time.
There’s also the disturbing problem of bullying in our schools. It’s horrific to think about how many kids are committing suicide because of abuse heaped upon them at school. That fact, combined with horror of school shootings, means that our schools are a much scarier place than they ever should be.
Despite this, I still think Annie will benefit most from attending public school, and I also worry that moving our society toward home schooling would benefit the rich and middle class (who have the financial resources and education to successfully home school), but be inequitable to the poor.
While I am still a proponent of traditional education, I am definitely more open to home schooling than I was before. Our kids are lagging behind the rest of the world. Maybe it is time for another approach?
Jenn says:
I think this is one of those “To Each Their Own” kind of decisons but one thing I DO know for SURE is….Whatever decision you and Heather make, Annie is going to be GREAT! With your skills as a teacher and Heather’s skills an advocate Annie is covered…not every little kid is as lucky!! xo
Carole W says:
There is also the issue about who’s paying for the home you are schooling in when you are in it all day teaching your child. Is President Santorum going to be paying everyone a proper wage to pay the mortgage with? No? You amaze me!
Pattie says:
Exactly what I was thinking!
Betsy says:
BINGO
Paula says:
Ditto!
Jennifer Pletcher says:
Agree!!!
Betsy says:
As a parent who has just started to homeschool, I do have to point out that there are a) online programs you can use to get those masters degreed educators to help when you are in over your head, b) homeschool co-ops where parents who excel at math can teach the group while those of us that were art majors lead the art projects, while the kids get a chance to socialize and play.
Homeschooling does not isolate a child from his or her peers. We do gym class at a homeschooling group at the local gymnastics place, we attend the co-op, we have play dates. It can be an amazing thing when done properly.
jewl says:
Betsy,
“properly” is the key term here. I, for one, could not do it. I think I am a great mother, but part of what makes me a great mother is a little bit of a break from my kids and a job that puts food on our table. For those of you who can do it and do it well, more power to ya. I think its such an individual choice, each to their own, but not this girl. NOR do I think the government should make this choice for us.
Maria Keil says:
Then that is not home schooling if you participate in activities with other people.
Brandy K says:
Yes, it IS home schooling if you participate with other people, what a silly thing to say! What if you home school more than one child – is that not home schooling? My sister-in-law home schooled her daughter until just recently when divorce forced her to work outside the home (Santorum, how are you gonna fix cheating husbands leaving their wives?). She did most curriculum at home but also had her daughter do sports with other home schoolers or at the local school. It is actually a good way to get home schoolers the social interaction they need.
jenifer says:
You are so terribly mis-informed on homeschooling.
Linn says:
I sort of hope that someone who spells misinformed with a hyphen isn’t a home schooler.
Kate says:
I saw a lot of spelling errors and typos in the posts defending homeschooling, and I admittedly got a bit scared!
Mary @ Parenthood says:
My comment has at least one typo too. In my case it’s because I generally comment via iPhone. There are other reasons spelling and grammar may not be perfect in a blog post reply. Also, I’ve met relatively few teachers with impeccable grammar. Those that do did not acquire their abilities from teacher’s college…
Kate says:
And so, I’m not allowed to question the credibility of these individuals?
I and a dear friend of mine are both teaching assistants at our professional school. I am independently good friends with one of his students. Recently, when talking to this student, he told me that the first e-mail he ever received from his TA contained a massive grammar error. Now, could it have been an “excusable” error? Sure. But did it change the way this student looked at his TA? Absolutely.
Call me a perfectionist, but pervasive errors by those charged with educating other people – at any level! – make me nervous. I don’t care if you teach kindergarten or in an MBA program. And I’m allowed to question the credibility of people who make those kinds of errors.
Heather says:
I am a homeschooling parent know has noticed the same thing. We’re not perfect, but some of us are homeschooling for the wrong reason.
Kate says:
I think that’s something we can both agree on. And I think that parents need to be able to recognize when they don’t have the capacity to reach their children’s needs. I know that I personally can’t teach calculus. I think some people need to realize their own limitations.
Maria says:
Ha!
Noelle says:
Most homeschooling parents DO know their limitations. Any responsible homeschool parent will find reliable resources to assist their child’s education when faced with a task or subject they feel incapable of teaching. Just because a parent uses a co-op or study group to aid homeschooling doesn’t mean they’re incompetent or “not homeschooling”. That’s like saying a teacher is a total failure if one students needs tutoring or extra help in a particular subject. (And who among us hasn’t Googled something at work or asked a co-worker to help out?)
Not everyone has the same learning abilities but public schools don’t have the time or resources to tailor education and curriculum to every child’s needs. A parent who has undertaken the gargantuan task of educating their child and preparing them for college DOES have that opportunity. Keep in mind the difference between homeschooling and UNschooling. Most homeschool parents are just trying to supply their kids with the best possible educational opportunities. Kind of like a really tiny private school
As Mike said, he had to earn his teaching credentials to qualify him to teach a CLASSROOM full of children. So no, a parent probably couldn’t walk in off the street and teach that same classroom. But that same parent knows their own child best and can certainly be qualified to educate him/her.
And no, I’m not a homeschool parent, but I’ve really considered it. I would love to spend another 30 hours a week with my daughter. I also believe if done properly homesechooling can be an amazing adventure.
Diane says:
Ah, homeschooling. I can’t deny that I’m against it for about 95% of kids. I truly feel it’s just not a viable option for most Americans. I don’t know of one family who has the ability to support themselves on one income, a parent who has mastered each subject enough to be able to comfortably teach it (even with online and textbook aids) well and without bias, AND (capitalized because I mean the combo of these three, not just one) is able to fully support the needs of the child that is (usually) taken care of by the school (a variety of diverse peers, extracurriculars, specialized education plans, etc.)
Those families that are capable of these three things, go ahead! Please homeschool! I’m sure it’s very rewarding to give your child(ren) such a personalized and well-rounded education.
But, in my opinion, the vast majority of families cannot provide for their children what regular schooling can. (Note that I said CAN, not does)
Mary @ Parenthood says:
If you cast your mind back to your classes, how many years were devoted to topics that are only relevant in a classroom context? (My sister’s classes contained a significant percentage)
It’s frequently opined that homeschooling is an elitist activity; the domain of the stable, rich or at least two parent family. That does not have to be the case. Single moms and working parents have both been known to homeschool (never heard of a single dad doing so but doesn’t mean it’s impossible). In fact, we are strongly considering homeschooling, despite the fact that we both work full time.
I’m not quite sure what resources you used to form your opinions on homeschooling, but one of the reasons we might homeschool is to avoid the issue of teachers stating “facts” about various things without any justification. I have many family members in the education field whom I love to pieces, but I think one of the unfortunate things they learned in school is a tendency to present their opinions as fact. Those who feel themselves less qualified are more likely to look things up.
There are disadvantages to homeschooling. You could find out why most of the concerns you mention aren’t considered problematic with about five minutes of research.
An “arrogant” single mom who has the initiative to homeschool (or even a stay at home mom with all the time in the world, if that exists) has to be engaged in their child’s education in a way that a parent who decides to outsource everything is not. A society where educating children is the responsibility of professionals expects all the have common values and worldviews. We don’t live in such a place.
Auntie_M says:
I have an AA degree in Early Childhood Education and a BA in Liberal Studies for Teaching. I have taught in schools and have been hired to home-school for parents who wanted their child educated at home but didn’t believe themselves competent to do so themselves.
I have to say I agree with all the Mary @ Parenthood says (above).
I must say I can’t recommend enough that homeschooled children be placed in some sort of outside social activity–whether it is a sport or dance class, or art classes, or Boy or Girl Scouts or something of the sort. I think these sort of outside social situations are critical to a child’s development.
But I also agree with what Mike initially said~homeschooling just isn’t for some people. Some parents aren’t well suited to it and, equally, some children aren’t.
Parents know their children (or ought to!) best and between public schools, private schools, home schools, and co-ops, I believe parents can educate themselves and decide which option is best for their family.
Alexandra says:
Okay, first of all, while that picture of Madeline is absolutely ADORABLE, I wouldn’t exactly call her a proponent of homeschooling when she’s wearing an “I can’t read” shirt and holding a book upside down, just saying!
I was homeschooled from first grade to tenth grade and I can tell you that if you do decide to homeschool Annabel (or any kid) the absolute most important thing you can do is make sure they have a life outside of your home in some form. Sign them up for extracurricular activities. Send them out to play with other little boys and girls in the neighborhood (or at least your friends’ kids). My mother homeschooled me in near isolation. I spent most of my childhood and all of my adolescence feeling lonely and mostly depressed. Then when I began attending high school, things didn’t get any better for a year because when I was around other kids I felt like I was speaking a different language from them and they all thought I was the weirdest person on earth. This was partly because I was not used to interacting with people my age-at all-and it was partly because of the fact that my mom’s aversion to modern popular culture only added to my weirdness. I didn’t listen to any music except for Taylor Swift and couldn’t tel lthe difference between Glee and high school musical or Justin Beiber and Justin Timberlake or Hillary Duff and Lizzy McGuire, but I knew all the stars from Gilligan’s Island and the plot of most I Dream Of Jeannie episodes. As tempting as it may be to raise your kids on the beloved TV shows you grew up with, DON’T DO IT if you decide to homeschool them. Or at least mix them up with more modern TV shows. Not knowing anything about popular culture really took away from my already hampered ability to communicate with other people my age. I was never bullied, largely because my high school is an arts school that will kick people out for bullying or harrassment even at it’s mildest. But I wasn’t any less alone than I was as a homeschool kid. Two years later, I STILL have problems with social skills sometimes that I know I wouldn’t have if I’d never been homeschooled (even my therapist said so).
As for bullying, yes, this is a horrifying issue. I have several friends who go to other schools or went to other schools in the past who’ve dealt with bullying and I know it’s possible for even just one other person to make your life a living hell if they want to for any reason. One friend of mine was afraid to go to school every day in elementary school because one boy in her class made fun of her crooked teeth nonstop all day long. I also knew an eleven-year-old girl who called me and told me she was going to kill herself because her classmates bullied her for being a lesbian (she’s in treatment now). And that’s before it gets to middle school and high school where the bigger boys get bigger and the girls group themselves into clicks and the real fun starts. *sarcasm* But I wouldn’t homeschool my kid just because there’s a chance of them being bullied. Give them a chance to do well in the public school social environment first. That’s just my suggestion as a former homeschooled student.
Rebecca says:
Very well stated! I think you touched on just about every concern/issue I have with homeschooling, in a way that was surprisingly unbiased for your experiences. I’m sorry you had to go through all of that, but it most definitely seems to have at least made you a stronger, more self aware person.
Auntie_M says:
Alexandra! Bless your heart! Your story just broke my heart! That’s the worst of side of homeschooling possible! Your writing shows great strength of character and ability to overcome!
Kate says:
On the one hand, Mike, you kind of have just done the thing that people our age do when homeschooling is mentioned: you went straight to the stereotypes that haven’t been true since we were kids. A lot of the “freaky kids who never come out of their basement to play baseball with the rest of us” stuff is long, long in the past, and really was already out the door by the time our generation was in high school. Between curriculum that is available to parents, state regulation of homeschooling (which is not everywhere yet, I don’t think, but is a-comin’), and groups of homeschooling parents who have their children meet up and interact. There are a lot more homeschoolers than there were when we were kids and a lot more reasons than the ones I think people generally fell back on then, too. (Almost every homeschooled kid I knew when I was young was homeschooled for religious reasons.)
I think there are other problems with homeschooling. Schools teach a lot more than just our reading, writing, and ‘rithmitic, and I’ve known students to come to high school after years of being homeschooled and not being able to handle the sudden change in their educational circumstances. Going from being one of 3 students at home to one of 35 in a classroom without the hand-tailored attention is really hard for some kids, especially if they haven’t been properly prepared (socially and structurally) for high school – and some aren’t. And that’s the other problem, I think: even the best-intentioned parent in the world may not be able to adequately prepare some children for the world (or college) as a homeschooling parent. I think of myself, and how miserably underprepared my mother would’ve been to homeschool me simply because of the speed and energy with which I picked up the material. Hell, she couldn’t handle me home for the summer and routinely forced me into community summer school because I was obnoxious and bored in the house! I honestly do not think she, even with curriculum that she herself did not develop, could’ve given me the stimulation I needed. And the reverse is true: the “average” parent may not be able to handle a child with learning or other disabilities in a homeschool context.
(We can now argue as to whether schools handle those students well.)
It’s a very complicated issue, and I think Santorum has the wrong idea simply for the reason that homeschooling has to be an individualized choice based on individualized needs. Underfunding an already-struggling system in order to coerce people into homeschooling – a lot of whom could not afford it or don’t know enough about it to make an informed decision! – is ridiculous. I would like the Republican party to figure out that the way to fix education is not to cut funding to it. Seriously, what is wrong with these people?
My last comment is a broad one: I find the mere idea of removing children from the school system to avoid bullying absolutely horrendous. The way to fix bullying and harrassment is not to remove the children with involved, interested parents – the very children someone would fight for. Those kids need to be in school so their parents are “in school”, and can help the kids stand up for themselves and their peers. It makes me so angry that the automatic answer is to take the kid out of school. The answer is to go to the mattresses. Full stop.
Susan says:
My parents did remove me partly because of bullying. It was not a mistake.
They called teachers. They talked to me about standing up for myself. They got involved. Year after year, long story short, it either did nothing or, in one instance, was a massive disaster.
It is not so easy. I do agree that kids need to stand up for themselves on occasions, but please understand that kids being pulled out of school because of bullying is not just because their parents don’t want to get involved or fight for their children. Perhaps they have, and it didn’t work. That was my case, and I do not regret leaving, and I do not resent my parents for doing so.
Kate says:
Susan, I apologize. I realize that my comment was entirely unclear because what I meant was not removing a child after a battle has been fought and things have gone awry, but the prophylactic attitude of “I will not even CONSIDER sending my child to public school because of bullies!” that is so prevalent these days.
I have several friends with children who refuse to even entertain the idea of sending their child to school because they might be bullied. I also know a few people who, the first time their child had a cross word or a bad encounter, pulled their child from public school and enrolled that child in private school – without even attempting to address the problem at the school level.
And it terrifies me, as a former teacher, that all these educated, involved parents apparently think the answer to the bullying problem is to just try to circumvent it. I totally understand that sometimes, it just does get too bad to handle and it’s easier for everyone (especially the child) to take the school out of the equation. But I think the idea of not even attempting school because there may be bullies is just damaging the school system and limiting accountability on kids who might bully by taking out the children who will (themselves or through parents) stand up against the bullies.
If that makes sense.
Kate says:
Easier AND HEALTHIER, I should add.
Susan says:
Ah, I see. Yes, I agree with that. Thank you for hearing me out and clarifying.
I think people should at least give public school a chance, rather than just deny them any experience with it altogether.
Becca says:
“I also worry that moving our society toward home schooling would benefit the rich and middle class (who have the financial resources and education to successfully home school), but be inequitable to the poor.”
I find this to be the problem with what Mr. Santorum is saying. Homeschooling could work for some, yes. But you do need to have a certain educational responsibility that many do not have when they have children. I used to work in child protective services, and let me tell you, there are many… MANY families out there that are not capable of educating their children.
There are some benefits, yes. But mandating homeschooling will result in a country of un/miseducated individuals.
Vica says:
I struggle with this issue as well and if done properly I feel homeschooling would and can be great. But you hit on a great point, pushing more people to homeschool could put a strain on families who are in lower incomes brackets. I have worked in some low income schools and you can barely get some parents to help kids with homework let alone make them responsible for an entire child’s education.
While mom’s here have some great comments about how good home schooling can be and I agree with them. Think of how terrible it could be on a large scale with a large group of parents who are not qualified and don’t want to home school but now have to.
Carolyn says:
I completely agree. I have a BA in Elementary Education, but after teaching in the public school system have chosen to educate my children at home. There are several different reasons behind our decision to do so, but they are all very personal and based on our own unique family situation. I do not believe that homeschooling should be forced on anyone. How we educate our children should be decided after much consideration and thought. It would concern me greatly if people were forced to homeschool who did not feel prepared or able to do so. I only see that leading to many problems. I taught in a title one school where the majority of the children came from below poverty level families. It was such a struggle to get parents to care about their children’s education. Frankly I do not think most would have been able to educate their children in a way that would provide any type of success in our culture. Many did not speak English and were uneducated themselves.
I love homeschooling my children. We have our days, but so do teachers in the school systems. It has been an incredibly rewarding experience and we have bonded in a way that I don’t think would have happened if I had put my children in the school system. I am not set on schooling for any specific number of years. We are simply taking this process one year at a time. I believe you must know your children and constantly evaluate what type of education would be best for them. I personally would have loved being homeschooled, but know for a fact my sister would have hated it. I think the outcome of homeschooling us would have been very different for each of us. I want to be aware of my children’s needs, interests, challenges, behavior issues, learning needs, etc. so that I am constantly changing our approach to meet those.
Valerie says:
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh, you REALLY opened a can of worms here, my friend!!
nicole says:
Warning Mike: many homeschoolers are passionate about what they do, and having to constantly fight stereotypes makes us a bit defensive!!
Good for you for learning more about it even though you were against it! I homeschool and agree that you hit on stereotypes of homeschoolers, the worst being the socialization. I’ve met MANY homeshcooled kids, and have never witnessed a single one being unsocial. They often have BETTER social skills because they are around a lot of grown ups as well as kids. My oldest daughter is taking swimming lessons, ballet, girl scouts, and kids programs at the library. We are also joining a co-op. She is a social butterfly!
But I think if someone has never experienced homeschooling or seen in in action, these are common misconceptions.
When my kids were born I thought I could never do it. My worst subject is history and I was overwhelmed at the thought of teaching it to my kids. Then I discovered the world of curriculum! Now my oldest is 7 and together we are learning about ancient history. She loves it, I now see that history can be fun, and she retains what she learns. So anyone can teach their child, it’s just a matter of of they want to. A lot of co-ops have classes in certain subjects as well.
Also, in my state (and I assume many others) there are laws that allow us as homeschoolers to use public school libraries, be on sports teams, etc.
And one more thing, money has nothing to do with whether or not you can homeschool. Starting out, we were not financially able to do this. So my family makes sacrifices. We don’t have a huge tv with tons of channels (or my favorite shows!), fancy cell phones, and a lot of other stuff I would love to have. To me, it is worth the sacrifice. That doesn’t mean I don’t want some of these things, just that I am willing to wait or do without it right now..and willing to watch some shows online instead
Keep learning about it Mike, you may be surprised what you find out
And Thank You for showing pros and cons and being honest!!
Leslie says:
I’ve watched my dad work in the education field for a long time. He is currently in administration. There are times when he practically has to pull teeth to get a parent to meet with him about their student. These students would be completely lost if their parents were left in charge of their education.
I think homeschooling is fabulous for a lot of families, but money does have a lot to do with it. You may be able to cut tv and cell phones and afford to stay home and homeschool, but for many families they would have to cut electricity, a roof over their head, and food on the table to afford it. Saying that money has NOTHING to do with it is just not true for many families. While homeschooling is fantastic it is not possible for everyone and all circumstances.
Nikki says:
Completely agree. To say that everyone could just cut ‘extra’ expenses and make homeschooling work is misinformed. Many people live without things like tv and cellphones and are still barely able to make ends meet. Not all families are 2 income homes because both parents want to work, many don’t have a choice if they would like to continue providing their children with shelter and food. If you are able to afford to stay home that’s wonderful but it’s simply not an option for everyone and you should be more careful before making such sweeping generalizations.
nicole says:
When I said money has nothing to do with it, I just meant to say that money should not be a reason for not homschooling if it’s what you want. I apologize for my wording. But I DID NOT say that everyone should make these choices. I simply explained how I make it work, to show that it is possible. And I gave EXAMPLES of what we sacrifice to do it. Part of why I am able to make it work is because people shared this information with me. I didn’t mean to offend.
Liz says:
A few months ago my husband and I started looking more closely at the public schools that we’re zoned to, and while we bought our house because it’s in the best school district around, we have started considering homeschooling. I grew up going to public school, but I knew some other kids that were homeschooled so the idea wasn’t completely foreign to me. That being said, I had many of the same concerns that you stated above. But I’ve got to tell you, after doing some research about local co-ops I’m beginning to realize how off base my concerns were. The local co-op I would like to join has at minimum one field trip per week, and one other extra social activity, and most weeks it’s more than that. They have art classes, drama clubs, foreign language classes, and if I feel inadequate to teach a subject to my child I can sign them up to take a class, with a class size of about 10, rather than the typical 30-35 students per class at our local public elementary school. There are a few close community colleges that allow high school students to sign up for classes and earn high school and college credits at the same time.
While I do understand how teachers may be offended by parents homeschooling their children, don’t most of us homeschool our kids in some form or another at some point. I’ve taught my child all the letters and their sounds, numbers, colors, shapes, how to write her first and last name, her address, phone number, and at 4 years old she’s just beginning to read. If I’m qualified enough to do that then why am I not qualified to teach her how to add, subtract, divide, multiply, etc. I certainly know her personality and learning style better than a teacher with 35 other 6 year old students will. I’m not saying that public school teachers aren’t wonderful teachers. I am friends with several teachers from our local Elementary school and I know they are wonderful teachers and very passionate about what they do. But I also know they are very overwhelmed by the class sizes and that they have to cater to the average child. Those students who are ahead or a little behind are frankly out of luck.
Liz says:
I just wanted to add something else. For those so against homeschooling due to the parents lack of ability to teach their children I think the test scores and statistics pretty much speak for themselves.
http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-505145_162-37242551/can-homeschoolers-do-well-in-college/
http://www.hslda.org/docs/nche/000010/200410250.asp
Noelle says:
Liz, If there was a co-op like that available where I lived (trust me, I’ve looked!) I would homeschool my daughter in a heartbeat. I’m so jealous of my friends in other states who have such amazing educational resources at their fingertips AND get to spend so much more time with their kids.
Mommy says:
I’m a teacher and I don’t get offended at all by people wanting to homeschool their children. I think it’s wonderful! I do see that there are some families in my classroom each year who most likely could not ever homeschool, so I don’t think forcing more people to do it by cutting funding for education is the answer.
Stacy says:
I’m sure all get jumped on for this, so let’s me throw out the disclaimer: This is JUST my opinion from my experience! The kids that were homeschooled that would come to my junior high/ high school were extremely socially awkward. In other words, weird. It was as if they’d never been around peers, didn’t know how to interact with others. They seemed noticeably immature(and granted, that’s in comparison to already immature kids). I remember a few painful exchanges my Junior year with 2 homeschooled girls asking me what a French kiss was, then how exactly does sex happen, and what’s a condom?? Completely mortified! Again, maybe it was just the HSK I was exposed to. Maybe most are completely well adjusted and rounded. Maybe it was just the era and things have changed where it’s not the overly sheltered, I dunno. But it seems a bit of a coincidence that the socially awkward I’ve encountered in the workforce have been home schooled as well.
Susan says:
I would say that is coincidence.
Perhaps those particular kids you encountered were already very socially awkward, as some people are, which is why they were home schooled or why home school worked for them personally. Perhaps, in those cases you’ve encountered, they chose home school because they already had difficulty interacting with others. As I mentioned in my original post, I am a shy person, but home school didn’t MAKE me that way. I had years and years of public education before home school, and I stayed and remained kind of “awkward” in public school.
As far as you know, you could have interacted with many people in your day to day life who were home schooled, but you didn’t consider it because they were socially skilled.
Krystal says:
I really disagree. I knew a family full of homeschooled kids who were super weird, and it was because of their homeschooling. They were evangelical Christian homeschoolers, and one of them, at 13, told me that evolution was a lie because Jesus and his friends rode dinosaurs.
Maria Keil says:
Krystal,
Yes that is what I am trying to say. The majority of home schooled kids fall into this category.
Maria
Susan says:
No, they don’t. They really don’t.
Susan says:
As I mentioned elsewhere, there are extreme forms of home schooling that are harmful, but they are the exception. Any research on home schooling would tell you that (which I recommend).
The reason they stand out is because they are so bizarre and out of touch with reality; MOST parents do not want this for their children.
Once more, look at all the comments here. Look at the ones that describe schools through online programs, co-ops, how their children have benefited from home school, or actual home schooled individuals themselves who say they liked it. They are not writing hysterical comments about “Jesus and his friends riding dinosaurs”; they are writing like normal individuals. They all discuss a variety of forms home school can take.
Please, do not take extremists as the norm; that’s a mistake, and not just when applied to home school.
Kim says:
Home-schooling has been very successful for lots of people. And for others it’s been a complete failure. The success or failure is dependent on the people who are choosing to do it and their circumstances.
What really caught my eye here was Rick Santorum declaring that he would CUT school funding. Really, Mr. Santorum? Many public schools in America are barely standing, have one schoolbook shared by 30 students, and overpopulated. I’m sure Mr. Santorum’s Republican friends would be happy to see the money taken away from the nation’s children and put toward the country’s hungry war machine.
MJP says:
I think that home schooling has it’s benefits, but not every parent is qualified to do it. But then again the teachers in our society are falling far short. In the town where I work the high school graduation rate in 50%. How could home schooling be worse than that?
In addition, the teachers union damages the schools ability to have really good teachers. I have a degree in early childhood education, but am in a totally different profession because I could never stomach having to belong to that union.
Melissa says:
Lets just hope Rick Santorum isn’t our next President. That would be VERY scary!!! I belong to a union and am very proud of my union. Do you know the facts as to why the graduation rate is 50%? It can’t be all about the teachers, but perhaps maybe parents who aren’t holding their children accountable and not putting a value on education.
Jennifer Pletcher says:
I agree with you Melissa!
MJP says:
The graduation rate is 50% because the school system assumes that all students are college bound and the ones that are not drop out. What is to be proud of in a union that puts political contributions ahead of all else? Here the teacher consistently tell me that they only get $25 a year for classroom materials. Why wouldn’t the union with their clout work to change that?
Melissa says:
Unions aren’t miracle workers….The union and school board can only negotiate so many things unfortunately. I would rather have health insurance and receive less of a budget for classroom materials, because you can always get creative when it comes to classroom materials. You can’t really get that creative when it comes to health insurance. That is a bummer that kids drop out, but again where are the parents making their children attend school.
Cara says:
Homeschooling is one of those things, I guess. It suits some children- it’s BETTER for some children, but for others it can be torture. Most parents I know have gotten their children involved in clubs so the kids have plenty of friends and a balance of social and academic activities at home.
The fact that our kids are lagging behind the rest of the world….well, that’s compeltely (imo) to do with the school system. A home-schooled child following the American school system might be better off as the parent could teach faster with one-on-one time, but only marginally.
My friend’s son grew up in the British school system. He’s considered “average” and usually gets Bs (sometimes Cs in some subjects, sometimes As but never A+). He took the SAT recently and scored 2180 with no practise, no tutor and no school help. In fact he forgot that he had to take the SATs and showed up in the nick of time. He said the math was things he’s covered and it wasn’t too hard. This to me was an indication of the discrepancy between different school systems and the American one.
Sara says:
I think there are valid arguments on both sides of this debate. I wonder though, what happens to middle class families like mine? My husband and I both work. We can’t afford to not work. How could we be expected to teach our children at home and still provide for our family? And what about single parents? They are in the same boat but with just one income supporting the family. How can they be expected to stay home and teach when they have to work? And what about those borderline homes – the ones where the only good meals a student might get during the days is at school? Or where there is possibly a neglectful or abusive parent or family member at home and school is the only respite for them? I think Santorum’s statements about homeschool are nice in a lofty setting but cannot possibly work for the variety of needs our country has. I seriously home he does not become our next president.
Noelle says:
Really thought-provoking and compassionate comment, Sarah!
Alicia says:
I am a previous elementary school teacher, who now stays at home with my daughter and future children. Honestly, being in the school system has actually led me to WANT to homeschool my children. I saw what was going on in the schools, classrooms, and districts, and honestly its not something I want to expose my children to. There are great teachers out there, but there are some pretty crappy ones as well. Add that to a culture of bullying, inappropriate behavior, and poor discipline in schools I fear for some children’s safety, even in elementary school. I had kids throw chairs at me. In second grade. I had kids flip me off, swear at me, and make sexually explicit comments at me. In a nice neighborhood.
I feel perfectly qualified to teach my daughter anything she needs to know, and what I don’t know I can seek outside help or learn myself. I have a degree, and so does my husband, but my cousin is currently homeschooling her son with her GED and he is thriving and learning, and doing much better than he did in a public setting.
As far as the socialization comment goes, that annoys me as much as people who tell me I need to put my toddler in daycare so she can properly socialize. We are very active in playgroups, MOPS groups, and have friends we socialize with on a regular basis. If and when we decide to homeschool I have already found several homeschooling groups in the area that we can participate in, and also have always planned no matter how we educate for our children to participate in extracurricular sports and activities.
I have no problem with how people choose to educate their children, but I hate when people judge other people choices, especially when they are misinformed about them. I don’t care if other people send their kids to public, private, montessori, homeschool, whatever, as long as that child is receiving and education and thriving, and I think you should work to do the same.
Mike says:
Hi Alicia,
I mentioned some of the problems with our school system that turned you on to home schooling in my post. There definitely are a lot of problems, and I can certainly understand seeking alternatives. I will say, however, that I was not judging anyone for home schooling as you imply. I mentioned many of the positives of home schooling and closed by saying I am much more open to it as an option now than ever before.
Laura says:
Same here! I’m a teacher, and while I don’t have kids yet, being in the school is what makes home schooling so attractive to me! I do see pros and cons to each side, but right now, I’m leaning towards teaching my future kids at home.
AMY says:
I have a friend that is considering home schooling her kids and, like you, I immediately went straight to past stereotypes. She tells me its because her little brother was one of those that “slipped through the cracks” in high school and had it not been for their mom making sure he graduated (tutoring him, etc) he would never have made it. She feels that no one could possibly care about her kids education more than her and her husband, so who better to teach them?
Susan says:
I have and continue to attend school online for what will soon be about a decade. Not “home school” by the way you have defined it, but still entirely at home.
I left public school because I felt alienated, and on the occasions where bullying did occur, the teachers did nothing, and I couldn’t handle it. I did not learn socialization skills; I learned to keep quiet and hide so kids wouldn’t pick on me. (Side note: if you have it, you should really forever rid yourself of any mental image of an extremist, anti-social, intolerant adult some people picture home-school kids becoming). Looking for an alternative, I found online school, and it was one of the best decisions I have ever made. My self-esteem and self-confidence were improved immeasurably, and I’ve been on honors since my first semester attending online education. I am a shy person, so home school didn’t limit my social abilities (I am naturally quiet), but I still get along with people and have a generally positive idea of others. Home school didn’t limit my ability to tolerate other people’s opinions; I continue to be “to each their own” on most all matters. I have found I am generally capable of teaching myself with just a textbook and a syllabus, but if I do get stuck, I have the option of e-mailing the teacher.
Home school isn’t for everyone, but neither is public or other forms of school. It’s appropriateness varies from kid to kid, and that should be the ultimate judgement on whether or not it is “ok”.
Krystal says:
I”m sorry that you went through this, but I think it’s really unfair that you are claiming that there are no extremists. I’m sorry, but you are completely wrong.
I grew up evangelical and met many homeschoolers that way, and many of them were horrible, strange, and would not be able to function in polite society. I know that it probably makes other homeschoolers upset, but these stereotypes aren’t always fake. IMO.
Liz says:
I think her point was that times have changed, and while there may still be some extremist homeschoolers, they are by far the minority.
Susan says:
This is true. I have studied the matter in articles from academic journals, and from what I have read, the extremists ARE the exception.
Holly says:
I think the more one knows – and the more traditionally educated one is, the more one realizes that one can’t possibly be qualified enough to teach their own child with proper teaching credentials and education.
Just because I know how to read, write, and do math through calculus and have an MS in Biology doesn’t mean I know a damn thing about explaining it to someone else. I would never presume to do so. As a country, we have long since moved past the “you can teach whatever grade you’ve taken yourself”. My husband is a high school teacher, both my parents are elementary school teachers, and you can bet your life our kids will be going to public school – not because it is a perfect system, but because it is the standard option for mass-education in our country and with involved parents who CARE about education, children are sure to go far.
If my husband had a nickel for every parent who blames him for their kid not doing homework, or being truant, or otherwise failing at school, he would be a rich man. And the kids learn nothing but “oh, my mom will yell at my teacher for me no matter what I do, even when it’s my fault”, and the administration bends. Sorry kids, but that won’t fly in a real job or in the real world.
Kate says:
One of the biggest problems I had as a teacher is that I am very highly educated and it’s incredibly hard for me to explain it to someone else! I taught writing, which has always been my best subject, and it was almost impossible for me to break it down into pieces that my high school students (many of whom were not performing at grade level) understood. A friend once told me that really smart people do not stay teachers for long, and I think it’s mostly because, when something comes easily to you, it’s actually harder for you to teach it. (I still have that problem now, as a teacher’s aide at my law school!)
I think a lot of our educational problems lies in the fact that many parents are too busy (usually with work) to be invested in their children’s education. It adds friction to the entire system: kids don’t do homework or come to school, they fall behind, the teacher has to slow the entire class to meet those needs, et cetera. As much as we want to blame funding gaps alone as to why kids from “nice areas” do better than inner-city kids, it’s also because kids from nice areas usually have parents who work less (and both parents involved!) and can take the initiative within their child’s education. And while I’ve of course known many single parents or working class parents or working-three-jobs parents who deeply care about the educational success of their child, I also know many who just cannot take time out of earning the money that will keep the lights on to come meet with teachers about student success. And we as a society have to figure out an answer to that problem – or if not an answer, a work-around.
(Sorry. This reply got rambly. I just wanted to say I agreed and then…it all went out of control.)
Sara says:
I wish I read your comment before I wrote my own. It’s all too true. And it just brings home that point I was trying to get across that when a child is traditionally educated, the parent must be an active, present figure in a child’s education, working WITH teachers to determine the best course of action for the child. Then it’s up to the kid to do the rest.
Holly says:
Ergh – “withOUT proper teaching credentials and education. “
Bampa says:
If we are pro choice then we should believe in the freedom of choice. If we choose to home school our children, then we are taking responsibility for their education and all the obligations including costs. If we choose to home school, we are not “stiffing” public education. Many of us haven’t had school aged children for years but most of us are still required to support public education. In my 14 year association with public and private school education, I found that generally children that had to enter the classroom from the non traditional educational setting were academically way ahead of most of their peers. There were those who had trouble adjusting and there were those who adjusted just fine. It was about the same as any child who had been re-located from another school. If a parent shouldn’t be allowed to home school because it’s an advantage for their child, should we then close private schools and prohibit tutors? I’m pro choice
SCC says:
I kind of feel like in all of the defenses of homeschooling, the comments have kind of been glossing over one of your most important points: “I also worry that moving our society toward home schooling would benefit the rich and middle class (who have the financial resources and education to successfully home school), but be inequitable to the poor.” Personally, I would not choose to homeschool for a variety of reasons, but that is my choice, just as other people choose to homeschool. To be honest, the idea of Rick Santorum cutting federal funding to our already underfunded schools and overworked teachers makes me livid. I’m lucky enough to be in a place that I would be ok. I could send my kids to private school. I’m educated enough to homeschool them, although I don’t think that’s the route I would take. But what about all of the parents who work multiple jobs to get their kids enough to eat? What about the parents for whom English is a second language? Are their children just not going to receive an education? There is already an appalling lack of inequality in public school education and this would do absolutely nothing to solve that. It would only make it worse. I live in New York City, where they are opening charter schools with new equipment in the SAME BUILDING as pre-existing schools. It’s called co-location. This means shoving kids into half of their school building so a new school can open in the other half. Students in one half of the building are watching their peers being educated in their own school building using new resources, technology, and equipment and thinking that they are obviously not worthy of being given the same opportunities. These are the problems that we need to be working toward solving in education, and taking money away and burying our heads in the sand of homeschooling is just not the answer. Yes, my kids would be ok, but for me it’s not just about my kids. Everyone deserves a quality education, and while we’re certainly not there yet, this “idea” of Rick Santorum’s would only serve to increase the immense inequality that is rampant in our country. So while I’m finding all of these defenses of homeschooling interesting, and while I think that it’s important not to stereotype homeschooling, it’s all kind of missing the point–you CHOSE to homeschool, you weren’t forced to. I think other parents deserve that same respect.
kmom says:
Yes! This is it! It isn’t just about me and my kids….to have a decent society we have to be concerned about everyone and their kids.
Thanks for saying this!
Kris says:
Where is the like button for this? We think there is an inequality now? I can’t imagine how forcing some to homeschool their kids would help with this, but I can readily imagine how it might hurt.
I teach at an inner city community college, and I am trying to imagine how my adult students (average age is around 26; many are single parents) would swing this additional responsibility, along with being full time students themselves and working full time in order to keep their families afloat.
Sara says:
I’m neither for nor against homeschooling, but I come from a long line of teachers (seriously, my family could open a private school and there would be a teacher to cover all topics; there’s even a librarian!). My kids will go to a public school because I have a fundamental belief in the quality of teachers. (Administrators, well, that’s a different story.)
However, I think the number one thing to take away from the whole school choice debate is that the parents must be present and advocates for their children. If you want to homeschool, fantastic, but make sure your children are learning everything they need to and not just focusing on their strengths/what you want them to learn. If you choose to send them to a school, also great, but don’t just assume that the teacher is taking care of things and you can step back. Ask questions, find out what’s going on in the classroom, and if necessary, work with the teachers to make a plan to best help your child (a plan that you, as a parent, will probably have to work on in your free time since there isn’t a whole lot of individual time for the teacher to spend with your child). Just be present. Be a participant in your child’s education no matter how they are getting that education.
And on that note, I’ll end my rant before it gets too preachy.
Laurel says:
I am assuming by your stereotypical assumptions and “concerns” you know quite a few homeschoolers as well, you have done research before writing this article? It’s a same when people follow the heard and stick with the stereotypes and just assume that’s okay. It’s not and it’s a bummer to read this after loving your blog. I know people are always scared of the unknown and it’s easy to jump on the band wagon of typical uninformed thoughts but do some real life research next time.
Mike says:
Hi Laurel,
I wrote this post hoping to start discussion on the subject and hear opinions from people like you (who I assume has first hand experience with home schooling). As I pointed out in the post I see some very real positives to home schooling, and with our school system the way it is alternatives need to be explored. As a former teacher, I am, of course, biased toward traditional schooling, but open to alternatives.
Mike says:
Hi Laurel,
My perspective here was trying to present my thoughts on the subject while acknowledging the pros and cons of both traditional schooling and home schooling. As a teacher, I still believe in the school system for my daughter, but said I am open to the prospects of home schooling. I will say this though… the concerns I presented are the ones the general public worries about, and even though they may seem “stereotypical” to the home schooling community, they are very real to the general public. Luckily, many commenters here have done a good job sharing their experiences and dispelling these notions. I’d love to hear why and how home schooling works for you.
Aimee says:
Most of the “cons” that most people list about homeschooling simply aren’t true. There are so many resources, so many other homeschoolers from so many walks of life, we really aren’t living some kind of crazy hermit life. My daughter is happy and bright and has lots of friends of different ages and from different walks of life. We have happily made the sacrifice of my income so that we can homeschool. We simplified our lives so that we can afford this because we feel nothing we can buy with my salary is more valuable than the lifestyle we’ve created for our family.
I’m proud and confident in our choice, my child is thriving in a rich community of homeschoolers. It does sometimes get old, addressing, yet again, the “socialization” issue, and listening to a whole host of weird things people say to me, chiefly, “Oh, I could never do that, I couldn’t stand to be around my kids all day.” I’m often asked, “how will she go to college?” Homeschooled kids DO go to college, and do just fine, often better than their traditionally schooled peers.
For more understanding on homeschooling, I highly recommend books by John Holt and John Taylor Gatto
I would never presume to make a judgment about anyone else’s choices. Homeschooling is fantastic for us, but not everyone wants this life.
Mike says:
Hi Aimee,
Thank you for intelligent comment. As many home school parents have mentioned above, there are things like co-ops and the like that help avoid the past problems of home schooling. I too don’t believe in judging anyone’s choices, and while there have been a couple comments here saying I’ve done just that, my post is about discussing the subject and saying what I perceive to be the pros and cons of each.
Aimee says:
Maybe you can understand that we sometimes feel like we are constantly on the defensive. People have said amazingly ignorant and rude things to me about homeschooling, in front of my daughter even. I think many of us have a knee-jerk reaction from all the times people imply our kids are going to turn out weird, etc.
Although I didn’t think your post was terribly informed (ahem), I didn’t feel it was judgmental, but I totally get where others are coming from.
Even though homeschooling is becoming more and more popular, we are still a very small minority and I think sometimes, it is more alienating for the parents than the kids.
Mike says:
I definitely can understand being on the defensive, and I’m sorry you have been subjected to such ignorant comments. Rude/ignorant comments seem to be par for the course with things people don’t understand. I know that, since Maddie passed, I have had to get used to people saying things that are rude or ignorant about what I’m going through, even when they are well meaning.
As for whether my post was “terribly informed,” I admit it wasn’t. I was relying more on my perceptions of home schooling, and I’ve learned a lot today from the comments. To do it right, however, as many commenters seem to be doing, it appears to be an even larger task than I imagined.
Christa says:
We homeschooled our girls for 3 years when the oldest was entering middle school and the youngest was entering 4th grade. Our youngest was receiving speech therapy 4 days a week during math/language times. Since she was out of class, she was falling considerably behind in both subjects. We pulled them at the end of the school year and set it so that the next year she would still receive 4 days of speech but we would teach her all other subjects at home so she didn’t continue to fall behind.
She is now in the 10th grade and is a pre-AP student in all areas. She needed extra attention and one-on-one instruction. When she finished speech, we enrolled them back into public school the following year. We did what was best for her at the time.
Homeschooling isn’t for everyone. I think the best things you can do are to know your option (computer vs book instruction), know your child and how they learn best, and trust your judgement.
Heather says:
Okay, in order! Brace yourself.
1. More and more intelligent, educated parents are choosing homeschool. The simple fact is, not every school is a ‘good’ school and some parents have the access, means and desire to homeschool effectively. We are some of those parents.
2. “Technology labs, art studios, gymnasiums and sports fields, counselors, resources for students with learning difficulties” Are you kidding me? Pull your head out of your rear end! My kids attend tech fairs where 8 year old have built working robots out of tools and toys from their own home. They attend art classes, both private and in groups of 10-15 kids. Tuesday afternoon we meet with 20 other families in our region to have a gym class that two of the families organize in a free to use gymnasium. We offer a co-op program to the university Kin students so that they can get what THEY need to get an in school degree. We have the same available for indoor soccer on Friday and these same families meet all summer to continue the activity. My kids have more counselors (often other hs parents, nonhs parents) then they can count. You know why? Because they’ve been taught that adults are approachable and helpful, not authoritarian. I have yet to meet a spec-ed parent who hasn’t paid for occupational therapy and learning resources for their spec-ed kid. The difference? HS’d kids aren’t made to feel ridiculed for their needs like a lot of main streamed kids are.
3. Isolated? If a homeschooling family is isolating their kids, then they’re not doing things correctly. I’ve met some of these ‘isolated’ kids and it isn’t pretty. Almost everyone we associate with (in both of our regional HS groups) know that socialization is critical. I should point out that many of the families we meet with have kids that are comfortable playing or hanging out with kids in a range of ages.
A typical day in our house (8 year old and 9 year old kids) consists of 2-3 hours of lessons, independent reading, taking a hot meal to a neighbour that recently lost her husband, meal plan, library trip, ballet or horse back riding or soccer or swim lessons or tai kwon do, and planning a list of the things that we can contribute to the program we just started working on – organizing, pay for and delivering fresh food boxes to new and struggling refuge families.
I’m not going to lie, there are ‘cons’. Lack of understanding from non-homeschoolers, lack of funding despite the fact that we pay taxes, lack of support from family members. It’s a lot of work for us as parents, we take this seriously. Parenting and educating is the single most important thing in our lives. We line up tutors where we fall short, certified teachers, we pay for them out of pocket.
Maybe swing over to secularhomeschool dot com to get some legit information before assuming that our kids are deprived.
The difference between a homeschooling parent and a main stream school parent? We don’t care that you decide not to take our path and most of us don’t judge you for your parenting choice.
**I would take the time to proof read this, but my kid is ready to build her new bird watching binoculars and I should probably supervise the hammer and nails.
Mike says:
“Take my head out of my rear?” That’s not very nice!
It sounds like you have created a tremendous program for your kids, and that your kids are getting a wonderfully well rounded education/social life.
About this though:
“The difference between a homeschooling parent and a main stream school parent? We don’t care that you decide not to take our path and most of us don’t judge you for your parenting choice.”
I don’t care what other parents do either as long as their kids are learning, and I do not judge other parents. What concerns me, however, is that Santorum has made his distaste for the public school system known, and hinted at working (through education cuts and other means) of moving us toward a more home schooled society. He, it appears, very much cares “if you decide not to take our path,” and that is worrisome.
Heather says:
You’re right, it wasn’t very nice. I apologize. Something lost in translation. I’ve been on the defense lately with a lot of people not related to the lives of my children for our choice to homeschool and it got me riled.
To be fair, your assumption that homeschoolers are ‘whacky’ and abusive parents (the assumptions you make about lack of parental education, isolation, depriving kids of appropriate curriculum is implying as much) isn’t very kind either.
The problem is a lot of main stream school parents *do* care and do get aggressive about our choice to pull them out of the classrooms. You may not, but many, many do. I think it is unlikely that any main stream school parent fields questions about when they’re planning to homeschool their children, and I field the opposite at least once a week. Quite often more if it’s ‘back to school’ season. You don’t see it because you don’t homeschool.
I’m not in the US, so perhaps my view of Santorum is skewed. From what I have read it seems likely he and his wife decided to homeschool for religious reasons and the fundamentals of early learning. He looks like an all around nut, with a lot of strong sexist, homophobic and anti-secular beliefs. It’s unfortunate that his face is at the front of American homeschooling right now.
The emphasis of my last statement should have been on the word *most*. Most homeschoolers I know would not criticize a parent for main streaming schooling. I’m struggling to find an example of any one I know judging another parent for doing this. In my 3 years of homeschooling I cannot come up with one example. Well, except maybe Santorum.
Mike, I would challenge you to spend a few months telling people that you plan to homeschool and it might give you a small taste of what actual homeschoolers deal with on a daily basis. It’s not pleasant, and if you thought the disapproving stares of strangers (when you took Annie to mail those videos way back) was difficult… Well, try to gracefully deal with people telling you outright that you’re planning to deprive your child of a life, friends, and a decent education all in front of your child.
Mike says:
No worries, Heather! But – not to split hairs – but I was saying I USED to find home schooling a bit wacky, but am now finding it a viable alternative. Also, by your definition of child abuse a tradition school proponent could say I was accusing them of child abuse too by sending them to a school that might lead to them committing suicide or getting shot!
I do understand though that home schoolers face a lot of criticism (often ignorant) from people, and I totally understand that is not fun to deal with. I made a comment earlier about how I sort of understand because I deal with lots of people who don’t understand parents who have lost a child.
Heather says:
True, it’s a double edged sword with this post. There are pros and cons to each, and unless you had a blog dedicated to representing both sides of the debate you couldn’t even begin to make a dent in those huge lists. To split hairs (ha ha!) it took someone you respect making that choice for you to move past the view that homeschooling is just fundamentally wrong. Before that you were making an assumption about a million parents in the US who make this choice and follow through with it.
That comment re: child loss. I haven’t had to deal with that, I lost my child before she had a change to breathe and grow and play. I had a few years between that loss and my second pregnancy and birth, so my grief wasn’t as fresh and present. People didn’t notice it, I guess. So, I didn’t have a lot of the thoughtlessness that you and Heather have had to deal with. I imagine you understand what it’s like to be constantly under a microscope (duh! dad blogger,of course you do) with every parenting decision you make.
Lacey Jane says:
I feel the need to comment on this post because of how I was personally raised. I went to Catholic school. That stopped working for me personally when I was in the third grade. My mom homeschooled for for my fourth grade year, then I went to a charter school that focused on environmental sciences (it was a beautiful school on 22 acres of forest). After that stopped working for me, I went to a performing arts charter school. Then I asked if I could try public school. My parents warned me that I might hate it, but I would have to finish out the year if I started it. So in 10th grade, for the first time, I went to public school.
Everyone is saying how awesome teachers are- and they totally are! That is not the problem. The problem is, for that whole year, all I did was prepare to take a standardized test. It was the most boring school year of my life. I don’t blame the teachers, but the system is MOST DEFINITELY screwed up. As a public school student, I felt like I was only allowed to learn a certain amount. Like there was a cap on my learning. I had never learned from text books before that year, and they were pretty appalling. The teachers didn’t teach me what they knew, they taught me paragraphs from a text book. I felt like it could be better. I know it could be better.
After that year, I told my parents I was finished with school. I never wanted to go back to another school. They told me I had to finish highschool somehow, but that they were both working and couldn’t do it themselves. Thus, un-schooling. I unschooled myself for the remainder of my highschool career. I called up previous teachers that I loved and exchanged lessons and discussions for yard and house work. I surfed the web. I learned about what I wanted to learn about. I read lots of books. Then, I went to college and kept a 3.7 gpa- even without traditional schooling to back me up.
I know everyone is different, but as someone who has been through every type of schooling that I know of, for me personally, traditional public school fell short of every academic expectation. After going through that, there is no way I could ever send my kid to public school. That’s not to say I do not know successful public-schooled people- because I certainly do! They just don’t know what they were missing.
SCC says:
I get what you’re saying, but honestly I think saying, “They just don’t know what they were missing,” is a little condescending and dismissive of others’ personal experiences. I could say the same thing to your complete rejection of public school education, because I had an absolutely amazing experience attending public school–kindergarten through college and a master’s at public universities. And because of my experiences, I am theoretically committed to sending my kids to public school. But the thing is, different types of education work for different people. While I hope to be able to send my kids to public school all the way, and while I hope they have the same fabulous experiences that my husband and I both had, I know that may not necessarily happen. So I am open-minded. It’s your decision to not send your child to public school, but I think it’s a little unfair to dismiss it so completely based on the fact that, as you said, it fell short for you “personally.” It totally depends on the school and I was lucky enough to attend schools with wonderful teachers who taught far beyond any standardized test. It’s unfortunate that a lot of this discussion has turned into homeschooling vs. public schools because it doesn’t need to be that way. Instead, I think both “sides” should be getting angry at the fact that there are people out there who want to limit our choices when it comes to educating our children.
Susan says:
“Instead, I think both “sides” should be getting angry at the fact that there are people out there who want to limit our choices when it comes to educating our children.”
Exactly.
Lacey Jane says:
You’re totally right. I did not mean to be condescending. I could have chosen my words better. As far as teaching to the test, a couple factors played in here. I was in highschool less than 6 years ago. In my public school (a very highly rated school with not just AP classes, but an IB program as well), teachers in the “regular classes”, which I took because I didn’t know what to expect (I should have taken AP classes- I could kick myself)- quite literally were taught how to take the TAAKS test. It was not the teacher’s fault, it was state mandated. Maybe things are different here in Texas? The AP and IB program had much more going for them, but for the “regular kids”, I still truly believe they didn’t get a valid education if that’s all they were allowed to learn. I know many (okay, 4, but that’s still quite a few) teachers who quit teaching and went back to school to figure out another career because the state did not allow them to actually teach. They worked so hard but at the end of the day, grading20 page state mandated TAAKS packets was not worth it to them, and they felt they could be doing something better with their time. My problem with the higher up classes, is the homework load. You’re already in school for 8 hours a day. My neighbor was in the IB program, and she would bring home an additional 4-7 hours of homework. This left no time for extra curricular activities, and no time for friends or family. Where is the line? I am thankful that public school exists, and for many reasons including his views on education I think Santorum is a damn fool. I do, however, believe the public school system needs change. It’s not the teachers. It’s really not. It’s the guidelines. It’s the states. It’s not fair to the children. It’s not getting any better, and it should be.
Jen says:
It really bothers me when non-homeschoolers with no experience whatsoever feel qualified to “sum up” the benefits and advantages of homeschooling. Most homeschoolers choose that method of educating their children because their educational philosophy and lifestyle family choices are not in line with those of conventional schools. While homeschooling, like anything, has both advantages and disadvantages, I don’t think someone who has never homeschooled a day in their life is qualified to judge what those are. You might be better served and educated by talking to the friend you esteem about why he/she chose homeschooling and how they feel about that choice.
For the record, we’ve homeschooled three children, ages 10, 14 and 18, from k to present. Our 18 yo has received a national fellowship, traveled the country and is very well socialized. He just received a full merit scholarship to a highly selective school that is not even homeschooler friendly. The second child is very active in the community, runs her own business and will be starting college two years early with clear plans for graduate school and higher degrees. All that to say, homeschooling is a GREAT choice if it’s what you want for your family, and children of parents who are very serious about it usually end up far better educated than those from traditional schools because the parents are careful to maximize the benefits and minimize the disadvantages.
While I understand you have no personal experience with homeschooling and were just musing, uniformed evaluations of someone else’s lifestyle and choices can be annoying.
Mike says:
Hi Jen,
You, and many other commenters, have left great comments explaining why home schooling works for them, and how they avoid the problems I mentioned in my post. They have opened my eyes up a bit more, and likely exposed many readers to the home schooling perspective, and that, we all can agree, is a good thing!
Jen says:
I agree, Mike. And I do admire all the thought and energy you put into parenting. It’s hard as a homeschooler though to listen to the opinions/summations of people who know virtually nothing about it. I don’t feel qualified to judge or evaluate something I have no experience with and would appreciate people affording me the same respect and tolerance. I appreciate your friendly response to the people offering their experience with homeschooling. You’re definitely getting the backlash of all our frustration with the general uninformed public and incorrect stereotypes about homeschooling–and handling it well. Peace.
Lacey Jane says:
Agreed. Mike rocks.
Christina says:
I am a little perplexed by homeschoolers, myself. That doesn’t mean I think all of their kids will grow up as sheltered, uneducated weirdos. This isn’t a black and white situation. The cons won’t affect some kids. That goes for both homeschoolers AND public schoolers. I still come to a conclusion that homeschool isn’t for me and I would present my concerns if I had a friend considering it. Yes, plenty of homeschoolers do a good job of getting their kid tons of socialization, they take them to other classes in the community, set up their own groups, etc. That’s not good enough for me, though. Everything your kid is exposed to is completely controlled by the parent. Which is attractive to some parents. But for me, I would love my children to be exposed to different ideas and perspectives and stories than my own and the few people who cross my path in the (far too few) years I have their little developing minds in the palm of my hands. Yes, that includes the perspectives I don’t believe in. The thing is, I am confident enough in my own beliefs that I will be able to have a discussion with my child, share my evidence, and let them decide. With a new teacher every year and 30+ classmates every year, PLUS what non-homeschooler parents do for their kids after school (BTW, I feel like homeschoolers who use this ‘I do this and that and this and that for my kid’ argument are making the ignorant assumption that public school parents DON’T do those things for their kids. WRONG! Plenty of parents put their kids in school and then have discussions with them about what they learned, take them to an art class in the community or martial arts or dance, or whatever. Those kids are getting the best of BOTH worlds!).
What I’m getting at here with that last rant is how frustrated I feel when homeschoolers complain about others’ stereotyping them and then, in the next breath, they start stereotyping public school families. I certainly hope they are teaching their children to have more self-reflection than they themselves possess.
Susan says:
(As far as exposure to other opinions goes, I have one word: Internet. Most kids will have access to the Internet, and there is a massive number of opinions out there about everything on the Internet, and resources for researching those opinions as well. It’s how we’re able to have this discussion right now, after all.)
I also dislike that in order to defend one side, we turn on the other. That’s not fair to the people who prefer/chose public school, but respect home schooling as an option (and vice versa). It just makes each side more defensive, which is unproductive and unnecessary. We don’t need to be opposed.
I appreciate everyone here who has commented and been open and/or respectful to the idea of all forms of education. It’s the right attitude to have.
JMH says:
Love your last paragraph!!! Well said!!
Jen says:
You say, “Everything your kid is exposed to is completely controlled by the parent. Which is attractive to some parents. But for me, I would love my children to be exposed to different ideas and perspectives and stories than my own and the few people who cross my path in the (far too few) years I have their little developing minds in the palm of my hands. Yes, that includes the perspectives I don’t believe in.”
This tells me how little you know about homeschooling and raising a child to adulthood in our society. It would be very difficult to control everything your child is exposed to for 18 years! In general, while homeschoolers may have unpopular values in our society today, most homeschoolers are exposed to a wider and more diverse population than traditionally homeschooled children just because they are not in an artificial environment with same aged peers. There are actually very few homeschoolers whose children are completely sheltered and spend most of the day at home. They are by far the minority.
What’s really lacking in your argument above in reference to the fact that public schooled children get the best of “BOTH worlds’ is a lack of understanding about different types of educational philosophies and family lifestyle choices. Every choice we make in life has advantages and disadvantages. The trick is to be happy with the choices we make and maximize the advantages and minimize the disadvantages. Regardless of the school option you choose for your children, any loving parent will try their best to accomplish this.
But you can’t have the the advantages of both worlds–you have to make a choice, IMO. Just make sure the one you’re choosing is working for you and your family.
Rebecca says:
We moved to a district which is pretty good. However, if things change or problems arise that aren’t handled to my satisfaction I will pull my children and home school. I live in an area that has a very strong network of parents and actually have proms, sports, etc. . . .I spoke with one girl who was a senior at the time and I told her how I keep homeschooling as an option and wanted to know if she thinks it would be a good idea and what if anything does she feel she has missed out on.
She said the only thing she feels she missed out on was having a locker. So, if we ever home school, I’ll belong to a good co-op and make sure I buy good lockers (with a lock) for the kids.
Kirsten says:
I will be sending my kids to public school….BUT – I’ve seen the homeschooling side because my brother and his wife homeschool their 3 kids. There are pro’s and con’s to both and I think it’s a really personal decision. I will say that for ME and MY household – I am the wrong person to homeschool. I think my son learns SO MUCH better from other people. He has flourished at pre-school, and I think he would get burnt out on mom teaching really quickly. Also, I think most households simply can’t afford to have one person stay home, especially in California it’s mostly a two-income world we live in.
On the flip side, I will say my three neices are well adjusted and very smart and social kids….although I do feel they are a bit behind in some areas, but that’s really dependent on the parent teaching and what they focus on.
What scares me is that my brother intends to put them into our public high school and I think they are going to FREAK OUT socially (and we live in a very small town)
Totally a subject of debate – but we have ALOT of homeschoolers where we live, so it’s not unusual…I just don’t think it’s right for our family. And yeah, Mr. President better figure out how we parents can afford to stay home and teach instead of going to work if that’s what he’s going to be preaching about!
Kirsten says:
OH! and hey, can you do a post on UNSCHOOLING??? let the comments fly! hehee
justbblythe says:
My husband kind of felt like you about homeschool. Well actually he was completely against homeschool. That is until, we were faced the alternative of public school. We could not longer afford Montessori school in the middle of our boys 1st and 2nd grade year. We are in an excellent public school district in Orange County, Ca. Even though the school is fairly well funded, has a strong PTA and parent involvement we could not get past the ratios. The 1st grade class had 36 children with no aid and sometimes parent helpers. My son had never been to a traditional school and moving him in the middle of the year did not feel right. The 2nd grade class was pretty maxed out as well. Each of them were working a grade level ahead at Montessori and we were unsure were they would fit academically. Socially they are still right at grade level. We also discovered the after school program was almost as much as we were paying for private school plus daycare, yikes, for 2.5 hours of care. These means if my husband could find work his earnings would mostly be paying for daycare.
I had recently gone back to work after being home for 7 years and my husbands construction business was failing. There were six months when we were both working and it was not good at all for our family. Everyone was stressed and not getting the kids home until after 6 to start homework was too much on all of us. Having someone else care for our children 10 hours a day was overwhelming us with guilt and we felt we hardly spent any quality time with them, barely two hours a day, and that was homework. A long story short we figured out we would make some major budgeting cuts and my husband would stay home and we would home school. We use an online charter school program. All of the text books, readers, workbooks, science materials, etc. and even a computer are sent to our door step. My friends that are teachers are in awe because the materials my kids receive they have have one set of for their whole class. We have a teacher which we are in constant contact with on a daily basis. The boys go to “community day”one day a week from 9-12:30 and meet with their teacher turn in work samples and have a classroom day with peers. They are now in 2nd and 3rd grade and my husband absolutely loves homeschooling. It has been a wonderful choice for our family.
The transition has been amazing. In many cultures boys would be around the age my sons are when they are going off to hunt, farm or learn the trade of their fathers. It is has been really nice for them to see my husband in a more domestic role than in the past and have his full attention during this time in their lives. Do people think we are crazy? Yes. Have we been judged and criticized? Yes. Have we been alienated by groups of friends who just do not “get” us anymore? Yes. It has all been ok though because we now surround ourselves with like minded people who support our choice. We figured out who are friends really are.
We do not have cable, we live on a budget we have cut cut cut to make this happen. The boys are in extracurricular activities, swimming and competitive trampoline, and have a lot of play dates. It’s a little too soon to tell if they will be the “weird homeschool kids”. We are not trying to hide them or shield them from anything, mostly trying to give the opportunity to truly learn and nurture them during this brief time of their life, childhood. We only get about 16 years with them. We want to make the most of it.
This is just our second year homeschooling but we are hoping to continue. I am really enjoying the discussion on this topic and reading all of the perspectives, especially the people that have been homeschooled. Great topic.
Mike says:
Thank you, Blythe. Great comment, and as a Dad I love that your boys are getting to spend so much quality time with their dad.
Jessica Makuh says:
I don’t have a problem with home-schooling, but I definitely have a problem with the gorvernment trying to force me to home school. I graduated magna cum laude with a bachelor’s degree, but I would not be good at home schooling my kids. Some children learn better from adults who are not their parents. As a parent with a child with special needs, I have learned that parent as teacher is not always best. Lauren learns much better from her therapists and pre-school teacher than from me. She gets love and affection from me. I’m a stay-at-home Mom, but seriously, I don’t know how home-schooling Moms have time to keep their yard up and clean their house. I would be a mess! We have to hire help!
Teresa says:
I quit reading some of these comments after a while. I homeschool my daughters and have done so for the past 4 years. I started doing it for various reasons.
My husband was the first to ask me to do it and I thought he was crazy. But once my oldest was in junior high, I was worried about the amount of work my daughter was bringing home after spending all day at school. Apparently, the teachers had to spend a lot of time dealing with children disrupting class and did not have time to explain the assignment. So essentially, I was home schooling her at night and sending her to school to observe children with behavior problems. It doesn’t take many kids to disrupt a day.
I know teachers have one of the hardest jobs in the world.
Fortunately, I had the ability to work from home and the time to teach my daughters. I now have my oldest daughters in an online high school and I teach my younger daughters. My oldest daughters come to me with questions and if I can’t help there is a teacher to contact regarding their courses. The younger girls are taught using a curriculum based on award winning books that cover history, Language arts, etc. It keeps things more interesting and we avoid textbooks.
My children are in multiple outside activities ( dance, bowling, Girl Scouts).
I have a Doctorate in Pharmacy and feel comfortable that until they are out of high school there is not much they will come across that I cannot help.
But most of all, my daughters are spending time together and getting to bond and know one another. We as a family are very strong. I will never get this time back and I am absorbing every second of my kids. They grow up so fast!
We take vacations whenever we want to, without concern for school holidays.
Yes- its not easy. When I have 4 girls getting emotional on me – the thought of sending them to school sounds delicious! But it is definitely worth it if you have it in you.
I don’t judge what other people choose to do because everyone has reasons but homeschooling works for me.
hdj says:
I don’t agree with mandated homeschooling, but I sure would like the money I pay in taxes to use as I see fit for educating my child.
Look at your local school district to see the cost per child for educating your kid in the public school system and look at how much it costs per year to put your child in private school. In a lot of places, the cost per child to educate in the public school system would pay for the very best private school education money could buy WITH MONEY LEFT OVER.
I’m for giving parents their tax dollars and letting them decide how to spend it to educate their child. And this approach actually provides great benefit to lower income families that would struggle with homeschooling or are in terrible school districts.
I have tremendous respect for parents who do home school. This is not something I could do, but I work with quite a few people who have chosen this path. Some do this at great financial sacrifice because they truly feel they are doing what is best for their kids. Also, none of these kids have social issues – all are in a co-op and involved in sports and outside activities. And the parents are all super tight knit and very involved and have created a community for their kids. And all these kids are stellar students and many have gone on to really good colleges.
Jen says:
The problem with the idea that everyone should choose how their tax dollars are spent to educate their child (or choose their own child’s educational method and have tax dollars to fund that) is that the whole American educational system is founded upon the government providing a “free and equal” education to all children. (We all know the flaws in those terms, lol, but the general principle remains.)
Homeschooling our children has had some huge expenses (especially when they begin taking college classes in high school at $900 or more a class!), but my husband and I do not begrudge our town/state/federal government the taxes we provide for school systems. We agree with the fundamental principle that all children should have access to a free and quality education through 12th grade and are happy to back that up with our tax money. Our children have access to that same system; it is our choice not to use it.
Katherine says:
I like your attitude. Well said!
kmom says:
Thank you!
Krystal says:
This is actually a false economy, though. Public schools are required to provide all students with a FAPE (free appropriate public education). This includes educating children with serious physical and mental disabilities, whose education is frankly quite more expensive than that of a typical student. So yes, while it might cost less per student at a private school, that’s because they aren’t required to provide children with disabilities with an IEP.
Kacey says:
While I respect the right of every parent to make the decision that they feel is best for their child (and I am aware that some parents simply need the free daycare provided by public school), I think the “arrogance” in this instance belongs to teachers who assume that their degree means they can meet the individual needs of 30 or more students who they’ve just met better than parents who have known that child his entire life. Also, there was absolutely no reason to imply in your title that people who homeschool are “fools.” I take what I do very seriously and spend a lot of time planning and researching the best ways to help my son explore topics that are of interest to him. I get that you don’t feel homeschooling is the right choice for your family and I can respect that, but there is no need to resort to oversimplification and name calling.
Mike says:
Hi Kacey,
I think my title might be misunderstood – my fault, since it wasn’t clear. I was saying “Am I a home school fool? As in am I wrong to still think traditional schooling is the right choice for Annie. So it wasn’t directed at home schoolers but myself.
I do not think it is arrogance for a teacher to think they can provide great education even for thirty kids. Teacher are professionals with specialized training – like doctors, for example – and you wouldn’t tell a doctor he can’t care for your child because he doesn’t know him or her as well as you do.
Kacey says:
The difference is that a doctor is someone who a)sees my child one-on-one b) is someone my child interacts with relatively rarely and under my direction. And, yes, in some instances I do make decisions that my son’s doctor disagrees with (he, for instance, thought my son should start eating rice cereal at 4 months) because it is my job as his parent to do what I think is best for him individually not what his doctor thinks is best for children in general.
BethRd says:
So far, my son is a case of a kid that I think has benefited a lot from public school and would have been badly served by homeschooling. By nature, he’s introverted, stubborn, perfectionistic and kind of, um, passive. Which is a loving mother’s way of saying he’s a little lazy. But he’s also highly competitive and will follow rules. So at home, I think it would be really hard to get him to apply himself. There’s no one to compete with, he would be aware that all of the ‘rules’ were just made up by his parents, he wouldn’t be at all interested in going out to participate in outside activities (he still isn’t). At school every day, he’s forced to interact with others whether he likes it or not and has made some good friends, he’s motivated to compete with his classmates and does pretty well academically, and his respect for structure means that he participates even when he doesn’t like it. To be totally fair, he really dislikes school and would absolutely rather stay home… but honestly? I think for all the wrong reasons. I would have no hesitation pulling him out if something went badly wrong, if he was being bullied or mistreated by teachers, but as long as things are going well, I really think he’s better off there. It might be the perfect thing for another child though.
Emily says:
Mike, I thought your original post was well-written. While admitting stereotypes you used to hold (and who of us doesn’t hold stereotypes about SOMETHING!), you said how you were realizing that your sterotypes might have been incorrect. I thought your post was thought-provoking without being unkind. Good job, Mike!
Homeschooling, like any choice parents make, has to be the parents’ own choice, and one choice isn’t right for each child. There are always going to be problems in holding any position, and there will also always be shining examples of those holding that position. For example, there was story in the news recently about some grandparents in Florida that were forcing their grandson (and granddaughter? I forget the details) to kneel on the bathroom floor with his hands tied behind his back for 9 hours a day as punishment for him failing to do well on some homeschool assignment. We can all agree that that is BAD homeschooling – and horrible parenting! However, I think we can also agree that’s not the norm. As other commenters have pointed out, there are great benefits to homeschooling, too – when it is done well.
By the same token, there was story in the Modesto, CA news a few weeks ago about a middle-aged teacher leaving his wife and teenaged kids to move in with a teenage student. There are plenty of stories about teachers molesting young kids, or selling drugs, or some other such horrible-ness. But, on the other side of the coin, there are many wonderful stories about caring teachers who go the extra mile to make sure kids learn and excell. Traditional, classroom-based schooling can be wonderful – when it is done well.
In the end, parents have to pick the best choice for them in their own personal circumstances. Many issues will factor into making a choice: do both of the parents have to work? what is the education level of the parents? how much desire do the parents have to homeschool? what resources for homeschooling parents are available in their community? what are the schools like in their area? what are the temperaments of the children like? what are the temperaments of the parents like? The answers to all of these questions will factor in to the decision that parents make regarding their child’s schooling. Different people in different circumstances will make different choices, and we need to respect and support those different choices.
I know that I would not be a good homeschooling parent if it all had to rest on my shoulders, but I also know that, for various reasons, I could never send my child to public school. Thankfully, our Lutheran church has a wonderful school that my children attend. It’s the right choice for our family. I’m glad I have the freedom to make the choice that’s right for us.
Blue says:
I was homeschooled for the second half (5th grade on) of my education. It was the bomb. I learned more, I wasted less time, I loved it, it was perfect for me.
Public school and private schools are perfect for other folks. A wide variety of options = the best thing ever. The worst thing you can do for kids in this regard is remove options that haven’t already been taken away from them by circumstance.
Sorry about the rather more rude defense of homeschoolers, in here, now that I’ve been in (and out) of mainstream education (college) again and time has passed, the stereotypes and whatnot don’t sting so bad, but I cannot tell you how tiring it is to constantly surprise folks with your boring sanity. I did well in school but I’m not 1) hyper religious or 2) super savant smart, which apparently shocks the heck right out of people. ‘OMG, you had a social life? You aren’t an awkward shut-in?’ gets real old.
I was homeschooled in PA, which has a pretty strict “performance review” type thing every year for the kids. People often cry “homeschooling needs REGULATION” because they’re afraid for the kids (I understand), but I promise you, at least in PA … there’s plenty. I never had a thorough performance review in public school. Nobody sat and made me describe in my own words what I’d learned, when, how, etc (it’s much easier to fill in bubbles on a test!). But public school was good, too, homeschooling was just a better fit for me.
Anyway. Just a few thoughts. You’ll do what’s best for your kid and that’s the best possible thing, you’ll know her better than anybody, so you’ll be able to tell what’s best for her based on your current situation.
And regardless of our schooling we all know that Santorum is awful. Public school is one of the greatest things this country does, I say that as a homeschooler who would ideally like to homeschool her own kids. Free public education! He wants to cut funding? What a dope.
Mike says:
Hi Blue,
Great response, love hearing from former home schooled students today. There have been a few here… some had great experiences, some had poor experiences. Kind of like, I guess, traditional schooling.
Madi says:
It’s all about the individual child, in my opinion.
I’ve attended traditional schools and I’ve been homeschooled.
I would send my child to school for the first few years, as I have absolutely no desire to teach the fundamentals. But once the child is older, I’m in favor of homeschooling, providing the student is self-motivated and highly gifted.
I homeschooled throughout high school and I just loved it. I left “normal” school because it was just too slow. I’m a fast learner and even the honors classes were boring me to tears.
So I took charge of my education. Unlike most homeschooling set-ups, my parents didn’t serve as my teachers. I opted to educate myself with textbooks, literature, internships and so forth. I learned everything my peers learned and much more, including 3 languages (French, Spanish and Greek. Actually, I already spoke Greek, but I learned how to read and write in Greek.)
I got a 1580 on my SATs (back in the days when a perfect score was 1600). I attended an Ivy League University on a full academic scholarship.
I started performing internships when I was 15. By the time I was 17, I was a staff writer at a daily newspaper with a circulation of more than half a million readers. By the time I was 23, I was the editor-in-chief of said publication.
My career was well underway by the time I was in my early 20s, while my peers had sparse resumes and they struggled to get a foot in the door. Homeschooling put me at such an advantage! It allowed me to speed ahead of my peers; I had the ability to work at my own pace.
But, I’m a rare specimen in many respects! I’m highly self-motivated and I love learning! I imagine there are very few teens who can be trusted to successfully self-teach. Homeschooling would be absolutely nightmarish if the child lacked self-motivation and self-discipline. But it’s really wonderful if you’re motivated, driven and enjoy learning at your own pace — whether it’s a slower-than-average pace or a faster-than-average pace.
There are so many wonderful opportunities for homeschoolers today! I wish these resources had been available to me! There are co-ops, there are online classes, homeschooling curriculum and so forth. Isolation, a lack of resources — these aren’t a problem anymore.
Personally, I loathe teaching others. I simply don’t have the patience! So that’s why I would send my child to a typical school for the first few years, as a young child cannot effectively self-teach. I would allow my child to homeschool in the way that I homeschooled, but I wouldn’t be interested in serving as my child’s teacher. If I couldn’t trust my child to self-teach, then I would simply send her to a traditional classroom. Fortunately, today, there are many different school structures in existence, so there’s really something available for every learning style.
Madi
Maria says:
?? ?? ?????? ????? ???????? ??????
Maria says:
sorry a/b the above, the Greek didn’t go through.. I’ll write it again in Gringlish:
Ellinida eisai?
Madi says:
Nai!
Eicho ena spite in Mytilene. (Sorry, I suck at writing Gringlish! LOL)
Meyli says:
I think some new approaches would be a great idea for our education system – but I don’t think cutting funding for public schools is in that pool of answers.
Like you said, homeschooling can be beneficial, but it could really be a problem for the financially less fortunate. If both parents must work full time just to make ends meet, then the best place the children can be is in a school most of the day. Encouraging parents to work AND educate their children COMPLETELY is just unreasonable.
One problem today (obviously not a new problem..) is the sheer numbers of awful teachers in circulation. Sure, they may be intelligent, but that doesn’t make someone a good TEACHER. Education degrees are one of the main focuses of my University, and its amazing to me how many students I’ve heard say they’re only teaching for the benefits (of summers off and college loan government aide) Thats what disgusts me.
Mike says:
That’s sad to hear students are only going into teaching for the benefits. They will be in for a rude awakening because summers aren’t off (you have lots of meetings and lesson planning to do), plus teachers really do put in a full year’s work in the 10 months of the school year.
The interesting misconception about teaching – one that leads to a lot of bad teachers – is that all it takes is intelligence and knowledge to be a good teacher. The truth is that the talent/skill needed to be a great teacher is the ability to explain information and help students figure out things on their own. Knowing everything about a subject without being able to “teach” = bad teacher.
The best teachers I know can know NOTHING about a subject, but, after looking at the lesson plan and its objectives, be able to make the kids understand the lesson better than an expert on the subject… all because they know how to teach!
Meyli says:
Wow, a comment from Mike!
I agree with you; teachers don’t have to already know everything about the subject to TEACH well. I can’t imagine being, say, a 5th grade teacher and knowing everything about grammar, math, world history, and all sorts of sciences! The important thing is having the right attitude.
Whether that attitude comes from a traditional-school teacher, or a parent, it doesn’t really matter.
Connie says:
I wanted to chime in as a homeschooling mother to three little girls. I am college educated with a degree in the arts and used to be candidly against homeschooling because I was ignorant to how different it is compared to when I was in school. It is not for ultra conservative Christians (we are Buddhist), kids are not isolated (we belong to a HUGE co-op where I teach art and my kids take classes like African geography from a dad with a Ph.D), and it is not something that is only for the rich or financially wealthy. We gave up a lot of things so that I could stay at home and teach because we felt that their education was more important than eating out, buying new clothes all the time, and taking expensive vacations.
We actually did send our oldest daughter to public school for Kindergarten and part of 1st grade. I was VP for our PTA and tried really hard to improve the school for both students and teachers. But at the end of the day between budget cuts and political nonsense, my daughter had 12 minutes of “recess” where she marched on the sidewalk and wasn’t allowed to play on the grass because it was wet, art class was only 1/4 of the year and consisted of crayons and marker art, she was stressed out and not sleeping well. It was a disaster.
You state that the schools provide things that a home environment can’t like technology, art studios, gyms, counselors… I know that between pottery class, swim lessons, our home computer, and the hundreds of other resources that is available to our family, it is the school that is lacking.
I realize that this is not for everyone just like public school is not for everyone, but it is not some mysterious institution that is reserved for the super-patient, conservative, wealthy families. Cheers!
Maria Keil says:
I thought being home schooled meant you were taught by your parent at home & you were the only student. I guess I’m confused!
Connie says:
Homeschoolers can belong to a co-op or cooperative, along with learning from their parents, extra curricular teachers, and sports coaches. Here is the definition:
A Homeschool Cooperative is a cooperative of families who homeschool their children. It provides an opportunity for children to learn from other parents who are more specialized in certain areas or subjects. Co-ops also provide social interaction for homeschooled children. They may take lessons together or go on field trips. Some co-ops also offer events such as prom and graduation for homeschoolers.
This is something that we do one day a week from 9-2 and is awesome because my kids get to learn new things and I get to use my degree and interests to teach other kids who may be interested in more in depth studies.
Maria Keil says:
I get what you are trying to say however to me that is not homeschooling.
Maria
Connie says:
So because someone else gives my child a lesson then they are not homeschoolers? Why? Because then they have the chance to hone their social skills and won’t fit in *your* stereotype of what a homeschooled child is like? That statement alone demonstrates your ignorance concerning homeschoolers.
JACKIE says:
Maria-that IS homeschooling. Shutting your kids into the house and doing work may sadly be how it is done by a few but that is not how it is done by the majority. Those are the people will burn out and end up being weird! The world is our schoolroom. There are lessons everywhere, activities with others, the real world to learn about. Please read up on the subject! The library(where you might find many homeschoolers during the schoolday, lol) has lots of great books on the subject.
Lenora says:
I certainly think home schooling done right can be a good option but I also agree that not everyone afford to do it and frankly, there are some parents that don’t want to. I think one of the problems with it, is there is not enough regulation of it; it can vary from state to state. I think it sounds like a lot of the parents on here are doing a wonderful job and their kids are lucky to have the experience. I think the problem can be, what about the parents who aren’t doing a good job? I think there are parents who just aren’t great at it but I also think there are some who are limiting what they teach based on religion. Here is an article that makes some good points about it.
http://www.alternet.org/story/154541/whos_minding_the_children_educational_neglect_and_the_homeschool_movement?page=entire
Liz says:
I think this article is terribly misleading. Yes, there are some children who fall through the cracks of homeschooling, but I think those children are the very rare exception. Also, I think it’s pretty obvious that there are many children who fall through the cracks of Public schools every year too. Homeschooled children regularly score much better on standardized testing, the ACT, and the SAT than public schooled children. Homeschooled children are more likely to go to college and compared to their Public schooled peers they earn a higher GPA when they graduate. Studies show that adults who were homeschooled as children are more likely to vote and be involved in their communities than those who attended Public school.
http://www.hslda.org/docs/nche/000010/200410250.asp
http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-505145_162-37242551/can-homeschoolers-do-well-in-college/
Please don’t get me wrong. I do think Public school is the best option for the majority of families, and funding obviously should not be cut, but for those families who are able and willing to homeschool I think it’s an amazing option. As for regulation, yes I do think there should be some type of follow up with families who homeschool, but isn’t the excess of standardized testing in our public schools a huge factor to their downfall. I don’t think forcing this upon homeschoolers as well is going to further anyone’s education.
Sandy says:
I don’t have any kids personally but have family and friends that home school so I decided to comment. My nephews were homes schooled totally. A few years ago, they and others formed a home school type school. They had sports and competed with Christian schools, had a little graduation, etc, paid for teachers for the subjects that none of the parents knew. In the state where I live, they have a statewide graduation ceremony just like a regular school. My friends were in home school groups that met and done trips and stuff together. All the ones I know that have home schooled scored at least a 19 on their first time taking an ACT (one nephew scored a 25 the first time).
As far as the regulation question, they used to test every year to make sure they were where they needed to be for their age (not sure if they still do this-I know they have to take the ones that the public school take). The every year test, if you didn’t score high enough, you had to enroll them in either public or private school.
I have read articles on the test scores of graduates now. There is a lot that are having to do developmental classes. I had been out of high school for 17 years, and was able to get out of all the developmental classes except math.
Kay says:
I a not a parent, and hopefully won’t be for at least 5-10 years. However, I find this topic really interesting since I’ve always been fascinated by the idea of home school. I spent 13 years attending public schools, and in retrospect, homeschooling might have been the best thing for me. I have a relatively high I.Q., but difficulty socializing, which lead to me feeling out of place, and in an effort to fit in, I intentionally dropped my grades. Obviously, home schooling is not for everyone, though I wonder if perhaps, more people *could* do it effectively if they wanted to. Even without a higher education, or a specific degree in education, I think most people could teach children what they have to learn, and more importantly, teach them how to pursue information on their own. My mother didn’t know how to knit, but after teaching me to crochet, I was able to figure out the basics of knitting, and then teach myself further. While not knowing proper chemistry or calculus might be a stumbling block for some parents, learning how to teach yourself is possibly the most important thing anyone can teach a child, and I think almost anyone can do that. Also, considering the socialization issue, if you really think of it, proper socializing is not done in groups of 20+ children of the same age. It’s learned on outings to the park, visits to the doctors office and experiences where children learn how to interact with people of all ages. It wasn’t until the creation of the modern classroom that children were forced to socialize almost exclusively with children their age in monitored settings.
I don’t know. I’m not a parent and so don’t have to think about this sort of thing for now, but to me, it’s certainly something to be considered by anyone looking to offer their family the right educational experience for them.
Kristina says:
I homeschool. It works for us. I’m not interested in what other people think about my decision. I don’t judge them for what they do, I just want the same courtesy. We do extra activities, belong to a co-op and my daughter is not isolated or weird.
I enjoy teaching her and feel confident doing so. I have a Master’s degree, though not in Education; but I feel I can teach her without doing her a disservice. If homeschooling starts to feel like it is not working for us, we’ll stop. As parents, we all try our best, right? So just do your thing, let others do their thing and just focus on what works for your own family.
Tara says:
We are still pondering these options, but I have to tell you something that made me faint at the thought of my child in public school. A woman whose 11 year old daughter was due to attend a sex ed class that the mother did not have previous knowledge of. Once brought to her attention and the fact that this class was going to have demonstrations on how to put on a condom (for 11 year olds!!), she wanted her daughter to opt out. And the school said “no”. So she pulled her kid out of that school!
Therein lies my biggest problem: public schools want to control our children and not respect the parents choices, especially when it comes to morals. I have a lot of respect for teachers themselves, it’s the government and politics behind public schools that give me the willies.
The positive aspects of a good education are on one hand. But on the other hand you have your kids growing up way too fast and being exposed to things many parents find disturbing.
Katherine says:
I’ve heard many stories of small-minded school administrators and ignorant teachers doing things that are just baffling. (this is a case in point – a girl getting punished for writing an essay! http://www.democratandchronicle.com/article/20120228/NEWS01/302270062/douglass-essay-jada-williams?odyssey=mod%7Cmostview)
That said, when I hear parents complaining about sex ed at schools making their kids “grow up way too fast” – that sends up a red flag for me. Children start entering puberty as early as 8 or 9. You can’t hide them from the world. You can’t keep them from being exposed to ideas you disagree with. When they hear about them anyway, they’re just going to wonder what you were trying to keep secret from them.
You can, however, choose to be the grown-up in the situation. Just give them all the information they need and let them make good decisions.
Katherine says:
I am sort of disappointed at this post all together, because it comes across as incredibly small minded and ignorant.
The thing is – you don’t have to decide whether or not home-schooling is appropriate for everyone else’s children – you only need to decide whether or not it is appropriate for yours. I don’t judge your parenting decisions, you don’t judge mine? Okay? Especially when you don’t even bother to do any research before forming your opinions. Home-schooling is certainly not for every family, for every child, or for every parent.
First, I am not so arrogant to think that I am more qualified to teach my child and more than many of the teachers in the public school system. HOWEVER, I don’t always think that those amazing teachers get ample oppurtunity to TEACH my child because of many flaws in our public school systems. I think that I am better able to advocate for my child, more in tune to my child’s needs, and more invested in their happiness and well-being than any of their teachers. My daughter’s first teacher was an amazing women, and we still think of her fondly – but she has so many challenges running a classroom that my children will not get to reap the benefits of her many years of education and training.
Secondly, you mention that one of the problems you ‘ have with homeschooling is that our public school system offers kids a lot of benefits that the home cannot. Technology labs, art studios, gymnasiums and sports fields, counselors, resources for students with learning difficulties’ . Um, our home-schooling co-op offers ALL of these – from proffesionals with the same (or better) credentials than yours. My daughter goes to art studio, ballet class, gym time, and theater. She also can choose between french, german, and spanish starting at four – all taught by accredited teachers. We have access to two counselors that help us review our curriculum and offer support if necessary.
My children do socialize with peers. I don’t even know what to say about this, it is just so ignorant.
I think mandated homeschooling is absurd, and I have some pretty, um, poor?, opinions about Rick Santorum – but homeschooling is a great choice for our family, and if you met my children you would see why.
Mike says:
I’m not sure how presenting two sides of an issue (both pros and cons) and asking for opinions can be described as “incredibly small minded and ignorant.” Small minded and ignorant posts wouldn’t end with a pro-home schooling summation like:
“I am definitely more open to home schooling than I was before. Our kids are lagging behind the rest of the world. Maybe it is time for another approach?”
Is there more to homeschooling than I mentioned? Yes, and you and others have pointed that very well. But I also mentioned benefits of homeschooling that I’m sure you would agree with. It was a short post meant to encourage conversation, which it did.
Katherine says:
To be fair, perhaps small minded is the wrong word to use. However, you are clearly lacking information or depth of awareness about the subject – which, IS, the very definition of ignorant. I think that many of the statements that you list as facts, are not facts – and it is unfair and irresponsible to state them as such.
Just because you say that you are more ‘open to it’ than before doesn’t negate the fact that your post is full of inaccuracies and unfair assumptions (including your pros and cons!)about a group of parents who are just clearly trying to be involved and do the best by their children.
You might consider the fact that many homeschooling parents responding to you now have put months and months of research and thought into their decision. I have read dozens of books, interviewed schools and teachers (in both the US and Canada), read reports (that have taken some researchers 20 years to compile), and am sometimes ridiculed by certain friends and family and I STILL don’t feel qualified to write a post like this – listing the pros and cons of a specific education module. At the best you are ill-informed, at the worst you are insensitive.
I think the comment from Jen says it better than anyone else. You might have at least talked to someone (or better – many people) about their experiences before making some pretty incorrect statements. I am not trying to be unfair, or mean. But, I think your post IS unfair – and about something that I take very seriously – the way I choose to parent my children.
Lenora says:
I think this post is kind of the way he is talking to people. I don’t think he was making judgements; he tried to present both sides of the argument and as a teacher himself, I think he at least has an informed opinion on one side of the issue. This post has sparked discussion.
Chebrutta says:
I’m hoping everyone can agree on one thing: Parents are their children’s first and most important teachers.
I do not have children. I teach 7th grade and have over 150 students every year.
I’ve had homeschooled children move into my classroom, and they are brilliant, funny, quirky kids (and they’re all quirky at that age) who adjust the regular classroom beautiful. Some of them are far ahead of the curriculum.
Some come in from a homeschooling environment, and I wonder just what in the heck they did for the last six or seven years. They can’t write a complete sentence or add without a calculator.
At the end of the day, the questions – for either side – are these: Is the child getting what they need? Are they being challenged? Is the educational process being followed with fidelity? Are they thriving in the environment? Are they being properly socialized?
Only the parents and child can answer these questions. Everyone has to do what’s best for their family.
I get a bit sick of the teacher-bashing/parent-bashing that’s so prevalent today. Everyone’s got a foot on the educational ladder. We should all just shut up and work together already.
Rebecca says:
I come at this angle from two conflicting sides. On one hand, I’m about to graduate as a teacher and need funding for public schools in order to have students present and ensure that I have a job. On the other hand, I have every intention of homeschooling my children if my husband and I are able to do so.
I chose to teach because I want to be one of the quality educators in the lives of children. I want the students in my class to become passionate about learning from my influences. However, not every teacher is like this. Not every school has the resources you spoke about. Not every school is right for every child. I will homeschool for this reason. I do not want my children to receive an average education, I want them to experience outstanding learning situations. They will not get this from being in a classroom of 25+ students with a teacher who is forced to teach to a standardixed test (how I hate standardized testing!). Will they miss out on peer socialization? Absolutely not! They will have friends, will join activities, and live in a neighborhood just like any other child their age. Will they miss out on events such as prom? Possibly. Many homeschoolers still attend these events with friends and some schools have partnerships with the homeschoolers in their town and invite them to things such as these. Even if they do miss them, I don’t believe it will harm them at all.
Do I believe homeschooling is right for everyone? No. Do I believe you must have a degree in education to homeschool? No. If you are passionate about your child’s education they will succeed regardless of private, public, or a homeschool education.
Sandy says:
I’m sure not all home school students have a prom, but the home school group where I live has a prom every year. As I mentioned in my previous post, our state has a graduation ceremony complete with caps, gowns and a diploma! Matter of fact, it’s better than public school graduation. They do a slide show presentation for each graduate as they receive their diploma.
Katherine says:
One more thing. (I was so frazzled that I left this out) We were not incredibly unhappy with our local public school, it is a pretty great school. We still feel our children would do well in the public education system. We choose to homeschool as my husband is not from the United States, and the United States school system limited us so much – that when we move to my husband’s home country our children would be at a great disadvantage. Obviously, if you plan on living your entire life in the US this isn’t something you would need to worry about. However, it does make one think a bit about what you are comparing everything to. Many other cultures and countries (first world nations) educate their populations differently (and sometimes better?). The US school system is not the end-all-be-all of education.
Anyway, it turns our the more research I did, the more we all just WANTED to homeschool are children, whether or not we even choose to move.
Sarah says:
Haven’t read the comments, but good luck with public school in LAUSD. The system is currently in crisis, and even schools like Roscomare and Lanai have 40 kids in a class in the upper grades, and these are the GOOD schools. The alternative is either (a) Catholic school, which is affordable, but teaches things I’m not sure I want; or (b) independent schools, which are $25,000 a year. I’m kind of in full panic mode at the moment on this very subject.
Mike says:
Hi Sarah,
I’ve taught in the LAUSD system, so yes, I’m aware of its problems. 40 kids to a class is too much! We need more funding, not less. Hopefully the district improves soon. Another option is attending a charter school. We now live in another school district with smaller class sizes which we appreciate. Good luck… you sound like a very involved parent so you will make the right choice, I’m sure.
Nicole says:
The thing that bothers me about CA public schools is that you are stuck going to the school you are “zoned” for. So even though there is a brand new school a mile away with all brand new technology and the latest computer labs and library, we are stuck going to the 100 year old run down school with leaky roofs and a 25 year old computer lab down the street from where we live because we have to according to what the state tells us. Until ALL schools are the same with the same environment and resources, I think homeschooling is a great option. I have walked on a brand new school and a very old school that are about a mile apart in distance. The difference is amazing and rediculous! Why is money pumped into building a state of the art school and no money is pumped into upgrading the old one? And I don’t have a say as to what shcool I can send my child to. The idiots running this states are going to tell me where I can take my child to get educated? And charter schools are all lottery and take the kids that have parents working there first, then those that live the closest, then open it up to outsiders. What’s the chance of getting into those? Yes I have a choice as to where I live and if I want a certain school I can move in that school zone, but that is not what I am able to do. I can move to a more expensive county and city and have my child go to the better school there, but what if I can’t afford it? Shouldn’t all states schools be exactly the same? Have the same exact resources? Taught with the same materials? Until then, I will utilize private school. I’m sure there are great public school teachers out there, but I went to public schools and I remember going a whole year sometimes without a teacher ever acknowledging me personally the whole year. I was average, so I didn’t need any attention. I would just go from class to class in jr high without a teacher ever saying hello. Pretty sad if you ask me. Yes they may have credentials in teaching, but they lack social skills. I was lost in the crowd. Please teachers, make sure you say hello to the shy ones. Not just give attention to the trouble makers.
Eileen says:
I think my beef with Homeschooling is that right now? It feels trendy. And worse than that, another way for women to judge just “How much better of a mother they are than their neighbors” and the mommy wars go on and on, all disguised in a mildly disdained expression and the phrase, “Well, we just want what’s BEST for our children” as if other mothers are content to feed their kids stricnine in the guacamole.
Public school, until about the eighth grade, was a stone-cold disaster for me. I was picked on, bullied, teased and tormented frequently. It affected my confidence, my grades, and I see the bruises it left on me in how I form and maintain relationships as an adult. And yet I still think that being within the school system, be it public or private, is the right thing to do for children. Why? Because the world is not set up to be some kind, cuddly place all the time. Kids, yes, even kids, need to learn how to deal with authority figures that do not care, bullies in the school, people who do not look and act just like them, etc. Why? So that when they become adults, the world is something they can manage effectively.
Susan says:
I wouldn’t say that would help kids manage things effectively at all.
For some, it may just build a feeling of hopelessness, and they won’t even want to bother to try. They won’t want to get out there and fight and handle the real world; why bother? The school’s idea to leave it to me to handle was exactly why I left. I couldn’t stand it.
It just sounds like a recipe for apathy to me (for some kids, not all).
twingles says:
Homeschooling is fine as long as people WANT to do it. You are right, if it were mandated, it would be a HUGE problem for many people. I can see where it works for some people. I live in NC now and it’s much more popular here than it was in NY where I used to live. I could see how it would benefit one of my kids….if I were any good at it (read: more patient than I am).
Good post.
Kelli says:
I have been homeschooling for 5 years now. Mine are 9th grade and 6th grade. We belong to two different home school groups with over a hundred involved families. There is a beautiful prom, graduation, and more. Our homeschool basketball team has won nationals. We have almost weekly field trips and lots of activities. Homeschooling has worked for us that I have been able to let my daughter go ahead and do all she is capable of including starting college credits this year. Enabling my son who has had several health issues and is delayed to be given more one on one. I always say though that Homeschooling is not for everyone. I know some that home school that really should look for other options but for some it just works and I am glad that it works so well for us.
Maria Keil says:
I have known kids that were home schooled and they have no social skills, and are not at all prepared for the real world. Home Schooling is a horrible, horrible idea.
Susan says:
How do you know whether or not you have encountered kids who were home schooled that HAD social skills?
Did you automatically assume that they must have gone to public school?
Your experience alone doesn’t give you an accurate idea of home school.
Please take into account the comments written here, a number of which describe children who were home schooled and had fine social skills.
Also, please do more research before putting out such strong statements on a sensitive topic like this. Read articles and listen to a variety of people’s actual experiences with it (this comment section alone would give you a better idea of home school).
I respect your opinion, but your accusation about home school is off the mark and based off of very minimal experience with home school.
Maria Keil says:
Susan,
The kids that I was talking about were home schooled I knew this for a fact.
You may have had a positive experience with home-schooling but there are many children out their that home schooling made them into people that are not at all ready to face the world as adults.
Susan says:
There are numerous academic articles that say otherwise.
Statistically, home school kids have little problem adjusting to the real world. The ones you have mentioned are exceptions.
There are many ways to home school, just as there are many types of public school. Some ways of home schooling are excellent, some are far from it; the same is true of public schools.
It comes in a wide variety of forms, so broadly saying “home school is horrible” is as flawed of a statement as saying “public school is horrible”.
Connie says:
And I know public school kids who are depressed, bullied, entitled, ill-mannered, AND have no social skills. It goes both ways.
I hate that socialization is one of the biggest topics discussed when people bring up their problems with homeschooling. Aside from the fact that the school environment is UNNATURAL (where else are you forced to be with only people your own age in the “real world”?) , let’s think about kind of socialization that public schools produce: peer pressure, rivalry, ridicule, and extreme bullying.
Maria Keil says:
Connie,
Socialization is brought up SO much as it is a very important part of life. If you can not socialize with people this can be a huge problem in the real world.
Maria
Wendyinvt says:
It’s definitely an interesting topic, and it works for some, and doesn’t for others, like most things in life. I got divorced when my kids were 9, 7, and 5. If I had stayed home to school my children, how would my mortgage get paid, and how would I have put food on the table? I probably would have been fine “teaching” child #1, but #2 is way smarter than I am, and #3 has a learning disability. If I had, or was forced to homeschool, I don’t think my kids would have benefited from it at all. I would also have been paying huge therapy bills for all of us!
Molly says:
Homeschooling means giving Mom or Dad another full-time job, and this one’s unpaid. And it usually means it’s Mom. Let’s not overlook the (usually patriarchal) labor issues here.
JACKIE says:
Good for you to keeping an open mind about HS. I was so excited to send my daughter off to Kindergarten this year! I’m in the class once or twice a week to help out and wow. Nothing changed my mind about HS like this experience. I live in a nice suburb with a decent little school. 32 kids to one teacher, yikes! The teacher is great however the system is broken. The words my child comes home with, the attitudes of the other students, the waste of time trying to discipline the unruly children…I could go on!If this is socialization, NO THANK YOU! We will be home next year and I’m even more excited. My hubby and I both work, but we adjusted our schedules long ago so one of us is always home for the kids. We found a great local group that gets together often and are planning for lots of activities as part of our days.
I would never say every family should do this, it’s not realistic in our world today.
You are ultimately responsible for your child’s education whether or not you keep them home or send them away. If you keep them home, however, you have nobody else to blame!:)
Shauna says:
Mike, I just wanted to say thanks for posting this. You’ve brought a discussion to me that’s making me aware of both sides of the issue. You’ve brought up this discussion in a respectful, tasteful manner. I really respect the thought and care you and Heather put into raising your girls!
Mike says:
Thank you, Shauna.
Heather B. says:
Also teachers get to leave at 3 and they have summers off. Anyone can do it. Gosh, Mike.
/sarcasm
sister sister says:
I didn’t take your thoughts as being judgemental. I don’t think that teaching kids at home is right for all families, and I don’t think public schools are right for all kids. Just like schools are starting to have to become accountable to how kids are learning, I do believe homeschooling families should have some basic educational goals they are required to meet.
As far as the argument of kids not being “socialized” properly if they aren’t attending school, I think that skips over the fact that some parents want to have a choice of the influences their kids are socialized by until they’re at least a little older and more capable of understanding consequences of their choices. I’m not naive enough to think kids won’t go their own way when they’re older, but that’s a risk that comes with having kids no matter what how they’re schooled. Most communities have recreation departments that run leagues for all types of sports and dance classes for Spring and Fall seasons. These teams often practice at least a couple hours per week along with the games that are played. many libraries hold events for kids of all ages a few times per month if not every week. Some families attend church and their kids may be involved in a youth group. It’s my opinion that there are just too many opportunities for group activity outside of school to say kids can’t be socialized without school. Especially since many reports speculate about how so many kids are being bullied and ostracized at SCHOOL, and kids as a whole are already more alone than ever before because of the amount of time spent on internet, cell phones, etc…that eliminates the need for face-to-face contact.
I don’t agree with making home schooling a requirement for everyone though. And I think that the people who take it upon themselves to educate our kids (whether paid teachers or parents) should be given kudos because it is a demanding job when you really care about the kids you’re teaching.
Jessica says:
oh mike… I’m going to throw this one out there. there’s regions of this country that have a population that averages less than a high school education. I live in KY and unfortunately, there are counties in this state that just do not have the education to do this. You homeschooling proponents say, hey, they can seek out help! But from where? if they are so poverty stricken, where do they find funds to purchase materials? Who do they turn to when a subject is out of the parents grasp? these are small, not easily accessible communities. They have small schools. KY does do a lot to keep these kids in school long enough to get a diploma. and there’s a lot of scholarships and grants to get them through college. Santorum is crazy. CRAZY. This will not work, and we’ll backslide in our advancements. I really REALLY recommend a TED talk from Sir Ken Robinson. Please give it a look!
Mike says:
Hi Jessica,
From my post:
“I also worry that moving our society toward home schooling would benefit the rich and middle class (who have the financial resources and education to successfully home school), but be inequitable to the poor.”
Jessica says:
No, no hun, you addressed it. but lots of the replies did say they could seek out help. I’ve volunteered and seen first hand Appalachian poverty. Their comments would not apply to those kinds of communities.
Lessons in Life and Light says:
I don’t think most people realize the amount of time, research, and care most homeschooling parents put into actually making that kind of a decision. We started thinking about homeschool before we were even pregnant! The thing that shattered all my misconceptions about it was actually spending some time with homeschooled children. They were some of the most joyful, social, well-behaved kids I have ever met. Really…they were just amazing. And since meeting them, I’ve met more who are very much the same. Our daughter is now almost 9 months old and I’m beginning my research into what it would take to homeschool. This is a HUGE decision and I think most homeschooling parents would agree that it’s not something you enter into lightly. I just want the best for my daughter. And if homeschooling works for her (us), I’ll be very happy. If it doesn’t, then we’re open to public, private, and charter schools; wherever she thrives the most and is happiest is ultimately where she’ll go.
Caroline Cameron says:
Haven’t read the above comments so I won’t be influenced.
I’m a homeschool mom. I don’t have a college degree (although, as a Mensan, I’d wager I’m smarter than your average joe, and i have the paperwork to prove it). I see where you’re coming from with your degree qualifying you to teach. You worked hard for it, you had a specialty, but what you did is extremely different from what I do every day. I teach 2 kids. Two. And, they’re mine. I don’t have a bunch of red tape to deal with, hoops to jump through, or parents to finagle. I have my two kids and myself and my husband and we’re doing pretty damn well, tyvm.
Both my kids were early readers. I didn’t teach them though. They just “got it”. I won’t bother with specifics, but trust me when I saw early. My kids LOVE learning. They don’t do it for the grade, or for fear of a bad grade. They don’t read books because they’re on a list. They are enthusiastic participants in museum tours, educational lectures, historic site visits, you name it. The richness of their education exceeds ANYTHING a school can offer them. I promise that. And, we have an endless source of this elusive “socialization” thing in our homeschool group which is full of their peers. But, these peers don’t just consist of same age kids. They’re older and younger kids of a wide variety of demographics and philosophical beliefs.
Oh yeah, and they don’t raise their hands to go pee, they just go to the bathroom. And, when they’re hungry or thirsty, they get to eat – just like grown ups. They don’t have bullies in their school, unless you count me, cause I kind of bully them into cleaning their rooms periodically. They get more exercise and free play than any school children I know. And they’re testing at least one full grade level ahead of what the school says they should. I don’t “teach to the test” and if I left one of my kids behind, I’m pretty sure I’d notice. We’re not religious by any stretch, but choose to homeschool for intellectual and philosophical reasons (don’t want lemmings for children).
Your bias shows in your post. And your bias indicates that there’s much about homeschooling you don’t understand yet. It’s not right for everyone, and I don’t think it’s the answer for our failing education system. I see value in public education. But, honestly, the biggest value I see is the free childcare it provides for parents that need it. I have yet to meet a parent who doesn’t acknowledge that the childcare is one of the biggest motivators in chooseing to send your kids to public school. I don’t think that public school offers a great education for all. I learned lots of useless stuff that I don’t remember in my own public school background. The more important lesson in learning is not *what* you learn, but knowing how to learn more. My kids have that in spades.
Crystal says:
Very well said, I’m applauding.
jjr says:
You should educate yourself on what homeschooling IS before you write a compare-and-contrast. As it is it’s pretty weak. All of your arguments against homeschooling are so cliche’d… and many of your more intelligent commenters have already touched on them. I for one don’t necessarily buy that because a teacher is trained he’s better for my kids than me. Certainly my kids have had some amazing and devoted teachers and I respect them because I’ve seen their impact. I do not however automatically hold someone in high esteem simply because I find out that they are a teacher. Every time I read your posts I cringe because I feel like an english teacher should maybe write better, but alas, we’re not all perfect. So maybe you should know that before you go casting stones against homeschooling. It’s really kind of pathetic that you didn’t even think about it until your smart college friend did. That kind of thinking to me is kind of cheesy and immature.
Mike says:
Thank you for your delightful comment. You have been added to our Christmas card list!!!
Karen says:
Yeah well, Mike may be cheesy and immature but you’re a coward. At least put a name to your opinion otherwise your unwillingness to own it tends to weaken it considerably. After all, if you don’t have the guts to stand up for it and properly support it by showing yourself as a supporter, how is anyone else supposed to give a damn what you say?
(Also Mike, I don’t think you’re cheesy or immature! I do think that you have an incredible gift for wording things so that people read into it whatever their own bias wants them to, which is so often hilarious to read. Kudos!)
Jackie says:
I am a teacher (both public and private school) who left to homeschool my own child. I have seen both sides. There are valid points for each side, however, I can say in our situation, homeschooling is by far the best way to go. Public school let us down over and over.
There is much to homeschooling, and most homeschooling families do a great job. Have you checked the stats on scores for homeschooled kids lately. They are very high. Several colleges now actively recruit homeschooled kids.
Homeschooling is NOT for everyone, but for those who choose this journey, it is well worth the sacrifice, time, investment, and more.
As for the socialization issue, most homeschooled kids are exposed to more than public school kids. Isolation is rare. As for missing out on sports, parties, prom, yearbooks..most homeschoolers have access to all of it.
Best wishes to anyone who does choose to homeschool, and best wishes to anyone who doesn’t. It is a private choice for each and every family and nobody should be made to feel bad for whatever choice they make.
Joyfully,
Jackie–One mom who lives the definition of
eclectic homeschooling, farm living, and blogging.
Karen Francis says:
Firstly, just in case you all forgot, this is a personal blog. Since it’s not being used to influence legislation or redirect funding or even being worn on a t-shirt whilst Mike climbs skyscrapers dressed as Batman to draw attention to his views, I think it’s safe to say he’s entirely entitled to say whatever he likes on the subject whether it is ignorant or not.
(I would also pay money to see the Batman impression, Mike. Just saying.)
As a school teacher, my fundamental concern is education. Successful, effective, timely, relevant, engaging education. By a qualified educator. Both options mentioned here have the potential to provide this, both have the potential to completely fail. An effective teacher IS educated on best practices and with the backing of a supportive system can deliver a very successful education just as a motivated parent with the right support network and informed approach can provide an equally successful alternative. Since no school is the same as the next, no town is the same as the next, no state is the same as the next and no country is the same as the next, there is absolutely no way to apply single-solution thinking to something as complex and vital as the education of our children. Yes, whatever parents decide has to have merit and be executed properly but surely that goes without saying?
If nothing else, the home-schooling option challenges parents to seriously analyse their children’s educational needs and then explore and discover for themselves if the public school system can satisfy them. Beyond that, it empowers them with a choice that I certainly take no offense to. After all, the minute we have one system that meets everyone’s needs is the minute the robots really have taken over the Earth!
Tina Davidson says:
We have traveled many different roads with education…public, private, and home school. We have not changed because of the education provided but because of the circumstances that surrounded that particular year. For example, the thought of sending my 6th grader to the public school in my area was making me crazy so
I brought her home. She was at home and my 3rd grader attended our local elementary school. During that 6th grade year, we researched other options. We found a school that offered a classical education for home educators. Both girls now attend this school. They attend two days/week and do the other three days at home from the lesson plans provided on the two days. This works perfectly for our family and we love it. My oldest is now a 9th grader and in addition to her high school load takes two additional classes at our local community college.
Tina Davidson says:
Sorry, it wouldn’t let me type anymore on my phone
I think it boils down to what works for your family and I think you will know when the time comes! Good luck and enjoy the ride!
Crystal says:
I homeschool my children. 7, 5 and 2. Never imagined myself as the homeschooling type, but things happen. Thankfully, in my state, homeschooling is an option.
We thought we try it out for a year, and we LOVE it. We bought a full curriculum. I realize I am NOT a certified teacher. I honestly could not tell you what a 1st grader is suppose to know to become a 2nd grader. That is why it was important for me to find a COMPLETE curriculum. My lesson plans are done for me, and I dont worry about missing important details.
Tomorrow, while most kids are in school, we are meeting another homeschool family to picnic at the park. We go on field trips whenever we feel like it and we can really enjoy ourselves b/c there is rarely a crowd at 9:30 Tuesday morning. When the kids find something that interests them, we can take as much time as we want to explore it. These days with the internet, information is at their fingertips. (With Mom’s supervision, of course)
My husband works 2nd shift, so he can be home in the morning to help out, or just to enjoy a family outing. I stay home with the kids full time. We have a modest home, and a modest car. Sure, if I went back to work, I’m sure we could have a nicer home and a nicer car. But, I don’t need it. I get to spend the entire day, everyday with my family. The kids take gymnastics, dance and are involved with scouts. I promise you, they aren’t at all “weird.”
Homeschooling might not work for every family. But, for my family its AWESOME!
Keri says:
Your issues with homeschooling are so far off that I’m not going to even correct them. Please do your research before you make wild assumptions.
~homeschooling mom of 3 AND university professor